julietsierra -> RE: I want to know what the collar is to you (1/7/2007 6:49:42 AM)
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ORIGINAL: amlonging The outward symbol is useless for I know to whom I belong is stronger than something about my neck. My collar is not bragging rights because I can't wear it everywhere. That physical collar (which I no longer have - it was in my car when the car was stolen) was definitely an outward symbol of something felt inward. That inward feeling didn't end when the car/collar was stolen. What I feel inside about my ownership is stronger and deeper than any collar can demonstrate. And to that end, I agree with you. However, while I know who I am and who I belong to, with or without a collar, it was also an announcement to others that I was not available. While I can say all I need to say to someone hitting on me, because of the kind of person I am, I prefer not having to say anything at all. In this manner, my collar was definitely a benefit. But more importantly, and I should say MOST importantly - it was a talisman that I could hold, wear and be with when he couldn't be with me. The collar itself was rather wide around my neck and when nights came that I NEEDED him and he couldn't be here, that wide band was a reminder all night long that he was right here with me in my heart - even if he couldn't be here physically. Now I know that everyone else out there is just oh-so well adjusted that they NEVER have days and nights like that, but I do. And I'm not ashamed of those days and nights. I can chart them like clockwork on my calendar. They simply are what they are. When my mother gave me a pair of earrings, I wore them constantly and when stressed, I'd kind of touch them and feel calmer. When I was married, and was missing my husband because he was out of town or whatever, I'd feel the back of my ring with my thumb and be calmer. Now that I'm no longer married and am a slave in a M/s relationship, I would hold the D-ring of my collar as I fell asleep and have the same reaction. It's not bragging rights. And having a physical collar or not is no indication of whether our relationship is strong or not. It's simply connectivity when other things in my life are intruding. And no, teddybears don't work in the same way for me. juliet
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