quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

For me, I think that generally what we are seeking is someone whose fetishes match our own.  My Master enjoys that I am a masochist and he, being a sadist, likes to hurt me, so we match up nicely.  He has also led me to understand that I cannot experience all kinds of pain as pleasure and delights, being a sadist, in finding the things that ACTUALLY cause me pain to mix in with those that blur the line between pain and pleasure.

And so, we enjoy our fetishes together and enjoy pushing the boundries of what is good for the other person.  It would make sense to me that a dom with a crossdresser might indulge/enjoy that fetish most of the time, but might find ways to make it evil other times.  Choosing to not allow them to wear the clothes sometimes or choosing feminine clothes that were mismatched or unflattering might assert the control and divert from the possibility of feeling scripted. 

I personally love CD, sissies, TV, TS, and genderbending in general whether it be as a fetish or to fulfill how you know you were meant to live.  There is such truth, strength and beauty in doing what you need to do despite what society may throw at you.  My husband is the only person I have ever known who used to crossdress, not as a sexual thing at all, but a) because skirts were comfy and b) because it amused the heck out of him that he could "pass".  I thought it was sexy.  He hasn't really felt the need to do it in years, though. 
Anyway, the basic answer is that some doms like it and some don't. Find the ones that work for you.
People in general just don't want to feel like your fetish is more important than they are to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Now, I don't mean this as any kind of indictment. I have nothing against sissies or CD's, etc. I just don't want to *own* one, as my personal choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

To Ms Kat Houston (& others),
Why is a sub so much more exalted than a fetishist? He asked from the entirly disinterested position of his skirt clad ass (the tight brown one!!!!).

You've all been DELIGHTFUL by the way! I just noticed we, yes me and you, my little sissy boy loving friends, confidants and enemies, have gone soaring above the magical 100 posts barrier. [I'm doing a little curtsy in your honor] Oh I feel so proud in my lil' skirt!

"I guess you guys do love me!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


CDs, TVs, and TSs know all about women not finding them attractive.

In my experience, this repulsion or rejection is viceral, but it also stems too from the discomfort of gender confusion.

A guy raised as a guy with a drive to TV, CD or TS is somewhat at a loss for what to do and he has ZERO open, societal or family backed roads to follow. He is, at least starting out, 100% on his own, operating in total secrecy and oftentimes shame.

When such a guy takes things further, usually the first thing he does encounter is rejection, awkwardness, and also excitement and sexual stimulation. So, this thing that he cannot integrate into his life is not something he can shed b/c its linked to one of his primary drives.

On the other side, from what I have seen --- Fs don't have a natural or preexisting inclination to cross-gender or cross dress males. Its not like spanking or bondage, an activity that some women feel an internal drive to pursue. Next, woman naturally prefer men as men and want them as men --- in general.

Add it all up, and CDs, TVs, TSs aruably have a disorder, b/c there is not yin to their yang. Pile on top of that such criticisms and views like "you're not being a real man," "sissy," "wimp," etc.... and guys in this position have a real, steep uphill climb.

Women have it much easier. For instance, my Mistress dresses like a man all the time --- if I can even say that --- because male dress --- except for maybe suits and ties (if that) is now unisex. Skirts, blouses, pantyhose, heels, et. al. are not unisex.

I do think it would be interesting to explore this disparity. In the post sexual revolution, emancipation of women phase of today, its ok for women to want to be "like men," but its not so ok for men to want to be like women.

Oddly, much of the problem here comes from the women's side, which I must say is ironic to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong


I think the answer to finding a mate for a CD is a bi-sexual female, To seek a strictly het female and expect her to warm up to her man in drag, is rather disappointing.

quote:

Why is a sub so much more exalted than a fetishist? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

In my opinion, wanting submission to be based on certain activities (expressions of dominance and submission) does not necessarily make one a bottom or a fetishist. I think the whole distinction between bottom, submissive, and fetishist is complex because a given act could be each, and a given person could be each.
Cheers,

Sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I think the answer to finding a mate for a CD is a bi-sexual female,  To seek a strictly het female and expect her to warm up to her man in drag, is rather disappointing. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I think the answer to finding a mate for a CD is a bi-sexual female, To seek a strictly het female and expect her to warm up to her man in drag, is rather disappointing.

It still takes a certain bi-sexual female ... I'm bi, but I have no interest in crossdressers. If I want fem, I'll go to Holly (or get permission to seek a female out) - Holly and I both want our boys to be boys and our girls (should we ever have any) to be girls.

quote:

ORIGINAL: maidheather

I can understand that, and please, understand that when I ask this, I am in no way critisizing you, but does that mean that to you there are only two genders, male and female? I ask because I have been diagnosed by a medical professional as being in between the two. When I'm not at work, I live, dress, and speak as a girl, and when I am at work, I'm still mistaken for a girl most of the time. I would work there as Heather, except the company that I'm working for wants me to cough up the money for a $20,000 surgery before I can start working there as Heather. In the meantime, I get embarrased on an almost daily basis when I'm using the bathroom and I have someone come in and freak out thinking they walked into the women's room. Yes, I know I could chop my hair short and try to deepen my voice to act more "manly", but it's not who I am.