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Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:27:10 AM

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Since I joined this website on Friday, the thing that most amazes me is how many mistresses don't like sissy subs. Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness? What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?
Skirtboy

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:30:57 AM

stef

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Some do and some dont, just like with every other fetish and activity out there.

~stef

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(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:34:30 AM

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It's simply not their thing. end of story.

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:50:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

... Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness?

The very depth of submissiveness is serving the Domme precisely as she desires/requires, regardless of the submissive's personal preferences, though it only makes sense to find someone who likes the same things you do.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:50:57 AM

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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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i am in no way a Dominant, but i am a submissive that is also a beginnin Top, as for me, i simply dont find men in women`s clothing attractive, that do not mean there is somthing wrong whit them, it is just that i dont find them attractive. Ofcourse i dont find bald men attractive either, though some look ok, even if bald, so i might find a sissy i like the apperance of, if it is done very well. But a grown man, whit big hairy legs sticking out of a pink dress and a big blond wig and a beard (i am not saying all is this way) ismply do not do it for me. But many might like this.

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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:55:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

... Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness?

The very depth of submissiveness is serving the Domme precisely as she desires/requires, regardless of the submissive's personal preferences, though it only makes sense to find someone who likes the same things you do.

_____________________________

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 9:57:38 AM

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But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here? I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me, but if I tell her what I want then I've spoiled the possibility of something new and, I assume, the dom is no longer dom if she's working from my script.

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"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:00:35 AM

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"the very depth of submission" is someone SUBMITTING *gasps of shock all around*

What a person wears while submitting is completely inconsequential - how a person goes about submitting is the important thing. I would much rather have a boy dressed comfortably (or undressed *grin*) who doesn't object to doing just about anything that I ask, than a boy who insists on wearing dresses as a sign of his "submission." I want someone who does what I want him to do (or what Holly wants), not someone who only feels submissive if we cater to his idea of a submissive.

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:01:03 AM

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Whit my Master we are not working from a script and yet, he asked me what i like to, somtimes he will do things i like but that he dont even care aboute as a reward. Cominication is the key, talk whit a potesnial Mistress, a polite request is never wrong, you have needs to, tell her aboute them, but just remember it is her choice if she will grant your wish or not.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:02:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here? I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me,

No paradox, skirtboy43. You might have a fetish, but does "I want someone to do what I want" sound submissive to you?

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:05:13 AM

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From: Sin City
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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here? I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me, but if I tell her what I want then I've spoiled the possibility of something new and, I assume, the dom is no longer dom if she's working from my script.

If that is the case, there is no shame in it. It simply means that you are a bottom, rather than a submissive. Do you see the difference? The words themselves will vary, but the general concept is the same. You are looking for someone to fulfill a fantasy, rather than looking to submit yourself to someone. As I said, there is no shame in that, and I'm sure there is a service top out there somewhere that will help you fulfill it.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:06:54 AM

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Sweet Dommes (and even your own title seems mired in paradox, irony and all that good stuff),
Well exactly! Why submit if you're not going to get the kind of submitting that you think you want? Or do doms 'know' more about their subs than the sub himself does? And if so, how?

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"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:09:32 AM

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So a bottom is a sub with distinct ideas about the manner in which he wants to be a sub? I thought a bottom had something to do with gay sex.

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"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to Lorelei115)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:10:42 AM

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i would agree to what is being said, there is a man in my hometown that like to wear womens dresses, he is not into BDSM, he jist like to wear dresses, is he submissive, no, he just like to wear womens clothes. Being submissive is feeling deep inside you the need to serve, not just a need to furfill some fantasy, but a deep need to serve. Now not wearing womens clothing if that is what your Dominant wants, now that is a sign of submission.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:13:36 AM

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Personally, I LOVE sissy boys.

I am of the opinion that both/all parties should get what they want/need from a relationship for it to be successful If being a sissy is what you need, then you need to find a DOMINANT that will go for that. There are things I don't play with and I won't hold a conversation very long with those that like those things. However, anyone that thinks a submissive/slave should not get anything he/she wants/needs from a relationship is sorely mistaken and needs to re-evaluate why they desire to get in any type of relationship.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:15:45 AM

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Sweet Dommes,
I also don't know how you can say that what you wear is "inconsequential." For me, and I can't believe I'm alone in this, what you wear (or don't wear) adds to the sheer sensuality of the erotic act. Tight or loose clothing, frothy frills or severe leather, naked or dressed, etc seem to me to be central to the whole...project.

_____________________________

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:15:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here? I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me,

No paradox, skirtboy43. You might have a fetish, but does "I want someone to do what I want" sound submissive to you?

It may not sound submissive but it sounds human. Who wants a robot/automaton? Not me.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:16:54 AM

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I don't seen any irony or paradox to the screen name that I use here. The title was bestowed upon Holly and me by a dear friend of ours a few years back - and most who have taken the time to get to know us have decided that it's appropriate.

I don't think that Dominants know more about a particular submissive than that particular submissive knows about him/herself ... but to have a person come out and state that the ultimate in submissive behavior is something that Holly and I neither one find to be attractive in any way, that is a little irritating. You seem to be making a rather broad statement that any male submissive that is truly submissive should just be waiting in anticipation (with bated breath, of course) of being ordered to put on a dress and heels. To me, that is absolutely absurd - perhaps it is the ultimate in submission for some, but definitely not for all.

There are some who enjoy it, and more power to them. But to have someone come on here and make a statement like you made ... it seems like you are trying to force your fetish onto everyone ... like you are trying to tell the Dominants on this board what they should like. And let me tell you, I've had more than enough of that. I'm tired of being told that because I'm Dominant, that I have to like X; that because I'm bi, I must love Y; that because I'm poly, I have to do Z. It's all silly, it's all annoying, and it mostly comes from those who have been in the lifestyle either far longer than we have (and thus think that they know everything

), or those who have just started and have been 'coached' by those who think they know everything.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:17:37 AM

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From: Sin City
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Well, you're going to find that pretty much everyone in BDSM has their own definition of certain words, but to me, a bottom is someone who recieves gratification through recieving sensations. A submissive is someone who recieves gratification through making their dominant happy. As you are focused on making yourself happy through cross-dressing rather than submitting to what will make a dominant happy, I would call you a bottom. Like I said, nothing wrong with that, I just think its important to see that there is a distinction between the two.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:19:25 AM

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Mistress BBBTBW,
Thank you, so I'm not, as some other responders claim, a selfish-sub. Kissy, kissy!

_____________________________

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to BBBTBW)

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