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OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:02:19 AM

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Okay, based upon another thread in another zone. I am asking a question.

To all the submissives and slaves (why did I just hear a Julio Iglesias song in my head....to all the girls I've loved befoooooorrrrrrre.....)anyway back to the topic at hand.

What would you do/think/say IF you found out that your dominant/master/mistress had neglected to inform you that they had been submissive/slave in the past? Would it matter if it was more of a scene/bottoming thing versus a relationship? Why? Or, would you view it as a learning experience?

AND to add an extra kink in the chain.....what if you found out they still had switch tendencies and had not told you about it?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:10:33 AM

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End of relationship.

It would completely alter my view of Him. I could not submit to Him knowing He had in the past submitted to another. And I would be seriously freaked to know He still had the desire to do it now.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:10:45 AM

sleazybutterfly

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I know I have went back and forth, sub/slave/switch/Dom.. and I have learned a ton along the way. I don't see how I would feel any different about him after he told me, than before.

It takes a while sometimes to figure out who we are, and we should take those times and learn something from them to help us in anyway we can.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:13:01 AM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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It would not make me view him any differently other than knowing all of our experiences make us who we are. I do not know of any submissiveness in his past, in fact he has directly stated he has never been in the submissive role, so if I found out he had been after he explicitly had told me he hadn't, I may feel he was intentionally misleading... although I cannot conceive of him lying to me over something very trivial as that

That being said, I do not think that we owe it to our partners to make a detailed list of every sexual act we have ever performed, especially after one has been sexually active for 20 years. I think that these things come out over time with a partner. So my answer is: in the big scheme of things it would not impact my relationship with my Daddy if he confided something to me about his sexual past, in fact he has confided things to me that he was not completely comfortable talking about at first... that is part of the joy of bonding with your partner... that they can trust to tell you things and they know you will accept them regardless

Edited to add, as far as switching, we are not poly, if it were just a passing desire and not something he had to act on I would be fine with that. Just because someone is bi does not mean they need to have sex with multiple people.. just because someone has a passing fancy of switching does not mean they need to act on it. As long as he was satisfied with me, I am fine.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/26/2007 11:16:07 AM >

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:13:53 AM

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From: Nunya!
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I'd be like... Dude... you what? No way! You just became even more awesome to me. Now get on your knees and PRESENT THAT ASS!

Seriously, I'd be pissed if something like that was withheld, but it's not as life-altering as say.... he's married and "forgot" to tell me...

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:15:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

End of relationship.

It would completely alter my view of Him. I could not submit to Him knowing He had in the past submitted to another. And I would be seriously freaked to know He still had the desire to do it now.

Interesting.

As I understand it that there are many that feel it almost a requirement as part of education and growth to have served in the beginning. A very impressive master that has come the closest to intimidating me as any I have known, the one that led me to this site, began his life of BDSM serving a mistress as a youth.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/26/2007 11:16:32 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:16:04 AM

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If someone had subbed, then realized that it didn't fit them at all, I would have no problem with that Dominant. If I found that he really liked switching and wanted to do that, then I might have a problem. I think it would depend on the person. Are they switchy or are they a masochist who likes to bottom to a sadist on occasion? I see those as 2 different things.

I do know that the energy I get from Dominants is very different than what I feel in switches and submissives, for the most part.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:18:32 AM

kate

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i'd be upset that he haden't told me... but i would be ok with the fact that it had happned.....BUT i would be a little squicked out for a little while....i don't know, i think i would be able to tell, lol

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:23:49 AM

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I would never leave her alone with the toilets again.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to kate)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:26:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

End of relationship.

It would completely alter my view of Him. I could not submit to Him knowing He had in the past submitted to another. And I would be seriously freaked to know He still had the desire to do it now.

Interesting.

As I understand it that there are many that feel it almost a requirement as part of education and growth to have served in the beginning. A very impressive master that has come the closest to intimidating me as any I have known, the one that led me to this site, began his life of BDSM serving a mistress as a youth.

Julia mentioned sexual history, but what I'm talking about is the desire, the need to submit to the authority of another in the confines of a relationship.

Nope, it would definitely change things to the detriment of the relationship. I wouldn't be able to get that outta my head.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:26:47 AM

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I don't think it would completely alter my view of him. I probably would be a little upset that he didn't tell me that kind of information, but i wouldn't leave him because of it. I would feel the same if he were just a 'scening submissive' versus in a relationship.

I think i would be more upset about the switch tendencies over anything else. I would want to know if he was unhappy just being the dominant one, and i would want to know even more if he needed to take care of the submissive inside him.

But nothing would change my view of him.

< Message edited by litleone8620 -- 2/26/2007 11:28:12 AM >

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:27:04 AM

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I'd be completely concerned about WHY they hadn't been able to tell me this.

I wouldn't care at all about the actual thing. I have a relationship with them now, this is who they are, that's what matters. I don't care if they were kept in a basement by an entire sorority house through college.

It's the betrayal and the lies which would upset me and affect the relationship.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:29:03 AM

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LA,

If you still know any sorority girls like that give me a buzz will ya?

Richard Speck

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:31:53 AM

kate

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
. I don't care if they were kept in a basement by an entire sorority house through college.

ok, so....you are going to need to tell me where to go about finding there girls, ok?....cuz i have heard of nothing this fun going on at my uni, lol

< Message edited by kate -- 2/26/2007 11:38:02 AM >

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:38:06 AM

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I think I'd be pretty annoyed that he neglected to tell me. That is not one of those things one 'forgets' to mention. I know that it would not change the way I feel about my partner---if I had a different partner, it might. Would it make a difference to me if it had been just a scene or a relationship---no probably not. If he had switch tendancies and neglected to tell me---I'd probably say, switch it back and stay Dom.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:38:22 AM

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From: All over now in Minnesota
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It would be a huge punch to the stomach that could cause the relationship to be doomed.

Certainly the reason why they were is the critical factor. My biggest fear with this life is finding out the one I am with decides he does not want this type of relationship anymore and expects me to go OK. This would include a switch who grows tired of being dominate, someone confused which role they want or if they need at all and someone just playing the roles like an actor. If I could be convinced that their true path is dominant then I would be perfectly fine with it. I will be honest though, that is a lot easier written then done.

I also could not be with an active switch. I have no moral grounds but I just could not see myself being with a person that needs things that I cannot provide for them.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:40:24 AM

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Dammit I did this for Julia and Troll and now I am sucked into it.

BRN, I think you know me well enough to know I am not at all picking on you, I just find your thoughts interesting. Here is my line of thinking. If a person at age 20 was, as most are, insecure, unsure, basically rather lost in life. A strong dominant comes along and lures him/her into HIS/HER lair. Nurtures them, guides them, kinda shows them the ways of life.

Years go by, the lowercase of the two becomes a much stronger and more confident person. Begins topping and having sub/slaves of their own. Yet still remains submissive to their teacher. Slowly they break away either thru life's stuff or death, whatever, and in all other relationships is dominant. Perhaps and probably an even better, stronger, dominant than they ever would have been if they not had that first relationship to guide them.

Does the fact that they once served a very special master/mistress that helped them to become the amazing master/mistress that you are now serving, in any way make them less?

I agree with LA, I would only be concerned if someone felt the need to keep in secret. Were I a submissive I think I would actually be quite thrilled that someone I was entrusting myself to, had had that experience. In many ways I wish I had had that when I was much younger.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:41:41 AM

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From: Under a bridge
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LaT, you know my policy.

Deny deny deny!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:44:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

LaT, you know my policy.

Deny deny deny!

Have I mentioned what I think of "policies"?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to FukinTroll)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 11:47:08 AM

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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Have I mentioned that I am Pharaoh and live in d'nile?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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