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RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/7/2005 8:24:02 PM

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Joined: 1/23/2005
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Ok so in some ways orgasm denial is not as bad as all that typing and writing but how does this punishment sound? bringing herself close to orgasm 6 times a day while writing a journal entry and an essay each day for 14 days on diff topics. The bringing herself close and not getting to relieve herself she will regret what she did and will learn her lesson very well. I know i dont have to watch her on cam cause i trust her and i know my trust is not misplaced in her.

(in reply to HayaSierra)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/7/2005 8:51:02 PM

Posts: 119
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From: In Georgia
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Greetings Dom Neo,

That could work well, it is similar to something I have dished out once in regards to Devotions... -- however a problem that could be encountered is the realistic lack of time to do it 6 times a day. Although, I have used such a variety on a Male submissive, so it may work well enough for a female. If the amount of time it takes is an issue, try to cut it down to having the punishment not take up more than two hours a day, especially if you still seek her to service and be in service to you during that time. (Punishment lasting 14 days) . My particular I used with my male submissive had him worn out, and that was only 3 times per day and reciting a Devotion after each time of coming close. He never forgot that Devotion nor proper respects again!

Sierra,
Haya of Ka Azdor Estate

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/7/2005 9:01:47 PM

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Greetings HayaSierra.
The getting close doesn't take her long at all cause with how horny she is it only takes a matter of minutes to get close and she is a good writer so it shouldn't take too long. She is still looking for a job though in the small town she is currently living in so she has plenty of free time.

DomNeo.

P.S. I like your avatar pic and your curtosy and open mindedness to not jump to conclusions and accusations right off the bat.

(in reply to HayaSierra)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/7/2005 10:51:02 PM

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Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
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Greetings,

*nods* Thank you for the compliments DomNeo. Respect and courtesy are deeply important to me. I keep an open mind so I can learn, and I love the diversity of this place!. As for her job-search, I hope she has good luck! I know you're encouraging her, and that must help. As for the Avatar, it came from this forum's selection of Avatars.

Sierra,
Haya of Ka Azdor Estate

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/7/2005 11:14:59 PM

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Thank you for clearing up the confusion about how long and how face-to-face the relationship is DomNeo. It does make a difference in what kind of behaviour is acceptable from a submissive. If a relationship is very new then you would not expect the same level of obedience because you would still be finding out what works and what does not. If the relationship had lasted years then disobeying an order is much more significant and should be handled differently.

A blanket punishment would be when you tell her that if she disobeys any order then she will be XXX (flogged twice, made to kneel on rice, have to sit in the corner with her nose pressed to the wall, etc.). A specific punishment for a specific offense would run along the lines of: if you miss writing in the journal for two nights in a row then you will not receive any e-mails from Me for two days (or no communication or will not be spoken to).

A comment as to why punishments might need to be agreed to: I have a personal character flaw that results in Me usually being late or almost late for appointments no matter how hard I try to be on time. If would not help Me overcome this if I was punished every time I was late. However, just knowing that the other person would be terrible disappointed each time I am late would make Me try as hard as I could to be on-time. If I was submissive and My Dominant felt that I should be punished every time I was late I would feel the punishment was inappropriate (because it would not change My behaviour). If the Dominant was punishing Me for things I truely had little control over then I would eventually seek another Dominant.

This is why I prefer to find ways to modify the behaviour of a submissve rather then to out and out punish them. I want the behaviour corrected ultimately. The suggestions you have been given as to having the submissive write an essay explaining her responsibilities and yours fall into this category. The submissive is given a reason to modify the behaviour that is connected to the wrong behaviour. MsSilvie, siamsa24, and perverseangelic described the reasons very clearly.

When I was growing up I used to eat the raw chocolate cake mix while I was preparing it. This usually resulted in very small cakes. My mother decided the appropriate punishment was to eat an entire raw chocolate cake mix. Her intention was to have Me do the wrong behaviour enough that I would modify it and stop eating the raw cake mix. (This did not work exactly the way she had planned however as I eat raw chocolate cake mix to this day....BUT I no longer nibble on it while I am making a cake. I buy a package specifically for eating.)

*chuckle*...the avatar is one of the ones offered by collarme but thank you.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/8/2005 12:08:40 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomNeo

We both are dead serious about the D/s relationship and our relationship is tight and trusting. We are not lacking in communication as much as you think either. she understands why she gets punished and after i finish her punishment i ask her why she has been punished and has the right answer.

I wasn't trying to dish on the communication in your relationship. It just always surprises me how 2 people who are very close can sometimes have -entirely- different ideas about what is or should be going on.

My partner and I have been together coming up on three years, and we -still- surprise each other with what we think the other is saying.

having someone -clearly- lay out what they're thinking is -never- a bad thing.

Re: Essays
When I think essay I think 10-20 pages, with research put into it. Maybe that's just the English major in me. :) One big essay as opposed to lots of little ones? Eh. Personal preference.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/8/2005 3:22:19 AM

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I can understand your concern DomNeo, for punishment is never an easy thing.

If I understand it correctly, this is the situation.

You have a submissive that is without her Master, going to school, looking for a job, forgetting her journaling issues, and undergoing a punishment that requires 50 days with no orgasms while bringing herself close 4 times a day everyday. You are involved with work from 6 am until midnight including travel time.

I actually have many of the concerns expressed eloquently by others, but I will ignore those concerns and trust that all is well and that you are a just a little short of punishment ideas.

Here is what I would consider ....

I would make her keep a diary of where she is spending her time. She might need help with time management. It gives her a task to do and lets me understand where I can instruct or add activities to help her be more productive.

I would have her keep a log of job search activities. It is a good idea to do that anyway when looking for a job, and again, I can add activities that are more productive than kneeling on rice.

I would have her inform me of her college progress. Punishment might include forced study time.

I would certainly have her catch up on all journal entries, and insist that the journal entries discuss why she was not doing the entries.

If there was a webcam available, I would have her do these things while I watched. That might include study time. Of course, having her wear special clothes, no clothes, butt plug, etc. while doing all that is something I might add in.

In other words, I would make sure the punishment enabled me to better understand, instruct, and control.

_____________________________

"Dominance begins above the neck, not below the waist"

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/8/2005 6:48:53 PM

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Joined: 1/23/2005
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I have changed the current punishment to being 6-8 times a day everyday of bringing herself close, writing a journal entry and essay on a subject i choose, and reading 2 bdsm erotic stories without being allowed to orgasm at all. So far she is getting very sexually frustrated from the punishment and is learning her lesson.

My job is slowing down cause spring break up has come up and road bans are in place for the time being while a few more people are getting hired which is kindof nice. I'm not saying all the money i'm making is bad. I mean it is better that i make all that money now before i move to ontario so if i don't get a job right a way i still have the money to fall back on to pay the bills.

Thank you for the diary idea MasterLexitus. perverseangelic. even though the 10-20 pages of one essay would be good punishment i just don't think i'd have the patience to read all that in one sitting or day. GentleLady and HayaSierra. You 2 are welcome for the avatars and for clearing this whole mess up.

I guess one of my character flaws is my lack of concern for others other then my slave and myself. I encourage her to be her best and when she succeeds. That is when i am filled with pride. Pride that i know i have myself a good slave and a great girlfriend.

How can one change there avatar?(i know that's off topic but might as well not start a thread about it.)

DomNeo.

(in reply to MasterLexitus)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/9/2005 10:46:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomNeo

Thank you for the diary idea MasterLexitus. perverseangelic. even though the 10-20 pages of one essay would be good punishment i just don't think i'd have the patience to read all that in one sitting or day. DomNeo.

Why would you feel obligated to read it in one day, let alone read it at all?

It can be quite effective to have them hand the pages to you and then watch you burn it in front of them.

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/9/2005 10:31:08 PM

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Joined: 1/23/2005
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That is a good point. it would be harsh but it saves time and burns the lungs pretty bad. lol.

DomNeo.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 4:17:23 AM

lil1v

Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLexitus

Here is what I would consider ....

I would make her keep a diary of where she is spending her time. She might need help with time management. It gives her a task to do and lets me understand where I can instruct or add activities to help her be more productive.

I would have her keep a log of job search activities. It is a good idea to do that anyway when looking for a job, and again, I can add activities that are more productive than kneeling on rice.

I would have her inform me of her college progress. Punishment might include forced study time.

I would certainly have her catch up on all journal entries, and insist that the journal entries discuss why she was not doing the entries.

If there was a webcam available, I would have her do these things while I watched. That might include study time. Of course, having her wear special clothes, no clothes, butt plug, etc. while doing all that is something I might add in.

In other words, I would make sure the punishment enabled me to better understand, instruct, and control.

Excellent Answer! If I was the sub in this situation, while I wouldn't appreciate all the extra work, this would make me think twice about doing it again. Just knowing that my Master would know my entire day where I spent my time and where I could have fit in a journal entry but didn't.. UGH.. And then him knowing all the empty slots where he could "add" stuff for me to do. I'd be in a complete state of frenzy and would not forget to write in my journal any time soon after that.

I also liked that your punishments were well thought out as in would not only punish but would also help educate you on your subs behaviors... allowing you to understand, instruct, and control from a better vantage point.

Neo's punishments of 4 times per day for 50 days with no cumming... While that would be punishing, I would not find it entirely helpful in rectifying the situation. Sexual frustration for me is not a motivator to do anything but find a way to "get off"... I don't concentrate very well on anything else. I can handle a couple days, maybe a week, but 50 days. Eventually, I'd be "forgetting" to do my journal entries as well, mostly just to "punish" my Dom by not letting him into my thoughts.

Actually, thats one of the major reasons I would "forget" (or have "forgotten") to write in my journal ... is if I wanted or felt the need to retaliate. One or two days.. I might really have forgotten depending on what was going on in my day to day life. But two weeks?

And I don't remember who said "ignoring the sub" as a punishment. Thats a huge punishment for me and it doesn't take much of that to get the point across. Too much ignoring or lack of attention though, and my inner rebel comes out and I start ignoring back (which would also be a reason I'd "forget" my journal).

But then those are just my thoughts in how I work... or don't work per se

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V

(in reply to MasterLexitus)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 10:09:38 AM

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Long distance relationships are difficult, at best. Long distance D/s relationships are even more so (IMHO). I was a sub/slave online to a Master in Australia for three years. Never once was I told to work myself to "near orgasm" and then stop. For us, our agreement (yes, OURS) on punishment was never to become sexual. We kept punishment out of the cyber bedroom. It is my opinion that all disagreements should be kept out of the bedroom and it was His as well.
It was much more effective to have to write out my version of the situation from what I thought was His perspective. I would send it to Him, and He would correct it and send it back. There were usually sentences that had to be sent back to Him via instant messenger. He was ALWAYS present, though, and ALWAYS showed His interest in moderating my punishment. Yes, I could have cut and paste my sentences and sent it-if I were not a devoted partner in a relationship I chose to respect. I always typed them out. Typos were to be left in, no deleting or backspacing to eliminate them, and He would count them, adding another sentence for each typo.
This doesn't seem too harsh-and for the most part, I felt lucky for that. The point of this whole monologue is that HE WAS THERE. I didn't care what I had to do, as long as He was there to see I was doing it.
It's easy to become rebellious when attention is wanted. My children do it all the time. If I'm on the phone-the fighting begins. When Master wasn't there-it hurt much worse than kneeling on rice.
Lastly; I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my Master adored and loved me-but I needed to hear it sometimes, too. It's not weak for a Master to show affection and love and it's very productive toward maintining a submissive's devotion and eagerness to please.
~Peace~ MsTrin

_____________________________

We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can alter the direction of our sails

(in reply to lil1v)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 10:11:28 AM

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ok-this is twice now I've "replied to" someone unintentionally-someone help me pick the right reply button!!!!

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We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can alter the direction of our sails

(in reply to MistressTrin)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 11:04:27 AM

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Joined: 1/23/2005
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No one ever said you had to reply to a certain person with your posts. Just so long as you get your point accross i guees. But if need be you can go to that certain persons last post and click on reply above their message. You also spelt maintaining wrong in your second last post.

DomNeo.

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RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 11:34:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstRwc

this is only a slaves opinion

Sorry for snipping something that is completely out of context, and i haven't read forward yet to see if anyone else said anything but... what do you mean 'only'?

~ Elektra

(in reply to MstRwc)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 11:37:46 AM

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HAHA! Guess that's more sentences for me!

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We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can alter the direction of our sails

(in reply to DomNeo)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 11:48:28 AM

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Hello DomNeo,

Having now read all the thread i'm hoping i haven't missed this but has anyone asked you why you asked her to write a journal and then didn't read it for two weeks? Just from my own perspective i'd want to know why i was detailing my thoughts and ideas IF my Master was so uninterested in me he didn't notice i hadn't done it for two weeks. I know you've said you're busy, and i can almost feel people telling me 'because he asked her!!!' but that would be what i was thinking... if i was her...

Don't you Want to know what has been happening in her world? And did you not ask her whether she'd done it every time you spoke? or have i missed something and you've not been in contact with her at all for all that time? Master always asks me every time we speak if i've carried out the tasks he has given me.

As a slave i want to know that what i'm doing is giving pleasure, is right, is satisfactory... if i'm just blindly expected to do something for weeks with Master not even noticing whether i'm doing it or not... i would feel Master wasn't really interested in me.

It's a two-way street, isn't it..?

~ Elektra

(in reply to MistressTrin)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 12:50:15 PM

lil1v

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Ditto what she said.

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V

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 7:24:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM

It's a two-way street, isn't it..?

~ Elektra

Yes and no.

It's up to the Owner whether he reads emails I send him, it's up to the Owner whether he responds to them. It's inappropriate to expect him to read and respond as I would want.

It's also not appropriate for me to expect a "good girl" or check-ins on whether I've done things or not. He commands, I obey. If he has to question whether they've been done all the time I would worry he doesn't think I'm competent to carry out his orders.

That being said, relationships have feedback in them, and most Ms relationships have a day to day life component to them, and knowing what's going on, checking on things and getting both positive and negative responses in relation to them is a good way to build a sense of togetherness over time. The Owner certainly does thank me, tell me "good girl" and ask on certain occasions about orders and such. But I don't expect it.

Exactly how that gets carried out varies depending on the relationship.

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

RE: Long distance punishment ideas. - 4/10/2005 9:41:58 PM

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I mean no offence in what i'm about to say but don't you think i could read the journal entries when i'm not so busy ElektraUKM? They are on a website and don't get deleted. Should i even have to ask her if she done it if it was an order?

DomNeo.

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

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