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18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:12:59 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

Post #: 1

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:22:17 AM

BeatMeDaily

Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

i like the 18-20 year Dommes with 5-8 yrs of experience !! that cracks me up, they
were beating other kids in grade school ??
And yes, 18 yr olds are not mature, I dont' care how many drugs they've done to grow up,
fact is, we were all that age and I remember we thought we knew everything too, only
later to discover that you do indeed continue to learn throughout life, not just the first 18 yrs.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 2

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:28:06 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

Greetings Dnomyar

I guess first I would have to ask you to give me YOUR idea of what maturity is. Is it only having been married, raising a family, owning a home, having a job? ( I use these because they are the examples that you, yourself used ). So, please, explain first, what maturity means to YOU. And what constitutes being Mature in your eyes.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 3

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:31:17 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

While its true that some people are mature for their ages its very rare ive found to actually find someone who is. Some people have more life experiences at 18 than people at 38 I'm not sure thats always a good thing.

When i look back now to being 18 and what i was doing in my life i feel like doing this

I knew fuck all lol and i was one of the most mature in my class at collage.

It is so funny tho to recieve messages from 19 year old dommes/subs with 4/5 years experience it instantly makes me think shit if you mean in a bondage way there has been something wrong going on.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 4

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:32:06 AM

WilliamWizer

Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeatMeDaily

i like the 18-20 year Dommes with 5-8 yrs of experience !! that cracks me up, they
were beating other kids in grade school ??
And yes, 18 yr olds are not mature, I dont' care how many drugs they've done to grow up,
fact is, we were all that age and I remember we thought we knew everything too, only
later to discover that you do indeed continue to learn throughout life, not just the first 18 yrs.

I prefer the 18 year slaves with 10 years of experience. can you spell "child abuse".

a 20 years old domme can have some experience (they can top a person older than them) but I agree that eight years of experience it's imposible. she needs to start being a domme at 12.

_____________________________

There's only two rules for a sub:
- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 5

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:34:47 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

I actually tend to agree with you... traumatic events don't cultivate maturity.. day to day life does. The mundane messiness of life builds wisdom.

My owner actively works with Ums who have had trauma every day. He'd be the first to to tell you that age isn't "just a number"

Now, that isn't to say that young people don't have valid thoughtful opinions. But I wouldn't equate them with being, say, a 40 year old who has more experience just... living.

I find it a little sad and troubling that the young adult set are often so quick to jump to maturity. Enjoy your immaturity! BE a kid! It's okay to lack a little experience... hell, I wish I wasn't so quick to leap into adulthood sometimes, lol

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 6

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:35:49 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

What is maturity in your eyes? First you need to define exactly what you mean by mature. And like many words - it is subjective.

If it is simply raising a family - been there seen it done it - then I would disagree. That is experience, these are subjects you gain experience in - not maturity. I have experience where the 8 year old child was more stable and 'grown up' than their mother behaved.

Like I said in the other post in response to your comment, people mix up 'maturity' with 'common sense'. What is the difference between being a 'grown up' and being 'grown up'.

In relation to your comment, it could be said that you are not showing very 'mature' behaviour by posting such a question since you have no 'experience' of 18 year olds who have common sense. But you may disagree and state I am mis informed.

Whiskey Matures. So does fine wine. People do not. They simple adapt to please themselves.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 7

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:39:56 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeatMeDaily

i like the 18-20 year Dommes with 5-8 yrs of experience !! that cracks me up, they
were beating other kids in grade school ??
And yes, 18 yr olds are not mature, I dont' care how many drugs they've done to grow up,
fact is, we were all that age and I remember we thought we knew everything too, only
later to discover that you do indeed continue to learn throughout life, not just the first 18 yrs.

Now see - this to me is an 'immature' response. It carries the stench of non understanding, classism and condemnation. Lets deride something we have no understanding of. Let us belittle those who have no rights in our subject eyes. Power to the people and all that.

Yes, how very 'mature'.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 8

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:42:39 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings Dnomyar

I guess first I would have to ask you to give me YOUR idea of what maturity is. Is it only having been married, raising a family, owning a home, having a job? ( I use these because they are the examples that you, yourself used ). So, please, explain first, what maturity means to YOU. And what constitutes being Mature in your eyes.

I wish you well

melissa

Hello, jauntyone. =)

There's a subtle line between jaded and maturity. To me, maturity is having priorities well in order.. a sense of personal responsibility AND a sense of duty/obligation towards others.Feeling your own mortality. The wisdom that comes with life's boring little details. And.. the knowlegde that no matter how much we've experienced, life still has the ability to knock you for a major loop. =)

Stella

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 9

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:45:25 AM

BeatMeDaily

Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

immaturity is also putting down other people's views.

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 10

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:45:43 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 11

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:46:36 AM

QuietlySeeking

Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings Dnomyar

I guess first I would have to ask you to give me YOUR idea of what maturity is. Is it only having been married, raising a family, owning a home, having a job? ( I use these because they are the examples that you, yourself used ). So, please, explain first, what maturity means to YOU. And what constitutes being Mature in your eyes.

I wish you well

melissa

I can't answer for Dnomyar, but I will answer for myself.

I remember myself at 18-25. Those experiences that he listed are a good indicator of maturity simply because of the life experiences associated with all of those things. Realizing that the job you hold determines whether you eat, have a place to sleep, there is enough gas in your car to get you to and from said place to sleep and the job.

It's not just about fiscal responsibility, it's about realizing that you can't just quit your job just because something "bad" happens. It's about learning that there are more subjects that you know NOTHING about than subjects that you know something about; it's about learning the true costs of possessing *stuff*. And in the BDSM world, it's about learning what it takes to for the care, feeding, and well-being of another person (if you're a Dom side).

I'm not saying that someone in the 18-25 range can't be very mature for his/her age, but to say that the average 18-25 yo is as mature as the average 35-45 yo is a silly assumption. I was one of those people at 21 who was hanging out with a 25-35 yo crowd who forgot how young I was....until I showed through my inexperience how young I really was.

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 12

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:47:50 AM

BeatMeDaily

Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

yes, post your opinion here and have others "grade" it, nice, real nice.
self-appointed ding-a-ling

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 13

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:50:05 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

So why do people do it? If this is exactly what immaturity is - does that not mean that not one person is mature?

Defining maturity is difficult, simply because what one is mature in depends on the situation, not on a person as a whole. Some people try to define maturity as a concept, rather than something that just occurs and is more a description of age than sensibilities.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 14

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:50:58 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings Stella

I do not mean to offend with these questions, I am only trying to understand.

quote:

There's a subtle line between jaded and maturity. To me, maturity is having priorities well in order.. a sense of personal responsibility AND a sense of duty/obligation towards others.Feeling your own mortality. The wisdom that comes with life's boring little details. And.. the knowlegde that no matter how much we've experienced, life still has the ability to knock you for a major loop. =)

When I was a freshman in highschool, I knew a girl whose mother had passed away 3 years prior. She had 4 younger siblings; her father worked 2 jobs, one in the morning, one in the evening. Everyday, she got her brothers and sisters breakfast and off to school. Everyday, she came home, her and her siblings cleaned the house so their father would have a nice place to come home to; she made dinner for everyone and made sure homework was done, and baths were gotten. She put the younger ones to bed, did her own homework, laundry, and anything else that came up. She waited up every night for her father to come home so that she could spend just a small amount of time talking to him about school, boys, and anything else that cropped up. Amidst all of this, she managed to hang on to the A honor roll all through high school, managed 2 babysitting jobs in addition to watching her own siblings, received a basketball scholoarship to college.

For 4 years through high school, I watched her play grown up; she did a fine job of it too. Maturity only comes with age you say? And life experience? She was more mature than many that I see nowadays.

Maturity comes in many different packages. None will ever look the same.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 15

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:52:56 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlySeeking

I can't answer for Dnomyar, but I will answer for myself.

I remember myself at 18-25. Those experiences that he listed are a good indicator of maturity simply because of the life experiences associated with all of those things. Realizing that the job you hold determines whether you eat, have a place to sleep, there is enough gas in your car to get you to and from said place to sleep and the job.

It's not just about fiscal responsibility, it's about realizing that you can't just quit your job just because something "bad" happens. It's about learning that there are more subjects that you know NOTHING about than subjects that you know something about; it's about learning the true costs of possessing *stuff*. And in the BDSM world, it's about learning what it takes to for the care, feeding, and well-being of another person (if you're a Dom side).

I'm not saying that someone in the 18-25 range can't be very mature for his/her age, but to say that the average 18-25 yo is as mature as the average 35-45 yo is a silly assumption. I was one of those people at 21 who was hanging out with a 25-35 yo crowd who forgot how young I was....until I showed through my inexperience how young I really was.

Hello. =)

You know what's kind of funny? My 54 year old mother still views me as being a bit immature ( which, compared to her, I probably am ).. and my grandmother who lived to be 89 considered my grown MOTHER to be immature, lol. So it really never ends.

Maybe a hallmark of immaturity is being offended at somebody older asserting their age like that. Like.. at 18, I really bristled at at anybody who insinuated I was immature, but at 35... I realize it's just the cycle of things. ;)

(in reply to QuietlySeeking)

Post #: 16

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:53:55 AM

SirKinkster

Posts: 25
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

This I have to agree with A lot of ppl on here are immature and age has nothing to with it. yet I would find it impossible to belive a child of 18 had several years or experience at 18-24

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 17

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:54:19 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

self-appointed ding-a-ling

You're gonna go far here.
Not.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 18

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:56:00 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeatMeDaily

yes, post your opinion here and have others "grade" it, nice, real nice.
self-appointed ding-a-ling

oooo ding-a-ling ... that kind of has a good 'ring' to it... I like it!

Oh and if you cannot take critique maturely, it's really simple that an under 18 can read and understand it.

It's called, no posting.

But then you wouldn't get your say, and then what's the point of that?

People come to boards or talk out in public so they get their POV across. You can then have a mature or immature discussion - age irrelevant.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 19

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 6:20:22 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

Owning a home, having a job, having been or being married and having kids does not necessarily mean that one is mature. Nor does not having or doing those things make them immature. Maturity is being able to take responsibilties on and handling them. And I have seen plenty of adults that can't do that and plenty of teens coming out the gate that can. You may not want to give a younger person the benefit but I will until they show me otherwise.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 20

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