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Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:10:14 AM

ErusDespicienta

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Joined: 4/30/2007
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I'm trying to resolve a problem before I blow a fuse and maybe I am wrong wanting to blow a fuse, so lets find out shall we !

I sent flowers to a submissive who wants my collar.( this is real time btw) It was her birthday today ( no I would never divulge a womans age but since it might be relevent between 45 and 55).

I chose the arrangement, with a vase, from a book with pictures and ordered them to be delivered to her office. They were delivered in a timely fashion

.

She called me, left voice mail. that she had got them and how lovely they were. .ty. ty .ty. may I suck your cock Sir and all that good stuff. .I'm kidding on the BJ part. I made that up. .

I gave her a call back in my break,50 mins later, she told me she had called the florist and asked them to replace the flower arrangement because it was poorly arranged and she didn't like the vase. it was too boxy.or something, it wouldn't hold the flowers correctly. The florists. god bless them have replaced the arrangement and she is now happy. .BUT I am not!
I have not said anything to her as yet. I'm trying to engage brain before opening mouth.

I'm really curious to hear from anyone, who's interested, about what YOU would have done, how you would have handled the situation. Would you have done something different??

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You can't always get what you want but if try, sometimes, you might get what you need.~~ Rolling Stones

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:25:04 AM

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having done work with florists before i have just one thing to say:

not all the flowers or even the vases will be exactly what you see in the magazine, online, etc.; they substitute out some items due to availability, etc. and that may just been what happened here...

unless you were in the florist shop and picked the vase and flowers that way, it won't always be what you thought you ordered that was sent.

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:25:52 AM

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Wow- that would be a big flag to me that this might be someone who feels a little too entitled and not enugh grace. I can understand if she didn't love the arrangement- I've had ones that weren't fabulous or overly ripe, and I do NOT need yet another bud vase in my pantry thank you, but you appreciate the gift for what it is and making all the hassle of getting the florist to re-do another one seems excessive unless it really was just a mess.

At this point I'd say you could tell her that it concerns her that she went to all that trouble and ask if she's like this in other areas and keep watch in the future.

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(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:33:10 AM

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Well....unless the arrangement was a complete disaster, which is possible, I wouldn't have had any part of it replaced. I'm kinda sentimental that way, though, preferring to keep the original and enjoy the thought involved from the gift-giver. I do understand where you're coming from.

There's the possibility that the arrangement was poorly made and she was trying to make them "do right" by it, so you got your money's worth. It's not like she said she preferred another type or color of flower and had them replace a perfectly good arrangement. That would be rather shallow of her. We all know sending flowers anywhere isn't exactly cheap, and she might have felt she was doing it for YOU rather than for herself. Maybe the flowers WERE falling out of the boxy vase and she was trying to keep the arrangement as intact and attractive as possible? I mean, if she didn't care, she could have just let the flowers fall out and die... I mean, if you picked out top-heavy flowers and they were in a short, boxy vase, I can see where that might happen.

Some people consistently give gifts with the receipt tucked inside the box, fully expecting the recipient to exchange it for something they "really like". That may just be the custom in her family/circle of friends.

At least she thanked you profusely and it sounds as though she is very appreciative of the thought. My own opinion is not to make a big deal about this if this is the first time it's happened. But if starts to happen again, then it sounds like a subject that needs to be discussed.

At least the florist acted promptly to make her happy....and happy subs give the best BJ's

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(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:35:32 AM

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IMO that was rude and tactless of her. If for some reason I had had to swap out a gift of flowers I would have kept that information quiet unless something were drastically wrong (dead flowers or something lol). At the most, I would have said that 'they were of poor quality and do you mind if I replace them so that they last longer'?

A gift should be received with grace and thanks. Even if that sweater from Aunt Minni is an awful bile green

.

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(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:43:15 AM

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Tacky, in my opinion.
I would've been appreciative and figured that the sender trusted the florist enough to send me what he wanted me to have.

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RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:49:53 AM

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I view that as tacky.
Makes you wonder what she'll do with a collar that you pick out.

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:50:18 AM

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Personally, I would find her actions to be ungrateful and tell her so. If there are any repeated signs of such in the future or in our history, I would most likely kick her to the curb.

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(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:50:37 AM

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It is not something i would have done. if i don't like the arragment i rearrange it myself. It is a flag that she thanked you for them then had them re-done. it is like the ones you sent were not good enough for her. I would think its the thought that counts but she does not think that way.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 9:51:25 AM

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Did you order the flowers online or over the phone? If so, there is NO guarantee that what you ordered is what was sent. I've heard a lot of horror stories about people spending large amounts on flower arrangements that turned out, when delivered, to consist of three dead mums in a vase. Or something along those lines.

If what was delivered was fine when it arrived, and three hours later had started to die, then I think it was perfectly reasonable of her to insist on a replacement. And even if it wasn't, I don't see the problem, unless you tailored the arrangement specifically for her. She didn't expect YOU to fix it, she just told the florist it wasn't right, and the florist corrected things.

She was properly grateful, she handled the discrepancy personally, and she let you know about it, so she was honest. These seem like good qualities to me.

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RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 10:06:47 AM

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It really does depend upon why she felt she needed to return it. If what she received was damaged or flowers that were wilting or of poor quality, I can certainly see why she may wish to have them replaced. Even in that event though, she should have made you aware of the issues and allowed you to make the decision as to how to proceed from that point forward.

Returning your gift because she didn't like it is an entirely different thing. When I receive gifts from people it is the thought behind the gift that is far more important to me than the gift itself. Actually, I have a few pretty tacky things proudly displayed in my home because my children gave them to me when they were little....and they are some of my most treasured items.

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(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 10:59:20 AM

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Did you want to pay for a substandard item? Actually, she made sure that you got what you paid for. How awful of her.

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RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 11:01:32 AM

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There is definitely a need for more communication as to the why behind her actions. I do have to say that in my place if they were of poor quality I'd have snapped a pic with my camera phone and sent it to him so that he could see that the arrangement was really so bad that it should be replaced. I could definitely see being really happy over the gesture but at the same time knowing what was sent was of such poor quality that the person sending them never intended me to get a wilted arrangement that fell apart the same day. My advice would be to just talk to her about it. We can guess but we really don't know.

(edited because I re-read his post and he picked the arrangement out of a book...)

< Message edited by smilingjaguar -- 5/4/2007 11:03:39 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 11:46:35 AM

ErusDespicienta

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/30/2007
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Wow such abundant responses. Thank you so much.
I deliberately kept the story simple, to try to keep the answers simple and I think it worked.

There obviously is more to the story.~~

I asked her what she wanted for her birthday. I was told. ."Flowers at my work".
(I actually did get her gift as well and if that gift had not been right..I would have understood.)
They were ordered on the phone directly with a flower shop that I know she likes.
She loved the flowers and insisted they stay.
She hated the vase, which I chose and insisted it was replaced.
She felt the greenery had been cut off too short, whatever that means lol
She did tell me she was trying to make sure I got my moneies worth.

The reason I wanted to blow a fuse was because it seemed ungrateful to me and now I'm damn sure it was!
Didn't someone say " It's the thought that counts".
All I wanted to hear was ty for the flowers.

Thankyou E/everyone. .this has been very insightful.

_____________________________

You can't always get what you want but if try, sometimes, you might get what you need.~~ Rolling Stones

(in reply to smilingjaguar)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 11:54:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ErusDespicienta

She felt the greenery had been cut off too short, whatever that means lol

It means either the greenery was cut so short it was having problems reaching the water....in which case they'd die. Or it means that the too short greenery had leaves below the water line which causes the water to go funky and the flowers will die.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 12:11:26 PM

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I can see why you're in danger of blowing that fuse. The bigger question is whether this sort of behavior is a one-time incident or something she makes a habit of? Either way I would strongly recommend sitting down with her and having a discussion about it, not about what exactly was done but what the motivations behind it were. You have a good situation here to teach her about thankfulness and gift giving, and it will only improve if you make your feelings known to her. Good luck.

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 12:14:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ErusDespicienta

Didn't someone say " It's the thought that counts".
All I wanted to hear was ty for the flowers.

Unless I'm mistaken, your op says that she called you up and said thank you, thank you, thank you. So you did get that.

If it were me, I would have wandered over to the florist myself and asked them to change the vase. Yes you say that you chose it, but she didn't know that. All she knew was that the vase didn't fit the flowers. I'm sure that had she known, she would have taken the vase home and switched the flowers into a different one.

And maybe next time ask the florist's advice about which vase for which flowers.

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 12:25:15 PM

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quote:

She loved the flowers and insisted they stay.

This seems a little ungrateful to me. Yes she loved them, but whats with the 'insisted'? If she hadn;t - would they have gone back too?

quote:

She hated the vase, which I chose and insisted it was replaced.

That was really rude. You chose the vase. That was very ungrateful IMO.

quote:

She felt the greenery had been cut off too short, whatever that means lol
She did tell me she was trying to make sure I got my moneies worth.

These are valid points. If she had returned to complain, that is a different thing altogether. It may have been a good idea to try and contact you first, but sometimes that just isn't possible.

But the whole returning the vase thing because she didnt like it seems really inconsiderate towards you. Its your choice, your decision after all.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 12:27:56 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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tacky, thoughtless, inconsiderate, unappreciative are a few words that come to mind after reading what she did however (and more importantly) she lied while gushing over the phone to you with her "thank-yous". she wasn't really up front about her true feelings about the arrangement - i personally would rather hear the honest truth about something than being lied to my face.

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RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/4/2007 12:50:45 PM

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If that'd happened to me, I'd have gotten seriously offended. Its not supposed to be perfect, its about the thought, and your Dom giving you a gift, that's all that matters. I'd have gotten really upset. But then again, I'm an emotional person.

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)

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