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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:25:35 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Hey Bita, I've lost track of all the places you and the Man have lived. Was this in Costa Rica or Afghanistan?

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:26:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Perhaps for you, and others, but not everyone.

I think that's what many folks from all sides of this debate are saying - that it's different for everyone. And then some folks are saying nope, it's the same way for everyone and anyone who thinks differently than that is wrong. I mean seriously, the things I was called for stating a different view (I believe all of which have been removed by the mods) were pretty outlandish. So while you and I might believe it's different for various people, not everyone's buying it. I'm glad, however, that you're not the recipient of hostility that was exhibited earlier (not that you'd care if you were).

In any case, I agree with you.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:27:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JWriter

all the good mental, spiritual and social aspects of BDSM.

All I know is that when I go to a BDSM personals site and write emails while pictures of a girls dripping cum from their mouths and taking large dildos up the ass scroll down in the right hand column, I think to myself "God, I am so happy to be part of this non-sexual, mentally, spiritually and socially enriched lifestyle".

Edited to Add: And when I go to a historical lecture on Leather culture and get to look at slides of pictures from 30 years ago of some gay man fisting another gay man up the ass, I also think "Wow, how even more non-sexual, mentally, spiritually, and socially enriched things were back then..."

< Message edited by DecadentDesire -- 8/3/2011 3:31:48 PM >

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:33:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Hey Bita, I've lost track of all the places you and the Man have lived. Was this in Costa Rica or Afghanistan?

We hooked up after the good old days. It's only been 15 years for us. He was in New York and I was in California (San Francisco area).. two of the very last areas of the country to see any growth in BDSM dontcha know.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:45:27 PM

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quote:

Removing sex from BDSM is akin to cutting the roots of a tree

Why do people insist that it's always sexual? It may be sexual for you, it may be sexual for the person standing next to you/across from you; that does not mean that it's sexual for the person standing behind you.

I am a masochist. A hard core masochist. My late husband was a sadist. He got off on making me cry from pain; literally. However, we did NOT participate in sex after. It was not about having sex or about it being sexual in any way. It was about both of us letting off steam by means of violence. There is nothing sexual in violence at it's barest form. For a lot of people, there is absolutely nothing sexual in being caned/or doing the caning, etc etc. It's all about the feelings DURING, not about what happens after.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:48:39 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Hey Bita, I've lost track of all the places you and the Man have lived. Was this in Costa Rica or Afghanistan?

We hooked up after the good old days. It's only been 15 years for us. He was in New York and I was in California (San Francisco area).. two of the very last areas of the country to see any growth in BDSM dontcha know.

So BDSM finally made it to California huh. Last I heard there was talk about sending some settlers. ~sighs~ I miss those days. Remember when the electricity was generated by subbies on treadmills?

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:49:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire
Why, just the other day, I was feeling a little randy and I went up to a woman and said...

"Baby, I am in the mood to pass on my genes and ensure the survival of our species!"

She replied, "I'm not really in the mood. I have a headache!"

What was I to do? I couldn't let that pass. I have strong genes that need to be shared and returned to the genetic pool! So I said...

"Woman, you are a goddamn failure in terms of genetics! What would Mother Nature say about you and your selfish existence, hording all of your genes, refusing to pass them on??"

She cried, but that's ok. We had great missionary style sex!

Oh, the joys of a life of "pure truth", devoid of any greater spiritual and deeper meaning to my actions, living only to inseminate the females around me for the sake of my specie's survival. It's so great to be enlightened and to see everything for what it really is!

Good times....good times....

While I am fairly sure you meant this to be satire, you pretty much nailed it. This is the basis of all flirtation. We may use different words, but this is always what is going on....

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to DecadentDesire)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:49:44 PM

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Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Removing sex from BDSM is akin to cutting the roots of a tree

Why do people insist that it's always sexual? It may be sexual for you, it may be sexual for the person standing next to you/across from you; that does not mean that it's sexual for the person standing behind you.

I am a masochist. A hard core masochist. My late husband was a sadist. He got off on making me cry from pain; literally. However, we did NOT participate in sex after. It was not about having sex or about it being sexual in any way. It was about both of us letting off steam by means of violence. There is nothing sexual in violence at it's barest form. For a lot of people, there is absolutely nothing sexual in being caned/or doing the caning, etc etc. It's all about the feelings DURING, not about what happens after.

Just out of curiosity....are you now in any relationship where you receive that hard core pain and then do have sex afterwards?
I'm curious if the answer is yes, which you prefer? Sex or no sex?

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:53:00 PM

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quote:

Just out of curiosity....are you now in any relationship where you receive that hard core pain and then do have sex afterwards?
I'm curious if the answer is yes, which you prefer? Sex or no sex?

No, I am not in a relationship like that now. Now a days, I go to my basement and pound on a bag that hangs there until I can't feel the pain anymore. Quite honestly, there are not too many out there...Sadists/Dominants I mean...who are willing to go as far as I need in that regard. And, because of the way that I am...I do not play with strangers, ever.

As to the second part, honestly, after a good hard beating, I prefer no sex. For me, it's about feeling pain and nothing more.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:08:41 PM

Punkt

Posts: 47
Joined: 6/11/2011
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Get 10 partners in the same location and have sex with them for a couple of weeks.
Get one partner and do the things that you like to do without removing clothes for one hour.
Which one gives you more pleasure?

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:18:05 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

I am a masochist.

and therefore experience pain as a pleasurable experience.

if you find something as pleasurable, then it is serving a need.

all needs are subservient to the need to fuck.

your masochism is merely a reflection of how you fuck

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:30:38 PM

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quote:

and therefore experience pain as a pleasurable experience.

On the contrary. I am one of those odd masochists who do not find pleasure in pain. I like pain for pain's sake because IT HURTS. That is why I seek it. Not because I find pleasure in it.

However, you are correct in the aspect that it does serve a need within me.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:43:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
It's the exceptions that prove the rule.

False logic. Your statement was specifically "BDSM is always about sex". I'm merely pointing out that, while that may be true for some of the people all of the time, or maybe all of the people some of the time, it isn't true for all of the people all of the time.

What an excellent, and well argued point.

However, I said BDSM is always about sex. I said nothing about individual sessions. The whole is always the sum of its parts. While your re-statement of P T Barnum is accurate to the best of my knowledge, it does not change my hypothesis.

It is possible that rarely, a session occurs that has no sex overtones. I cannot imagine one, but I will accept the hypothesis that it could happen. It does not occur often enough to change anything. It is mathematically possible for a pig to fly.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to RapierFugue)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:44:08 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

I like pain for pain's sake because IT HURTS.

whatever, i'm not going to parse every word of every post. i'm a masochist, pain hurts, i like the way it hurts. i derive pleasure from being hurt.

you want to explain away that you like being hurt by saying it doesn't feel good. go ahead. the fact is you like it. deny to your heart's content, but you like being subjected to pain. it feels good to be hurt.

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 8/3/2011 4:46:42 PM >

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:48:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
You guys crack me up. One person says "spirituality", another says "deeper meaning", someone else says "a thing of beauty and joy", and then the last one says "primal instincts". What are you quibbling about, you all believe exactly the same thing. Quit your arguing and go fuck, hit each other with things, and then crawl in bed next to the person that you love. Call it by whatever name most suits you.

pam

LOL!! Well said! Okay

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:59:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I, personally, believe I have a spirit, and my relationship with that spirit/soul/core/whatever makes me spiritual in my personal operation. It's not a problem for me that others disagree (to the point of name calling, no less) because I'm comfortable with my beliefs.....

...So, for me, life is more than a quest to procreate. Others may not feel the same. If this makes me Castle-Realmy, hey I can live with that. I like my little world, and I like that some of the ideas presented by others makes me think a bit more. Maybe I'm totally wrong, after all. Maybe I'm not. Maybe it doesn't matter! It's been an interesting and enlightening discussion, no less.

I have no problem with spirituality. Some of us think that it is just a manifestation of a more primal drive, that's all. None of us really has any answers, but it has indeed been a most excellent discussion.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:02:09 PM

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It's mostly a personal preference, but I am surprised that some people think that even physical, sensual S&M must include sex to be rewarding. I'm not denying that many (perhaps most) aspects of physical BDSM - pain, bondage, humiliation - while not necessarily directly sexual, they create sexual feelings, reactions. But for many, that's a side effect (or side "bonus") but not the end-all, be-all of BDSM.

I was doing S&M (in the form of bondage, pain, humiliation) for some time before ever having my first orgasm, and even longer before having sexual intercourse. I was playing elaborate bondage games combined with roleplay and foreplay - but no sex - purely for the satisfaction of S&M. Getting "hot and wet" was a mere side effect and not of much consequence at the time - other than wondering, wow, what the hell is going on with my body?

To this day, I can have highly enjoyable (and fully clothed, yes) BDSM encounters that give me an absolute rush that rivals the intense pleasure of physical orgasm - but not have sex. In fact, in many ways, the BDSM "femdom mind orgasm" is more coveted because it cannot be achieved alone (ie with a vibrator), I need a living, breathing partner to surrender. When it's good, it creates the same mindblowing, toe curling shivers of a good orgasm, but is different at the same time.

S&M still makes me incredibly wet. More than any kind of traditional foreplay. Oddly enough though, that kind of wetness does not lead to aching arousal which demands sexual intercourse and/or physical orgasm - sure, it's a natural next step or concurrent step, but not my priority. When I'm doing good S&M, my mind is thinking about good S&m. Orgasms or sexual release or intercourse following - it's a negotiable "bonus". But if I engage in traditional foreplay and get "wet" from it, my brain is all about the orgasm - and only the orgasm - and to stop short of that would be aggravating. Wet from BDSM? Then I want more BDSM.

Akasha

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:05:22 PM

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quote:

All I know is that when I go to a BDSM personals site and write emails while pictures of a girls dripping cum from their mouths and taking large dildos up the ass scroll down in the right hand column, I think to myself "God, I am so happy to be part of this non-sexual, mentally, spiritually and socially enriched lifestyle".

(in reply to DecadentDesire)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:08:36 PM

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quote:

S&M still makes me incredibly wet. More than any kind of traditional foreplay. Oddly enough though, that kind of wetness does not lead to aching arousal which demands sexual intercourse and/or physical orgasm - sure, it's a natural next step or concurrent step, but not my priority. When I'm doing good S&M, my mind is thinking about good S&m. Orgasms or sexual release or intercourse following - it's a negotiable "bonus".

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:22:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
There are actually some of us out there who after a very satisfying 'session', want nothing at all to do with sex. For some of us, it's all about the feelings that occur while we are getting our asses kicked...once the kicking is over, we are done and want nothing more to do with the person who did the kicking

...a very satisfying session!! Hmmm... Oddly, after sex, I want nothing to do with sex for a while. What a strange coincidence.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to IrishMist)

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