RE: Is It Really All About Sex?

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:55:20 AM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
you're misunderstanding tmb, the fact that life is a wonderful thing full of beauty and joy, has nothing whatsoever to do with the biological purpose of life. that is to sustain itself. the only reason you were born is to pass on your dna. that's why we all were born. the urge to perpetuate the species is at the root of all human, and animal for that matter, motivations and behaviours.

YES!!!!

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:03:36 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

You miss the point. The only purpose of ANY sexually reproducing species is to feed, fuck and have babies. Any species that did not have this as its prime directive died out years ago.

Apart from a species that's terminally cute, like Pandas - they don't seem to want to fuck much :)

I read this very funny article a while back, where some biologist was talking about Pandas and how crap they were, and how they were the end of their particular genetic branch. That wasn't that good - what was great was the reply from another biologist, who postulated that the giant Panda was, in fact, the pinnacle of its own sort of natural selection; it had evolved to be so cute that another, more intelligent, dominant and usually aggressive species at the top of the food chain, i.e. man, had looked at it and instead of chopping it up for meat and fur, as is usually the way with man, had just gone "awwwwww ... look at the ickle panda!" and thus the Panda then didn't have to faff about gathering food anymore, but instead just sat on its fat duff in a very roomy, pleasant enclosure, while people ran around after it 24/7, bringing it food, and a choice of mates :)

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:11:47 AM

DecadentDesire

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Why, just the other day, I was feeling a little randy and I went up to a woman and said...

"Baby, I am in the mood to pass on my genes and ensure the survival of our species!"

She replied, "I'm not really in the mood. I have a headache!"

What was I to do? I couldn't let that pass. I have strong genes that need to be shared and returned to the genetic pool! So I said...

"Woman, you are a goddamn failure in terms of genetics! What would Mother Nature say about you and your selfish existence, hording all of your genes, refusing to pass them on??"

She cried, but that's ok. We had great missionary style sex!

Oh, the joys of a life of "pure truth", devoid of any greater spiritual and deeper meaning to my actions, living only to inseminate the females around me for the sake of my specie's survival. It's so great to be enlightened and to see everything for what it really is!

Good times....good times....

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:16:55 AM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon
I would also like to add this: Humans being a sentient species, that is a big reason why people here (and in other threads containing similar subject matter) are answering this question taking into account mostly intellectual factors, not looking at the biological factors. We are already aware of the influence of our biology as hard fact, so when asked a question pointed at something that takes into account personal opinion, we answer it from the intellectual/personal standpoint.

You make many good points. However, from their responses, many are apparently not aware of the biological directive.

Lets face it. Intellectuality is at best a paper thin veneer coating a mountain of evolution. M/s, D/s, S/M, polygamy and so on all exist in the animal kingdom, so have no need of intellect.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:26:10 AM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
I can think of several sessions I've given that didn't have anything at all to do with sex.

If you can think of several sessions that didn't have anything to do with sex, does that imply that you can think of many sessions that did? It's the exceptions that prove the rule.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:35:42 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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FR...At this stage of my life its all about sex and pleasure..my contributions to man kind has been 4 beautiful daughters how ever raven called me from work to tell me that she has missed and shes all ways on time..its it wonderful how ol' mother nature goes to great length to trick us smile..b

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:40:42 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

If you can think of several sessions that didn't have anything to do with sex, does that imply that you can think of many sessions that did?

Of course.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
It's the exceptions that prove the rule.

False logic. Your statement was specifically "BDSM is always about sex". I'm merely pointing out that, while that may be true for some of the people all of the time, or maybe all of the people some of the time, it isn't true for all of the people all of the time.

< Message edited by RapierFugue -- 8/3/2011 7:13:02 AM >

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:46:49 AM

gungadin09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
you're misunderstanding tmb, the fact that life is a wonderful thing full of beauty and joy, has nothing whatsoever to do with the biological purpose of life. that is to sustain itself. the only reason you were born is to pass on your dna. that's why we all were born. the urge to perpetuate the species is at the root of all human, and animal for that matter, motivations and behaviours.

You have it backwards. The fact that we were only born to pass on our DNA has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that life is a wonderful thing full of beauty and joy. Is the urge to procreate the driving force behind all human behavior? Of course. Does that make the human experience any less meaningful? Not in my book.

You guys crack me up. One person says "spirituality", another says "deeper meaning", someone else says "a thing of beauty and joy", and then the last one says "primal instincts". What are you quibbling about, you all believe exactly the same thing. Quit your arguing and go fuck, hit each other with things, and then crawl in bed next to the person that you love. Call it by whatever name most suits you.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 8/3/2011 7:06:35 AM >

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 7:12:04 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I'll answer your questions, Hannah. I do it because it brings me inner joy and that joy fulfills me spiritually. It's not a sexual drive, although my sexuality is a part of it. It's just more encompassed than that. The fulfillment is deeper than my sexuality. It exceeds it.

All creatures have one and only one need, the need to survive. When the first animal came along survival meant the need for food. When the first animal that bred sexually came along, survival added the need to procreate. Other basic motivations, like pain and fear, came later when animals gained nervous systems and the ability to think.

The need to survive, feed and breed. They are build into our brains at the lowest level. It does not go any deeper than that. Things you consider deep, like love and spirituality, are shallow recent constructs built upon our need to survive in some way and usually have sexual connotations..

We are complex creatures. Sometimes our wiring gets mixed up and or basic needs show up in weird ways. However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

First, wowee, the cleanup crew came in last night! With 2 pages of posts deleted, some of my posts look like I'm talking to myself, which wouldn't be the first time, of course lol.

I find it fascinating that one word - spirituality - caused such a stir. But the way I see it, telling someone they're absolutely and factually wrong for believing they have a spirit and that it's that spirit which drives them is on par with some of the bible thumpers who insist anyone who doesn't believe in certain religious entities is wrong and going to hell. We all have our beliefs, and I think it's been proven time and again that arguing about right and wrong when it comes to such strong beliefs is futile. We're unlikely to change anyone's mind, which is why people often just agree to disagree.

I, personally, believe I have a spirit, and my relationship with that spirit/soul/core/whatever makes me spiritual in my personal operation. It's not a problem for me that others disagree (to the point of name calling, no less) because I'm comfortable with my beliefs.

I still believe that what drives people is not just the drive to procreate, however. People can disagree with that; it's their right. Viktor Frankle wrote, in "Man's Search for Meaning" of his experiences in Auschwitz, of his belief that the only reason he survived in a room full of men who died of starvation around him, was due to his need to fulfill a purpose in life - and it wasn't procreation. Endless books have been written on the topic of purposeful lives and the human quest for happiness and fulfillment. Endless books have been written on Sex Magik, which I'm not well versed on myself, but which also give examples of experiences which go beyond the need to procreate.

We all believe what we believe based on our experiences and what we've learned along the way. My beliefs are not intended to minimize anyone else's beliefs, nor will I criticize others for believing what they do. I simply find our differences fascinating, and our reactions to those who believe differently equally fascinating.

So, for me, life is more than a quest to procreate. Others may not feel the same. If this makes me Castle-Realmy, hey I can live with that. I like my little world, and I like that some of the ideas presented by others makes me think a bit more. Maybe I'm totally wrong, after all. Maybe I'm not. Maybe it doesn't matter!

It's been an interesting and enlightening discussion, no less.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 7:25:20 AM

81song

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My take on it it is so much more then sex in a way. Its all about the details and that is why I enjoy D/s. So yes it is about sex but oh so much more. I think I will spend my lifetime learning and that is something that draws me to this.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 8:42:24 AM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

And if you DO take that stance that sex is not ever a spiritual experience, that's fine. I'll just think it's sad that you've not ever experienced that particular gift.

don't be sad on our behalf, it's not like we haven't had the same experiences, it's just that we're realists and don't need to make up layers and layers of bullshit fantasy to explain away what really happened - a really good fuck.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:11:14 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

Wow. Talk about a shitstorm. I should probably not get involved because I hate this sort of thing, but my inner psychology geek is kicking me to respond, so here goes.

Great post, thanks for getting involved!

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:14:42 AM

GreedyTop

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oops.. forgto to add the ~FR~

12 whole posts and you know their entire posting history, and the motivations behind them? wow.. impressive.

/impressed

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 8/3/2011 10:15:24 AM >

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:21:49 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

Nope. Sorry. Have to disagree.

There are actually some of us out there who after a very satisfying 'session', want nothing at all to do with sex. For some of us, it's all about the feelings that occur while we are getting our asses kicked...once the kicking is over, we are done and want nothing more to do with the person who did the kicking

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:35:04 AM

ThatsMissBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

Nope. Sorry. Have to disagree.

There are actually some of us out there who after a very satisfying 'session', want nothing at all to do with sex. For some of us, it's all about the feelings that occur while we are getting our asses kicked...once the kicking is over, we are done and want nothing more to do with the person who did the kicking

To me that is what makes a good play partner. You play hard have fun and there are no ties sexually.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:47:50 AM

ThatsMissBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I do it because it brings me inner joy and that joy fulfills me spiritually. It's not a sexual drive, although my sexuality is a part of it. It's just more encompassed than that. The fulfillment is deeper than my sexuality. It exceeds it.

There are a lot of people that lean this way NuevaVida. When I scene with people it is like a dance. It is spiritual and there is nothing to compare the intense energy exchange. Sex is just sex. It is in a file of its own where I am concerned.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:52:30 AM

LaTigresse

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As I stated before and it seemed to go *poof* .........BDSM can be about sex, but it isn't all the time. I can get great pleasure from hurting someone and get zero sexual thrill out of it.

If I am sexually attracted to the person, it will likely be a sexual thrill. If I am repulsed by the very idea of sex with the person, no sexual thrill at all.

I am a sadist, I do not have to be sexually attracted to someone to enjoy hurting them. The joy of hurting someone does not always trigger a sexual reaction in me.

Some people 'get that' some people don't. C'est la vie!

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 11:07:03 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

There are a lot of people that lean this way NuevaVida. When I scene with people it is like a dance. It is spiritual and there is nothing to compare the intense energy exchange. Sex is just sex. It is in a file of its own where I am concerned.

I understand but keep in mind, I wasn't talking about scening and sex, I was referring to "it" as in my relationship. Sex and kink is part of that relationship, but not the whole. I didn't interpret the OP as asking about kink specifically. Maybe that's where my mix up was. When asked what we get out of "it," I was still referring to my entire relationship when I said "joy."

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 11:11:01 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

oops.. forgto to add the ~FR~

lol, in this case I would have totally known it was a FR!

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 12:33:12 PM

GreedyTop

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should I get all butthurt that tmb has ignored my last couple of responses to her?

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