RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy?

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 4/10/2014 10:10:44 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I am with the first person I ever played with or submitted to. We're going on 12 years now.
So yes, it can be done.

The difference here is that we both had done enough self work to know ourselves, to know what was a must have, what was a deal breaker, what could be compromised. And we determined compatibility through long, exhaustive conversations. In other words, we didn't jump into things with the first person. We took our time to find the right person.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 4/10/2014 10:40:36 PM

budda1488

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/19/2014
Status: offline

I think that is awesome. I love a long lasting relationship. One day mine will come.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 4/12/2014 6:21:09 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I notice there is much thought over my marriage. let me ask this how many of you are with the first person that introduced you into this lifestyle? and did anyone think that maybe it wasn't me as to the reason we aren't together?

While I'd always enjoyed rough sex and bondage, I found out about BDSM as a lifestyle online and explored it with my then husband. We were married 18 years.

I believe the thoughts about your marriage is that its short duration may be related to the problems you are currently having picking women. You don't seem to pick keepers.

A few years ago, I noticed I was in a rut of picking narcissists, sought therapy for this, and am now with a keeper.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 4/26/2014 6:51:34 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: budda1488

why is it so hard to find a slave who can handle the blessings i give through the paddle or whatever? I have needs also.

Law of large numbers.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 6/7/2014 5:48:39 PM

slaveoubliette

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2014
Status: offline

good question... are you experienced in multiply or single slaves. There is an added component when discussing this with more than one slave in the household

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 7/28/2014 9:12:37 AM

EmberRose93

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/28/2014
Status: offline

Maybe you're having problems because you define "won't/can't do whatever I want" as greedy

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 7/28/2014 1:29:07 PM

slavekate80

Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmberRose93

Maybe you're having problems because you define "won't/can't do whatever I want" as greedy

There are some who will follow to the maximum best of their ability no matter what the orders are and don't consider refusal an option, but that's not so common.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 7/28/2014 4:17:18 PM

CloakedProtector

Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2007
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OP, I think the problem is one of expectation.

There is no 'quantification' for you or for the sub/slave to upfront say how much they can handle in terms of applied force per surface (N/m²).
People don't pro-actively measure it and hence they use alternatives such as 'not much', 'normal', 'a lot' etc while that is subjective and may mean something different for everyone.

Next come safe words. That is a "what can one handle by example" approach. Go ahead and I'll tell you when my limit is reached.
When someone said they can handle a lot and they use their safe word at a moment where you think you just started then expectations are not met.

Next, you expect that when you are willing to respect the safe word (which for you is what you called - willing to go slow - in a previous reply) the sub should be willing to surpass herself and let you go over her limit by means of compensation to satisfy your needs (as you called them).

And that is where the reasoning goes sour. The sub/slave is at the limit, you respecting that limit must not be compensated by the sub/slave agreeing in going over the limit.
Your needs are not satisfied because one told you she could handle a lot and a lot for her wasn't a lot for you. So the expectation aren't met.
That is the essence that made you say they are greedy (=they expect you to respect the limit but do not in some way compensate so that your needs get met too).

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 10/22/2014 1:10:38 PM

RebeccaR

Posts: 21
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline

I don't have a master but I admit to being a nympho and sexually greedy.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 10/31/2014 6:16:34 AM

SweetnStormySub

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/21/2012
From: Buckeye State
Status: offline

I think you chose this room to perhaps garner the attention and possible interest of subs/slaves.

Six pages I have read of excellent advice from across the BDSM spectrum and mostly you respond with sarcasm or denial.

So, here is my two cents: you are an idiot. A player, a wannabe bad ass misogynist (it's in the dictionary, cupcake). You should be avoided at all costs because your ignorance and distorted ego will eventually cause some unwitting s type damage. And let's throw in low-rent as well, as evidenced by your oh-so elegant hand gesture.

To my fellow R/roomies here: I am sorry for the vitriol, but this one's stormy side just had to respond.

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RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? - 11/4/2014 2:24:01 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: budda1488

yes i do but I give for them and I would expect them to also give for me, at times when i need. I believe it is 2 sided i submit and by that I mean i go softer for them when they need it and i expect them to do the same when i need it. otherwise I look at it as greedy

That you go softer than you like when they want does not mean that you can go harder than they like when you want. That is not quite how the dynamic works.

It is your job to learn how to take them as far as they can go, and to teach them to be able to go farther if they can. You are right that the relationship, like every relationship, is a two way street, but in the master/slave scenario, you each have very different roles and different responsibilities.

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