Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005 Status: offline
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I didn't watch your video, but I'll field your question. To make the point I'll tell you this : there are two sides to just about anythiong in life. Now consider : Ignorance is bliss. Just think of the flipside of that. Really, that is what it is. The more I know the more I am ready to go out in a blaze of glory. But that is not insanity, not yet. The insanity comes because there is no clear target, nobody to hit to make things better, in fact anything that could be done would be counterproductive. After what I said about McVeigh, don't expect anything from me. I am not doing anything. There is nothing I can do. Even if Bush and I were in a room alone and I had a gun, do you want Cheney for President ? Get it ? That is the worst kind of stress, things that have no solution. The genius personality seeks always to solve problems, that is how they get to be a genius. A certain amount of emotional detachment must occur for the genius to maintain some semblence of sanity, and that is precisely where the insanity comes in. This detachment is difficult to control, and impossible for some. If you have any significant degree of empathy for humanity, and you know too much, it is a hard road. I don't need to watch your video, I live. Why are monsters hailed as heroes ? Because they do drastic things. Hitler was a hero to the German People in the 1930s because he did drastic things. He told the French to stick it up their ass and then invaded them. When you need a wheelbarrel full of money to buy a postage stamp, perhaps it is time for drastic action. Those who we would typically call sane will not do such things. Perhaps the founding Fathers of this country were insane. What 'sane' people tell you to do is vote and change comes from within. But they are not genius caliber. Smart people know better, that we need better candidates. I have said it before, we need to get into the process of choosing candidates, rather than letting big money do it. A genius will look for the root of a problem rather than a quick fix, but when the root of the problem is nested in the past, before any of us were born, the problem looks insurmountable, and it is. Indeed it is. And that is why I am crazy. I don't go postal (notice how that term is unique to the US) because of two reasons. First of all it does no good. And second of all I kinda like my life the way it is. I like my beer and other things, I have good friends and things that money cannot buy. Not that I have any more. All I know is that at this point in time I'll keep my life. It is not perfect, but it is mine. I do not call myself a genius, but I think I can understand. When you come across someone like me, don't antagonize him. With all my self control and everything that could be considered virtuous about me, a couple weeks ago I put my fist through a solid wood door. I don't mean the cheap $39 kind. And I am not that strong, I just know how to throw it. I was just under incredible pressure and people were not cooperating. A genius needs some measure of control over his environment. Take that away, usually insanity will follow shortly. And, even though I regained my composure, my friends, the truth is that I am slowly losing it. I really am. I hardly work anymore, I can't take it. Losing a hundred and whatever bucks every day I take off, and gaining the ire of my employer. There are days when I know I can't handle it. "Gimme the biggest fucking hammer in this place". I could see it now. I don't know what to say or do anymore, there is no solution. For someone like me it is suffocating. And that is why I am not afraid to die. It would be a welcome rest. I am also curious about what is on the other side, if anything, but when the simple fact that it will be over becomes enticing, watch out. Now get your head out of Webster's and think about more subtle definitions of words. An insane person has thoughts and feeling not experienced by normal people. What of a genius ? The insane do things, or do things in a way normal people do not, again, what about the genius ? It is like the similarity of the words 'motor' and 'engine'. The dictionary doesn't really give you much on the difference, just as it doesn't point out the similarity between insanity and genius. If you like I can point out the difference between a motor and an engine. And I can point out the similarity between insanity and genius. I think I have. A genius in some cases thinks of the body of knowledge he has as a pyramid, or a lattice, like a crystal structure. If you have a good solid base, the body of knowledge can grow easily. If you do not, growth is inhibited. With existing knowledge you either accept or reject new information. It is either 'I don't buy that', or 'Hmmmm'. If one makes the right decisions, the knowledge base grows. If one accepts the wrong 'facts' and tries to incorporate them, thing go wrong. Then there are people with perverse desires. Sexual predators, voyeurs, compulsives, even grifters have perverse desires. One can have a perverse desire for money. One must be a genius to achieve the goal, which is to satisfy the desire. Serial killers operate for years before getting caught, they can't do this if they are stupid. And it has been said that they fuck up on purpose and get caught. Perhaps there is just a little slice of morality in them, and it eventually catches up. Other times it is just that shit happens. Even when that is the case, alot of them start confessing and solve all kinds of mysteries. There is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I might not be a genius, but I am not stupid. I know how fucked up the world is. I don't like it. Even problems that should've been left at work run through my head. I need intoxicants simply to slow down. To slow down your thoughts is akin to being able to look at them in a magnifying glass. Also intoxicants allow one to think and act like normal people for a time. We know those problems are there in the morning after, but a temporary break, a vacation of a few hours is enough sometimes to maintain one's apparent sanity. But I am indeed insane. I just control it. When I see a high powered weapon or explosive device I think 'what could I do with this ?', but in reality, the answer is nothing. There is no viable target. There is no target, even if I could destroy it completely, that would do We The People any good. It is always counterproductive. So there is no solution at this time. That is a living hell. Maybe I'll watch your video later, but I don't see the point in it. I am actually getting to the point where I do not want to know any more. Man's inhumanity to Man is getting quite overwhelming. The problem comes when you start to really care. Live my hell for a day and I bet you wind up in a straitjacket. And I don't mean playtime. T
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