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"Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:17:35 PM

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Good evening everyone,

I am certain that this topic has been discussed sometime in the past, but I just have to bring it up.
For some reason today I came across at least 2-3 profiles that refered to submission as a "gift". I disagree, and wanted to know what others think.

When someone refers to submission as a gift... it almost makes it sound as if they are doing their Dominant a favor by submitting to them. I always thought that submision was a need that some people experience, a need that they are driven to fulfill. You are not obligated to submit, nor are you doing anyone a favor by acting on your needs and desires.

Both dominants and submissive have needs and desires that they fulfill within a relationship. One is not doing the other one a favor and vice versa.

I just had to get this out.

Have a great day everyone!

aleksandra

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:24:43 PM

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I don't see anything wrong with a Dominant feeling as though he has received a gift, or a submissive feeling as though she has given a gift if they both choose to feel that way. Everyone is always free to perceive it any way they wish to.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mpnaleksandra2)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:27:58 PM

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I am sure that if the arrangement works for both... it must be right, for them.

I consider this my rant of the day.

(in reply to windchymes)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:30:32 PM

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I tend to see the term associated with people who seem to think by calling themselves Dominant everyone should call them Sir/Miss which is total crap in my opinion, obviously there are differant vews on this, obviously Gor springs to mind. However though i never refer to my submission as a gift i do think it is something that i dont just instantly hand over to just anyone, there is without a doubt an almost transaction involved when you become willing to submit totally.

(in reply to windchymes)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:41:20 PM

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From: Scranton, PA
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I think that anyone who uses the term "gift of submission" deserves the "gift" of getting fucked up the ass.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 6/6/2007 5:43:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to mpnaleksandra2)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:41:57 PM

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(bending over) Gift of submission

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:43:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I think that anyone who uses the term "gift of submission" deserves the gift of getting fucked up the ass.

i hadn't before, but i will now use the term as often as possible......

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife

it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:46:03 PM

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LOL!

Ok, girls, lemme go get some ribbon so I can tie a bow on my gift.

heh

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:49:00 PM

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This is too funny!

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:49:59 PM

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The need to submit is no greater then the need to dominate.

I view my submission as something I give to him, just as I view his dominance as something he gives to me. It's not a phrase I use but I do regard it this exchange as something special that is being given to each other. The phrase may be overused but the sentiment, that what a dominant has received is something precious, is not out of line to my way of thinking.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mpnaleksandra2)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:52:40 PM

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Time's a wasting HP. I must have said "gift of submission" at least five times in the past two minutes. You better bring some vitamins...it's gonna be a long night!

Perhaps, lilsub will bring the extra ribbon.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 6/6/2007 6:00:28 PM >

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:57:22 PM

imthatacheyouhav

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A gift?..no...not in my opinion...its like saying my marriage is a gift of my wifeness.....LOL...its not that to me...its something i agreed to...entered into...its an on going process....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:57:51 PM

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FR. windchymes has it just about right. What's the harm if she thinks of her submission to her One a gift? If it REALLY upsets you, how about this? When you see a submissive refer to the "gift" of her submission, perhaps she's referring to the gift of her power, and of herself, and as she feels that as she is of value, so is her giving herself to a dominant. Is that better? Isn't that nice and warm and empowering? She is of value, and so her gift to Him is of value, too.

Or you could simply get fucked up the ass.

Sorry I'm being snarky. I've just about had it with the clueless advice givers and critics. See other thread.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:58:24 PM

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From: Pennsylvania
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~fr~
The only time I had any interest in objectifying myself as a gift was when it was suggested that a sub may look nice under the Christmas tree, wrapped in ribbons and bows. I still think that could have some amusement. But that's as far as I'm willing to delve into the gift thing.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 5:59:08 PM

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_725554/mpage_2/key_gift/tm.htm#725692
It ain't a gift

http://www.collarchat.com/m_539780/mpage_1/key_gift/tm.htm#539948
The gift of submission

http://www.collarchat.com/m_417971/mpage_2/key_gift/tm.htm#418195
submission is a gift!!!???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_285542/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#285542
If submission is a 'gift.' what's dominance?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_199872/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#199872
The Gift you give to yourself

http://www.collarchat.com/m_195087/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#195087
A gift???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_137582/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#137582
The Domly Gift

http://www.collarchat.com/m_135667/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#135667
Why do so many view submission as a gift?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_128811/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#128811
Do you consider your submission to someone a gift?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_118674/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#118674
Gift or not...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_109097/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#109097
The "gift" of submission

http://www.collarchat.com/m_26446/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#26446
On the gift of submission

http://www.collarchat.com/m_17487/mpage_1/key_gift%252Csubmission/tm.htm#17487
my thoughts on the "gift" of submission

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mpnaleksandra2)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 6:01:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

A gift?..no...not in my opinion...its like saying my marriage is a gift of my wifeness.....LOL...its not that to me...its something i agreed to...entered into...its an on going process....

I would actually say that being in any happy, on going relationship is a gift to the other partner. Because of you, they are experiencing a happiness they would not have otherwise.

Edited to add: I do not believe that gifts have to be something you can touch. I feel that every day with Valyraen is a gift to me, something very precious to treasure.

You can call me naive, you can call me young and stupid. I feel the same way about my parents and my friends. Their love is a precious gift.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/6/2007 6:02:53 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 6:03:35 PM

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I have a very pissy attitude about this for one reason: the last live in I had....

he came to me "preaching" my submission is a gift I choose to give it. When he disagreed with me, he simply said "I don't have to do this. My submission is a gift" In the three months he was here, I heard this probaby once a week. It was "his card". And I'm not talking about things like limits...I mean when he would disagree with a topic of conversation he became very angry. When I would attempt to bring him back to his place by making him kneel in front of me he'd say "no my submission is a gift."

I quickly learned MANY things about him, but the biggest his want to give was there as long as he only gave exactly what he wanted and on his terms and you best always agree with him lest he beat the crap out of you. He didn't stay long.

Submission is a state of being, it is a type, it is a personality, it is a need, a want call it anything you like....it is no gift to me, nor will I consider it such.

My Robert..... he's so beautiful. I've never felt so fulfilled in a BDSM realationship. The gift he gives to me is TRUST; Submission follows trust.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 6:04:12 PM

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LA, Thank you for the links.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 6:08:41 PM

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From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

~fr~
The only time I had any interest in objectifying myself as a gift was when it was suggested that a sub may look nice under the Christmas tree, wrapped in ribbons and bows. I still think that could have some amusement. But that's as far as I'm willing to delve into the gift thing.

I tried to talk him into wrapping me in the light strand but he vetoed it for fear of burns. I think that would have looked awesome, flashing colored lights, tinsel, ornaments attached to my nipples. A true Christmas decoration if not a wrapped gift.

He used to refer to me as a gift. Not so much the submission but my presence in his life when he had given up on finding someone compatible who liked to follow him around instead of arguing. But he's a romantic.

In general I think the term gift of submission is more commonly used by newbies and I think it's a good idea for them to use it. Sub frenzy can make smart people make stupid mistakes, if you can think of yourself as a gift you might think twice before giving that gift to someone unworthy of it. And if a newbie dom thinks of the sub in terms of a gift maybe he'll take the time to double check what he wants to try on her instead of diving in with no knowledge and making a bad mistake.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: "Gift of Submission" - 6/6/2007 6:10:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

He used to refer to me as a gift. Not so much the submission but my presence in his life when he had given up on finding someone compatible who liked to follow him around instead of arguing. But he's a romantic.

Thank you for expressing so clearly what I apparently failed to.

quote:

In general I think the term gift of submission is more commonly used by newbies and I think it's a good idea for them to use it. Sub frenzy can make smart people make stupid mistakes, if you can think of yourself as a gift you might think twice before giving that gift to someone unworthy of it. And if a newbie dom thinks of the sub in terms of a gift maybe he'll take the time to double check what he wants to try on her instead of diving in with no knowledge and making a bad mistake.

It is certainly a thought.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/6/2007 6:11:06 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Celeste43)

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