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RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:24:05 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

Quote/

"The intended message was only that I want her to find the causes of her fears and heal from them but she ranted for several hours and didn't seem to understand the incredibly simple message I was trying to say."

__________________________________________________________________

Hello again, cturcott (?!). I gather it was not a very "intellectual" conversation? If you are dealing with someone with "anxiety" and "fear" issues, and that person does not "understand" you, what does this mean?

From what I read, I think you have very good communication skills, therefore your partner is not "listening" to you in a "positive" capacity. She does not want your help. Accept this.

But, you can tell her about "your" limits about one way ranting. RL.

(in reply to cturcott)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:33:19 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EarthGoddess52

Has anyone here read akbarbarian's profile?? It seems that they haven't. This Dominant has moved since June 1 to an apartment with no furnishings and bought a new "toy" (a Corvette with a loud exhaust) to impress who?? a male coworker?? It seems he is now CAbarbarian as he has recently moved from Sitka, AK to California. His question in this forum seems rhetorical since he has stated in his profile and his blog notes that he expects his slave to like what he likes, dislike what he dislikes and if they aren't sure how to feel about something, just ask him and he will tell them. It seems that he does not want a slave who can think independently or question his authority. In my opinion, these things should have been foreseen and negotiated before the relationship commenced.

Well that answers that, it seems he doesnt wish for HIS slave to have any opinions of her own, (basically he dont want a slave he wants a robot) that has nothing to do with if should slaves be opinionated or not as we all know many many are (id say most but I dont want to generealise) His issue really is he doesnt beleave his slave should have opinions of her own and poorly picked the girl he chose to be his slave as she does have opinions. That isnt going to change unless you with to break her and while breaking her would stop her opinions it would also stop her from beeing a usefull person as a slave or anything and most likely wouldnt make her very emotionaly healthy. It seems he chose wrong and needs to deal with that now.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to EarthGoddess52)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:34:30 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra
From what I read, I think you have very good communication skills, therefore your partner is not "listening" to you in a "positive" capacity. She does not want your help. Accept this.

The mind can be very clever in maintaining its old way of protecting itsself or coping, even if it becomes destructive and harmful in reality. I went to therapy last year and learned a few things about ways the mind can help you avoid fearful things, and it happens in the most subtle ways. She may well not want the sort of change that being with me presents her with. Being brave, confident, and happy as a result sound great to many people but to those people who are not emotionally well off it could be threatening and scary because it means letting your guard down and believing in a happier world (where there might be monsters still lurking unseen, says the paranoid and fearful view).

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:35:22 PM

Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I am the slave in the relationship that this post is based on, I have read all comments and want to start off thanking everyone for responding to Masters post I have gotten some good insight thus far. I want to say that I never intend to be disrespectful to my Master at any time I love serving him and respect him a lot. My problem comes in when we start talking about subjects that I feel very passionate about, that I have thoughts and feelings about, and I never go in to the discussions thinking im going to argue or get so worked up (these are things I dont want to happen, but somehow slip in to without noticing) I would love it if I could just stop, but I dont know how to go about doing so. Master wants me to believe what he believes, and on a lot of subjects we just dont agree. I would love it if people would offer suggestions as to how I can go about this as the only thing I have been able to come up with is to just keep my mouth shut and not voice my opions at all. Please help.

slave jodi

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:46:15 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: EarthGoddess52

Has anyone here read akbarbarian's profile?? It seems that they haven't. This Dominant has moved since June 1 to an apartment with no furnishings and bought a new "toy" (a Corvette with a loud exhaust) to impress who?? a male coworker?? It seems he is now CAbarbarian as he has recently moved from Sitka, AK to California. His question in this forum seems rhetorical since he has stated in his profile and his blog notes that he expects his slave to like what he likes, dislike what he dislikes and if they aren't sure how to feel about something, just ask him and he will tell them. It seems that he does not want a slave who can think independently or question his authority. In my opinion, these things should have been foreseen and negotiated before the relationship commenced.

Well that answers that, it seems he doesnt wish for HIS slave to have any opinions of her own, (basically he dont want a slave he wants a robot) that has nothing to do with if should slaves be opinionated or not as we all know many many are (id say most but I dont want to generealise) His issue really is he doesnt beleave his slave should have opinions of her own and poorly picked the girl he chose to be his slave as she does have opinions. That isnt going to change unless you with to break her and while breaking her would stop her opinions it would also stop her from beeing a usefull person as a slave or anything and most likely wouldnt make her very emotionaly healthy. It seems he chose wrong and needs to deal with that now.

Magik's slave

I do have sort of an android fetish you might say. I don't think it's as rare or unreasonable as all that, it's just different from the way some people do things.

"En route to, and at his country estate, Petruchio begins his "taming" of his new wife. He keeps her from sleeping, invents reasons why she should not eat, and buys her beautiful clothes only to rip them up. When Kate, profoundly shaken by her experiences, is told that they are to return to Padua for Bianca's wedding, she is only too happy to comply. By the time they arrive, Kate's taming is complete and she no longer resists Petruchio. She complies in Petruchio's game, demonstrating her subordination to his will by agreeing that she will regard the moon as the sun, or the sun as the moon, if he demands it. She has understood her husband's method at last. Meanwhile, Tranio persuades a travelling pedant to pretend to be Vincentio. Baptista is pleased to meet Lucentio's father and agrees to the wedding. Petruchio and Kate return to Padua to attend Bianca's wedding. There is great confusion as all disguises collapse. However, everyone ends up married; Lucentio to Bianca and Hortensio to a rich widow. During the banquet, Petruchio brags that his wife, formerly untamable, is now completely obedient. Baptista, Hortensio, and Lucentio are incredulous and the latter two believe that their wives are more obedient. Petruchio proposes a wager in which each will send a servant to call for their wives, and whichever wife comes most obediently will have won the wager for her husband. Baptista, not believing that his shrewish Katherine has been tamed, offers an enormous second dowry in addition to the wager. Neither Bianca nor the widow responds to the call. Kate does, winning Petruchio a second dowry. Kate ends the play with a monologue explaining that wives should always obey their husbands and lords."

I make no claims to be politically correct, just honest. With those of us politically incorrect enough to use the term "slave", aren't there any to admit to the eroticism in this old tale? It is the fantasy of one playwright, does noone else share his sense of lust for female submission of that flavor? We can live any way we choose. If I chose to behave as Kate did, I could. If I can, someone else can too. There is someone to like it all, as "it takes all kinds", or "for every chair there is a derriere".

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:46:44 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Im sorry but after reading the OPs porfile I think what he is seeking is totaly unrealistic. He wants her to beleave only what he beleaves like only what he likes desilike everything he dislikes and so on.. come on NO one is going to feel the same way about everthing that you do, is it even right of you to ask them to give all of themselfs up like that. What identatie does she have left if she isnt even aloud to think how she thinks?? I dont know it looks emotionaly destructive to me. Also looks like she is beeiung sete up for failure. Im begining to think the problem is with the "Master" and not the slave!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:49:46 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I would love it if people would offer suggestions as to how I can go about this as the only thing I have been able to come up with is to just keep my mouth shut and not voice my opions at all. Please help.

My Daddy and I do not agree on everything, but we do share a lot of common ground, and there is an element of respect between us that we want to hear each other's opinions... and that means actively listening, I do not need to win a debate with Daddy. We are on the same team after all. I would say that listening carefully, considering what he says, looking at his side, and repeating back to him what he has voiced will go a long way to fostering discussions where both of you feel valued....

Try not to get into a heated debate before bedtime...

If you find there are things that the two of you are so far apart on that one of you feels disrespected when the other voices an opinion perhaps it would be a good idea not to discuss that topic... perhaps there needs to be mutual respect in this regard. If my Daddy constantly brought up a position that I felt a strong ethical and spiritual tie to in a way that was a slam on my beliefs, well that would show little respect for me as a human being (he has never done that to me)... so respect goes two ways here.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/15/2007 7:50:17 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:51:06 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

Oh yeah you're right, I suck! Jeez, I'm going to block myself now

Don't do it, I tried it once, and Mod11 told me to knock it the fuck off. But if you think you suck-----
I don't think 11 is gonna argue, that kinda shit is hands off, she don't shine images.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:54:20 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Oh and it says in his profile he wants his slave to act as if she agrees with him even if she doesnt... so he is incuraging and demanding her to be dishonest about how she feels.... this sounds like great way to communicate!!! How ever does this slave get what she needs from the relationships.. I could see it now

"I need to breath Master may I"
"You dont neeed to breath"
"Yes Master I dont need to breath" ((slave passes out blue in the face and then starts involenteraly breathing, when slave awakens she is punished for breathing when her Master told her she didnt need to))

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 7:57:07 PM

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

If i had no opinions and agreed on everything what does that make me? Doormat? I am just speaking for myself now....My body is here but my mind is becoming stagnant?

winterlight

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:00:04 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Im sorry but after reading the OPs porfile I think what he is seeking is totaly unrealistic. He wants her to beleave only what he beleaves like only what he likes desilike everything he dislikes and so on.. come on NO one is going to feel the same way about everthing that you do, is it even right of you to ask them to give all of themselfs up like that. What identatie does she have left if she isnt even aloud to think how she thinks?? I dont know it looks emotionaly destructive to me. Also looks like she is beeiung sete up for failure. Im begining to think the problem is with the "Master" and not the slave!!!

Magik's slave

Then she's set to be my super sidekick! It's not as bad as you might think. I for example am helping her study and get certified in MS Office so she can get a better job. I just don't want her fighting me on issues, whether large or small. The fetish is a fetish, I recognize that. Where it fails to be a practical approach, I can step out of it. I still have a right to like it, and I don't do it in order to demolish anyone but rather to well...think of it like the Marines. Those guys are brainwashed, patriotic fighting machines, right? I'm sure they still have their individuality, while having their conformity to what they were brainwashed to as well. If you are offended by this different way of living, perhaps you could either ask questions about it nicely or we could agree to disagree?

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:02:48 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

I am the slave in the relationship that this post is based on, I have read all comments and want to start off thanking everyone for responding to Masters post I have gotten some good insight thus far. I want to say that I never intend to be disrespectful to my Master at any time I love serving him and respect him a lot. My problem comes in when we start talking about subjects that I feel very passionate about, that I have thoughts and feelings about, and I never go in to the discussions thinking im going to argue or get so worked up (these are things I dont want to happen, but somehow slip in to without noticing) I would love it if I could just stop, but I dont know how to go about doing so. Master wants me to believe what he believes, and on a lot of subjects we just dont agree. I would love it if people would offer suggestions as to how I can go about this as the only thing I have been able to come up with is to just keep my mouth shut and not voice my opions at all. Please help.

slave jodi

Hon based on his profile this is what he wants. If you want to be his slave that may be what you have to do, if you dont want to give up everything like that and want to be able to have your own thoughts then perchance you are in the wrong relationship.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:04:43 PM

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

Slaveluci -
Ask for permission to speak by raising a hand.
Ask for permission to enter a channel by sending a private message to an authority in the channel, just as if you were entering a password-protected channel.

juliaoceania
Are you her master? And if not, why do you think it is appropriate to tell her what to do?

Dan was just giving examples he was not telling her what to do.
Guess you missed luci's post eh?

jump right in LOL

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:07:05 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Then she's set to be my super sidekick! It's not as bad as you might think. I for example am helping her study and get certified in MS Office so she can get a better job. I just don't want her fighting me on issues, whether large or small. The fetish is a fetish, I recognize that. Where it fails to be a practical approach, I can step out of it. I still have a right to like it, and I don't do it in order to demolish anyone but rather to well...think of it like the Marines. Those guys are brainwashed, patriotic fighting machines, right? I'm sure they still have their individuality, while having their conformity to what they were brainwashed to as well. If you are offended by this different way of living, perhaps you could either ask questions about it nicely or we could agree to disagree?

I see nothing wrong with this personally... except for one thing, if you are shitting on her beliefs while ranting endlessly about your own and expecting her just to keep her mouth shut, you are being very disrespectful of her. If you do not want her to voice opinions contrary to your own, then at least respect her enough not to voice opinions that might step on her belief system. For example, if I was with a dom and he was very right wing and republican and ranted endlessly about nonsense without facts to support his position, I would be very unhappy (actually that is a hard limit...lol).

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:09:02 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Actually I read her post, and i did not see how it related, but feel free to snark away... you are so very good at it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:09:54 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Im sorry but after reading the OPs porfile I think what he is seeking is totaly unrealistic. He wants her to beleave only what he beleaves like only what he likes desilike everything he dislikes and so on.. come on NO one is going to feel the same way about everthing that you do, is it even right of you to ask them to give all of themselfs up like that. What identatie does she have left if she isnt even aloud to think how she thinks?? I dont know it looks emotionaly destructive to me. Also looks like she is beeiung sete up for failure. Im begining to think the problem is with the "Master" and not the slave!!!

Magik's slave

Then she's set to be my super sidekick! It's not as bad as you might think. I for example am helping her study and get certified in MS Office so she can get a better job. I just don't want her fighting me on issues, whether large or small. The fetish is a fetish, I recognize that. Where it fails to be a practical approach, I can step out of it. I still have a right to like it, and I don't do it in order to demolish anyone but rather to well...think of it like the Marines. Those guys are brainwashed, patriotic fighting machines, right? I'm sure they still have their individuality, while having their conformity to what they were brainwashed to as well. If you are offended by this different way of living, perhaps you could either ask questions about it nicely or we could agree to disagree?

I do dissagree with you, I feel that there is no healthy way to strip someone of themselfs. and yes I do have cradentials as I am well on my way to my secent phyc dagree. I feel it is unsafe, and unrealistic that once you have suceeded in makeing her thnk only what you think that she is going to be of any use after that, and when the relatuionship ends you have left her unable to think on her own.

Magik;s slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:10:53 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

I am the slave in the relationship that this post is based on, I have read all comments and want to start off thanking everyone for responding to Masters post I have gotten some good insight thus far. I want to say that I never intend to be disrespectful to my Master at any time I love serving him and respect him a lot. My problem comes in when we start talking about subjects that I feel very passionate about, that I have thoughts and feelings about, and I never go in to the discussions thinking im going to argue or get so worked up (these are things I dont want to happen, but somehow slip in to without noticing) I would love it if I could just stop, but I dont know how to go about doing so. Master wants me to believe what he believes, and on a lot of subjects we just dont agree. I would love it if people would offer suggestions as to how I can go about this as the only thing I have been able to come up with is to just keep my mouth shut and not voice my opions at all. Please help.

slave jodi

Hon based on his profile this is what he wants. If you want to be his slave that may be what you have to do, if you dont want to give up everything like that and want to be able to have your own thoughts then perchance you are in the wrong relationship.

Magik's slave

Sometimes it is better to bite one's tounge. At work I don't always give a contrary opinion to my supervisor, or the CEO when my views differ. In the long run however, that is a very short term solution and communication needs to be there. If what you underlined that she said was what I wanted, I could have accepted that weeks ago when she first offered it as an idea.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:15:19 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Sometimes my ideas are better than my boss or my Daddy's ideas... and a good boss realizes that it does not matter where a good idea comes from because their ego is not entirely tied up with making a mistake or having an error in judgment. If I was with someone whose self esteem relied on being right, I would not respect them... sometimes subordinates are right about things. In fact if I had an idea to save time, money, resources I know my boss would expect me to share it. My boss asks my opinion about things, and so does my Daddy... but my Daddy loves a smart submissive, especially one that is submissive to him

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:15:49 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Im just going from what your profile says and your profile says that is what you are seeking in a slave... in fact your profile doesnt mention haveing a slave untill your journals. I fount that a bit odd.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Should a slave be opinionated? - 6/15/2007 8:16:36 PM

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

juliaoceania
feel free to snark away... you are so very good at it.

Good one I'm the snarky one- LOL
so predictable

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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