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Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 4:34:59 PM   
DedicatedDom40


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http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=270407

On the above link, there is another link to the entire 20 minute segment on video


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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 4:51:35 PM   
kittinSol


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I couldn't watch it past the midwest chick going on about how her and her daughter 'honoured Daddy'.

These women harp on about respecting their husbands, but do they make their husbands respect them? I can feel the tension in the men as they feel their sl... sorry, their wife isn't going fast enough for them.

It's creepy, it's scary, and it made me feel sick! Now, for a quick rerun of 'Thelma and Louise'!



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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 5:47:57 PM   
kittinSol


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So desperate are they to save their marriage that these women are ready to go to the extreme of playing tricks to their dog of a husband, much like a magician would to a crowd of gullible variety theatre patrons.

And they call that respect?

It's foolery, that's what it is! If I were one of their guys, I'd demand a refund.



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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 6:10:51 PM   
cjenny


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If the women believe in the premise of the book why would you call them tricks? I'm genuinely curious, I've read most of the book (did not like it LOL) but the video wouldn't play for me. From what I read it does work for some, IMO there isn't the exchange I personally need but is that just cuz I'm a kinky freak?
It makes me wonder how I would view it all if I didn't have the inside-of-me connection to WIITWD. In a way I can understand doing it to be pleasing, to do it because it is what he wants. How different is it? Just what makes it different from here?
'They' say The Surrendered Wife is about him wanting total power, total control but in a negative way. We do the same thing in a different (?) way and see it as positive.
So.
I'm trying to figure out why I don't like that but love this WIITWD and how  that is diff from this.

Lead me oh wise one, to the path of enlightenment?

Edit: Kitten your posts cracked me up btw.

< Message edited by cjenny -- 6/21/2007 6:11:48 PM >


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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 7:09:08 PM   
kittinSol


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You may be a kinky freak, jenny, but these women are just plain freaks. Fucking hell! They're advocating going back on decades of feminist progress, and they're raising their daughters to bow to the power of the almighty phallus!

Of course, everybody can live the way they like. BUT, and it's a big but (as big of a butt as the butt that belongs to that chick who wrote the original ... huh.... can we really call it a book?): if they're happy to unveil to the world and his wife all the sordid little details that go into the recipe that make their marriages so HAPPY, then I'm happy to tell them, loud and clear, that I think their marital arrangements suck, and that it's dangerous politics.

They're leading all of us on to the slippery slope of spousal oppression. No, thank you!

On top of that: I shudder to think that some of us will take their 'surrender' as an other example of BDSM submission. To me, it's nothing to do with BDSM.

Argh!

(I'm glad my rants amused you, jenny  )

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/21/2007 7:10:43 PM   
cjenny


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 A bit too Stepford Wife for ya?


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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 6:41:53 AM   
kittinSol


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Yeah! Except the Stepford sisters were all (spoiler alert!) robots, weren't they. These 'surrendered' chicks still have their brains switched on. They're deliberately shooting themselves in the foot.

Imagine what a crappy sex life they must have? Where's the joy? Where's the sharing? Argh!

Seriously, I don't think their marriages are going to be any more successful than the ones of these awful harridanes that dare order their own course at the restaurant.

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 11:53:13 AM   
DedicatedDom40


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Honestly, I believe footage of the males doing their part towards the good of the marriage which would have balanced out the "personal servant" imagery was conspicuously missing from the story for a reason, namely to excite and alarm a certain type of viewer.

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 3:03:04 PM   
bschwimmer


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I would like to meet one

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 3:59:27 PM   
LotusSong


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Hate to disappoint you but this concept rears it's head about every 20 years or so.  The guys love it.."oooh, I can tell her we are having sex 4 times a day and she has to "surrender" to the idea!".  Then reality hits.. they also have to make all the decisions for the family and take responsibilities for everything,  the bills, the maintenance and provide.
 
The guys drop the ball eventually and the woman picks up all the loose ends so that the household runs smoothly and everything is back to square one.

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 5:59:51 PM   
DedicatedDom40


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Oh, I see what you're saying.....

Just because these couples are well off financially, dress normal, dont look like white trash kinksters, and don't own a dungeon, their level of involvement is simply nothing more than a fad.

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 6:18:56 PM   
Boucanier


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Wow.  You know, for a community that struggles so hard to at least be left alone to do our thing, if not truly accepted, people here can be incredibly judgemental of those who don't see things exactly as they do.  If it works for them, good for them.  I know of people who DO combine the concepts in that book with a kink lifestyle -- Does that validate the "Surrendered wife" part?  Does it invalidate the kink?  Who are you to judge?  If you don't like it, don't live it, but let others live as they see fit.  As for what they teach their daughters, that's between them and their daughters, unless you're ok with the idea of society telling us what beliefs we can bestow on our kids -- a scary proposition, considering what most of society thinks of what most of us believe (at one point or another).

If this is what it is that we do, sitting in judgement of those whose lifestyles aren't to our approval, how different are we from our detractors?

"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 6:21:49 PM   
MissJana


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OMG <slaps forehead> Sounds more like these wives "surrender" just to not have to hear their husbands bitch and whine. Hmmm, kinda like most of my marriage, which I luckily escaped from with my backbone. 

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:20:27 PM   
slaveluci


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol
On top of that: I shudder to think that some of us will take their 'surrender' as an other example of BDSM submission. To me, it's nothing to do with BDSM. 

Well, not to send you into a fit of shuddering or anything but I watched the clip and I see nothing wrong with what these women are doing.  Let me make a short list of some of the things that occurred:
*a husband ordered for his wife in a restaurant and later picked out the clothes she would wear out
*a woman had to make her husband a smoothie for breakfast
*a mother spoke to her young daughter of "pleasing" and "honoring" her father and how he is the "king" of their home
*one lady ran her husband's bath and actually washed his back and shaves him
*It was suggested that women should not nag, should not criticize, should respect their husband's choices, and that husbands should have the final say in everything from financial decisions to sexual relations (in which case she said always say "yes" and not deny him)
*It was further suggested that "happy marriages happen" when wives give lots more control to their husbands and that, even if marriage is considered a partnership, the husband is the senior partner and the wife is junior partner.

Now, I don't want to shock anyone but there is nothing here that Master and I do not adhere to (except explaining to the young child how things work as we don't have children.  However, if we did, I would certainly explain it just as she did).  I don't see anything oppressive or abusive in any of this.  Saying it is creepy, sick, and wrong is certainly an opinion you've the right to have but to say these folks are freaks and should be dismissed is what is wrong in my eyes.  We live like this and He and I love every minute of it.  Just because we throw in some bondage and pain doesn't make it any more valid than if we didn't.  I hate to burst anyone's bubble but not everyone's submission involves strutting out to public parties, wearing fetish clothes and hanging out in dungeons.  If that's what does it for you, great.  But please don't insult or dismiss those whose kink simply appears a bit more vanilla to you..........slave luci   

Edited to add:  I would also state here that BDSM is made up of the terms bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism.  In our relationship, we are always engaged in the d/s part and the other two happen occasionally.  I see these women as engaged in perfect examples of what d/s means to Master and I.  Just because couples aren't constantly involved in the other two aspects doesn't make their relationship any less valid or acceptable as a BDSM one.  Master says that if I were to only be totally submissive to Him when I'm tied up or being beaten, that that would be a poor example of BDSM.

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 6/22/2007 10:30:06 PM >


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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:27:34 PM   
charlotte12


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I tried to watch it with an open mind because i do feel that i am no one to judge others for something they do that works for them. The thing is that i'm not sure i was convinced it actually works for these women. I saw something in their actions, eyes and general demeanor that seemed not so much surrendered as oppressed. I dunno, it's just sort of a gut feeling i got while watching it but it had none of the sense of joy that one can see in a D/s dynamic. Also, the fact that it is specifically surrendered wives makes me feel a little ..bleh. Seems to me that in bdsm we might do the same things but with no expectation of who is required to surrender based on gender or age or anything other than that those who submit do it because it brings them joy. The idea that the wife is the one who bears the sole responsibility of saving the relationship just sits wrong with me.

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:38:28 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


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 Maybe it's just me but my observation has been that people in this lifestyle are much more educated about sexual "techniques" and communicate their sexual wants and needs much more than vanilla couples..
The wives always say yes.  Imagine how hot that sex must be with their powerful manly husbands...Ugh! 

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:45:09 PM   
slaveluci


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch
Maybe it's just me but my observation has been that people in this lifestyle are much more educated about sexual "techniques" and communicate their sexual wants and needs much more than vanilla couples.
The wives always say yes.  Imagine how hot that sex must be with their powerful manly husbands...Ugh! 

Yeah....imagine having to actually have sex with your husband when he wants to.  That is gross.  As far as these wives always saying yes.....and that differs from lots of subs/slaves how?  Do most of them usually refuse their doms/masters when they want sex?  I wouldn't know because I don't have the option of saying "yes" or "no" since I'm not asked for my opinion about it.  He wants anything and He gets it - it's not a debate.  That's what I agreed to when I became His slave and that's what these women agreed to in their marriage.  How is that wrong or boring?...........slave luci

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:55:13 PM   
onegoodgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DedicatedDom40

Honestly, I believe footage of the males doing their part towards the good of the marriage which would have balanced out the "personal servant" imagery was conspicuously missing from the story for a reason, namely to excite and alarm a certain type of viewer.


Agreed.


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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 10:58:33 PM   
charlotte12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
That's what I agreed to when I became His slave and that's what these women agreed to in their marriage.  How is that wrong or boring?...........slave luci


I would say that the difference i see is that i'm assuming you entered into your relationship because that kind of power exchange makes you happy. These women seem to enter into it as though they are responsible for saving or maintaining the relationship.

I don't know. I agree with you that we should not judge something that works for others. I'm just still trying to process how i felt about it since i would love a dynamic like that but the video itself disturbed me a little.

*still thinking*
~charlotte

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RE: Surrendered Wives on "60 minutes" Austrailia - 6/22/2007 11:07:39 PM   
slaveluci


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quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12
I would say that the difference i see is that i'm assuming you entered into your relationship because that kind of power exchange makes you happy. These women seem to enter into it as though they are responsible for saving or maintaining the relationship.

I don't know. I agree with you that we should not judge something that works for others. I'm just still trying to process how i felt about it since i would love a dynamic like that but the video itself disturbed me a little.

*still thinking*
~charlotte

I see where the video would leave such questions if you aren't exactly sure if you want to enter such a relationship.  It certainly wasn't coming from an openminded, balanced perspective.  There were two feminists on there detracting but no one in support of such a dynamic except the couples living it.  I can assure you that the relationship I enjoy is happy and fulfilling for both of us.  I wasn't forced into it but chose it.  There was nothing in this video that even left open the possibility that there might be a larger group of women who would choose such a dynamic.  As a matter of fact, the one feminist even stated that it appeared to be "slavery" which was abolished 200 years ago.  Yeah, but if you're as fortunate as I am, you can still enter into consensual slavery.........slave luci 

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