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RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 6:19:31 AM

Switchsubcouple

Posts: 27
Joined: 9/30/2007
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i think like any other relationship this goes beyond ones age or size. it has been a long time since i felt anything close to how your feeling about my own self image and how others percieve it. Yes people have preferences and maybe the pattern with Male Doms are for the younger and slimmer submissives however i think we all know that preferences are easily over come by some but not by all. To me it is more of a self confidence and what we project out to people that enables them to see the beauty we have to offer. If i always complain about how a Mistress does this or that than other Mistress will not be attracted to me and that has nothing to do with looks or age rather it is a mere principal... What we soe is what we reap. Be more positive and you will attract the positive to you. There are plenty of "Women" who do not fit into my "Preferred Preferrence" but yet they still rock my world.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 6:33:11 AM

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

I find my subs on Craigslist. The subs find their Dom there too.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 6:44:32 AM

FantaCscometrue

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

Dediantgirl. Don't gever give up on finding what you want. At the present time you may not be getting a lot of hits but it has nothing to do wiht you. Getting hits on you add has everything to do with marketing. This is going to sound very crass and is not intended to, but selling profiles is just like selling any other product, Your profile listing is your packaging an maybe you need to make some changes to it to make it more appealing. Im not saying change anything about you, just look at the site look the workding (the picture is nice) and see if you can spruce up the "carton" that holds your ad. Check your introduciton, check the wording on your actual proflle to see if it is "inviting" to make the ready want to kno more. Then just give it some time. They will come

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 7:18:00 AM

Posts: 14413
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Since Dominant men outnumber submissive women by about 10:1, I've never had an issue. The last time I was looking I got 152 responses in 4 weeks. I found 10 that met my criteria and met them.

I think your issue is that you're hung up on finding someone that will accept you when you should be trying to find someone that is acceptable to you.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to FantaCscometrue)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 7:34:03 AM

Posts: 255
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Ahhh I love the Blues.
How about "Stormy Monday"?
Or "God Bless the Child"?
"Good Morning Heartache"?

B.B. King - Chains and Things

Woke up this mornin, after another one of those crazy dreams.
Oh, nothing is goin right this mornin, the whole world is wrong it seems.
Oh, I guess it's the chains that bind me,
I can't shake em loose, these chains and things.

Got to go to work this mornin, seems like everything is lost.
I got a cold hearted, wrong doin woman and a slave drivin boss.
I can't loose these chains that bind me,
Can't shake em loose, these chains and things.
Mmmm, just can't loose these chains and things.

Oh, you talk about hard luck and trouble, seem to be my middle name,
All of the odds against me, yes, I can only play the loosing game.
These chains that bind me,
Can't loose these chains and things.
Mmmm, just can't loose these chains and things.

Oh, I would pack up and leave today people, but I ain't got nowhere to go.
Ain't got no money to buy a ticket and I don't feel like walkin anymore.
Oh, these chains that bind me,
Oh, I can't loose, I can't loose these chains and things.

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 8:55:39 AM

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Defiant Bad Girl,

This will come off as harsh; rest assured it's not intended to. I've never seen you; but your lack of self-confidence is probably the most unsexy thing about you. Address THAT flaw, first and foremost, and you'll be miles ahead of where you are now. The rest (weight, appearence, whatever) can be dealt with in due course.

Regards,

Stephan

I tend to agree with this line of thought here.

I have read quite a few of your posts and they generally seem to fall under the scope of "I am never going to find anyone!", ranging from reasons regarding your weight, physical appearance, or super intellgience.

Hey, it sucks trying to find a life partner and I promise you that a lot of other people have it a lot worse than you, because of circumstances that dont center around personal flaws.

This constant Blues song of self pity, how your sob story is so much worse than everyone elses, and how it is so horrible to be you that sings between the notes of your posts is probably the most unattractive thing about you.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 9:11:18 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Defiant Bad Girl,

This will come off as harsh; rest assured it's not intended to. I've never seen you; but your lack of self-confidence is probably the most unsexy thing about you. Address THAT flaw, first and foremost, and you'll be miles ahead of where you are now. The rest (weight, appearence, whatever) can be dealt with in due course.

Regards,

Stephan

I tend to agree with this line of thought here.

I have read quite a few of your posts and they generally seem to fall under the scope of "I am never going to find anyone!", ranging from reasons regarding your weight, physical appearance, or super intellgience.

Hey, it sucks trying to find a life partner and I promise you that a lot of other people have it a lot worse than you, because of circumstances that dont center around personal flaws.

This constant Blues song of self pity, how your sob story is so much worse than everyone elses, and how it is so horrible to be you that sings between the notes of your posts is probably the most unattractive thing about you.

Only because this needs to be repeated over and over and over and over...........

Get off your pity pot and start working on improving yourself......until then it's going to be the same old shit over and over. And quite frankly it becomes rather like the boy that cried wolf. No one really wants to listen or care.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 9:16:38 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Tried it once, and immediantly went back to my submissive side

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 9:29:05 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Angst and negativity is unnapealing in any shape or form. It'll make even a ten rank at a minus 1.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:02:44 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Get off your pity pot and start working on improving yourself......until then it's going to be the same old shit over and over. And quite frankly it becomes rather like the boy that cried wolf. No one really wants to listen or care.

I'm confused. What does hoping to see the same positive responses toward older bbw subs as there were toward older bbw dommes have to do with a pity party? I see post after post on these boards about subs thinking they're worthless for whatever reason. I thought it would be nice for some of these subs to hear something positive. Improvement? I thought self-confidence was someone being able to accept themselves for who they are and expecting others to do the same.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:10:47 AM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Angst and negativity is unnapealing in any shape or form. It'll make even a ten rank at a minus 1.

Exactly. Why do you think I started these threads? I saw how positive the response was toward older bbw dommes and thought subs would benefit from similar positive responses.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:16:50 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Angst and negativity is unnapealing in any shape or form. It'll make even a ten rank at a minus 1.

Exactly. Why do you think I started these threads? I saw how positive the response was toward older bbw dommes and thought subs would benefit from similar positive responses.

But your methodology is negative, so you get negative responses instead. Who set it up to be so?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:27:12 AM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

Gee, I don't know. Maybe the fact that there were very few positive responses toward older bbw subs and plenty of positive responses toward bbw dommes. Why don't you go to Ask a Mistress and compare the two? I think bbw subs deserve the same appreciation and positivity that bbw dommes do.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:31:12 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Gee, I don't know. Maybe the fact that there were very few positive responses toward older bbw subs and plenty of positive responses toward bbw dommes. Why don't you go to Ask a Mistress and compare the two? I think bbw subs deserve the same appreciation and positivity that bbw dommes do.

I think you may have discounted the male sub desperation factor just a tad. Think that might be a slight reason the results are skewed?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:33:26 AM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

My looks, brains, confidence and attitude are not the issue in finding a compatible Dom. I get plenty of interest.

It is simply the lack of available Doms who possess looks, brains, confidence and attitude that I find interesting enough.

Believe me, OP, it is not your size, it is your confidence level as others have stated.

(in reply to DocRudy)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:38:07 AM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

Most unattached male subs and unattached male doms are looking for partners, right? So why should there be a difference?

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:44:53 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

defiantbadgirl, for someone who claims such superior intelligence you sure do seem to have an issue with comprehension. Just take into consideration how many people on THIS THREAD ALONE have attempted to tell you what the problem is, not to mention all of the people who have tried REPEATEDLY on all of your other 1111 posts. But you still just don't get it. So I will tell you, it's not your body, it's not bad doms, it's not bad "personal trainers", it's YOU. YOU are unattractive because you are whiny, stubborn, can't see your own faults, blame everyone else for you situation and won't listen to a damn thing anyone (or EVERYONE!!!) is trying to say to you. All of your threads are the SAME....poor me, poor me...it's "their" fault, not mine....and everyone is sick to death of hearing it and trying to get you to understand because you simply DO NOT, CAN NOT OR WILL NOT LISTEN. It would not matter how much you weighed or what you looked like because it is NOT the OUTSIDE of you that is the PROBLEM. Get it?

quote:

LuckyAlbatross
Defiant how many threads are you going to start about how it sucks to be you and how you can't find a decent man?

quote:

Domiguy
Oh by the way, there are some women that do not have a perfect body but still attract men....It's cause they gots lots of interesting stuff twix their ears.....You might want to think about this fact in relation to your own failures.

quote:

Stephann
Defiant Bad Girl,

This will come off as harsh; rest assured it's not intended to. I've never seen you; but your lack of self-confidence is probably the most unsexy thing about you. Address THAT flaw, first and foremost, and you'll be miles ahead of where you are now.

quote:

Ailleen68
dbg...there is so much to be said about confidence and the vibes that it sends off. Just this thread shows that you have none in yourself. Others will pick up on that. If you aren't happy with yourself then change. Change the way you think. Change the way you look. Change the way your see yourself. Think of how you want to be and then do it.

quote:

HisSongstress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
...there is so much to be said about confidence and the vibes that it sends off. ..... Others will pick up on that. If you aren't happy with yourself then change. Change the way you think. Change the way you look. Change the way your see yourself. Think of how you want to be and then do it.
YES!!!!

quote:

DocRudy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

dbg...there is so much to be said about confidence and the vibes that it sends off. Just this thread shows that you have none in yourself. Others will pick up on that. If you aren't happy with yourself then change. Change the way you think. Change the way you look. Change the way your see yourself. Think of how you want to be and then do it.

Bingo.

quote:

SwitchSubCouple
To me it is more of a self confidence and what we project out to people that enables them to see the beauty we have to offer. If i always complain about how a Mistress does this or that than other Mistress will not be attracted to me and that has nothing to do with looks or age rather it is a mere principal... What we soe is what we reap. Be more positive and you will attract the positive to you.

quote:

OsideGirl
I think your issue is that you're hung up on finding someone that will accept you when you should be trying to find someone that is acceptable to you

quote:

MadRabbit
I have read quite a few of your posts and they generally seem to fall under the scope of "I am never going to find anyone!", ranging from reasons regarding your weight, physical appearance, or super intellgience.

Hey, it sucks trying to find a life partner and I promise you that a lot of other people have it a lot worse than you, because of circumstances that dont center around personal flaws.

This constant Blues song of self pity, how your sob story is so much worse than everyone elses, and how it is so horrible to be you that sings between the notes of your posts is probably the most unattractive thing about you.

quote:

LaTigresse
Get off your pity pot and start working on improving yourself......until then it's going to be the same old shit over and over. And quite frankly it becomes rather like the boy that cried wolf. No one really wants to listen or care.

quote:

RRafe
Angst and negativity is unnapealing in any shape or form.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:48:38 AM

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline

agrees with sexyred1...

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:49:43 AM

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

i posted my views on myself on the thread the OP started on the Ask a Master forum...i don't need to repost them there...but i was thinking about an encounter i had friday night....a play session if you will....

at no point that night did i think about the size of my ass, at no point that night did i think about that i didn't shave that morning, much less that evening, i didn't think about that i had been sweating all day or that i smelled like the smoke that permeated the hotel karaoke bar we had been sitting in...it certainly didn't cross my mind that i have cellulite on my thighs as he was shoving them apart to finger my cunt...or that my breasts aren't perfectly shaped as he was biting my nipples...if the whole package - my body along with my confidence, my humbleness, my raw sexuallity, my masochism, my kinkiness, my - whatever else it was that turned it was that turned him on - wasn't good enough...i'm pretty sure his cock wouldn't have been hard in his mouth....

now....is that enough to make a relationship? no...but thats not what this post is about...because relationships are not about physical appearances...you can have the most freaking physically perfect - in your eyes - person and they can be the worst match ever in every other area....

edited to add: oh and ditto on mistoferin's last post here....

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 10/2/2007 10:52:59 AM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 10:55:03 AM

burningdesires47

Posts: 120
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

I'm having difficulty finding a Dom, and I'm what you seem to consider a Barbie doll--5'4" and 135lbs. (even tho technically babrie doll proportions are 5'11" and 110lbs with 42DDD boobs and a 15 in waist but whatever, you can make up your own definition for "barbie doll" to mean "any woman I find more attractive than me" if you want, I'll just take it as a compliment).

You're asking why two completely different demographics of people have different tastes. Heck, you're asking why two different people in general have different tastes. Why not just ask why all the vanilla guys refuse to dominate you? I mean really, sure there may be a pattern to the different types of guys who like different types of girls. And maybe you're seeing a pattern where there isn't one because you want to. Now, why you want to see everyone who isn't interested instead of looking at the ones that are, that's your own problem to figure out. Preferably somewhere else. Like by yourself. In a dark room with some soft music and candles. While you meditate. Alone. Not on a public forum to get offended by the fact that some people just don't find you attractive because you are a BBW (whatever that means since I know of 4 different definitions for it), and forget that some people would rather have you than me because I have some love handles but I won't break ribs or suffocate them. Ya know, some guys like that kinda risk.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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