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RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:00:41 AM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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You obviously didn't bother reading any of my responses to these comments. Let me make something clear. THERE IS NO POOR ME. I saw a positive thread about bbw dommes being in demand and thought bbw subs as a whole would benefit from the same whether it helped their self esteem or simply brightened their day. The only thing you're sick of is my refusal to let negative comments lower my self esteem.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:02:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard. There's a thread in Ask a Mistress about male subs desiring older bbw dommes that generated many positive responses (4 pages). I started a thread in Ask a Master about Doms desiring older bbw subs and there was only 1 response in 4 hours. I was wondering if any bbw subs out there ever considered becoming switches and ordering male subs to dominate them?

You talk about this a lot.

I have a very imperfect body. I have no trouble finding partners or people interested in becoming my partner. It is about a lot more than your body.

We always have people telling Valyraen how lucky he is to have me, how awesome I am, how they would love to have me. It's very normal for us and we both find it flattering. And it's definately not about my body, though I do clean up well if I say so myself.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/2/2007 11:08:26 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:03:03 AM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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Your self esteem couldn't get much lower. You are not drowning in a cesspool of dysfunction, you ARE a cesspool of dysfunction.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:03:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Angst and negativity is unnapealing in any shape or form. It'll make even a ten rank at a minus 1.

Exactly. Why do you think I started these threads? I saw how positive the response was toward older bbw dommes and thought subs would benefit from similar positive responses.

I'm sure the fact that this particular focus group is one that you put yourself under and the fact that when after a whole "4 hours" of not getting much of a response, this thread was born, centering around the topic of how difficult it is for people like you to ever find a life partner is purely coincedence.

Thought I will give you a few points for using the pretense of "helping others" in these threads as opposed to just directly whining about you as a subtle way to cry out for pity and sympathy.

Someone who had not read your past threads and come to realize this was just the same bullshit dressed up in different clothing would have given you tissues while thinking highly of you and never once noticing the self martyrdom written between the lines.

Even your sig line reeks of hopelessness and negativity.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/2/2007 11:06:55 AM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:05:37 AM

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I have not laughed so hard in so long mistoferin and all those You cut and paste to follow with the same view point ....... ok, i am back ...........fell to the floor, than crawled to the toliet so i could address my incontinence problem!!!
A few have expressed to me that i too have low self esteem ......... quite the opposite really. i absoulutely adore me, stretch marks, extra chin, brown eye and all!!! .......... i know that i rock, and spank my own ass every chance i get ....... i do not subscribe to the theory that the whole world thinks i rock, however .......... and that is fine and dandy ...........
Embrace You ..... alone or with a toy

.......... we all have flaws ........ they make You unique. Seems to me dearest defiantbadgirl, You seek attention ........... lmfao ......... and it has been plentiful ........... just not the sunshine in Your bum You may have hoped for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:12:32 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSongstress

I LIVED as a fat ugly stupid, yet too smart, girl until about 2 years ago. Then I started to get beautiful from the inside out. The more I saw my beauty and my value, the more I revealed it to others. The more others saw it, the more confident I became to show more of it. I am not just talking about weight.... my face actually became more lovely... it was an amazing transformation..... BUT I HAD TO SEE IT. My body is far from perfect. I look pretty good in clothes. But when I am naked......, thankfully, my spirit is what others see. My Doms love my body, they are teaching me to do the same. My challenge now is to learn how to nicely say "no" to new interests. I am such a lucky girl.

best!

song

Oh my God I *so* agree with this post!

When I was 19 I weighed about 145 and was a size 8-10. Like I said earlier though I'm 5'8 and have a solid bone structure...but I thought I was soooooo fat because my best friend was this hot little Latina who somehow managed both a 34c *and* a size 4.

Bitch

Now I'm about 170 (ok I'm guessing and being totally generous to myself here because I don't own a scale) but I'm a 12-14 and ironically I am ten times more confident about my body. But that's because I'm more confident about myself in general - I know I'm pretty, I know I'm sexy and seductive because that's all about attitude, and I know I can back up my looks with being an awesome girlfriend.

The only reason I'm single right now is because I choose to wait for a relationship that's leading somewhere...someone who is interested in the long term and big picture. And also someone who wants to tie me up and take advantage of me. I could snag a vanilla boyfriend or a hot guy who spoils me senseless and wants to tie me up but doesn't want anything long term just by picking up the phone.

To the OP - I know when you created this thread you thought you were being positive, but really what it seems like is "male subs like thick girls so why don't doms" and that just sounds like whining. Regardless of intention.

I mean come on now...male subs like girls who put on strap ons, and licking shoes, and having their delicate parts stepped on. Should male doms like the same just because they're all male?? And not only that but attraction is *such* an individual thing! I've loved men that my friends found ugly, and considered my friends' true loves to be blah at best. There's no one size fits all dream lover - I even know girls who think Brad Pitt is ugly and Orlando Bloom is hot (what is THAT all about????)

I do wish you luck in the whole dating game and honestly you might want to consider moving out of Kansas to a metropolitan area. NYC, Chicago, San Fran (stay out of LA though unless you really want your body image to take a nose dive LOL) or even somewhere like Seattle or Boston or Atlanta or Milwaukee if you don't like the *big* big cities. The only reason I say that is because there are *more* people, and more variety in the people you will meet.

From some of your other posts it sounds like you're a big city (or at least suburb of a big city) girl trapped in a cornfield. But it's up to you to choose where you want to live - don't expect Mr. Right to move you up to NYC after 3 weeks of email...those types are rarely Mr. Right anyway

(in reply to HisSongstress)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:12:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Your self esteem couldn't get much lower. You are not drowning in a cesspool of dysfunction, you ARE a cesspool of dysfunction.

That's where you're wrong. People with low self esteems have to sling mud to make themselves feel good. You're a prime example of that. I, on the other am always trying to find ways to give others a confidence boost. How about instead of looking at poor me, we look at poor you? Why do you have to insult others to make yourself feel good?

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 10/2/2007 11:14:07 AM >

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:13:16 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

You obviously didn't bother reading any of my responses to these comments. Let me make something clear. THERE IS NO POOR ME. I saw a positive thread about bbw dommes being in demand and thought bbw subs as a whole would benefit from the same whether it helped their self esteem or simply brightened their day. The only thing you're sick of is my refusal to let negative comments lower my self esteem.

I personally fail to see how this thread that is focusing on the difficulty and hopelessness of finding a dominant because of body types and then proceeding to suggest that people take alternative routes such as switching or being a Dom, giving up on finding what they want in a person and settling for something less is "positive" or "brightening the day" of people.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:15:00 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Your self esteem couldn't get much lower. You are not drowning in a cesspool of dysfunction, you ARE a cesspool of dysfunction.

That's where you're wrong. People with low self esteems have to sling mud to make themselves feel good. You're a prime example of that. I, on the other am always trying to find ways to give others a confidence boost. How about instead of looking at poor me, we look at poor you?

Your posts are pretty passive-aggressive but mudslinging all the same. "Look at the bad men! They won't date older, bigger women!" You phrased it as trying to warn people but...

It's still mudslinging.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:16:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Your self esteem couldn't get much lower. You are not drowning in a cesspool of dysfunction, you ARE a cesspool of dysfunction.

That's where you're wrong. People with low self esteems have to sling mud to make themselves feel good. You're a prime example of that. I, on the other am always trying to find ways to give others a confidence boost. How about instead of looking at poor me, we look at poor you?

Yeah, if I was a older BBW sub, my confidence and attitude towards finding a Dominant would be sky high after reading your OP, let me tell you.

Hey, girls, just because your too old and fat to actually find what you want, you can always do alternate things and settle for something less! Come on...its not that bad...there is nothing wrong with settling for less than your desired relationship!

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:17:04 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Glad to hear it. Congrats to you both. I'm not saying no Dom ever wants an older bbw sub. There are always exceptions. There just seems to be a major double standard when comparing the number of male subs who prefer older bbw to the number of Doms who prefer older bbw.

But there again defiant, has it not been noted on numerous threads the differences between male submissives and female submissives? Let's look at a few...

a. Male submissives are more willing to be in touch with a pro Dominaant versus female submissives

b. Male submissives respond more excitedly to the humiliation factor to be found in "feminizing" them way more than female submissives (at least those who've posted on it) would to "masculinization"

c. Female submissives expect that much ...though clearly not all... of their D/s and BDSM involvement with a male dominant is going to be sexual in nature. Male submissives do not expect...though they may want...their D/s and BDSM involvement with a femdominant to be as sexual in nature as their female counterparts.

Men and women are different. Male dominants are clearly different from female dominants. And I am one of those that say "Let's celebrate that". While a person has every right to view a male dominant as being shallow because he does not want a BBW for a submissive, that is HIS choice. Surely we are not going to say that a person can indulge in whatever kink he wants to but he cannot indulge himself in the pleasure of being specific about what size woman he chooses to indulge that kink with, are we? That seems a little too Oprah-ish for me, a little too emotionally/politically correct and not a fit for something that is definitely politically incorrect and, some would say, emotionally incorrect.

And, in case you were wondering, I've stated on here before that my first submissive was about 5 ft. tall and weighed 225. My ex-wife was around 4 ft, 11 in and weighed in at 125. I have been with small women and big women. What I cared about was: did their sex drive match my own? Did they enjoy the darkness and sensuality of a good BDSM encounter? Did they comprehend what I meant by a D/s dynamic and did they agree with it? Finally...could they carry on a conversation about anything other than Britney Spears' latest debacle or how about how much they hated Bush/Hillary?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:19:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Hey, girls, just because your too old and fat to actually find what you want, you can always do alternate things and settle for something less! Come on...its not that bad...there is nothing wrong with settling for less than your desired relationship!

Pfht, fuck that. I don't need to settle. I've got a wide bottom that begs to be spanked and a stretch-marked tummy that is just right for rubbing and tickling.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:19:21 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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DBG, I won't repeat my last post on your mirror thread in the Master section but it wouldn't hurt you to read it and do some thinking.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:33:48 AM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
How about instead of looking at poor me, we look at poor you?

That's cool, but I would suggest you make an appointment, I'm kind of hard to catch up to. I'm not the one sitting around on message boards posting about how unattractive I am and how all the Doms are posers, abusers or shallow assholes who can't see past my stretch marks. I'm not sitting around here whining about how alone I am or how miserable my life is. I'm out living life and having a grand time doing it....so please, feel free to examine "poor me" and my pathetic life.....I'll see if I can work you into my schedule.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:35:03 AM

ChicagoSwitchMal

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Joined: 9/9/2007
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I'm popping some popcorn. This one is getting good.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:35:53 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It really makes me not want to go to the store. But we need groceries. *sigh*

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ChicagoSwitchMal)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:35:54 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

erin -
Ya know I would do you...

the.dark.
(.withlove.)

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:36:09 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I personally fail to see how this thread that is focusing on the difficulty and hopelessness of finding a dominant because of body types and then proceeding to suggest that people take alternative routes such as switching or being a Dom, giving up on finding what they want in a person and settling for something less is "positive" or "brightening the day" of people.

I first created a thread in Ask a Master after reading the wonderful responses in the Ask a Mistress thread. Was it my fault it didn't generate positive responses from as many different people as the other one did? This thread was about pointing out the differences in the two and a possible way that some may be able to work around it if they so choose. How is that settling for less? As for me, I don't currently have a partner because I refuse to settle for some Dom that expects the first meeting to be in a hotel room. Regardless of what many on here think of me, I know I'm better than that.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:38:28 AM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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holy crap dark....you're such a tease....I think I just BLUSHED!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 11:39:18 AM

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Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

well holy crap i didn't get to your post in your time because i was on a fucking train on the way back from a real life event...4 hours is not enough time to panic in honey buns...
i responded as soon as i got to it....just like i responded to this one, as soon as i got to it...this is effectively cross-posting...it was just cleverly disguised....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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