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Mentouring - 10/17/2007 3:33:00 PM

girlivy

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Hello and thank you for the time in reading and hopefully responding to this, i am new to the lifestyle, and have decided to seek a mentour. My question is this, are there "proper protocols" that one should adhere to, both Dom and sub please? Also if anyone can share some ups and down sides to having a mentour..
Thanks again (damn keyboard sticks!) heh,
Sincerely,
girlivy

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RE: Mentouring - 10/17/2007 3:45:05 PM

Jayxkes

Posts: 138
Joined: 7/8/2004
Status: offline

I suspect you've opened a can of worms here!

Mentoring can work within BDSM just as it can work in any number of other arenas. Each situation will be different and it's up to the people concerned to decide what suits them. I suspect you'll soon have a whole lot of rules thrust at you though.

If you feel a mentor would be good for you, go for it. Find someone who has the experience etc. and if you click and they are willing to mentor you, there's a very good chance you'll benefit from it.

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RE: Mentouring - 10/17/2007 3:59:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

The main point is to know what you want to be mentored in and find someone who is good at that. Basically, if you don't know what you want in a mentor or how to use good judgement, then you are doomed at the start.

Which is perhaps 1 in 500 of the actual people who would call themselves a "mentor" to you.

Why the need to find ONE person, rather than taking something from everyone?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_519882/mpage_1/key_mentoring/tm.htm#519990
What exactly is a mentor supposed to do for/with a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_95421/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#95421
Mentors/Protectors for newbies dom/domme?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_139851/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#139851
Out of my depth, patience and its virtues

http://www.collarchat.com/m_149477/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#149477
My advice for novice female submissives

http://www.collarchat.com/m_210166/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#210166
Mentors, what are they and how do they help?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_283883/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#283883
Mentors

http://www.collarchat.com/m_493886/mpage_1/key_mentors/tm.htm#493886
Mentors (2)

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Mentouring - 10/17/2007 4:05:38 PM

PryderiLoup

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
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I never had a lot of luck being a mentor. I do a lot better as a friend who advises. I think it has to do with my own personality...
I have to admit though, I have heard of more probems in these relationships than success. That may just be my experience. I really beieve that you have to do almost as much groundwork with a mentor as you do a potential dominant.

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RE: Mentouring - 10/17/2007 4:28:34 PM

girlivy

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
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Thnak you for the great advice! and the web sites
ivy

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RE: Mentouring - 10/17/2007 6:37:50 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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girlivy,

The following is my view only as there are a few here that follow a really different approach to mentoring.

What is it that you seek? a arena to siz up a potential dominant? Or is it a sage relationship of guidance where you can go for help without being hit on?

To be an effective mentor the person has to stay objective and cannot allow himor herself to slip into a / relationship as then true objectivity is lost. The D/s path is fine but it is strewn with sharp rocks and those who would take advantage of a newbe coming into the lifestyle or seeking to spread her wings further. So choose carefully.

CP

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