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RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/18/2007 9:50:19 PM   
FyreAngel


Posts: 55
Status: offline 		I think we all need to be responsible for ourselves and our own emotions.  I think, one shouldnt be around some one who so obviously wants to have such a negative impact on you.  I personally wouldnt want that kind of drama, negativity in my life.  I dont hit in anger and i would be disappointed in myself if i allowed some one to push me to break my own rules/morals/ethics.   Same goes with losing control.  

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/18/2007 9:52:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm fine with playing in anger, even punishing in anger, if, as with everything, the people involved know what's going on and can handle the consequences well enough.

But the real problem is the cause (misbehaving sub) and effect (dom using physical immediate reaction being controlled by the misbehavior)- neither of which are parts of a healthy authority dynamic relationship.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_953671/mpage_3/key_anger/tm.htm#954677
Anger??

http://www.collarchat.com/m_584154/mpage_1/key_anger/tm.htm#584247
Primal Zone

http://www.collarchat.com/m_403611/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#403617
Resistance, force, primal, wrestling, play rape, etc?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_336357/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#336362
Fighting back

http://www.collarchat.com/m_257243/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#257283
Fighting back for fun!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_157286/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#157426
Fighting Back

http://www.collarchat.com/m_139472/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#139477
A challenging submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_110661/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#110673
Force

http://www.collarchat.com/m_76392/mpage_1/key_force%2Cplay/tm.htm
The premise of forced play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_214517/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#214524
Releasing the beast within

http://www.collarchat.com/m_153621/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#153823
Rage

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(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 4:06:50 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES

A discussion arose today about whether or not a Dom/Master, who has had so many of his buttons pushed by his submissive/slave in a short span of time (an hour or less, in a manner designed to be mean and provoking)  - should with his anger fully inflamed, take to beating his slave - or - should he wait until his temper abates. Assume he did not react initially because he read that she was trying to incite him. The anger builds and finally he explodes. We're not talking play - we're talking a genuine interest/effort on the woman's part to infuriate him, likely because she was angry with him for some reason. What then?

My own thought is that one does not strike a submissive/slave when the man's anger is nearly out of control, no matter how badly she provokes him. The possibility of losing control, for some people at least, is very great. Others say give her a beating to remember and show her who is boss?  . Seems to me of she is poking at you like this, you don't really have a good relationship anyway and beating someone out of uncontrolled anger (as opposed to doing so with your head on straight) is dangerous.

Any thoughts?

She makes me angry, she gets *alone* time.  I'm bigger and stronger than most and I do NOT function well when angry and especially if someone is foolish enough to anger me deliberately.
 
The average submissive is an attention junkie and provoking me will not get her the attention she thinks - beyond getting frog-marched to the nearest corner.  She's human; she can get angry herself, including at me - I'm fine with that and we'll sort it out. 
 
But putting on some kind of exhibition at my expense????  Once, and only *once* is an honest mistake....
 
Focus.

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 4:16:10 AM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		No, one should never beat anyone in anger. It is far too difficult to know when enough is enough and it could potentially destroy the sub's trust in her dominant.

Having said that, Sir has ocassionally smacked me pretty hard on the ass- just one strike- to let me know i need to stop NOW.

As far as the original scenario, there is something else going on in that relationship that needs to be examined if it's out of character for the sub. If it's not, then i agree with the others who said he should dump her.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 5:00:36 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		>>Fast  Reply<<

I don't strike when angry.  That would just prove my inability to control myself, much less anyone around me.  I ignore.  And that ignoring will find the *s* gone from my life if the situation continues.

But then again, I use corporal in play, never for true punishment.

Like so many others have already mentioned, if there is that type of situation going on, there is a much deeper root that needs to be addressed.

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 5:15:13 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I am one that believes that punishment must come quick while the infraction is still fresh in their mind..I am not one to beat a slave into submission,I have other ways to deal with the problem.While I believe that punishment should be swift,a short period to think about the situation is good, sort of a cooling off period,As always justJust the opinion of this ol' Master

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 9:42:12 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Knock her block off and super glue her head back on. If she is pushing you that far then she is trying to tell you that she wants out of the relationship. Or then again you may have ignored her needs for to long.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 9:48:37 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I've always been under the impression that punishing when you were angry was a big no no for good safety reasons. I wouldn't punish when angry, but some do I've heard.

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 10:27:53 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline 		    As most have said here, to punish out of anger is not a wise move.
  I had an experience with a sub in the past where we were involved long distance. All the while we were online and on the phone she was a very submissive, very obedient little girl. When I went to meet her...A total brat, trying endlessly to push My buttons and see what she could get away with. Was I angry? Yes. I had just flown across the country to meet her and she wasted My time acting like a brat. Did I take it out on her physically? No. That would be lowering Myself to the level she was attempting to play on, thus, giving up control. The result? She was dismissed. Gone. Goodbye.
  I am, like most here, of the belief that one must control oneself before one can control another. My little girl has seen My anger, but has never seen it directed at her. She has offered herself to Me to use to vent My anger. While I thought it was a beautiful gesture, there was/is no way I would do such a thing. As I've told her..."You're the antidote for My anger." Just for the record...I rarely get angry. I'm very even tempered, and have a long fuse. But when it goes, it's best not o be around Me.
  I don't believe there is a place in WIITWD for anger. Far be it from Me to state this as anything other than My opinion. I've read that there are those who can and do use anger in "play." More power to them. It just doesn't work for Me.

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(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 11:17:37 AM   
licia71


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline 		This is totally off topic, but Cuffkinks, I love your signature.

:D

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 11:56:18 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm gonna break trend, and post something from the flip side of the coin.

One would think they need to not be Angry inorder to punish anybody.  Sure, it's an idealized concept to not punish when one is Angry.   Better said than done at times though.

The thing is to not let one's Anger Control them.  So punishing somebody while all pissed OFF to Helll and back again is bit of a personal issue.   Some people do maintain control while being very angry, other suck at it.

It's not an being Angry, It's about being in control.   Most people avoid connecting with Angar because they can't control it, and don't know how to deal with this emotion.  Anger is a human emotion, we are human beings full of a range of emotions.   Anger has become something that is shunned and avoided instead of dealt with  by many people.

Just what is control anyways?  Control is a relative term or word anyways?  Control according to what standards or expectation?

Now, there are some sub/slaves that will ACT out for punishment.  Some actually wanting to experience more of an Edge in the punishment.  The fact remains that this is a personal relationship dynamic to a point.  What is OK for others is not for others.

To punish or not to punish when extremely angry?  Rather subjective as to how well one can maintain control if you ask me.   Some people suck at maintaining control while very angry.    Personally for me, when I'm angry I find myself very calculating and in control and aware of myself.

"Frustration" is perhaps the emotional state best not to punish somebody.  The type of Frustration where one does not know what do or how to handle a situation is not good. 








(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 11:59:04 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I believe it's best to know the TYPE of ANGER involved here.  There many different types of Anger as well a Love and sadness.

(in reply to FyreAngel)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 12:30:56 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I would say that, yes, it is okay to administer physical correction (by whatever means is normal for the relationship) when one is furious so long as one is mature enough to do so without being out of control due to their anger.  One can be fully in control and acting appropriately while extremely angry.

If the person is incapable of such basic self-control, then no.  And it seems that is what the original post is really about:  Should someone who isn't in control of themselves take that lack of control out on another?  On that, my opinion is a firm and clear "no".

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(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 12:35:45 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

If my sub/slave was trying that crap with me, then he/she doesn't need to see me for a couple of days. 


Personally, this is largely my own thinking on this particular example.  The details given are those of a relationship so unhealthy already that I'd likely remove myself from the other person until *they* could get their behavior under control and talk to me about why they feel the way they do and if they were unable or unwilling to approach matters via healthy communication then the removal of myself from the relationship would likely need to change to a more permanent status.

I won't deal with someone who can't or chooses not to control themselves.  Nor with someone who will not communicate with me about anything that is bothering them and instead pitches a fit of some sort.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 12:45:25 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES

A discussion arose today about whether or not a Dom/Master, who has had so many of his buttons pushed by his submissive/slave in a short span of time (an hour or less, in a manner designed to be mean and provoking)  - should with his anger fully inflamed, take to beating his slave - or - should he wait until his temper abates. Assume he did not react initially because he read that she was trying to incite him. The anger builds and finally he explodes. We're not talking play - we're talking a genuine interest/effort on the woman's part to infuriate him, likely because she was angry with him for some reason. What then?



If a submissive is provoking their Dominant like this there is a reason why. I would be concerned that someone that angry might have ulterior motives, like having bruises and noise for the neighbors to notice, to take to the police. Add in a little sexual interaction and you've got not only an abuse rap but also rape added to the mix.

IMO this is a very dangerous situation for a Dominant. If a submissive/slave is acting out so poorly it is clearly NOT the time for physical interplay, unless one is ready to spend time in prison. Now that may be a turn on for some people, but not the Dominants I know.

Just my thoughts...........

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(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 12:45:27 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Handing out a punishment when one is that angry is a dangerous thing and should never be done. I pushed punishment on a slave 15 years ago...was extremely angry, although now I have forgottent what she did to get punished...I clearly regret ever doing so as I hurt her pretty bad. When one is that angry, it clouds your judgement. By all means, the sub should be punished...but I would suggest putting her away till a chance of calm comes first. I would also suggest trying to find out why so many buttons are being pushed in such short of time.

Good luck.

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 1:00:59 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		There's so many things wrong with the scene you've described that it's simply not worth getting into.

In short, if the sub acts like that, unless it's part of their dynamic, the Dom should just rip the collar off her neck.

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 1:19:07 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Yes, good point licia, I was going to say that it's possible to be angry without losing control.  I agree that it's a bad idea to punish someone while you're ENRAGED--when you can't focus on anything except how furious you are.  But sometimes the anger won't go away UNTIL you carry out the necessary punishment. 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
It is my personal opinion that a person should never engage in BDSM play when they are unable to control/manage their actions REGARDLESS of the emotions they are feeling. 
 


I just wanted to say it is so refreshing to read the voices of reason...
b

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 1:23:16 PM   
IronDuke99


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/19/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think in Master worth his salt would dream of beating his girl while he was angry. How could a man who cannot control himself control his woman anyway?

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Giving beatings when the Master/Dom is extremely angry - 10/19/2007 1:24:47 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'm afraid "reason" doesn't always apply to others; a point I'm all too well acquainted with.

In truth, one should not ever lose control; not losing control in BDSM is just an instance of this.  Losing control while raising your kids, while driving a car, while giving a presentation at work, while giving yourself a hair cut.. I mean, seriously, it's rather rare losing control isn't a bad thing that simply shouldn't be done.

In this story, the Dom should be able to control his emotions, including in being able to do away with the sub that inspires such negative ones.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 40
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