RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?

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RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 5:00:17 AM

Posts: 1108
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From: Buffalo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrizedPosession

There are some old souls in young bodies and to discriminate against an entire younger generation isn't only fair but it inhibits those that want to learn and may even make it difficult to approach others for approach because of mockery that they know what they want so young and are just looking for guidance.

see this is what bugs me about these threads...how are we to gain that experience that everyone claims we have to have if we have to sit around until we are 'old' enough? granted i'm not living in a dominant capacity right now but if i was, i wouldn't want to be told you're only 22 wait until you're 'old enough'. because who determines 'old enough'? when have i gained enough life experience to gain the label?

i agree that it's all relative but it is my respectful opinion to say that i won't take someone young because they're hormonal or don't have enough life experience or what have you is to potentially limit yourself from some awesome people as well as do a disjustice to an expectionally varied group of individuals.

_____________________________

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to PrizedPosession)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 5:08:05 AM

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fluffy 12 years old are wise beyound their years also . If you dont believe me ask one. How can you gain enough lifetime experience when you are only 22????

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 5:15:46 AM

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From: Buffalo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

fluffy 12 years old are wise beyound their years also . If you dont believe me ask one. How can you gain enough lifetime experience when you are only 22????

yes but who determines what's enough? my enough isn't going to be your enough isn't going to someone else's enough. there is no magic number where people stop making mistakes.

and how do you know that a 22 year old doesn't have enough? there are so many things that could have happened to a 22 year old that could place them on a similar level? it's what you do in those years that count. aa 40 year old who hasn't been 'knocked around' for lack of a better term as much as a 22 may very well be on the same level as the 22 year old. and frankly it's all in how you use it. i've known some people who have traveled the world and are still relatively immature because they don't learn from those experiences. i really don't want to talk about my life story and i don't really think that it's relevant anyway, but again to discount an entire generation just because we haven't been on the planet as long as someone else really does to me IMHO your mileage may vary whatever other disclaimers that you want including the term respectfully smack of institutionalized (societally ingrained) ageism. and honestly i think you will find that at least for a decent number of young dominants anyway (i'm aware not all) will find that if this is the professed view of older individuals in this community that it won't be an issue because they won't want to interact with someone with that mentality in the first place.

_____________________________

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 5:26:39 AM

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how can a grown woman be so iggnorant and judgmental?
let alone how can a "Domme" decide what best for people she doesnt know?
just goes to show with age doesnt come wisdom

and by the way, not all people find BDSM some people grow up inside the lifestyle
so maybe they 21 years of grooming and training

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 7:51:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

how can a grown woman be so iggnorant and judgmental?
let alone how can a "Domme" decide what best for people she doesnt know?
just goes to show with age doesnt come wisdom

and by the way, not all people find BDSM some people grow up inside the lifestyle
so maybe they 21 years of grooming and training

lol you should ask her, I can't answer her questions. I was 16 when I thought...wow I become a Master..all these slaves want sex ;)

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to backseatbebe)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:15:50 AM

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quote:

just goes to show with age doesnt come wisdom

And the wisdom in this remark is....????

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(in reply to backseatbebe)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:16:43 AM

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it's not the age...it's the mindset, maturity level, and respect they show among other thing but, the mindset and maturity level are what i look for the most.

Why am i not with anyone in my own age group......that would be why, i dont see a single "Dominant" in that age group that I could possibly be compatible with, what do they need to do, get a job, get away from the video games, and grow some knowledge / grow a brain and then maybe we can talk.

It sucks because here i am, ready to settle down, ready to have kids but my God these guys seem so immature.

~meticulous~

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:18:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

wow, that's cool, poenkitten :) sounds like you raised a fine man :)

Yeah, I am pretty proud of him, He's a bit of a workaholic though..sigh, he will learn.

he was also on CM apparently but felt it was a bit too strange to be on the same board as his Mom. Hehe..little does he know..I am everywhere..like every good Mom.

poenkitten

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:28:58 AM

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I'm too lazy to read the whole of this thread (how immature of me). And I admit, I'm a female dominant, in the "Ask a Master" room (how pushy of me).

But if we can take a moment away from the orgy of pidgeonholing people and limiting them, based on our preconceived notions,...if someone feels the desire to be dominant - feels they are dominant, - if that's how they're built, who is anyone else to say, 'deny who you are, because we say otherwise'?

What new dominants need is mentoring and training by example. Not discouragement and patronizing.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:33:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

fluffy 12 years old are wise beyound their years also . If you dont believe me ask one. How can you gain enough lifetime experience when you are only 22????

..if you think 12-year old's are all wise beyond their years, maybe you just have a distorted view of how wise a normal 12-year old is?

And if you have a distorted view of how mature an average twelve year old is, it stands to reason that you may also have a distorted view of how mature an average twenty-two year old is.

But what I'm not sure if you're understanding is that.. we don't all need a lifetime worth of experience to get enough out of it to be a mature individual.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:41:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

fluffy 12 years old are wise beyound their years also . If you dont believe me ask one. How can you gain enough lifetime experience when you are only 22????

I dunno but judging by some folks around here, 50 ain't old enough either so I'm going to go for what interests me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:47:36 AM

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To say that you know it all at 22 is BS. I don't care how old you are you never know it all. If you think so at 12 or 22 then you are the one who is distorted. I when thru a lot of life before I was 22 and a lot more after. I respect someone at any age but they have a lot of catching up to do before they are my equal.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:56:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

To say that you know it all at 22 is BS. I don't care how old you are you never know it all. If you think so at 12 or 22 then you are the one who is distorted. I when thru a lot of life before I was 22 and a lot more after. I respect someone at any age but they have a lot of catching up to do before they are my equal.

Saying you know it all at 50 or 60 is equally bullshit or that they aren't your equal. I mean, what kind of "knowing it all" are we talking about? I can already run circles around plenty of 50 year olds when it comes to history and other things. I don't know anything about buying a house yet but I'll figure that out when I need to. I've already learned that trust and open communication are vital to healthy relationships and frankly, there seems to be a lot of people older than me who missed that section of class.

This idea that you are somehow better because you've been around longer is laughable. The technical skills needed to top aren't that damn hard to learn though they take time to perfect (and the only time I've ever seen someone do some really fucking stupid was also someone well over my age and my owner's age). How many times have we listened to someone who is "old enough to know better" make basic relationship mistakes?

And, since you are so keen on the idea, what is your age limit for accepting girls? Surely a man of your age and wisdom realizes that becoming owned is no less than becoming an owner and only accept people of a certain age.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/30/2008 8:57:49 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 8:57:39 AM

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Think I will toss in ..ummm oOOOo I got 1.56 in pennies!!! WoW! There is always going to be a question of Nature verses Nurture. There are always going to be children on the playground who are leaders or followers. They are very easy to identify. Look for the one who everyone is following. Look for the nurturers, the imaginative, the bossy. No not the bullies, the bossy, they are totally different people. You can see the Doms and Subs forming up even in kindergarten. Not sexually, personality wise. Some 5-10% of these children know what they are going to grow up to be, they have the course of their lives already set out. whether, Dancer, Vet, Policeman, Fireman, Doctor or Nurse, they already know what they want to do and few of those children let anything stand in their way of achieving it. Perhaps 1% of these children will kink sexually and grow up to be Msaters, Mistress's, etc.

So why do I pick out the Nurturer's and not just the Bossy? Because when all is said and done, that is what Master's and Mistresses do. They nurture. In their hands submissives and slaves grow. They see the potential behind the needs, wants, desires and fear and help it to blossom.

It is a two way street, for the sub/slave as well is a nurturer. They help the Master et. al to become the best they can be as well, if everything is right. We know they have feet of clay, that they are not without fault, doubts, days when they want to pull the covers over their heads and hide and love them anyway, with all our hearts. We place our lives in their hands the way nothing else outside of a child can and give them our faith and trust. They accept us with all our baggage and needs, and we do the same.

Is there an age in which a Master becomes a Master? No. No more than there is one in which a submissive becomes one. They may not have found BDSM by the time they are 21 or even 40, but that does not stop them from being what they are. Master of their fate and leaders of others. They may never kink, may never have need for sadism, Bondage, and all the other things that make up this life choice, but they are out there at every age, taking the (un)wounded under their wings, nurturing them, leading them, guiding. They still stand as Firemen, Doctors, Nurses, Police, et. al. everyday heros who take the safety and well being of others as a personal responsibility and challenge. That doesn't mean that all of them are or are not Dominants. It means they are people with a strong sense of responsibility for others and they show up at every age in the book and make their mark on the world.

You only have to be 25 to run for a political position, 35 to run for President of this country. You can be Queen/King at any age in countries with a monarchy. Priest, Minister, Nun at 20, fight and die for your country at 18 or become a Police Officer/Firefighter at 18. One doctor I had didn't look old enough to shave, he was 23 and liscensed. If I can place my life and those of my loved ones in their hands, then I recognize that any one of them is also capable of learning to swing a whip, responsibly use a paddle, or Master another human being. At any age. It is the person not the years, that counts.

Master is 39, 40 in March, I am 55 as of a week ago. He is my Master and has earned that right despite all that i am older than him.

poenkitten

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:01:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Exquemelin

Ok I'm 24, my sub is 22. For both of us this is our first BDSM relationship. Who knows, maybe that 3 years makes all the difference in the world to you but I'll assume it doesn't. Should she have instead searched for a 40 year old master? Obviously I can't provide her with what she needs, I mean being close to the same age as her obviously ruins our shot in at making this work, right? And I guess I gotta go back to testing my toys on my leg and practicing my aim on pillows. Maybe I can go to the local play party and watch, cause obviously I can't play being only 24. I suppose I need what probably 10 more years of haning out in dungeons and going to fetish conventions before I can take a sub. I guess if you're a 40 year old master looking for 22 year old sub you should send me an email, I mean I've come to the light. I can't take care of her. Somebody's got to, and at least I can put you in contact with her. I understand maybe you don't want a Master 10, 15, perhaps 20 years younger than you but guess what. I wasn't especially interested in a sub, 10, 15 or 20 years older than me either. Sorry I wasn't not just looking for somebody to say "Yes, Sir" I was looking for somebody to explore with, grow with, and if we're lucky fall madly in love if. I suppose that could have happened with somebody significantly older but I saw it much more likely to be with somebody around the same age. Seeing the light, Ex

BRAVO!!!!! See? THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BABY!!!! I am so happy for the both of you. I met my husband/Master when he was 21 and I was 23. Obviously, by your sarcastic remarks about testing your equipment and aim on your leg and pillows, you obviously had safety in mind when you first started out.

This isn't rocket science, folks. If we trust 16 year olds to drive cars at 55 miles an hour on the freeway, then can't we give them a little bit of respect/trust in this effin' "scene"? Newsflash: There are stupid people walking amongst us, and guess what? THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT AGES. This guy here may be 24, but he is just as safe as a 40 year old when it comes to knowing how to familiarize himself with a new striking implement.

Exquemelin, you deserve much respect. You seem like you've got it right. The two of you are having fun, you're making safe decisions, and you're learning and growing together. I wish you both the very best, and yes, I hope you do fall madly in love. My husband and I have had an absolute blast being married for almost 10 years. The sex has never been boring, and all our friends keep asking us, "What's your secret? Why are you guys so happy?" HA! If they only knew!

OH- and PS: My Master STILL to this day will never strike me with anything until he's tested it on himself first. He wants to learn how to use a single tail. You bet your ass he'll be practicing on something other than my ass for a looooooooong time, regardles of the fact that he has 10+ bdsm experience.

_____________________________

Wife/property of CapnSpankins...and loving every minute of it! Visit my juicy blog http://www.kinkycrafts.info/gorgeous-blog/gblog.php for updates on my slave training!

(in reply to Exquemelin)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:05:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

To say that you know it all at 22 is BS. I don't care how old you are you never know it all. If you think so at 12 or 22 then you are the one who is distorted. I when thru a lot of life before I was 22 and a lot more after. I respect someone at any age but they have a lot of catching up to do before they are my equal.

That's fine if you feel this way. But this is a thread about being mature enough to be a Master; if you're only lately mature enough to be a Master, then this would suggest that your position is mistaken as many younger people are obviously there. We're having healthy, happy relationships. Minus some of the ego, perhaps. ;)

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:05:46 AM

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I always keep learning...even form the students I guide at work. Their fresh views can be nice. But also from the more experienced older people, who can give for every problem a reason and solution.
IF you stop learning.....you stand still.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to gorgeous1)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:07:15 AM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

To say that you know it all at 22 is BS.

To say you know it all at 60 is too

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:17:48 AM

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Here is the thing. I personally don't care how many 21yo people call themself a master. I honestly don't understand why anyone does. You can call yourself a flipping fairy or the queen of the universe for all I care. Just don't get your drawers in a wad if I laugh at you.

If it does not affect my life, or anyone that is in my life in any way, I just purely don't give a shit. Give me one good reason why I should and I will contemplate the topic.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/30/2008 9:18:54 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 1/30/2008 9:24:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

wow, that's cool, poenkitten :) sounds like you raised a fine man :)

Yeah, I am pretty proud of him, He's a bit of a workaholic though..sigh, he will learn. he was also on CM apparently but felt it was a bit too strange to be on the same board as his Mom. Hehe..little does he know..I am everywhere..like every good Mom.

poenkitten

LOL

(in reply to BlackPhx)

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