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RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:03:16 PM

Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound?

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free.

You might try an injunction, too.

_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:04:57 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
where is, is there a protocol?....because not only do i want to take responsibility for my recognition that i feel crap, but i want suggestions as to how to do it which DOESN'T make it his fault....

Well, if he is not the One, then he is not your master, but a master. Then it is not his fault. Simply say that you made a mistake when you thought that he was your master.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
there's nothing coming back to me except a comment that i impressed him, and i am his top slut

So how many does he have, what are their names and addresses, how many of them have you met? I get the impression that he is not committed to you and simply fucking his way around the country.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
i am pansexual, a pain slut, and a switch he goes in essence...

A switch... Unfortunately I do not know what the mind of a switch is like.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
above all i want Him to be the one....but at the same time where on the planet is He and who is He with that means a mobile phone call won't be made

Sounds to me like he is married...

< Message edited by Rule -- 1/30/2008 4:06:37 PM >

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:08:23 PM

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

pffffffffffffffffffffffffff!!! There went my wine (not to be confused with whine).

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to GrizzlyBear)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:09:38 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia
DON'T make any decisions right now. You're mind isn't clear enough, you're unwell, you're upset. As hard as it is, you need to put this on the back burner for a little while, until you can look at the situation from an angle that allows you to see the whole of the relationship. Right now you're focusing on the negative things that are making you feel bad. Decisions made when we're not focusing on the whole are invariably regretted.

Quite. Sensible advice from MM. I agree.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:23:26 PM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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If you always do, what you've always done,
You'll alway's get, what you've alway's got.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:36:20 PM

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

the OP knows what she needs. she says shes a counselor, and there are at least two other counselors in on this thread. all have said the same thing.

she knows what she needs, but does she want it? if so, why is this discussion up to five pages?

OP, i really hope you dont allow this much drama when dealing with your clients.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 4:36:40 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

In this instance you are making assumptions that are entirely not the case.

I make no assumption in this case. You live your life and your relationships in a very public manner here at this community, and that is an undeniable fact.

quote:

The internet is and never has been a substitute. I have very dear and long lasting friendships, of a kind that are unconditional and meaningful and dare i say it perfect...

As perfect as this now rotten relationship was proclaimed to be on several occasions? Do you talk about your relationships like this with your real time friends and family? If you do, then why the need to do it here? You have every right to do so, and I'm not complaining. I'm just askin, ya know?

quote:

i do real-time bdsm intensely so and i don't feel the need tp prove it to you...

This has nothing to do with real time BDSM or your need to prove it to me or anyone else. Particularly so when I haven't called it into question. What I have questioned is why you are using such a public forum on an electronic box in which to bare your soul. It's the functional equivalent of shouting about your relationship and emotional roller coaster ride to a few friends in a restaurant such that everyone (including the strangers) can hear you.

It's inappropriate at the least.

And don't give me some BS about your friends being here. If you wanted to share with your friends you'd do so in private email. Nope, there's something about doing it in a very public fashion that appeals to you... kinda like the public wailing one sees at certain ethnic funerals. You crave the public attention.

Cripes, it even gives rise to the question of whether you intentionally sabotage your relationship in order to access the public trough of sympathy. Particularly so when the latest event is a week long trip out of town that is portrayed as "abandonment". You're a therapist... think about it.

quote:

indeed the intensity of my reality is one of the reasons i am not afraid to post here, on collarme, as opppsed to other sites because it is not a substitute but a very intelligent and well meaning forum, where i have made exceptional real life and cyber friendships.

As previously noted, people do not act like this in real life. They simply do not live their lives in such a public fashion. And if they do, I'd be willing to bet that as a therapist you might consider that symptomatic of some problem.

It's simply not accurate to compare what you do here with what people do in real life.

quote:

And actually it does give me many of the tools i need to support me; web links, prior postings, turns and twists of disclosures that sustain me and i wouldn't want to go back to the world of scarcity that i experienced before the internet brcame another form of communication in my life.

.Read that passage again. Read it a hundred times if you have to. If you don't see replacement of real life in those words, I'll eat my hat. If you don't see a lonely woman who is lost without the internet, I'll eat my shorts along with the hat. Turn off the box and get out there and force yourself to make the connections with real life that you've replaced with online connections.

quote:

If you don't like my spew and feel the need to throw a wet towel over it then please please do. And i don't have the energy to hate anyone right now.

John centred universe as i said before just is not supportive.....
perhaps you might need advice one day...who knows.

It may not seem like it right now, but this advice is for your own good. Certainly not for my benefit. In fact, I'll take a lot of crap for saying it (including yours). But then, staying quiet wouldn't do you any good. And in that respect, I consider this very caring and supportive. Often times the "right" thing to do (yeah, as I see it but that has to be my guide) isn't the easy thing to do.

Perhaps one day you may thank me for it.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 5:15:05 PM

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Rover,

You are a good person and an honorable man. Most of us recognize your truths and your tough love. The OP is just having too much fun at her own Pitty party.

"Its my potty, and I'll cry if I want too"

But honey, dont cry over poop.

(in reply to Rover)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 6:56:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Rover,

You are a good person and an honorable man. Most of us recognize your truths and your tough love. The OP is just having too much fun at her own Pitty party.

"Its my potty, and I'll cry if I want too"

But honey, dont cry over poop.

I told my best friend that if she ever wants validation and attention rather then problem solving she'd better come right out and say it because it's not my forte.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 7:13:05 PM

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

John, that was excellent. i hate it when you rip someone, youre so harsh! i hope in never on the other end!
but when you come off with the truth like this, ya, its excellent, well done.

but i want to throw this out there, just in case anyone is misinformed.
there is a very big difference between a therapist and a counselor.
becoming a counselor is a two year certificate program that can be taken at any community college,
while becoming a therapist takes quite a bit more time, up to six years.
the OP stated that she is a counselor.

(in reply to OmegaG)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 7:33:44 PM

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I did not read through all the post as I have to leave for work but point is every master has their way of doing things and love and affection in not an entitlement of requirement of a master to give, so instead of laying blame on him accept it for what it is poor compatibility, same problem I had with my previous relationship, and asked for my leave not as blame but due to poor match it was my own fault for not asking or understanding prior. With that knowledge I gained it became one on the first topics inorder that know if his view of D/s was the same as mine and to ensure affection and aftercare and what it meant would be part of the relationship.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 7:36:00 PM

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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I agree with Rover and SimplyMichael as usual.

Get a grip. Your a fully grown woman. This is pathetic.

And that is all the Internet advice I am going to contribute to this Internet bullshit, because that's all it really deserves over the Internet.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 7:51:10 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

John, that was excellent. i hate it when you rip someone, youre so harsh! i hope in never on the other end! but when you come off with the truth like this, ya, its excellent, well done.

really, I kind of hope I am! What I mean is, if I am on a slippery slope and John gave me his frank insights, it would hurt but I would recognize it as the truth.

So, If I ever need it...please bitch slap me silly. i will thank you later.

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 7:55:53 PM

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

nooooo Luscious! i dont ever wanna screw up that bad! no way no way no way!!!

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 8:00:14 PM

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well just in case you go into a subfrenzy and loose your mind and will to make decisions for your own mental health,We'll be standing in line to give you a smack down!

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 8:05:05 PM

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
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ok lol, good point. good lookin out,
and thank you!

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 8:19:57 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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FR

I don't think you really want to change and grow- I've pointed out your pattern and predicted your next steps for a few cycles now. Every time I try to warn you, you simply dismiss me.

Here you are again. You can't even say you weren't warned this time.

Take responsibility and stop whining. I know forums love a good drama and you'll always have something of a captive audience, but this uses up just about the last of your sympathy points. Take care on that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 8:51:13 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I do not know your patterns as I have been AWOL from here for a few months till recenty but I believe you need to deal wth your self esteem issues. It is your responsibility to take care of your well being, what good are you to anyone including yourself if you are an emotional train wreck.

I agree sub-drop can bring on some really intense and at times negative feelings but it is a part of the flying process, at least for me it is and if Sir isn't around due to his schedule at times I always make sure I have someone I can reach out to.

As far as his going away for a week is far from abandonment, sheeesh Sir is going away for 2 weeks next week in the Yucatan Jungles backpacking with his buddy with no cell phone service, my only concern is His well being while he is gone (Jaguars, the furry kind, poisonous snakes, army ants...shudder). It is my responsibility the next two weeks to take care of myself as I have done my entire life.

If he claims you are his Top slut then you aren't his only one and only you can decide if that is what you want, to be one of few or many. As far as asking his permission to leave is utter bullshit, if you are not happy or your needs not being met then leave. You do have choices start utilizing them instead of being overly dramatic.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 9:21:10 PM

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Joined: 10/8/2007
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How do i say goodbye
How much must i take before i go away
How long do you think ill stay here and not be used
How did you stop deciding to use my body
How many times can i be ignored
How many nights do you expect me to stay when you treat me this way
How many times has my heart been broken do you know
How much have i given up and get nothing in return
How much have i left behind for your rewards and received none
How much was it worth it or was it not at all
How much can my heart break
How will i tell you im going away
How will you know im even gone
How much do you care
How do i say goodbye ( I gently turn his hands over, placing the collar with one final
squeeze, no words I turn and walk away)

_____________________________

~its hard to stumble when you are already on your knees~

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master - 1/30/2008 10:50:58 PM

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In several other threads you have labeled yourself as an emotional masochist. This thread makes me question your previous statements. I’m thinkin’ you need to figure out if you simply say it to make yourself believe a good relationship (for you) includes that dynamic. Or are there limits to how much emotional aloofness is tolerable to you?
I’m suggesting you need to take a good hard look. Are you trying to make yourself into somebody you are not in order to keep him?
Ownedgirlie had a great point; it is pretty clear he isn’t going to change and so it would benefit you to change how you react. Many options are open to you; from embracing his emotional sadism to deciding it really is not what you want.
If you wanna be happy, you are the only one who can make the choices for that to happen.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Prinsexx)

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