RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH?

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RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:06:49 PM

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I know if I was your friend and you had done that, whether I asked you or not, and you knew I was upset by the situation and you carried on I would question whether my friendship was important to you or whether you just wanted to prove a point more.

Just because a friends asks for something and you agree does not in my opinion give you the right to cause pain that is negative because your enjoying yourself too much.

Would I call you a bitch nah? But the fact that you yourself are actually asking for peoples opinion suggests some where you have at least one guilty thought for such and realise you may have done wrong by your friend.

By all means I do hope your friend calls you and she is ok with everything once a few days has passed and she has had time to calm down but do not be too surprised if she does not and you have risked a friendship because you for your own enjoyment/reasons and wishing tomake a point to her did nto take the time to stop and check that she was fine with the situation.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:13:08 PM

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OP, I'm with Lockit and Lips. I'm dominant, but I would never put a scene before a friendship. That doesn't make me less dominant, it makes me a good friend.

Doing anything that was obviously emotionally hurting someone isn't a dominant thing to do. Just a bitchy thing to do.

By the way you are expressing yourself, you seem to be fairly emotional right now yourself. No poster here is going to "feel better" if you call your friend. Maybe YOU need to calm down before doing anything else.

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:26:05 PM

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OK, I'm a BITCH...

Diane

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:28:15 PM

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I'm not sure. I keep trying to turn this around in all kinds of ways.
Are you sure you weren't just trying to prove to yourself, and your friend, the power you had?
If so, that's probably a bad thing.
Especially if you hurt someone. (and/or their primary relationship)
I disagree with what you said, btw about lockit. I think she offered her opinion respectfully but forcefully.
Just because she wouldn't have handled things the way you did (kind of bullyish) doesn't make her less of a domme. It may even make her more. But, that is not my judgment to make.
I hope you and your friend can talk this out, and make this into a growth experience for everyone.

Well wishes;

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(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:37:40 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
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From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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Fast Reply~

I do not know Diane personally. I do know myself.

If this situation was presented to me, I'd make sure that both gagged parties had a safe signal in place. If neither party used that safe signal, regardless of how distressed they may have appeared, I would not have stopped.

Some people enjoy pushing their own limits - even if it is difficult for them to do so. They may have mixed emotions afterward, they likely need reassurance that the friendship still exists. However, if they did not signal, then they are just as responsible as the dominant party to their currrent state of well-being.

Distress is often HOT during a scene! Distress can often feed a sadist. Distress does not mean irreparable damage.

I certainly would have contacted my friend later that evening, or the next day, to see how she was doing, and to find out what was causing the distress. Was it the fact that I, her friend, was doing her boyfriend that bothered her? Was it that it appeared that her boyfriend was enjoying it very much and she wasn't the one providing it? Was it a combination of both? Was it something altogether different? After such a discussion, I would assure my friend that I will be here for her to discuss it further if she feels she has the need. However, I would not accept blame if a signal was in place and she opted not to use it.

Until Diane specifies whether or not a signal was in place, is it actually fair to fault her? Perhaps her friend wanted to experience the jealousy to see if she could tolerate it. We simply do not know.

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 4/2/2008 4:40:40 PM >

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:40:01 PM

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I'm on the phone with her right now..(She called me) BRB.

Diane

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:42:42 PM

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Joined: 6/16/2006
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No you are not a BITCH. your friend asked you to make HER fantasy come true, and like most fantasies it turn out to be a better dream than reality. live and learn.

And no you did nothing wrong if once in it you realized she was uncomfortable, after all a big part of anyone being a cuckold is the experience of being humiliated, and made jealous by the other person using your partner.

lastly it is always a good idea to check on someone you scened with after an intense and possibly confusing scene took place. you say she is your friend and you are obviously also confused about the situation why not just call her and discuss it. can't hurt and might get her to bring him back for another reaming (LOL)

either way if she never asked you to stop, nor requested or used a safe word you did nothing wrong and should use this as the learning experience it is meant to be. ALWAYS give new partner a safe word, so there is no possiblity of you crossing a line they aren't ready to cross.

~Mistress Angeoline~

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:47:35 PM

TermsConditions

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One of my few times in handcuffs I thought to myself, it takes a certain kind of cop to ride a motorcycle.

Put another way, it takes a certain kind of woman to swing a Louisville Slugger at a guy's bound ass. For an hour. While his girlfriend is tied and gagged in attendance.

I think the OP is showing off by posing the question. But a Dominant Bitch? Hell yeah!

Diane's profile clearly states "I'm very spoiled and I always get my way..." I think everyone involved knew what they were getting and got what they were looking for.

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:47:36 PM

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well, i dont think bitch is the term i would use.

but that sounds like one of the most UNdominant and Unprofessional things i have ever heard.

and it seems to me that this thread was more of a "look at me" " look what i say i did" kind of thread. and that's sad.

(in reply to LovingNcruelMs)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:48:23 PM

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OK, She called to say she was sorry for acting like a little bitch, She also said, she was mad at me for not letting in on the fun.
Believe it or not, she wants to do it again.

Diane

(in reply to LovingNcruelMs)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:51:47 PM

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yeah right*rolls my eyes*

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:55:38 PM

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I've always equated the term "bitch" with being out of control; a woman who has to get her way by being obnoxious, rather than by means of leadership. Is that what you meant, Diane, when you asked if you were being a bitch?

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:56:33 PM

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Go crawl under your rock...

Diane

(in reply to sothernnyte)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 4:56:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

OK, She called to say she was sorry for acting like a little bitch, She also said, she was mad at me for not letting in on the fun.
Believe it or not, she wants to do it again.

Diane

I was this close to posting "I'll be she calls and wants you to do her next" but I wimped out.

The only thing this thread lacks is the open salutation: "Dear Penthouse Letters..." ;-)

I'm not calling BS; I'm saying it's perfect. ;-)

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:00:07 PM

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Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.

Did you break that trust with your friend?

If you did, then I think she would call you a bitch.

But she isn't completely innocent either, she obviously underestimated her jealousy.

Mistakes were made.

It's up to you how you handle things now outside of the moment.

(in reply to LovingNcruelMs)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:01:01 PM

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Joined: 6/16/2006
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cracks ME up how the newbies feel they have enough experience in BDSM to give an opinion. if this was a vanilla situation u;d be right but this isn't nilla it's D/s and in this situation one person ASKED to be made to watch and suffer.

and while of course Diane could be BSing about the call, most newbies (which is what her friend was to this experience) walk away from most new experiences feeling guilty and conflicted as their vanilla side wrestles with their BDSM side. in the end however most people come back and try it again, and again and again.

~Mistress Angeoline~

(in reply to sothernnyte)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:01:03 PM

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Joined: 11/22/2005
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i'm already under a rock. my Maam only let's me out for 15 minutes a day. now She is the real Bitch

(in reply to TermsConditions)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:17:02 PM

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haha

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(in reply to sothernnyte)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:21:10 PM

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Fast reply

Thank you all for the great replies,

Diane

(in reply to camille65)

RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? - 4/2/2008 5:25:45 PM

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i am only a "newbie" in that i do not post here often. however, i have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years. so... i think i do know a little bit, maybe not everything... but then no one here or anywhere else does either.

(in reply to DianeB269)

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