Noah
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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leatherist
quote:
ORIGINAL: CalifChick
They know how to sit up, roll over and play dead?
Cali
Or learn how to play "victim" 
Is it the phase of the moon aligning with the seasonal shift or something? Somebody goes along being a perfectly fine member of the body politic here for a frew weeks, maybe a month or two, then out comes this tired, sad narrow diatribe generalizing a cross a whole bunch of people he hasn't so much as met or even heard of.
A million people have Personal Trainers and are not called upon to declare for whom they are being trained. Firemen seemed to be trained without having to declare for which fire they are being trained. Equestrians are trained without having to declare in advance which horse they are being trained for. Teachers are trained without having to declare which particular student or class they intend to teach.
These facts don't seem to bother anyone, and yet a submissive who wants to explore and perhaps grow into an aspect of herself must--in someone's Brave New World of Kink--stand and account for herself in this special way.
How interesting.
It is easy enough to throttle one's imagination down narrowly enough that one could envision a world in which the notion of training in BDSM makes no sense or is inherently abusive. This would strike me as a curious pastime, though.
Ignoring, over the span of years, many many insightful responses from many quarters which have offered to show how indeed training can be and is undertaken to very good effect is a pastime I would characterize differently.
Part of the problem for someone seems to be a carved-in-stone scruple about how it is immoral /abusive for anyone imparting training to engage in sex with a trainee.We are left to wonder about what youthful experience might have put this particular warp in a board which seems otherwise capable of supporting a broad range of sexual possibilities.
I guess these reliably periodic threads are a sort of public service. They showcase for us all the segment of the population who subscribe to someone's One True Way that training can be other than silly or abusive. But be careful about revisiting old threads on the matter. You'll find that someone is shown flipping back and forth regarding almost any particular aspect of his diatribe, almost always backing down from any particular he is carefully challenged on, only to re-assert it later, perhaps in the hope that his prior challengers are absent that day. Or maybe he just can't help himself.
If you're interested in being trained in some sense of the word that resonates for you, note well the individuals posting to this thread and their contributions and proceed accordingly.
If you're interested in finding a friend or partner lacking any better means to prop up his or her ego than to attack someone else's approach to kink a thread like this can also be instructive.
I don't recall ever advertising myself as a trainer. Like any other reasonably intelligent adult else I can see that claiming that status could help put one in a position to do a great deal of damage, or perhaps a great deal of good ... kind of like the fireman, I guess. But then, does this not apply with exactly equal emphasis to someone claiming to be a top or a dominant or a BDSM sadist? In fact, does this not apply with equal emphasis to someone claiming to be a bottom or a submissive or a masochist as well?
Barring the memory and psychological effects of some youthful experiences in regard to which we could all be compassionate, what would motivate someone to go through these cycles of obvious tumescence about the one risk while never being motivated to rant about any of the others?
The level of intellectual and emotional maturity indicated by adopting a position such as "Anyone who self-identifies with T-word is (insert derogation here) " speaks for itself, I think, when it is applied across the board to a potentially vast number of people for whom the word "T" might very well mean a hundred different things in each case.
When this Toxic T-Word rant occurs time after time, year after year, even in the wake of numerous testimonials of people who report that they have enriched their lives by means of the very thing under attack, the ranting stands, in my view, as a marker of a sad weakness in the character of the ranter who might otherwise be an exemplary memebr tof the community.
My suggestion to anyone would be to feel free to enumerate the risks of anything you care to. Meanwhile, try to display the modest level of integrity required to resist the urge to paint with a wide and careless brush anyone who prefers to engage in kink a little differently than you do, or to self-identfy with a word which for some reason gives you the heeby-jeebies.
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RE: Official Training Standards - 
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