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RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 9:10:39 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
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In the beginning; before there was light and air, before the dinosaurs roamed freely...(about 6 months ago)
i was looking for physical experiences and looking to explore my pain tolerance. i found dominant men who identified as sadists and got to work. It was relatively clinical and only got muddled when everyone involved forgot to communicate their needs openly, including myself. Once communication was resumed, everything got back on track. i set the situation up during the height of my frenzy and still managed to maintain some semblance of personal boundaries and made decisions based on my own set of personal values. Will my playing and exploring with experienced dominant men cause me to lose out on being with my "one twue Dom"? Doubtful, but possible. i've researched the heck out of this and learned so much, but there is only so much i can read. i need to integrate it all into my life and the only way i can do that is to DO that. Not one of my new friends would begrudge me leaving if i found someone i wanted to spend all my time with. And not one of us feels that we got something over on the other by playing and hanging out.
That, i think is the key ingredient...some sort of relationship outside of the "training".

(in reply to Leatherist)

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RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 9:26:35 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Honey!!! you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!!

*searches desperately for the application, admission packet any freaking thing*

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 162

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 10:24:37 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
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I can understand where your comming from fully CD, but not everyone takes that mentality away from every situation. The only two I compare my partner too is my Father and my actual Blood brother. My Dad taught me everything to want in a man Honesty, Respect, Kindness, Patience, Humor. My brother taught me everything I dont want in a man. Disrespect, abusive, theif, drug use, irresponsbility.
   Do my past partners have some of each of these traits? Yes.
   Do I go well I yada yada yada My Ex... yada yada yada? No I do my best not to.
   If sharing a past experience on something I fear or had a bad experience with I talk with my partner about it I say something along the lines of.
   I wanted to talk to you about something. In the past I had partner who wanted to try xyz. He showed it to me on another girl as to ease the fears I already had over xyz. Hed been doign xyz for 10 or so years. A couple of days later the girl called after she got out of the e.r. that the xyz session, he had mishit, and cause this and this to go wrong, but she would be just fine in a few days. ...If you would want to try xyz with me its going to take some time for me to get over my fears of trying it. I will work my best on getting over these fears, but its going to take some time for me to say ... D type... tonight I want you to do xyz to me.
I learned when I was about 6 or 7 (first grade) that I can do it my way I can do it your way I can do it her way I can do it his way. Each way has their advantages and each way has their disadvantages. I have the choice to choose what way I want and have to deal with both the advantages and disadvantages (this was in learning how to read)
    I also learned that people can be wrong, and to be human they will be at times. (my teacher told me that potion was prenounce position)

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Kalista07)

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Post #: 163

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 10:51:22 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Honey!!! you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!!

*searches desperately for the application, admission packet any freaking thing*

psssst... Travelocity.com (or any other favorite travel site); get a plane ticket to Edmonton, AB; then rent a car and drive 6 hours north and west... there are not a lot of road options to head that far north, so you can't really miss it.

Do all that and your golden!!!! But hurry, you will want to beat the rush. Oh, and by the way, it snowed yesterday and there are flurries again today, so bring your winter gear.

See ya soon,

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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Post #: 164

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 10:56:36 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Kitten, there is a huge difference between trying, learning, experimenting, watching, gleaning, etc., and going to someone for TRAINING. As long as you're not going into experimentation with the mindset that you are in TRAINING, then it's all good and it's called LIFE.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)

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Post #: 165

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 1:58:23 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;

Sarcasm or not--people teach people how to treat them.

There are acknowledged 'Training Academies' that have 'their' official training standards. I have no quarrel with them. It is not a statement that it is an 'official training standard' for 'all' of BDSM, M/s and or such.

Any who do 'train' may have their 'own' official training standards yet, I have yet to see these individuals 'force' any others to adopt their official training standards. I do acknowledge that people have stated their official training methods work for them but, again--this hasn't been thrust upon the masses.

I believe it to be a dire mistake, to have any individual condem another's 'official training standards,' when they have not personally experienced them. Since the BDSM community, et. al., has no real organized body of Government that is central and without legal standing, the non-existing judicual process and or enforcement; other than a few self proclaimed vigilantes --it is more logical to me, to keep focus entirely 'local' where individuals to whom meet face to face, are better judges of character, qualifications and or skills to train others by.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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Post #: 166

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 3:33:59 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you KnightofMists for your assistance

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Post #: 167

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 3:37:59 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you Lady Hugs, for the information

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Post #: 168

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 3:44:26 PM

johnbainum

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Thankyou CalifChick for the information

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Post #: 169

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 3:48:10 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you KyraofMists for the information

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Post #: 170

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 3:51:53 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you hopelessfool for the information

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Post #: 171

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 4:01:17 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you Kalista07 for the information

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Post #: 172

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/29/2008 4:08:15 PM

johnbainum

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Thank you Kalista07 for the information & I see you like paddles, I like clothes pins ;)

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Post #: 173

RE: Official Training Standards - 4/30/2008 7:16:26 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
to: Cali
To learn where your pain thresh hold is about. What it feels like with that particular brand of leather/flogger. To see if its something you enjoy or dont enjoy. How to accept not every thing in the lifestyle is going to be something you like or dislike. How to take punishment with out being whiney or in a negative way.

The problem is, *all* of that is different with different tops, different connections, different relationships - hell, even different temperatures, hydration levels...

(in reply to hopelessfool)

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Post #: 174