Owner4SexSlave
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Joined: 4/4/2007
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Training does not have to be like pulling teeth. Most submissives actually desire and want to know exactly what to do to please somebody. They are on the look out for things they can do. Honestly, it's a matter of simply harnessing this desire and communicating to them exactly what they should or could be doing.
If a sub/slave starts to feel lost as to how to please their Dom/me, there is a big problem here. Because lack of training, communication and misunderstanding.
In fact they will go so far to ask things such as "I want to know what I can do to please you", "I want to know how to make you happy", "I want to know how I can best serve you". This is in terms of general context.
More specific questions can be "I want to know what clothes you like best on me", "I want to know what to cook for dinner tonight", "I want to know what sexual exciets you the most".
In short, if a sub/slave is asking questions like this, they are begging for something they are lacking, training or being given instructions from thier Dom/me.
Training is far more involved then teaching somebody 101 kneeling or body positions, or how to say "yes Sir and no Sir" and follow a set of protocals. There are some protocals I myself enjoy and other ones that annoy the Hell out of me.
In many cases with experienced sub/slaves, I might have to retrain them a little, or simply embrace and accept some of the protocals they are used to. Basically, does it bother me enough to want to change it, or can I myself adapt to it.
It can be touchy ground trying to break a sub/slave of some established ritual or protocal they were trained to do. Basically, they are following these things to honour and make their new Dom/me happy. Can be a little frustrating for a sub/slave to discover that what they are doing is in fact displeasing to their new Dom/me. Submissives really can take thing rather hard on themselves when they feel they have failed or are not doing the right things.
Personally, I'm not used to having a sub/slave open doors for me, nor have them put on my socks for me. Mind you, their previous Dom/me or owners might have enjoyed such things.
The most common things that seem to be a conflict at times, is how much control does a Dom/me entrust a sub/slave with. Some of us Dom/mes can be pretty independant and self sufficient at times.
I know this might sound like a silly, but small things like getting a glass a pop from the fridge can become a big thing. A sub/slave might feel like they are not being of service or are doing something wrong, if the Dom/me gets up from the living room couch and get's it for themselves, instead of having them do it. I myself have a tendancy to be pretty self reliant at times and being I enjoy being in control, I enjoy keeping in control of my indepence at times. The thing is that this mindset is not always very D/s condusive nor healthy for a D/s relationship, even more so with submissives that are very slavish.
In many ways, I've been getting back into the habits of doing more and more things for myself again. This is what the single life does for a Dom/me. Ok, so my socks might not be always be neatly folded and placed in my dressor. Personally, I've never required for socks to be neatly folded and organized in such a manner. However, I do miss the magic touch of somebody doing this for me. Basically, it does not annoy for my socks being well organized. Now, if somebody was to ask me how do I like my socks organized I would be prone to show them the neatly well organized magic touch way. However, it would not piss me off if they were not always this way, just so long as my socks were in the right spot. I myself will do laundry, and wash clothes. When it comes down to putting my own things away, I would tend to fold my socks in such a manner to compliment the sub/slaves folding methods. This way, I'm not upseting the order of the unviverse. Any sub/slave will tell you how they hate for their Dom/mes to make a mess out of the hard work they do.
Basically, in whatever manner you train a sub/slave you have to be prepared to respect and honor the established rules or guidelines yourself. Some people become very ritualistic and OCD in how they do things in day to day life, it's simply a matter of consistent structure.
It's important to consider small little things like this when it comes down to training and establishing protocals and instructions for a sub/slave to follow.
Thing like getting a glass of pop out of the kitchen, how socks are kept, are a far cry from Kinky BDSM activities and sexual service.
Mind you, I have restained a sub/slave or objectfied somebody for period of time, and trust me.. I would venture out into the kitchen without a problem for a glass of something to drink. However, they were a little tied up and preoccupied at the moment. Take a submissive that is a neat freak that feels she has to be in control of always cleaning the living room, tie her ass over the coffee table butt naked and proceed to clean the room in front of her. There is a mental form of reasoning for doing such a thing. Who's in control of what again? LOL...
In terms of Offical Training Standards, this concept humors me. Everybody has different tastes, wants, interests and needs.
For all you submissives out there, just because your last Dom/me enjoyed Coke out of a Frosty mug, don't expect for all Dom/mes to enjoy the same thing. Your new Dom/me just might want Pepsi with or without ice in a non frosty glass. Hell, your new Dom/me might be so used to getting their own drink that they feel more comfortable and in control by getting their own.
For Dom/mes out there, think about things a little more. In terms of how willing your sub/slave is willing to serve you, it's ok to have them get you cold drinks and wait on you. If your sub/slave does things at a certain standard for you and you enjoy it, be prepared to respect it and not toss any monkey wrenches into things that send out a conflicting message.
I know the examples I've given might seem small, but often it's the small things that can bite us in the ass. At least in a 24/7 live in relationship.
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RE: Official Training Standards - 
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So perhaps a better "training" question might be.. 
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