Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Official Training Standards


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Official Training Standards Page: <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 5:59:41 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am a Fucking Trainer!!!!




Dang!!! Is it just me or did it suddenly grow very very very hot in here!!



Honey!!!  you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:03:01 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Even if I may never put my mahjong skills to use ever in my entire life, I will still be happy that I learned to play I learned to play it well. I know everything I learn will not be pleasing to my long term owner. But the point is. I like to learn, I feel content and happy to learn that this is how this person does something and they are beyond happy with their experience. I get this little kind of hug from learning something new. Like Im not a waste of oxygen that Im continuing to grow even if its only something small. Thats me. I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that. 

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:30:14 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Where in the fuck did you get that anyone anywhere in this thread is against learning?

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:32:04 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		And what did you learn that will be an obstacle?

Knowing that is half the battle.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:33:09 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am a Fucking Trainer!!!!




Dang!!! Is it just me or did it suddenly grow very very very hot in here!!



Honey!!!  you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!!


fire play?  *winks*  

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:49:06 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I am an artist.  I have painted over an old canvas and created something new.
And though I think the idea of training for too many is really just a justification for play; I find the idea that everyone needs to be untouched to have value, is offensive.
There are many of us who have done things before and with more than one partner. 
Kyst


Kyst,
add me to that list as well...perhaps i did not express myself in the manner i wished to. i did not mean a BDSM virgin but i did mean someone trained in "the one true way" . Sorry for the confusion

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 6:52:20 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I get the vibe that while its not against that Im learning but who and where I learn it from. There has been repeated echos learning from someone wishing to give me an experience I want to learn about. Will in time come to be a problem for my long term dom because I've come to experience it with this person.




_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 7:00:55 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I get the vibe that while its not against that Im learning but who and where I learn it from. There has been repeated echos learning from someone wishing to give me an experience I want to learn about. Will in time come to be a problem for my long term dom because I've come to experience it with this person.





Please understand that we are objecting to seeking experiences merely to experience them.
 
The concern is that you may be taken advantage of by someone unscrupulous-and that that experience may have a negative impact on your future relationships. It's not learning that is objectionable.
 
 It's being so intent on "doing" in the moment, that one loses sight of a long term objective with *value*. And why the experienced warn of  losing oneself  in "sub frenzy".
 
 This may be of some use in your knowledge base.
 
http://www.steel-door.com/Frenzies.html

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 7:15:04 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		And as its been said repeatedly on other threads  you sometimes have to let someone experience something weither it be good bad or inbetween. I learned a lot of my lessions in life by messing up pretty badly. And If someone was telling me every time I took a step that I need to be aware of this or I wouldnt have expereinced life.

Sure theres the need to try things you havnt tried and yeah sure It can be cause a problem. But this is a lifestyle that adults participate and the pretense is that everyone doing something is an adult capable of making decisions on their very own. If they make a bad choice they make a bad choice.

Sure there are men that pray on newbies in the life. I dont think Im all that new and I still have men come up to me trying to teach me how to do this or that or how I wont be submissive if I dont. I know these people are so full of bs that their eyes are turning brown

I believe that every person who feels weak or has a shortcomming will manipulate everyone they can to hide that self doubt or weakeness.

I might be young but even so I know how to spot if theres flags of an ulter motive is going on here. If they are being used or manipulated its because they themselves have put themselves in a situation where they allowed it. A red flag goes off in my head if a man says Im sorry but you need to experience this to really be a submissive. Another if when asking for this experience, they demand that I do this this this or this first.

Sadly alot of people who dont like what they learn to often will say, he used me, he used training as a way to do this or that to me. Just to make them feel better that even though they knew feelings would be unreturned, that when they were offered and turned down that they got hurt or didnt get their way.


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 7:17:13 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I've offered you a trove of information by an author I respect.

I'm not going to try to spoon feed you. Do as you see fit.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 7:32:40 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Im sorry but even reading the article Twice I see how yes subs in "frenzy" are more easily manipulated.
But I go to the mall and the Marine recruiter sells me the moon and stars, Some place I can be accepted money, ability to go to college, to buy the world and I sign up on a whim. And the high of being accepted and getting everything I want fades and I look and I see what I did and I think Oh CRAP. Im still responsible for my actions. If I drink and I get in a car and I drive and I get pulled over. Am I not still responsible? I was impared from drinking but I still made the choice to drink and to drive. I do believe the frenzy exists and I have expereinced to a point. I understand the need and want and such. But still I if make a choice wither it be irrational or impulsive or stupid. I am the one thats responsible for making that choice.
If your not accountable for your actions no matter how their made, who is?


< Message edited by hopelessfool -- 4/18/2008 7:33:40 PM >

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 7:34:55 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		That's exactly it.

Your choice. No one here is telling you what to do, only offering thier own  experiences and opinions. Again, do as you see fit.

And be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices-the same as everyone else is.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 4/18/2008 7:35:14 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 8:06:00 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that. 


and Here is a good crump of food to ponder for people that your comments elude us towards

I believe most of us can appreciate that what skills I train a submissive to acquire may not be appreciated by another or vice vrs.  However, one thing that is rather important... is one's ability to learn and acquire knowledge and skills.  The skills/talents that a submissive may learn from another may not be regarded as useful by the future Dominant... but they may demonstrated the necessary ability/capacity for a person to learn! 

However, If the submissive's mindset is closed, meaning... what they have learned is "the one way"... they inhibit their ablity to learn.  It has been my experience that many that enter this lifestyle grab on to the first "one way" that comes along... it is only with a significant emotional experience that one can remove their grip on this "one way"  a way that might actually be wrong for them... hence why they end up having the significant emotional experience in the first place.

Alot of people seem to be big on "Training" in this lifestyle.  For myself... I am more focused on Building Character... for my slaves and myself.  One character strength that I have found to be of great value is an Open-mind and it goes very well with a passion for learning.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 8:12:16 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Well said KOM. And I think that applies to Dominants too.

Inflexibility and a close minded outlook can really trip you up. Especially when it blinds you to opportunities you might otherwise see and seize upon.

One of the things I always tell a girl is this.

I like to do things a certain way becuase they have worked for me in the past. That way may not work as well with US. If you can show me a BETTER way, I will make it MY WAY in a heartbeat-because we are all pulling this load together-and no one rides for free.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 8:13:21 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

If your not accountable for your actions no matter how their made, who is?



I do agree that we are accountable for our own actions... as such

am I not accountable for my actions "to speak" or "not to speak" when I see a blind person walking out into traffic.  The blind person is obviously accountable for his choice to walk out into the streets.  However, it might be that he doesn't realize the consequences of his choice.  He might not have all the information that might be required for him to make the choice he desires.  I don't know... but because I can see... I know the consequences of his actions even if it appears to me that he doesn't.  So.. I stop him! Give the information.  He might say thanks and turn away.  He might even continue to walk out into the streets to end is own life.  Either way... I am accountable for my actions... and will beable to look myself in the mirror with contentment!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 8:13:41 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		You're the new leader of the BDSM community? I don't envy you, Michael, your stress levels must be sky-high..*snort, snicker*
 
Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 8:20:58 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Well said KOM. And I think that applies to Dominants too.



Thank you... and I very much agree... it applies to people! 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/18/2008 9:33:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Even if I may never put my mahjong skills to use ever in my entire life, I will still be happy that I learned to play I learned to play it well. I know everything I learn will not be pleasing to my long term owner. But the point is. I like to learn, I feel content and happy to learn that this is how this person does something and they are beyond happy with their experience. I get this little kind of hug from learning something new. Like Im not a waste of oxygen that Im continuing to grow even if its only something small. Thats me. I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that. 


I can understand this and applaud your love of learning. I do approach things differently. I, also, love to learn new things but I do view life as pretty damn short and I have to pick and choose what I'm going to spend my time on. I can spend two years learning how to play the piano but if I am never going to use that skill, to me, that's a waste of my time. I could have spent those two years learning how to do oh, say basket weaving. If I then proceed to make several baskets throughout my life, that time has not be wasted. It's just a different way of viewing things. Your way works for you, so kudos. My way works for me, so kudos to me, too.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 7:37:45 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
But its a hell of a lot easier to teach someone if they have the basic concepts then it is to start from scratch.


UM  NO!!!!!!!!!   considering the "Basic Concepts" are not so basic.... in fact in this lifestyle they are very different basic concepts from person to person. 

So.... It is much easier... if a person doesn't have the basic concepts of someone else ideals... since I have found... fixing their screwups is alot of work.


Exactly Knight.  And hopeless fool...no matter what anyone says about not comparing present partners to past ones...for most of us, it is done on some level even if it is a good level.  Almost anyone I have dealt with either as a casual submissive or as one of my long-term submissives has had it all over my ex-wife in terms of behavior and in terms of sexual want and need and desire.  That's a good thing...but the comparison is made, even if only in my own head, because I do not want to go back to where I was.  Would I have told them that they did not compare to my ex if they had been worse?  No, but I damn sure would have either trained them to be MY way or they would have been gone.  So, is it possible that a submissive will come from a trainer to a dominant with no idea and no intention of ever comparing her new dominant to her trainer verbally?  Sure it is...but to say that it won't be done mentally on some level at least is asking a hell of a lot of most humans.  And while most submissives do not have to put up with having their new/present dominant comparing them...the submissive...to the "PROFESSIONAL, trainer submissives", those dominants who have taken on, or are considering taking on, a submissive who has been to a trainer knows that he is dealing with someone whose "trainer" is fixed in their mind at some level...slight or grand...as the one with "more expertise, more technique, more skill, more toys, more knowledge" than most dominants have, simply because they are "trainers".

I mentioned an incident in an earlier post.  Several years ago, I was considering a submissive from Co. Springs.  I had flogged her and paddled her.  She was happy.  I brought out my Serpent's Bite toy.  I brought it down for 3 strokes...3...and she stopped me.  I asked her why she had used her safeword as the strokes had not been that intense yet.  She went on to give me a detailed explanation of how her "Mentor/Trainer" had tried canes on her in one session and had told her how she did not seem to respond well to them and, given his "level" of experience, she trusted that she was just not going to ever have a good experience with them.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 4/19/2008 7:48:29 AM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Official Training Standards - 4/19/2008 7:40:51 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		What really gets to me is the "Masdter did this, and master did that" former slaves. Get the fuck over yourselves. You aren't with him anymore-he doesn't matter.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 160
Page:   <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Official Training Standards Page: <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094