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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 2:49:50 PM

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quote:

My only point in making this post was to give potential slaves something to read about to give them insight into me and what I am about. Additionally it was to scare the living shit out of any submissive or submissives that call themselves slaves, so they will steer far far away from me.

Mmmmhmmmm....of course it was

Don't worry; by posting your umm...warnings...here; you have successfully made sure that any submissive or slave who posts on these boards will be sure to steer clear of you

That should make you feel vindicated

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 2:56:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Philosopher13

So you never push her limits? I would be doing slaves a diservice if I allowed them the power of negotiation.

Determing compability is, in and of itself, a form of negotiation. It doesn't matter if you 'allow' that or not, it's part of reality unless you believe that all slaves are fungible and you have some sort of divine right because of your own self-proclaimed title (which as much as you don't believe those embracing the term slave are actually slaves .. why should anyone believe you are actually a master?) In my universe, you are not a master given the fact that you are actively seeking out dominant and switch women. Now I'm wondering why you embrace the title of master when you appear to be a switch? Aren't you doing the same thing you are accusing others of doing?

quote:

Facing fears and moving past those fears is a part of this as well.

Some of us are fearless, so that wouldn't apply which points to a bit of a flaw in the logic.

quote:

If you have an open door policy and she is afraid of needles for example and she is still there before and after you use those needles not only has she faced a fear but she has again proven her devotion. Again this goes back to the mental aspects of M/s the proverbial mind fuck if you will. The rope of the mind. The bond and spirtual unity created from this little example and a myriad of others blows the doors off any other relationship and the only way you can get any idea of what I am talking about on this part specifically is to experience it. You sew up a womans pussy for a day that is afraid of needles my friend and you will get a glimpse of what I am talking about, and don't forget this is under and open door policy.

M/s is not more or less of a relationship than D/s, vanilla or any other sort of relationship. It means what it means to the people involved and most people don't care what goes on in relationships which do not involve them. M/s is the best way for me to live life because it feeds me and fills me in ways that vanilla can't and D/s doesn't. For people fed best by living in vanilla relationships, their way is best for them and again, it's not better or worse, deeper or more fulfilling than those of us who live life differently.

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 3:07:45 PM

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LOL that make my jamba juice come up through my nose.
BRRRRRRR
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I don't have anything to say. I just realized that I was male and had a big ego, so I should post here.

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 3:14:39 PM

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Once again, so the point of the label for you, is to make your life easier.
Now.. if only everyone would adopt your way of thinking! Then everyone could look down the aisles, pick up the box they choose, and dispense with any communication.! Woohoo! Instant slave. Just add master.
No one would ever need to talk again. No need to find any other compatibility. One wants things his way without any resistance because that is the goal.
Thank goodness I have chosen always to avoid that slave tag.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Philosopher13
BUT I will repeat this part again we need basic outlines of how relationships work or definitions are meaningless. I am all about taking the basic outline and extrapolating however anyone wants but I would all think it would be a benefit to everyone to have a base from where to start to define our relationships directions. Then we wouldn't have to spend hours going through hundred of profiles that are looking for something different.

(in reply to Philosopher13)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 3:37:42 PM

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Determining compatiblity is not a negotiation its just learning about one another and deciding if a relationship is in the picture or not. When I lay out my philosophy about limits and boundaries and she says she cannot live within those rules all discussion stops. So where is there a negotiation?
I am the dominant party is a M/s relationship, I am not using the term Master to define myself. M/s is only a relationship dynamic and anyone who calls themself a Master or Lord or God is just feeding their egos. Just like people who have Doctorate degrees in philosophy for example calling themselves a Doctor to aquaintances is just about their ego nothing more. I have never used a single tail whip before and there are plenty of Doms here that have does that make them a Master if they Master the whip? Some would like to think so but again it goes back to ego.
My view is a Master without a slave is just a man, like the yin without the yang. What sense would it make to be a Master based on my premise without a slave if the M/s relationship is a dynamic but not about the title of the persons involved. My profile indicates I am the dominant party looking for or in a M/s relationship as a slaves should indicate she is the submissive party.
I guarantee you have not experienced every concievable idea out there no one has. To say you have no fears is to say you are not human. I also didn't say that it was all inclusive of the relationship but I would welcome a challenge like that any day, talk about a barrel of monkies someone who says they are fearless

PLEASE!

I happen to be partial to M/s and so with that being said I feel it is best thing out there. What is wrong with believing in and standing behind what you preach? I know it isn't for everyone and not even possible for everyone. My folks have been happily married in a puritanical relationship for almost 50 years and my grandparents made it to 70 years and I know this wouldn't work for them but what they have and had did work for them and more power too them. If people would take time to educate themselves we wouldn't be having this discussion. Because calling yourself a horse doesn't make you a horse if you are a cow.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 3:51:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

...There's no one size fits all and there is no one true way...

...Ain't gonna happen.

I agree with the above completely.

I also find that my definitions of the roles/labels within BDSM usage very much parallel the definitions of the OP. I first learned of those definitions from books and such written by those who were some of the first to be involved in the underground BDSM community as it began to take shape on the west coast. I really was surprised at my apparent ignorance many years ago when I took the knowledge from those writings and attempted to apply it to today's BDSM community (such as it is). It seems things have changed so much. These is so much disagreement in terms of what 'is' and what 'is not', that its insanely confusing to many of the new folks coming in. With 10 years of real life experience, I find myself confused regularly when I read some of other peoples' interpretations of what is and is not...

I can't help but wonder if the community (again, such as it is) would benefit in some ways if those of us involved were able to reach some sort of consensus on what it is each of us are in terms of how we relate to our BDSM counterparts. It would be tough to argue that, right now, there's an awful lot of confusion, hostility and misunderstanding within the ranks.

At times I also wonder if today's BDSM community was suddenly targeted for elimination by means of some sort of outside political/social movement or government-sponsored 'shakedown', would a community that is so bogged down in constant disagreement over itself, and that has no leadership and no apparent structure, be able to ever pull together and fight the fight...

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 8/7/2008 3:53:49 PM >

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 4:18:25 PM

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I missed your point about Dominant and switch women and too answer that is simple no I am not a switch, why would I have to be a switch to be searching for a slave in switch and Dominant women. Considering the point that everyone is trying to make here I am best to put my interest in Dominant and switch women as well because the definitions are so broad I might find one of those Dominant women who would submit to me but would be dominant to all others. Additionally there are alot of Dominant women who have been slaves at one time so they obviously conceptualize the M/s concept. Lastly surrender comes from a place of power not weakness and so it would only make sense that surrender from someone with experience and a Dominant would be of tremendous value. Plus think of the fun we could have as a couple.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 4:33:43 PM

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hmmmmmmm, so, if I'm understanding this argument correctly.....because I have a hard limit that stems from a medical condition I could NEVER be considered a slave....or to be a slave, I'd have to give up that hard limit and be pushed past my fears of it even though it would risk my health. If I have a master that doesn't push that limit because he wants to ensure the well being of his property, then he isn't really a master, he's just a top because I've given him limits....*shakes my head and goes back to just being me and knowing as long as my master is happy with me as I am, I'm happy.*

(in reply to Philosopher13)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 4:41:15 PM

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Your point comes from a place of lack of common sense. Would love to hear what medical condition you are refering too that would keep you from being tested in some fashion. If it's irritable bowel syndrome I will laugh until I fall down. If you have some medical condition for example the relates to an allergy for example that wouldn't keep you from being a slave, why would you even have to ask that question. Again where is the common sense here?

Gregory
"One man with courage is a Majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to ncprincess)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:07:10 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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I believe the point she was trying to make stems from one of your own statements. To paraphrase, you said, a submissive in a D/s relationship has all the power because she/he puts limits on what the dominant party is permitted to do. So, if she tells her dominant partner that he cannot do whatever it is that is dangerous to her health, she has limited his actions and therefore, according to your theory, she has the control.

Many people, who have hard limits, have them for valid reasons, not just because they are afraid to try something and push beyond their own fears. Many, who state hard limits, state them so that the dominant party is aware that if they push that limit, it may in fact 'break' the submissive party. It isn't always a way to control the relationship, sometimes, it is a way to communicate an actual limit - one they simply are not physically or mentally capable of accomplishing, no matter how much they would love to do so to please their dominant partner.

A person who claims that suspension bondage is a hard limit, would they automatically be rejected as a slave without taking into consideration WHY they placed that as a hard limit? For some, it might be a fear of heights, for others they may simply dislike rope or being bound or suspended, for others still they may have nerve damage and suspension bondage may cause limb damage. The only way to find out is to ask.

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 8/7/2008 5:09:11 PM >

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:22:19 PM

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A lack of common sense. So, because someone poses a question according to your own wording it's a lack of common sense. You don't need to hear the reasoning for my limit...we'll allow your imagination to roam wild. But, one life threatening surgery for me was enough.

Domin8tingUrDrmz understood the reasoning of my question. If I place a limit on something I'm not a slave. You live in your world, I live in mine. You say a submissive only cares about their own happiness. I say you are deluded to think that way. It's called that wonderful thing of being individuals and having your own thoughts and decision making abilities.

(in reply to Philosopher13)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:26:22 PM

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If you want to use suspension bondage as an example yes of course their are limitations because of medical conditions. Who is going to try to put a 5 foot 200 lb woman in suspension? Again to me this is lack of common sense. Now if you want to talk fears that is a different ball of wax, because fears are psychological based and the perfect thing to push the limits on. For example if she is scared of heights you start her suspended at 6 inches off the ground and move up. Fears can be overcome as I am a living example. Someone that has fears and trys to use that as limit would not be acceptable to me. Case in point are a number of subs form this site that claim to be slaves but when I put them to the test with entry level things they couldn't hack it. I even layed out for them from the beginning how my training unfolds so they would know what to expect. So why they even wasted my time and theirs is beyond my comprehension. Fears that are really phobias are hard to deal with, they are very deep seated and completely disabling. From the little taste of some of the more advanced tests I use listed here you can see that my expectations are not for the faint of heart but I don't consider what I do as all that hardcore campared to some of the folks who define themselves as sadists or masochists. So it is really in the eye of the beholder and what the expectations are. Lastly my tests and someone elses tests are completely different so what I may expect of someone, someone else may not so that doesn't make someone any less of a slave.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:33:22 PM

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There is a lid for every pot.

Some are cracked..

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:33:40 PM

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Well if you tell me you have a medical condition and I deem it is legitimate and not some ploy to avoid something unpleasurable then by all means I would not go there. I deeply respect slaves and don't wish to injure them I want to protect them as they are my property and very valuable to me.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to ncprincess)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:39:15 PM

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If you deemed it legitimate? So, you...as a "master" think you should override what a trained medical professional has advised someone?

(in reply to Philosopher13)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:49:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Don't worry; by posting your umm...warnings...here; you have successfully made sure that any submissive or slave who posts on these boards will be sure to steer clear of you

I tend to agree. Using non-defined "common sense" to cover your ass everytime someone pokes a hole in your definitions doesn't come off all Lothario of the Lexicon to me.

This thread's gone on for seven pages, philospher13. Have you gotten any mail from women telling you how interesting your posts are? I bet the answer is "no." And, dude, I can easily think of more than one full-on TPE Master on these boards who thinks "submissive" and "slave" are bigtime different, and who has women flirting with him (and flying to him) instead of telling him how fucked he is in the head.

The problem isn't your definitions, philosopher13. It's your incoherence.

Edited for typo.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 8/7/2008 5:50:48 PM >

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:50:49 PM

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You are like Rush Lintball you take what you want from the post and disreguard the rest. I said if it didn't seem like some ploy to avoid discomfort. I have no idea what your medical issue is since you won't tell me but I have heard of wanabee Doms getting gals who are anal virgins and tieing them up and fucking their asses without any prior prep or planning and causing fishers and roids because of this. It is really too bad that there are so many dipshits out there that don't have a clue of what issues they can cause because of stupidity. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you are refering too but if it is frankly it is a shame, because alot of quality potential lifestyle folks are ruined because of such acts. Unfortunately something like this would ruin any potential slaves chances with me because most importantly she would have a huge trust issue right off the bat and additionally I use a plethora of anal tools and do alot of anal testing and it is important to me to. Does it make you any less of a slave no because if you have such a medical condition your ass could very well be off limits and some Masters would not have an issue with that because the aren't into anal things.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to ncprincess)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:51:20 PM

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Have you actually BEEN in a tpe relationship-or are you just another "theorist"?

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RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:54:15 PM

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If they are like any of the wanabees that i have met off this site so far he can have them.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Slaves who are subs - 8/7/2008 5:57:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Have you actually BEEN in a tpe relationship-or are you just another "theorist"?

I wanted to go there too. I figured it would be too easy just to lie and say, "Yes." But, yeah, it's time to stop the angels-dancing-on-the-head-of-a-pin vocabulary words horse hockey. I see nothing to demonstrate the OP can convince another human being to follow his lead. And that is what matters, not "being right."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to Leatherist)

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