RE: married sub - how to tell my wife

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RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 12:00:55 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Great. First you blame all of your problems on women not wanting cheaters. Then you blame them on biology. Now you're blaming them on Americans.

If biology really is a factor in your wife's lack of interest in you, and you keep looking for someone outside of this relationship, what stops you from doing the honest thing and leaving the marriage? How do you justify your long-term attempts to go behind your wife's back? You've been on this web site for almost three years. This obviously isn't a temporary situation whilst you try to sort things out for the best.

Divorce is the most likely outcome. When a wife doesn't want sex with her husband then she is telling him that the relationship is over.

(in reply to Venatrix)

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Post #: 141

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 12:04:19 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I really hope you see the hypocrisy in the highlighted above. I really do.

I don't know if biology is the most important factor. If the other factors in a couple's relationship are going well, I think most people would be heading to the doctor to find out what's going on. If nothing else, the other partner would be encouraging them to see if there was a medical explanation.

I have begged the wife to have the medical side of this checked out. She has refused. I have also agreed to go to a sex counselor but the answer is always no.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 142

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 12:18:23 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
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azjojoba... why do you stay?

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Post #: 143

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 12:22:54 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I really hope you see the hypocrisy in the highlighted above. I really do.

I don't know if biology is the most important factor. If the other factors in a couple's relationship are going well, I think most people would be heading to the doctor to find out what's going on. If nothing else, the other partner would be encouraging them to see if there was a medical explanation.

I have begged the wife to have the medical side of this checked out. She has refused. I have also agreed to go to a sex counselor but the answer is always no.

Then it seems to Me that you have a decision to make if you place any value in your integrity. Either the sex life or the marriage is more important. I'm sorry, but I don't consider the lying/cheating option a viable one.

As I see it, one want or the other has a greater value. In My honest opinion, I don't think you are looking at that part of the discussion with any logical or practical application. I think it's more a case of you being selfish in your wanting to have it all when the person you are married to doesn't.

Can you really look at your life and blame the medical AND ONLY the medical potential cause for this? Are you less attentive to your wife in other areas of your life, in the bedroom and out of it? Do you convey the type of attitude in your day to day life that you do here on these boards? Has it occurred to you that your physique isn't quite as sexually appealing since you acquired that gut that you may not have had twenty years ago?

All of these other factors weigh heavily in whether or not you appeal to someone else on a sexual level. (Again, I'm going to reiterate that this is specifically about sex and NOT about BDSM exploration.) If it really was all on your wife's potential medical reasons, to what do you attribute your lack of success here?

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(in reply to azjojoba)

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Post #: 144

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 12:39:07 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Divorce is the most likely outcome. When a wife doesn't want sex with her husband then she is telling him that the relationship is over.

Yep, that's pretty much it, and believe me, I speak from personal experience here. If she won't get herself checked medically, and she won't see a therapist, she already knows what the problem is - you two have gone your separate ways. It's time for you to take the next step. However painful it may be, it's better than being stuck in an unhappy relationship. For one thing, we'll stop beating up on you on the boards, though I suspect that you secretly enjoy it, you ol' masochist, you.

(in reply to azjojoba)

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Post #: 145

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 2:21:58 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

For one thing, we'll stop beating up on you on the boards, though I suspect that you secretly enjoy it, you ol' masochist, you.

Since I enjoy being beat on by dominant women, I'm sure if I get my act together I'll think of something to rile you guys up. Don't worry though, it's unlikely I will get my act together to your satisfaction. I still need to find a hot gal to play BDSM games before much else happens. Or maybe my wife will kick me out of the house and I'll lose my internet connection.

(in reply to Venatrix)

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Post #: 146

RE: married sub - how to tell my wife - 12/14/2009 3:24:11 PM

Lockit

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