Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: "Just lower your standards"


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "Just lower your standards" Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:06:22 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

You are in a prison of your own making and, frankly, come off as deserving of that prison.  



Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it?

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:08:57 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I wouldn't say deserving to me that implies blame and it's not really helpful to blame.


But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped?

quote:

To the OP
I would say your gonna have to figure it out on your own. Your into what i might describe as an extreme end of a BDSM road, so just like all extremes your kinda out there with a smaller amount of people. So your choices are somewhat limited by your own hand. Your choice..Nothing wrong with it if that's what you really want. I'm also an extremist of sorts so i can relate.It isn't an easy road but well worth it in my book.


Here's part of my problem - I don't see it as my choice. I can accept that it's my choice, but I'm asking for help or advice in how to choose differently. Does that make sense?

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:12:20 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it?


I am not so sure that I would want you to be less deserving of it.  I am not convinced by anything you have shared or express on these boards that you are remotely considerate of the well-being of those you want to be in a relationship with or could care and support the well-being of another.  Hell... I am not even sure that you are caring for your own well-being... hardly bods well to caring for another... so... staying in the prison might be a good thing that will keep others from unneccessary mental, emotional and maybe even physical trama

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:12:37 PM   
Alexander48


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Add me to the list of people who will not lower my standards.  I am looking for "the one" (and only one) for me, and when I find her I sincerely hope both she and I understand and are grateful at how lucky we are to have found each other.
That said, I do think that some people fail to realise that we are all human, with our own unique character strenghts and weaknesses. In an ideal world, we all would use our strenghts to make this planet a better place for all to live, and do our very best to work on overcoming our weaknesses.

Alexander

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:12:46 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Far better people than I have tried to suggest options to you, which you have resoundly rejected.  For the record, I am neither fascinated nor creeped out, just really really unimpressed- so, just maybe, that is a small improvement.  Other then that, I have no idea why you keep asking for advise when you are disinterested in it.   


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

You are in a prison of your own making and, frankly, come off as deserving of that prison.  



Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it?


_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:12:55 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		You have very specific criteria.  You are unwilling, or at least feel unable, to change those standards. 
The group of people who would fit within your criteria is very small. ( how many gymnasts are into BDSM?)
You are willing to invest a lot of time to teach/mold a candidate to your criteria but are not interested in investing emotions. 
You expect the candidate to be willing to work very hard to become what you want, but not get emotionally attached to you.
You grow impatient  
Perhaps it’s time to work on removing that “My heart will never be broken again” badge from your sleeve.  Not saying that will help completely, but it’s a start. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:13:22 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

It sounds like you want the female to provide everything and you will provide little or nothing in return.  If she has that much to offer, she'll have her pick of men, and would, most likely, have little incentive to submit to someone who isn't offering much to her.  So, you're back to square one: either wait or *adjust* your standards, or, better still, adjust your attitude.  If you can't figure out how to do it, a bunch of strangers is unlikely to be able to tell you how.


Things I am willing to offer:

* I can take people with high potential and make them awesome. I.e., I can take people in the top 10% and put them in the top 1%. If afterwards they want nothing to do with me because they can get much, much better, I can understand this and hold no ill-will.

* I can take people who are awesome and produce interesting and creative works of art. I am hoping to find people for whom that is a worthy goal in and of itself.

* I can custom-design clothing, gear and equipment to accentuate and show off these talents.

What else should I be offering? Money? Power? True Love?

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:13:26 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I wouldn't say deserving to me that implies blame and it's not really helpful to blame.


But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped?

quote:

To the OP
I would say your gonna have to figure it out on your own. Your into what i might describe as an extreme end of a BDSM road, so just like all extremes your kinda out there with a smaller amount of people. So your choices are somewhat limited by your own hand. Your choice..Nothing wrong with it if that's what you really want. I'm also an extremist of sorts so i can relate.It isn't an easy road but well worth it in my book.


Here's part of my problem - I don't see it as my choice. I can accept that it's my choice, but I'm asking for help or advice in how to choose differently. Does that make sense?


Why wouldn't they be..are they less human for shortcomings or mistakes and anything else that they might have wrong?


why exactly would you want to change?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:14:23 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Well, you have a choice, first kinky people are about say a third of the population. engagining in kink, not just a power exhange relationship.

Of that maybe half of that third are female, and around 40 percent of that half are dominant.

So you start out with say 100 females that are submissive. (I know the numbers are larger, but were working here with something easy for my head to not asplode.)
So out of those 100 females MAYBE 20 are under a size 4.
So of those 20 female 15 are flexable enough for you, and meet your other physcial standards. And of those 15 maybe 7 have the same kinks as you. Undoubtedly 4 of those are in commited relationships and the final three are saying fuck you, you have to give to get in life it all doesnt come to you for free.

And then your left alone.

Your in a smaller pond of fish to begin with, why would someone who can have anyone, settle or work for someone who is saying. Im never going to love you, Im just going to use you as I see fit. Im never going to marry you, Im never going to want children. Your sqashing the dreams of quite a few women with those statements right there.

My advice? Dont look for "her". It very well might be she doesnt exist, but if its worth it your going to find her. It might take 40 years but how dedicated you are to finding her.

DONT WORRY about the future. For example, in 5 years you might want marriage and children. In 10 you might want a fuller figured woman, in 2 months you might settle for any peice of ass that is remotely attractive in a skirt.What you vision as "perfect" will change over time, If it didnt Id still be lusting over some heartthrob on tv that i saw 10 years ago. Dont worry so much for Perfect, and find enjoyable, worry less about what pants size she wears and more about how dedicated she is.




_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:14:55 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I am not so sure that I would want you to be less deserving of it.  I am not convinced by anything you have shared or express on these boards that you are remotely considerate of the well-being of those you want to be in a relationship with or could care and support the well-being of another.  Hell... I am not even sure that you are caring for your own well-being... hardly bods well to caring for another... so... staying in the prison might be a good thing that will keep others from unneccessary mental, emotional and maybe even physical trama


In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:16:16 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help.


thanks for providing the behavior that only supports my position

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:16:40 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

You have very specific criteria.  You are unwilling, or at least feel unable, to change those standards. 
The group of people who would fit within your criteria is very small. ( how many gymnasts are into BDSM?)
You are willing to invest a lot of time to teach/mold a candidate to your criteria but are not interested in investing emotions. 
You expect the candidate to be willing to work very hard to become what you want, but not get emotionally attached to you.
You grow impatient  
Perhaps it’s time to work on removing that “My heart will never be broken again” badge from your sleeve.  Not saying that will help completely, but it’s a start. 

You've went right to where i was going. Obviously he's been hurt and doesn't want to get involved. Hey maybe you've recently changed your profile to something so extreme that hardly nobody will fit in?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:16:46 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth
But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped?


Why wouldn't they be..are they less human for shortcomings or mistakes and anything else that they might have wrong?



I think LadyLupine and KnightOfMists might have a better answer for that than I would.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:17:36 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth


What I am going to say next is probably going to offend you. I'm okay with that. You probably won't be.

But to be frankly honest, after reading a few of your past posts and the ones in this thread, you come off incredibly "whiny".

It's been a constant bitchfest about "how things won't work" or "how you can't do that."

I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on.


_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:17:51 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help.


thanks for providing the behavior that only supports my position


You're welcome. What kind of behavior would you rather see? Or is this also useful behavior for keeping me from doing any harm?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:19:19 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on.



I'm really sorry about that. It's not my intent to be whiny, but I acknowledge that I'm doing it.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:19:51 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I know of no submissive/slave who wishes to be..um...'awesome' so maybe that is not the best descriptive . Sounds like more of your list, your standards, your needs, your criteria.  So, don't change, most agree with you, but also be prepaired to wait. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth



Things I am willing to offer:

* I can take people with high potential and make them awesome. I.e., I can take people in the top 10% and put them in the top 1%. If afterwards they want nothing to do with me because they can get much, much better, I can understand this and hold no ill-will.

* I can take people who are awesome and produce interesting and creative works of art. I am hoping to find people for whom that is a worthy goal in and of itself.

* I can custom-design clothing, gear and equipment to accentuate and show off these talents.

What else should I be offering? Money? Power? True Love?


_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:20:40 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth


quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on.



I'm really sorry about that. It's not my intent to be whiny, but I acknowledge that I'm doing it.


Just take sometime off and catch your breathe. As long as it takes.

Safe Journey's,
Icarys.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:22:29 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Just take sometime off and catch your breathe. As long as it takes.


And work on some self esteem, because I would guess that's your number 1 biggest problem in attracting a mate.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/21/2008 3:23:32 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

I cannot further lower my standards, they are abjectly subsumed as it is.

6


I thought you had to actually HAVE standards before you could lower them.....

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to NumberSix)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "Just lower your standards" Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.055