quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

In my opinion, it is comparatively harder to court a domme for sake of ratios, for sake of lesser odds for compatibility due to a limited pool, and for any ambivalence that might arise about how to behave.

Courting a Domme is far more difficult than courting a vanilla woman.  Every Domme I've known seems to send different signals and expectations.  As a submissive, one never knows whether to be forward or not, whether to wait for the Domme to signal something, or where the boundaries with her will lay.  There's always the problem of establishing a friendship and romance with her while at the same time knowing at some point things will eventually move into a D/s dynamic that will involve a power exchange of some kind as well.  Until we talk about that, it's always an unknown as to what a domme's expectations are in the mean time!

So who's in-control of the situation in the interim?  What's acceptable behavior?  Will my advances be rebuked as being too forward or too agressive for a man who is a submissive; particularly one who'd like to be submissive to her?  It often feels like a no-win situation on this side of the kneel when beginning a new relationship when boundaries or guidelines haven't been established as to how both would like to see the relationship develop!

Ladies, believe me when I say, it's not easy for a submissive male to pursue you!  There are landmines and pitfalls waiting everywhere for us to trip on or fall in!  This is when honesty and forthrightness are greatly appreciated.  It's when genuine interests in one another need to be expressed if there's any chance of a successful match!  

  ...still under consideration & vice versa 

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

Male doms have the same problem, OP.  Female submissives believe they should just declare their submissive "status" and insist the dominant do all the information gathering, connection-finding, relationship guiding, and decision making.  There are those types out there, but they're few and far between.  Far less than the hordes of female (and male apparently) submissives who want to simply declare their submission and have everything else taken care of from that point on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
I personally insist that the one I bring into my home is intelligent and capable of intellectual conversations. I tried the route of "dumber then a box of rocks but could lift the corner of my house" types... doesn't do much for me. Although a combo of those two would be amazing!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: treatmecruelly

Dear PsyVamp,
With respect, I must question your inferences that we submissives are not as shape as the other social beings in the pack. I for one can hold my own against most and long for someone who might be able to put me in my desired place but I find in conversation and correspondence many are weak and think of dogma as debate. I hold a Phd and unlike most i've met when wondering the so-called hallowed halls find most academics lacking in interlect but high in intelligence. Intelligence without interlectual prowess is a bit like puttting a robot incharge, they responde and react but are lacking in abstrqct creativitiy thus reducing their own potential.

No offense intended, but many Dommes on this site are known to be very particular about spelling and typo's.  For one who's presumably sharp, and has a Phd, I'm guessing you probably had your dissertation typed and proofed by someone else.   Some, might find the many underlined & bolded typo's above distracting, while others would not.  To me, the message is still conveyed.

Perhaps the description above is more accurately the problem, but not as easily recognized?

 ... still under consideration with each other

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

In my opinion, it is comparatively harder to court a domme for sake of ratios, for sake of lesser odds for compatibility due to a limited pool, and for any ambivalence that might arise about how to behave.

I agree with you Sea. 
 
Courting a Domme is far more difficult than courting a vanilla woman.  Every Domme I've known seems to send different signals and expectations.  As a submissive, one never knows whether to be forward or not, whether to wait for the Domme to signal something, or where the boundaries with her will lay.  There's always the problem of establishing a friendship and romance with her while at the same time knowing at some point things will eventually move into a D/s dynamic that will involve a power exchange of some kind as well.  Until we talk about that, it's always an unknown as to what a domme's expectations are in the mean time!
 
So who's in-control of the situation in the interim?  What's acceptable behavior?  Will my advances be rebuked as being too forward or too agressive for a man who is a submissive; particularly one who'd like to be submissive to her?  It often feels like a no-win situation on this side of the kneel when beginning a new relationship when boundaries or guidelines haven't been established as to how both would like to see the relationship develop!
 
Ladies, believe me when I say, it's not easy for a submissive male to pursue you!  There are landmines and pitfalls waiting everywhere for us to trip on or fall in!  This is when honesty and forthrightness are greatly appreciated.  It's when genuine interests in one another need to be expressed if there's any chance of a successful match!  
 
 
 - pixel
 
 Lady Pact's bleaux,
  ...still under consideration & vice versa 

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Are submissives over-thinking what should be a simple statement: Don't act submissive. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chi

 Jewel, I am firmly convinced the diamond unpolished is overlooked and often kicked aside and for some the shimmering brilliance of a many faceted highly polished stones offers only a blinding light. That for many reason and logic is so in conflict with passion and desire, lust and longing that reality of even the moment is a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Nonetheless, I agree that ones quest should not be shackled to a quest, not at all.

quote:

As such, I do get your point and agree with it.  I'd like to add though, that I don't see contacting and getting to know a Domme as a process that's typically full of discussions on dogma.  Instead, it's often been one for me that's more often been sharing each other's personal philosophies on this lifestyle to determine compatibility.  Once beyond that, with intellectual capacity established, where many men often seem to be lacking is in emotional depth.  My observation is that those with high intellects, often use that as a shield which prevents them from connecting with others on a more basic emotional level (I've been this way at different times in my life).    

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

While I agree with you completely, Akasha, I know that several men have passed me by because I was not uberdom from the first meeting!  It truly can be an uphill both ways climb!