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Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:09:17 AM

submissivemiss38

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From: Ottawa ,Ontario
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I am looking for a dom who is fair but firm.....who can control me in the bedroom and out of it..........that would want a 24/7 relationship...a loving one..why are they so hard to find?

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:29:16 AM

wouldlike2

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be sure You are not the only one looking for that - smile -

anyway funny to say , there exist a lot of literature like "The loving Dominant" and how often i have heard this is one of the books let You get an insight of the lifestyle...
so was introduced to books like that...

sadly to say - the reality looks otherwise....

probably there exist... but its hard to find ,-))

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:30:13 AM

KatyLied

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I think it's difficult to find a compatible person for a relationship, in general. When you add the kink-specific things, it tends to get even more difficult. You may find someone interesting, but their kink doesn't work for you. Or you may find someone kink-worthy and their personality doesn't mesh. It's a daunting task, at best. But I will say "good luck".

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:30:40 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I am looking for a dom who is fair but firm.....who can control me in the bedroom and out of it..........that would want a 24/7 relationship...a loving one..why are they so hard to find?

Any time you specify limits including "alive" you cut down on the pool. With limits specifying a fairly narrow characteristic "dom" and further narrowing it to another subset "who can control me in the bedroom and out of it" as well as the largely coterminous but not identical set "24" and add to that you want one who will love you, you've defined a pretty small pond with not all that many fish in it.

For example, I think Libby and a number of others would consider me both dominant and loving, but the idea of having an inimate relationship with someone who needs constant control would be a deal killer. Both my wife and my playpartners can handle most situations on their own and can do so with the understanding that the outcome has to be acceptable to me. They use their intelligence and skills to bring about those outcomes. To have to control someone, in essence, to use them as surrogates, is just more effort than I want to put forth.

Good luck in your search.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:35:26 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

be sure You are not the only one looking for that - smile -

anyway funny to say , there exist a lot of literature like "The loving Dominant" and how often i have heard this is one of the books let You get an insight of the lifestyle...
so was introduced to books like that...

sadly to say - the reality looks otherwise....

probably there exist... but its hard to find ,-))

I wrote the book and no where in it did I say that this was easy. "Loving Dominants" exist. Of course most of them are already in relationships and the few that still remain at large are quickly snapped up by alert submissives. Adding other requirements also limit the availability.

It's like fine art. It exists but it doesn't stay on the market for long and the lazy or inattentive buyer often finds herself with a velvet painting of dogs playing cards.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:36:09 AM

xxblushesxx

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there are lots like that. I can think of two or three off the top of my head who post regularly to this forum...and lots more who I have spoken with. You just have to be willing to talk, and get to know people.

And again, there are lots of doms who come across as 'hard' but if you look closely...you can see the sweetness inside. Hint...just be sure it is actually there and not something you 'see' because you want it to be!

Take your time and be open to meeting new people. There are as many different types of 'doms' as there are people...have fun, and enjoy your experiences!

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:57:26 AM

submissivemiss38

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I thank you all for your replies....... I can think for myself and don`t want a Dom telling me what to do and think 24/7 just some aspects of the relationship.keep it alive and exciting. I just know the way I want to be treated.........alot of respect goes a long way in how a sub responds to her Master. P.S. where could I find books related to the lifestyle?

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 11:15:29 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
P.S. where could I find books related to the lifestyle?

Amazon carries quite a lot but they can be hard to seek out so I recommend going to the publisher websites like

Greenery Press: http://www.greenerypress.com/
Daedalus http://www.daedaluspublishing.com/
Good Vibrations http://www.goodvibes.com/SubCategory--Sex-Books--m-07_23.html

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 11:50:30 AM

justatoy2

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Loving dominants do indeed exist. I do believe its more about the chemistry between two people then neccessarily finding someone who meets all the criteria you seek. One thing I was friends with my Dominant first. I have been searching for the right dom for some 15 years. After many years of soul searching, owning up to my own faults and mistakes, i was finally ready to accept that i may just be on my own. Then i met him suprisingly through here and we started as friends. He is not perfect. Does not meet every criteria i thought i wanted. But is indeed a loving Dominant. A wonderful mix of sadism and concern (not neccessarily at the same time). I think the key for me was realizing Mr Perfect did not exist. But instead i did find Mr Wonderful for me. Good luck in your adventures, and remember that..life is an adventure. Have fun, enjoy who you meet, and maybe your Mr. Wonderful will come along.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 12:38:49 PM

submissivemiss38

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thanks for the links............and your encouragement justatoy2 I know I will meet him some day.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 12:51:49 PM

windy135

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Since I have yet to meet a romantic Dom in person (that I know of) I would say they are an endangered species. :)

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 1:23:40 PM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

Since I have yet to meet a romantic Dom in person (that I know of) I would say they are an endangered species. :)

They aren't rare, but like free fluorine or oxygen, they are unlikely to be found uncombined. Find an unattached romantic dominant, hesitate to consider your fears and reluctances, and you are likely to find him walking away arm-in-arm with a woman quicker on the uptake.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 1:35:53 PM

Arpig

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Romantic dominants exist. I consider myself just such a creature, however, just what you mean by "romantic dominant" may be a different thing altogether. Like John said, the more criteria you add to your search, the fewer potential matchs you come up with.
Now i don't mean by this that you should simply accept the first guy who comes along with a crop in his hand, but that the lack of suitable suitors (I rather like that phrase....I'll have to try work it into a poem :D) may be because the searcher is being to picky, is requiring too perfect a fit.
We exist, we are out there, however, we hide in strange places, and often do not seem to be what we are right away.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 4:30:46 PM

Petruchio

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The simple answer is that the best Dom gene pool is in Florida. (laughing)

The true answer is that they do exist, so don't stop looking.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 5:30:19 PM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
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Well I can`t move to Forida lol.but I will keep looking.I know what I want . thanks.

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 5:46:33 PM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Well I can`t move to Forida lol.but I will keep looking.I know what I want . thanks.

He was kidding, but the advice doesn't change. Find one, grab!

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 6:17:01 PM

wolffeathers

Posts: 315
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

The simple answer is that the best Dom gene pool is in Florida. (laughing)

The true answer is that they do exist, so don't stop looking.

wow, so I'm from the best Dom gene pool?

As for romantic Doms, they are there.

And, unlike what some have said, I know many who are single.

It seems there are plenty of subs that don't want someone that is romantic (which screws me over).

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 7:49:07 PM

justheather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Find one, grab!

Eyup, that's how I got mine.
He came in different packaging than Id expected, as did I for him. While you are searching, meditate on what is genuinely important to you so that when he comes along, it wont take you more than an instant to recognize him. You will also very quickly recognize who isn't him.
Wait for him because he is worth the wait.
(And yeah, grab him)

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 7:52:27 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
P.S. where could I find books related to the lifestyle?

Amazon carries quite a lot but they can be hard to seek out so I recommend going to the publisher websites like

Greenery Press: http://www.greenerypress.com/
Daedalus http://www.daedaluspublishing.com/
Good Vibrations http://www.goodvibes.com/SubCategory--Sex-Books--m-07_23.html

You should be happy to know John that Barnes & Noble currently stocks your book and it can be ordered online for $13.72 when I checked today.
Loving Dominant at B&N

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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 8:17:03 PM

OscarHargraves

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Hi lady,
When you get discouraged in your search just remember the old rule, "If you're trying to find a prince, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs!"

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