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The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 7:55:56 AM

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The trend continues here on CM wherein the new fems find the site and normally after about 30 to 60 days have found the " master" that they sought all their lives but just did not recognize their need until now.
My thoughts center on expectancies on the part of these newly rewarded females or males as they have found the light and dedicated themselves to a "master"or mistress.
Is there a understanding that a " master"/"mistress" carries the power of ultimate right to do as he/she desires. Does the sub/slave understand that if she or he is to be loaned out to friends for sexual pleasure or any other service; that it is to be complied with.
for myself i do not think there is an awareness but i look to others for their thoughts, be yee " D " or " s" .

CP

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:03:15 AM

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well if the persons involved were aware going in that sharing was a possibility..or probability, and was not discussed as a hard limit..then it is the sub who must reconcile herself to this decision made by her Master
ty
ree

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:13:16 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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Well, I think you have it backwards. I think people first identify the need in themselves and then search for sites such as this.
Beyond that, I doubt that most women are going to agree to be loaned out or pimped out on the first date or two.

From my experience, and yes he found me within my first month of joining another such site, there was no expectation that I do anything like you're suggesting. There are more possessive men then there are men with a kink for sharing. All I had to do was keep being open in my responses as we explored through conversation what attracted me and what did not.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to marysdream)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:15:06 AM

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I think it's like any other group of people that are new to something. Some have done their "homework" and understand the dynamic. Some haven't. Probably tied to the level of common sense which has been discussed before. There is also the communication element. How throughly a pair negotiate and discuss expectations. Even some who are okay in background and sense can slip in this area.

l

_____________________________

De Ja Moo: The feeling I've heard this Bull before

i'm an adult so i can do whatever my Master wants

i swallow because i like to keep things clean.

(in reply to marysdream)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:16:46 AM

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i am owned by Bohemian Goddess and have surrendered full rights of Ownership to Her. As Her property, She has the right to do anything She desires to me and that includes loaning me out to others, both Female or male. i do not know if She would do this but She has that right.

(in reply to marysdream)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:22:20 AM

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The dynamic of any relationship is defined by the people in it. Master does not equate to the right to do as one wishes unless the other side of that dynamic jumps up and says, do as ye wish an i wilst be followin along behind ye wit me head down an me thoughts sorely upon pleasin ye an all manners o men that ye have me fuckin.

In other words, there should be no assumptions and nothing binds anyone to assumptions when they're made other than the lack of common sense. Even if said assumptions are written in blood prior to the arrangement, staying in it has no legality to it other than acceptance of that arrangement.

Basically what I'm saying is, some people need that kind of existence. Some don't. Some masters want that kind of ultimate control. Some don't. There's no gilded book of Advanced Domliness sitting atop Mt. Ararat that has been handed down over the ages and defines anything specific to kink as a whole other than it meet the needs of the people involved.

If it doesn't, master has no rights and submissive or slave has no duty. Relationships dissolve everyday, kink-related and vanilla, for lots of reasons. One of the big ones is that one or the other side ignores the needs of the other.

Being a master doesn't remove one from that requirement. It does however, grant an initial caveat that the masters needs come first.. I guess.

I'm no one's master and never intend to be.

_____________________________

--'Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform' - Mark Twain

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 8:30:11 AM

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~FR~

i am not one that would agree going into a relationship to be shared. my reasons are pratical, medically i dont feel it is safe. nor would i have that kind of blind trust going into a relationship. after a few years, perhaps, things can change. but, to think that just because i submitted my will to him doesnt mean i submitted my sanity or intelligence to go along with just any ole whim.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to StrangerThan)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 9:07:59 AM

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From: Montana
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I will agree with you. Many start their first D/s or M/s relationship wearing rose colored glasses and really have no idea what is or could be expected of them. After they are in their new relationship for a few months these very same sub/slaves will write to the forums again, asking if something their Dominant did or said is "fair" or "right."

However, this is not a sub/slave problem only. If the Dominant is more experienced then it is the Dominant's duty to explain reality to the sub/slave BEFORE taking ownership. If the Dominant, in the need to collar the new sub/slave quickly to ward off any competition fails to do so, then the Dominant can't complain when the sub/slave refuses to be pimped out because the Dominant says so. If the Dominant did not ask for a sub/slave's limits and did not explain why there are limits, then how can one possibly place all the blame on a newbie sub/slave suffering from sub frenzy?

By the way, I do disagree with what you said about it being understood that a submissive/slave would do ANY service required by a Dominant. That's why we have limits.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 9:36:28 AM

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the polyamory clause of a slave contract... hmmmm interesting.. I've seen it written down.. forced lesbian/gay activitys (in the list of things i'd never participate in.. as i don't believe in that style of D)

I believe you have the right to refuse service to anyone. Yes that falls under unconsentual service hard limit.. and you also always reserve the right to walk at any time out of the house.. yes..

However i think if your Master/Mistress has guests over for a evening. you should expect to know who is coming over and what is the expected protocol, decorum and what is going to happen for the evening.. Any Misinformation.. Suprise Mystrey Guests, would cause me to DISTRUST my partner..

You have rights too.. Even a slave orlandoslv can get up and leave.. If its unconsentual its RAPE.. plain and simple.. you have given her control and rights to serve her. You can certainly refuse.. and explain your position that you only worship 1 Woman and are not wired to polyamourus situations...
If she finds it unacceptable (she can certainly request you to leave) or you can take the first step leave her house on your own will.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 10:12:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
to think that just because i submitted my will to him doesnt mean i submitted my sanity or intelligence to go along with just any ole whim.

AMEN

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 11:32:25 AM

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quote:

after about 30 to 60 days have found the " master" that they sought all their lives

Actually, it is more like "within the week". I believe the majority of these women were looking for a partner or boyfriend, and just trying to avoid having to make the dating effort. I put new arrivals in my "Favourites" list, when I see something in their profile that interests me, and then keep an eye on the profile for a few weeks, before writing. By that time, about a third have either disappeared, or been "taken".

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 11:43:29 AM

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And this is why I have listed in my profile I am monogamous. Groups, poly and swinging are hard limits for me. Yet, even with that right on my profile, I get the uber dumbinants messaging me that I am to bow before their shining light of almighty power and submit wholly to be done by whomever they choose, or be called a fake.

Egads. I ought to be ashamed. Giggle, respond with cheekiness, delete & block, next...

(in reply to antipode)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 12:57:14 PM

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quote:

Is there a understanding that a " master"/"mistress" carries the power of ultimate right to do as he/she desires. Does the sub/slave understand that if she or he is to be loaned out to friends for sexual pleasure or any other service; that it is to be complied with

For some yes, for some no.
Never fails to amaze me how many subs / slaves top from the bottom though and get away with it.

_____________________________

Aka missturbation

It's not shopping if you buy 10 items or less.

If it fits in a toaster, i can cook it.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Prov

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 2:14:24 PM

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Since her submission is clearly a "gift," I can forward or "re-gift" it to anyone I choose.

Where do you come upwith this stuff? Some women might find this idea to be groovy, others, I am confident, would be repulsed.

Did you enjoy your stay on Gor?

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/22/2009 2:15:08 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to InTonguesslut)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 2:50:50 PM

susie

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FR

I set up a profile on another site and was contacted by my current Master on the same day. Actually within a couple of hours of setting up the profile. We chatted for a week and decided to meet. Something clicked and we decided to contiue seeing each other. We pretty much took the decision to become Master / sub within a month and have been together for nearly 5 years.

He was certainly the first person I had contact with from that site (there were many others during the first few weeks). Just because he is the first Master I have ever had did not mean that I lost all sense of what was needed to make a successful relationship and we took time to discuss all manner of things before moving in together some 5 months later. Just because someone is new to BDSM it does not make them totally clueless about life.

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 2:55:20 PM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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Domiguy: Oh i thought you were a regifter....so i guess the undies you gave me for xmas should be suspect....

CP: yes it is a trend...but then so is training wheels before two wheeling.....I dont see either trend going away because they serva the same important purpose....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to susie)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 3:04:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

well if the persons involved were aware going in that sharing was a possibility..or probability, and was not discussed as a hard limit..then it is the sub who must reconcile herself to this decision made by her Master
ty
ree

ree,

Your comments would be appropriate with a Sir relationship where " limits" are discussed; but a master or mistress carries the power that transends limits.

Welcome to the boards.

CP

(in reply to marysdream)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 3:08:48 PM

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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Well, I think you have it backwards. I think people first identify the need in themselves and then search for sites such as this.
Beyond that, I doubt that most women are going to agree to be loaned out or pimped out on the first date or two.

From my experience, and yes he found me within my first month of joining another such site, there was no expectation that I do anything like you're suggesting. There are more possessive men then there are men with a kink for sharing. All I had to do was keep being open in my responses as we explored through conversation what attracted me and what did not.

Des,

The sequence of site or need revalation is not that important. What is important is the trend of not recognizing the difference between a Sir and a Master along with the responsibilities for both.

CP

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 3:10:33 PM

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Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Since her submission is clearly a "gift," I can forward or "re-gift" it to anyone I choose.

Where do you come upwith this stuff? Some women might find this idea to be groovy, others, I am confident, would be repulsed.

Did you enjoy your stay on Gor?

while it may be true that gorean men retain the right to share their girls with others, the truth is very few do so. often, the owner will offer, and the one offered too will decline. ill leave you to figure out the whys.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: The Power or " Right" - 3/22/2009 3:11:44 PM

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Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: librarysub

I think it's like any other group of people that are new to something. Some have done their "homework" and understand the dynamic. Some haven't. Probably tied to the level of common sense which has been discussed before. There is also the communication element. How throughly a pair negotiate and discuss expectations. Even some who are okay in background and sense can slip in this area.

l

sub,

We I agree with your thoughts, now how to make a change for the positive.

Welcome to the boards.

CP

(in reply to librarysub)

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