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RE: Background Check - 2/20/2006 9:43:39 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
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simple but true "If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't".

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Background Check - 2/22/2006 10:58:11 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline
What a lot of excitement this thread has generated !

I would much rather hear " Im not comfortable answering that question at this time" than be lied to. Lies are total deal breakers for me.

I confirm telephone numbers before first meets and ask to see ID when I finally meet someone.

Right or wrong this is my "way".

If I felt I needed to know more I would never meet the person. After meeting someone I have many many more questions I ask before I consider makeing them my submissive. I expect a submissive to be a part of all of my life, not just the dungeon as I expect to be a part of all of theirs. Thus for me there is a long getting to know each other process.

Again just " my way".

During the consideration phase .. I always tell the potential submissive that I will require a STDs test before we play or before makeing them mine... I also let them know I am happy to provide the same.

Too often we ignore gut feelings .... and I have learned to trust mine .. even when I havent wanted to. "Chemisty" with a person doesnt mean that my brain ceases to function even tho my body may wish it did at times .


(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Background Check - 2/22/2006 1:11:36 PM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
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Okay I know Im pretty late with this, but here goes anyway.

Background checks. Ive always thought they were wrong, and would never do one on a potential partner. Recently I had to undergo a thorough background check for work reasons. Although I knew Ive never been in trouble before or done anything questionable, the few days of waiting for the results to come back were pure agony. I would never wish this on someone who I might consider playing with. *ever*

Lying. I dont believe all lies are bad. The only thing that makes them bad, IMHO, is the end result, which is of course very hard to predict. I do believe in karma, and untruthitudes will come right back at ya. So its better not to lie and be on the safe side as most lies result negetively. But really, if you went to visit your grandmother who was dying in a hospital and you tell her that she is looking much better today, even though she is looking worse, is it really a bad lie?

_____________________________

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

(in reply to CaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Background Check - 2/22/2006 3:25:32 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
This topic has been going so long i cant remember if i've already replied to it hehe

I think doing a background check on a potential partner is a pretty wise move.

For 30 bux, you can find out their financial situation, if they have had any trouble with the law, if they are married or divorced, lotsa stuff that could save you a lot of heartbreak in the future. I think this advice is especially apt for people using the internet to meet people.

It would be nice to live in a world where we could trust everyone, but we don't.

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Background Check - 2/22/2006 4:57:06 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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i'm peeking into this thread again, since it's still active...

Those who insist on background checks, would you do so if you met someone say....at work? At a party? At a convention or class or seminar? Through a friend? What if you struck up conversation with someone who seemed appealing to you, and there was some chemistry there and you wanted to talk further? Would you ask to see their ID? Would you need to know their financial history? Blood type? Mother's maiden name? (Okay i'm just kidding)

Or, do you feel that information would come about naturally, on its own through conversation?

What if they weren't wearing a wedding ring, and said they weren't married. Would you run a check anyway?

i know the Internet can be a cesspool of posers, players, users and abusers, and we should all be careful (it's why i googled my Master's name when we met, but then i would have done that to someone i met in person as well), but i am fascinated by the idea of running complete checks on people.

* i didn't have a chance to read all the threads - if this is a repeat of what has already been discussed - my apologies and feel free to ignore it!

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 2/22/2006 4:58:09 PM >

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 6:32:51 PM   
suzyqhot4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline
From someone who runs background checks on potential managers at work, it is amazing the amount of information you can find on someone. We also run BG checks on people being promoted into these positions and it has been shocking that we have terminated two people lately for being registered sex offenders (the nature of our business warrants not having this type of person employed with our company). I agree with the other posts that you should meet in public places first for safety's sake. I do, however, have to say that you can't know a person's true background just by looking at them or talking to them or interviewing them. The "swell" guy you are talking to could be a habitual wife beater and drug abuser and the lovely lady could be a registered sex offender for a felony involving a child under 12.

And I have never known a person that DID NOT have ANYTHING in their background to be concerned about having a background check completed unless there was something they were afraid would come out. Kind of like the drug user that swears they have never done drugs and then when the test comes back positive claims "my roommate does it all the time - it must be second hand pot."

In the words of Wayne and Garth, "Yeah, sure, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."

SuzyQ

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 7:05:09 PM   
ownedgirlie


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So...if you met someone at a party who wanted to take you out....you would run a background check first?

(in reply to suzyqhot4u)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 7:22:51 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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ownedgirlie........

LOL, don't be so rediculus (my best Desi)

The face to face thing combined with the human's inheirent discernment (a phenomena now officially recognized as absolutely unerring intuition) can save you from being killed, or more ghastly in a situation that is not entirelysatisfactory?

How many people per capita were killed by postal workers after the Boston tea party when we started issuing our own stamps for mail till today, compared to say the number of people that were killed defending their intuition since that same time, till today........


There has got to be a significance somewhere, ja?

good point og!

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 7:27:58 PM   
ownedgirlie


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lol i'm just saying there is the "reasonable risk" factor to consider, and frankly, my Treo doesn't process that quickly....heh.

i did not run a background check on my Master, but i did Google him and found myself even more impressed than when we spoke :)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 7:45:28 PM   
mnottertail


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mine was not a swipe at you........in fact it was in fundamental agreement........

That's the thing isn't it?

Some days your house burns up, and some days your house burns down..........

I wish you all the best og!!!

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Background Check - 2/24/2006 7:48:39 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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i know it was...i am just toying ...heh

The best to you too Ron :)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Background Check - 2/26/2006 8:04:28 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
TOYS?????????????
Did you say TOYS?????????????

Well; carry ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Background Check - 2/26/2006 2:55:21 PM   
gbgirlz2003


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm curious about something. If you already caught him lying to you, why bother asking if it was ok to run a background check on him? Seems to me you already had enough background to make a decision on whether or not to go forward with things.

Sounds like a head game to me. I don't play those.


I agree. I don't play with anyone whose Beacon score is below 700; but that is just me. BTW, I own my own business so running a credit check is easy to do. My motto, "If VISA doesn't want you, neither do I."

_____________________________

One of Master's many sluts

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Background Check - 2/26/2006 3:52:47 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
Now, how the fuck might we find your beacon score? You not showing up and all..........


There are sick bastards on this site, and you killed kenny!

mooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwm,
Eric Cartmann

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to gbgirlz2003)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Background Check - 2/28/2006 4:56:31 PM   
sineight


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline
i would deffinantly be causious about anyone that that made a big deal about having a background check. it doesnt nessesarily mean that the person is dangerous, but some people still like to have some measure of privicey.

(in reply to CaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Background Check - 2/28/2006 6:43:22 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sineight

i would deffinantly be causious about anyone that that made a big deal about having a background check. it doesnt nessesarily mean that the person is dangerous, but some people still like to have some measure of privicey.



I was thinking of doing a background check on myself... But, what I didn't like what got back?... mmmmmm I already stuck with me... so... I go on living recklessly, never knowing if I am a sadistic asshole out to harm myself or am I just a nice guy!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sineight)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Background Check - 2/28/2006 7:11:51 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
I asked for a background check once. It bounced.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Background Check - 3/3/2006 3:09:11 AM   
collegebeauty


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline
I'm a college student working on getting into the criminal justice system. I've been asked about my access to background checks, etc. First of all, no, I don't have access to those things, I'm not high enough up. Second of all though, and more importantly, if you're doing a background check because someone lied, or because you don't trust them, then you don't need a background check, you need to drop the person. Besides, someone has to be the first victim of serial killer, use your instincts, not a paper trail.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Background Check - 3/3/2006 5:00:41 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i'm peeking into this thread again, since it's still active...

Those who insist on background checks, would you do so if you met someone say....at work? At a party? At a convention or class or seminar? Through a friend? What if you struck up conversation with someone who seemed appealing to you, and there was some chemistry there and you wanted to talk further? Would you ask to see their ID? Would you need to know their financial history? Blood type? Mother's maiden name? (Okay i'm just kidding)

Or, do you feel that information would come about naturally, on its own through conversation?

What if they weren't wearing a wedding ring, and said they weren't married. Would you run a check anyway?

i know the Internet can be a cesspool of posers, players, users and abusers, and we should all be careful (it's why i googled my Master's name when we met, but then i would have done that to someone i met in person as well), but i am fascinated by the idea of running complete checks on people.

* i didn't have a chance to read all the threads - if this is a repeat of what has already been discussed - my apologies and feel free to ignore it!


Yes I would do a background check. Life is too short to deal with a married guy looking to get a little on the side. Which is primarily what I was looking for.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Background Check - 3/3/2006 9:08:15 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Not sure exactly what you mean by a "background check," but if that involves giving you information about where I live, where I work, not to mention things like my social-security number, there's no chance in hell I'm going to let a stranger pursue something like that. For all I know, someone who makes a request like that is a criminal trying to steal my identity.

Lam


This reasonable fear can be addressed by (1) hiring an attorney to run the MUTUAL checks, redacting all SSN's and other agreed-upon sensitive information before turning them over and (2) using public records. Google His name. Check Land Deeds, for most married people hold property as tenants in common or some such. Check the newspapers in the cities and times He claims to have lived. However, this is a poor cousin to the background check with SSN and releases, allowing one to see credit & criminal histories.

i agree with those who posted "there is no such thing as a small lie" and with those who posted "listen to your instincts". However, if you are moving, cohabitating, etc., it makes sense to me to eliminate risk.

candystripper


< Message edited by candystripper -- 3/3/2006 9:09:10 AM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 160
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