RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom?

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/6/2009 9:54:28 PM

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Okay. This is what I mean about the old boy's network.   Thanks for checking on my street cred, Emperor. Just an FYI, I use my real name in the scene, not Hibiscus. And, no one knows everyone, thank goodness.

Michael, this scene IS incredibly passive.   Everything is swept under the rug, or DISMISSED AS GOSSIP. Evidently, if something is not prosecutable, or in the daily papers, it lacks credence.    That's what the people want, it seems.   I can't imagine anyone being drummed out of the scene here, for anything. Evicted from a party, perhaps, but that would be the extent of it.   Those who are running events have to make their nut, and close their eyes. As indeed they should, they are running public events, and as long as their party rules are abided by, everyone's money is green.

I am not the scene police.   I did not seek this problem out. IT WAS BROUGHT TO ME. I hoped that strangers would be able to offer some kind of practical assistance to me in approaching this person, since nothing non-confrontational has helped.    YES I know firsthand some of the things he has done. I really don't care to share them on a public forum.   The things that happened when I was a witness, I dealt with. The extent of the new complaints surprises me.   Just so we're clear, though---rape is rape.   Threats of STD's, not a good thing. If being against nonconsensual attack makes me the scene police, then sign me up.    Yes, it is up to the persons attacked to press charges.   It's up to me to help those who ask me.

The man in question has been around a long time, he likes me, and he will listen to me without feeling that he is being attacked.   He is a long way from being the minion of evil that he is being painted as, and I think he deserves to be helped rather than reviled.   And no, I do not like him.   I don't have to like a person to want to help him or her.

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/6/2009 10:01:56 PM

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DA's don't prosecute rape except if it is open and shut and if she is enough of a slut to do bdsm (as it will be made out to be) then they won't do squat.

The problem you are going to face is that if the hosts of events won't do anything because of money and you run this guy off, how are they going to react? And frankly, anyone who was that tied to their pocketbook, I wouldn't support anyway!

The trick is to figure out how to allow them to act without embarrassment. Perhaps get the women to email privately to the hosts saying they will no longer attend if he goes.

As for educating him, someone wacked enough to use the date rape drug is NOT going to listen to you.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/6/2009 10:12:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Steel. Read my posts again, okay? I write clearly.

I did, Three times over, the former post still stands.

No this isn't Good ol Boy because if it were a girl crying wolf or a Domme using a boy as a piggy bank and ruining his life I would feel the same way.

I am not responsible for other people actions only my own.

You are not responsible for this mans actions of the things feeling obligated because someone brought them to you. However when you feel you need to "Save" the community from this guy you are really only practicing "Your kink is Not my Kink and your kink is wrong" Pure and simple.

like I said the guy is a Douche, but that isn't your problem and if GROWN people will no longer attand something because he will be there please pass my regards to your your community cause highschool was over a decade ago.

Steel

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/6/2009 10:25:55 PM

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Steel,

You and I have disagreed many time as you know... Great Post ROCK ON dude.

OP Uh if you have "first hand" knowledge then why have YOU not gone to the authorities??? Either civil or criminal?

Well Geez if he will "listen" to you as you claim. Ask him to stop???
Food for thought.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 4/6/2009 10:28:58 PM >

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 2:45:40 AM

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If there's a line drawn in the sand, I'm standing with Lady Hibiscus, with a few toes on Steel and BadOne's side. I agree with them that the people involved are adults, and need to be responsible for themselves and their choices - for better or worse. (This includes new girls being drawn to douchebags like it was the 5th law of physical attraction.)

That said, I am opposed to the "You do your thing I do mine" or "your kink is your kink and thats ok" or whatever the moniker is. Said theory deals with innocuous, ethical matters of taste. It's a theory that says "Yeah, watersports are ok. I'm not a fan, but it's ok." It is a way for people to acknowledge the consensual things others do, and not be judgmental. Expanding it to non-consent and other unethical actions is beyond the scope of the theory. Also, there is the issue of "mind your own business", another theory which does not apply. The "Mind Your Own Business Defense" is forfeited in matters of public play. If my girl has to endure a girl shaking and crying in the bathroom because of someone's sloppy play, it IS my business, and I have the right (and sometimes responsibility) to speak. Once its in public "mind your own business" is actually saying "Shut the fuck up while I parade myself all over your face, bitch." I don't stand for that.

The "bad dom" in Lady Hibiscus's example is not protected by those two privacy theories. His "work" is in public AND his actions are unethical, disqualifying both defenses.

I return to the issue of ethics and keeping to oneself. In issues of personal preference, my freedom ends where yours begins and vice versa. When someone begins to violate personal rights, they are no longer protected in this manner. Consider this exaggerated example, assume the law was not a factor.

Lets say the bad dom was into murdering submissives. Would we be in our right to interfere? Maybe warn the girl he's with that he ATE the last one? I say yes. What if he openly raped? What if he battered (beat without consent)? What if he assaulted (threatened the safety of)? What if he stole money from their purse? What if he has a history of breaking submissives bones? What if he has a history of breaking skin in a no-blood club? What if he was a terrible shot (we're talking eye-patches here...) with a whip?

These examples grow less serious, but where do you draw the line? It's easy to say "when the actions are ethical" but what does that mean? I'm not sure. I don't have a gospel truth, thundering down from heaven to cap this off, but there are times we speak up and times we stay quiet. I err on the side of safety, instead of kneeling before a plea of ignorance.

Being responsible for one's actions (a trait adults are charged with) includes being able to answer for them. "Look, it's how I do things" and "mind your own business" are not answers. They're responses, but not answers.

A thought: I'm not saying it's my (or anyone else's) job to police the world. Things happen around us, and we have to decide if we are going to involve ourselves. Is it worth the risk to life, limb, and reputation? The issue I'm dealing with is not "Do I say something or not?" it's "Can I say something or not, if I want to?"

Lastly, to the original post's issue: I'm an idealist, but a realist to know anything you say to this man is water off the duck's back. Assuming he has done the things he is accused of, I couldn't see him being respected by any community. Any community willing to honor such a man would not include me. I know its hard to leave groups behind... Very hard... but are those the sort of people you want to associate with? If the harm has never been explained, you could try. It's be futile - slightly less futile coming from a submissive her hurt, especially if she treats him as if her were disposable. I share your dislike of censorship (here meaning blacklisting), but sometimes it's the best/only way.

Edited to clarify just a few small things.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 4/7/2009 2:51:28 AM >

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 6:07:59 AM

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If he's spreading STD's, then the victims should tell public health officials. If he has date raped more than one woman, then if all of the victims go to the police and file charges he won't get away with it. One person they might say is sour grapes, but multiple victims? The victims need to go get a lawyer and have the lawyer go to the police for them. With legal representation, they will not be dismissed as sluts.

Beyond that, you say the local men in the group have talked to him and he refuses to change. That means he isn't educatable. He likes doing what he's doing. So it's time to call on the police.

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 7:00:11 AM

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Steele,

When would you ban someone from a group you ran?

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 7:15:11 AM

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The way this was handled in another group was that if the "offender" was noticed paying attention to a new sub then one of the women would talk with her and let her know that the man was known for being very charming in the beginning but not as skilled at being a Dom as he liked to portray himself. It seemed to come across better coming from one woman to another instead of another man stepping in because then the sub would be left wondering if the second man had pure intentions. No gossip was spread - she would simply be warned that the "offender" might not be what he was portraying himself to be. The sub then had the option of continuing to allow his intentions or not. If she chose to ignore the advice that was her choice.

If it is a public play setting, have a watcher appointed whenever he plays and willing to step in if it looks like things are getting out of hand. Let the sub know in advance that she has a protector there and if she is in any distress that she can call out to him. Be ready to stop things before they go too far. Let the "offender" know that the only way he will be allowed to play publicly at that even is if a watcher is with him because there have been past concerns and he will need to earn the right to play again without one.

I have seen subs that want a relationship so badly that they seem much more foolish than their vanilla counterparts. There are some that will ignore warnings and advance at their own risk. There is no way of stopping that. Other than barring the man at the doors there is little else that the community can do.

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 7:20:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

because THAT is how big a jerk he can be.

If he's that big of a jerk etc, I would imagine it would be just as obvious to others as it is to you.

If women want to involve themselves with a jerk, oh well, live and learn.

If you believe he's dangerous or criminal, warn your friends privately.

Keep in mind also, that the "date rape" and things of that nature, are only one side of a story.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 8:07:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Okay, guys, here's my story. We have a Problem Child in my town. He's been around forever. He preys on the new young girls because the ones who know him avoid him. His reputation is so bad that he is actually hurting business for certain events, because folks won't attend if he is there!

Naturally, this is all an "underground" reputation, because in the scene, if it's not prosecutable, it's just a bad date, right? He says all the right things in public, after all! Evidently, he is unteachable, or so I am told. As a female dominant, he has never ever done anything inappropriate to me, except demonstrate his utter lack of social skills. To other women, it's been everything from date rape, to telling one that he gave her herpes, to just playing so ineptly that we found his date sobbing in the ladies room.

What would you do? Anything? How would you approach this person and show him that he is not being one of the good guys? I know that you can't make an asshole change his stripes (or whatever) but what do you think? I am not a blacklister, and I am in no way suggesting that we do anything like that. I'd just like to see this guy's eyes opened.

Lady H,
You suffer for the 'sins' of this man? In doing so you give him more power than he deserves.

I'm impressed by the activity you describe in the Detroit 'scene'. Based upon your representation this 'dom' has the ability to have a 'sub du jour' at every event; even though, based upon your observation, he has a "bad reputation", "lacks social skills", represents he has "herpes" and left his play partners "sobbing in the ladies room". And yet he's still partnered up and corrupting the newbie pool - Damn! Does he look like Brad Pitt?

Appreciating that newcomers of either gender and any orientation need some guidance you can summarize that guidance by saying; "take your time" and "know the person (or persons) you play with." After that - personal accountability and responsibility are up to the individual. The person in bathroom made a decision and is suffering the consequences of her decision. Who knows, the 'herpes scare' may have been the ultimate submissive, humiliation, scene.

For one person to destroy or negatively impact a group; it requires group cooperation. If everyone who "knows him, avoids him" and he plays "so ineptly" eventually the talent pool drys up; 'Brad Pitt' looks notwithstanding.

What would I do? Well, assuming I agreed with your assessment of this individual; I may make it a point to insure anyone with him has heard; "take your time & know your partner". Were I confident that the newbie was so mesmerized by this person and believed him the 'one'; I'd relate a couple of the 'horror stories', but only if I saw them first hand. After that, I'd offer the newbie a friendly "good luck, have FUN!"; because, by definition, we are talking about consenting adults.

Whether at a club or private residence one person has the power to do something. A commercial venue in this economy, who has a person "hurting business" should have no problem excluding the individual. I've banned people from my parties for various reasons and have no problem 'chatting' with them so they know EXACTLY why. Is there nobody able or willing to do the same in Detroit? Again - why does everyone give him so much power? You don't need someone of the stature or 'Steel' - you only need someone with 'balls' of either gendar to look him in the eye and say to him; "you are not welcome".

You are not a "blacklister" but obviously you have a list in mind of what a 'good dom' does and how a 'good dom' should play; and this guy's activities aren't on the list. If they are not on the 'list' of the majority of club members and participants he should not be allowed to attend. That defines 'blacklisting' but so what? If you want to call it 'responsible' or 'protecting the community'; okay, but you, individually or within the group collective, still blacked him off the welcome guest list.

I've never been to a club where disrupting behavior was allowed to continue. The most strange was as a SF club where a friend of mine was told not to go 'sonic' with his whip. We found it a bit strange, but club standards should be honored. The decision is then a conscience choice; get blacklisted, obey, or leave. SOMEBODY in the Detroit community should be able and willing to have a 'chat' with this person and lay it out for him.

However, is this the consensus opinion? Such a 'dynamic' individual can create a schism. He can have a underground 'fan base'. Obviously he generates contact better than most who complain about never being able to connect real time with anyone. Maybe he can put on a presentation about getting people to meet you and play with you at a club quickly? Remember, you know the consequences of those meetings not what led up to them, or the exchange between this "inept" "asshole", and the newbie. What if it went; "I'm an asshole with no social skills and very little practical skills usually associated with BDSM 'play'. However, I'm a sadist and get off on humiliation and 'mind fucks'; I may even claim to have given you a sexually transmitted disease. I can get you into a BDSM 'club' I belong to and if you like to go and see what its like, I'd be happy to take you and abuse you in the process." Is it still his fault? Besides, with limits and safe-words what can go wrong?

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 8:13:34 AM

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I am not going to be posting anymore on this thread, it seems to me that my words are being twisted very elegantly. I am wondering where I mentioned "protecting the community", right now...

Merc, you are a genius of spin. Congratulations!

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 8:19:30 AM

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The problem with small communities is that when a rumour hits everyone becomes infected and rumours build, become distorted due to high emotion from the story teller and elaboration from every other tom, dick and harry that decides to pass it on - some will even feel drawn to that person b/c you know what some people are like with stereotyped arseholes. I believe it was stated that there was a threat of giving a submissive herpes, which is not an absolute and a case of hearsay. As for the accusation of rape, I can understand a person's reticence to come forward and notify the authorities, but if they opt to not do so, they need to be reminded that a person is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law and therefore, any commentts regarding his supposed 'guilt' are slander.

Having been on the receiving end of vicious gossip and the 'good intentions' of those listening to it based on nothing more than hearsay and a submissive whose affections I did not return (it was a very casual session-only kind of arrangement), I can tell you that such gossip is malicious, it's hurtful and destructive, and I could never compete, thankfully, with so many god complexes that police a community. In my case, the submissive apologised, admitted he'd lashed out due to feeling unhappy at his advances being spurned and wanted to hurt me - he succeeded. The apology was accepted, of course, however, people's memories are long and there's never any smoke without fire, right?

If it's a question of the good old boys' club doing nothing about this man, it is likely because there has been no actual evidence brought forth other than he said/she said gossip. I can, though, see where the good old girls' club is doing everything - except behave prudently and refrain from alarmist reactions at a sistah's seeming inability to make healthy choices.

And Lady Hib, you have said that if this man has behaved inappropriately at parties/clubs previously and you have attended to it, why has he been allowed to continue participating at such gatherings if his actions were unsafe? I don't doubt that he's a class A pecker, they abound in every community, and if you really want to take on the role of educator, do it via classes on safety for newbies. There is scant information provided and a ton of it left out - it's the left out information that I'd want to know about, ie what circumstances led up to a, b and c. The problem with seeing antisocial behaviour is that rarely people speak out when it actually occurs, so the perpetrator walks off unaware they have behaved inappropriately (and maybe he does but he also knows he's not being called on it so it gives him carte blanche to behave similarly again in future) and the event is dissected by several people who only have one person's account of what took place. To be honest, I have never attended a play party where inappropriate behaviour went unchallenged.

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 8:36:57 AM

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G'morning all:

(Fast Reply)

Ooh, do we all get to be the scene police now?

Individuals that have reached majority age are accountable for their own actions and the judgments they exercise. I don't feel a whit of sympathy for these "newbs" if they failed to take responsibility for their own lives and allowed some loser/user to manipulate them.

LH, I rarely disagree with your views but I'm calling bull here. We're only getting one side of the story and all of it bad press. I'm going to play devil's advocate and ask for proof. Not hearsay from sobbing submissives that had their balloons popped. If I listened to everyone's else's opinion of a stranger before I met them, I'd have an even smaller circle of acquaintances than I currently do. On another note, if the "scene" in your neighborhood is so passive and it annoys you so greatly, why continue to be a part of it? Food for thought...

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 8:38:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Steel,

When would you ban someone from a group you ran?

That is a difficult question to answer. I perfer not to be the sole end-all-be-all of any community. In TNG Groups that I helped to start I suggested that a Board of at very least 5 members be part of. I don't believe one person should be the end word for any group as no one person should speak for everyone.

I also believe that board meetings should be held monthly to discuss things like this and that the group should be encouraged to attend.

I believe in frank discussion and I have pulled people aside at play parties and munches and asked that they "Chill" the problem is that with Dominance offten comes Ego. If you think it is your job to speak you everyone you need to talk to EVERYONE and find out what the Majority feels. Once the majority has spoken then that is what should happen.

I also believe that a Set of Core Quality Expectations should be created as standards of expectations. A Community should have such things. If you want to belong to this community then you need to carry yourself in such a manner. If you cannot then just because you live in the area does not mean you are automatically a part of the community.

I do not believe one should look the otherway that is not what I suggested nor what I believe, I think there are easier ways of dealing with a "problem dom" than resorting to possible Slander for telling a whole bunch of people that they actually did something that was heard second hand and was not witnessed.

Hosts of Play Parties who don't like this guy are in power to ask him to leave. EVERY play party is a Private event. If this guy is that bad then he should be turned away at the door. If his play is Dangerous and he is being irresponsible then a DM should STOP the scene and if it happens enough then a good Group of DM's can Ban him from Play at any Private Scene.

The issue that I have is when ONE person takes it upon themselves to Police the Whole of the community. One Persons Douche Bag is another persons Dom of Doms. This is important to remember. Just because it isn't YOUR cup-o-tea doesn't make it WRONG, it just makes it annoying for you.

This guy is accused of Date Rape. Call the Police, if the sub doesn't want to then maybe there is a reason it's the subs decision to make.

This guy left a girl crying in a Bathroom. Tell the Host, I have seen MANY girls crying in the bathroom because they felt that there wasn't enough Drama in the house or because they didn't get enough Aftercare or because they safe worded and feel the world must now come to an end. Shit I have seen girls crying in the bathroom because some other sub talked to their Master and they were sure now their master was gunna leave them for the new slut. Parties of ANY KIND tend to bring Drama at some point.

This Guy gave someone Herpes, or said he did. Well this would be an excellent reason to be an advocate for Condoms and STD/VD Screens before you start the horizontal hokey-pokey.

None of these are things that anyone other that the People who were ACTUALLY INVOLVED in it need to deal with. Tell those who may be in direct danger if you are close enough to them to justify giving that kind of information and leave your opinions for those who ask for them.

As for Banning someone, When I worked at Pal Joeys inside Hide'n'Seek in Las Vegas there was a simple rule, if someone had to talk to you about something you were doing then that was your one and only warning if you did it again or if someone had to talk to you twice in one night you were GONE. Poloroid Taken and Trespassing Paperwork Filed, if you cannot be responsible for your own actions then you cannot be responsible enough to use the Facillity.

Munches are Gatherings and usually in Public Bars or Restraunts. Guess what you cannot Ban Someone from a Public Place. You can ask them not to attend and you can make it less than attractive for them to attend, but you just can't Ban them unless the establishment is willing to Trespass them or 86ing them.

Play Parties are more offten than not in Private Homes or in Private Clubs, If the Home Owner or Club Owner doesn't like the guy don't let him in the door.

As I said in my first post, 99.9% of the time all you have to do to get rid of a Douche Dom is Injure his Ego, when he fucks up CALL HIM ON IT. Do this enough times and he'll throw that Mighty Dom Cape over his shoulder and trow his nose in the air and say "You Obviously don't know who I think I am!" and leave.

I am not saying give him a Pass because someone might like his behavior, I am saying that it isn't any one persons job to decide for an entire community who stays and who goes and when you defame someones character without knowing all Three sides of the Truth, then you are just as bad as what you are speaking out against.

At least that is in my opinion anyway.

Steel

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:03:35 AM

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While many of you have valid points of the he said she said nature and one persons kink not being another. There is a good old boy network and mentality that has to stop. Men if you see abuse and allow it you are part of the problem. Its the problem that men turn the other way when a man abuses a women. Its the mentality that its ok for men to cheat and their budies to condone it. Its the mentality that makes it ok for men to treat women like a peice of meat and degrade her with "hey babys" and cat calling. Its the mentality that makes the man a stud and the woman a slut. Its the mentality that if a women is raped her dress and her past are put on trial. I mean, come on bitch was asking for it. Dont pretend this doesnt exist. I have seen many engage this way. Even publically some years ago where Clarence Thomas got to be judge and Anita Hill a respected woman was made fun of and called a liar. i dont expect that all DM's even pay attention and know how to go about or even care to deal with these problems. But any one here who condones this behavior is part of the prolem. Its insidious and built into a mysogonist fabric of society.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/7/2009 9:04:32 AM >

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RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:27:20 AM

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Lush, you mentioned that men turn the other cheek when their buddies cheat on their respective partners, perhaps they think, as I do, that it's strictly between the people involved and not their call to be the bearer of bad news? What men seem to lack, many women more than make up for with their belief that it's okay to immerse themselves in everyone's business. I would be damn angry that a person, even if they were a friend of mine, were to come running to me with tales of my partner's actions - I would consider it a personal failing of mine, and my partner's, that we weren't as honest and open with one another as we should have been. I agree that society has the scales weighed in favour of men and it is sheer hypocrisy for a man to be slapped on the back when he behaves like an unholstered dickabouttown while women are decried as sluts and whores, but I don't think that's really what is happening in the case of the OP. It is just my opinion only that I believe men have removed the emotional aspect and weighed up the facts as they've been presented, deciding that they are scant at best. Whatever the case, we'll never know b/c none of the men part of that old boys brigade are here to provide their opinion on the matter.

I have also seen the behaviour to which you refer, just not at play parties - any man, regardless of orientation, has not only been called out for behaving inappropriately at parties I have attended, they have also been left under no illusion that that was their first and only warning. If their behaviour has warranted more than a warning, they have been escorted off the premises and no further invitations have been extended. Admittedly, I cannot speak in terms of club protocol, I have rarely attended any to discern any kind of management for dealing with such behaviour.

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:33:47 AM

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The cheating is not what I was refering to Morggy. But you as a woman understand what I am talking about. If a woman does try to defend herself against a mans attack, she is made to prove it instead of beleieved. Shes called a liar,so why speak up? Why should anyone care whats happening? The women is villified when she tries to take a stand.

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(in reply to MissMorrigan)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:35:24 AM

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From: St George Utah
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lusciouslips19,

When you have been arrested for Battery for taking a Man off the woman he is Beating and she starts hitting you and then both press charges then you can talk about "Not doing something"

I am done playing Captain Save-A-Hoe, If there IS a Problem and she is an adult then she needs to save herself. When Younger and I thought I could actually save the world I did put my nose where today I know it doesn't belong and I almost lost it for my effort.

If Something is WRONG in your community Talk to the Source and if they won't do anything to change then you are done with what you can do. If you want then get involved in your community and make it better by agreed standards, but just because YOU think something is unacceptable does not mean that those who are engageing in it do.

What you do is only my business if it affects me and mine. Know this however if something you do affects me, mine will be the first face you see.

Steel

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:48:33 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2005
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Sorry, Lush, I read it in its most literal sense. Give me a slap, please!

There's no argument from me, there is a double standard with regard to how men and women are portrayed. In cases of rape, the burden is on the woman to prove she was raped and the defence will use the full recourse of the law to ensure their client is defended to the best of their ability - even if that means casting doubt on the character of the woman, which makes her feel as if she's reliving the entire attack all over again. In many sexual assault/rape cases it's impossible to prove any kind of attack due to a lack of evidence and society's attitude isn't helped when there are women that cry 'wolf'.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Male doms--how do you help a problem dom? - 4/7/2009 9:49:47 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

lusciouslips19,

When you have been arrested for Battery for taking a Man off the woman he is Beating and she starts hitting you and then both press charges then you can talk about "Not doing something"

I am done playing Captain Save-A-Hoe, If there IS a Problem and she is an adult then she needs to save herself. When Younger and I thought I could actually save the world I did put my nose where today I know it doesn't belong and I almost lost it for my effort.

If Something is WRONG in your community Talk to the Source and if they won't do anything to change then you are done with what you can do. If you want then get involved in your community and make it better by agreed standards, but just because YOU think something is unacceptable does not mean that those who are engageing in it do.

What you do is only my business if it affects me and mine. Know this however if something you do affects me, mine will be the first face you see.

Steel

You handled that improperly. You should have called authorities. Or better yet, get him to stop hitting her without resorting to the same tactics as him . Its sad when what you mention happens but I dont think the rest of the women should be unprotected because you ar no longer willing to get involved. I hope if you saw something happen to me you woud step in and deem me worthy to save.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/7/2009 10:00:23 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

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