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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:06:46 PM   
rockspider


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When i was 20 i certainly had a fancy to the 35 - 45 year old women. Now of course when that hasn't changed much it seems to make me a dirty old man. Nobody seem to find it odd that then i loved 21 year old scotch and still do.
For those 21 year old, they do make nice eye candy, but the thought of having to listen to them over breakfast i rather skip the cloose encounters. For the women i do have a question. How come, when you have meet mr perfect always seem to want to change him?

< Message edited by rockspider -- 12/7/2009 3:10:05 PM >

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:18:21 PM   
CaringandReal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira

Between two years younger and ten years older. You're still far off balance. I wouldn't mind fooling around with someone ten years my elder, but a relationship? Please. I know it can work as I've seen it myself, but I'd rather play roulette than gamble on those odds.



Eh. It works for a lot of people. It's not as risky as it sounds. Some of the happiest posters I've seen on this board are older sub women with considerably younger doms and older doms with younger subs. These are solid, lasting relationships too. Not quick affairs.

The awful part in such committed loving relationships is when the older partner dies first. It can be devestating.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SimonSekeira)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:19:46 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira

It's not even necessarily about older doms seeking younger subs. Most subs just don't give a shit about younger doms. Some want an older dom since they'll provide for them financially, some want an older dom because they think age always equals experience, and some just prefer (much) older partners. It always gets under my skin when I see subs my age with similar interests, who end their lengthy profiles with, "oh, btw, only looking for guys 40+ lol." It's like I might as well leave the community for a decade or so then come back. Probably wasting my time until then, anyway.



I don't think that's true...I ended up with a man 9 years older than I am but I definitely wasn't looking for that.

I'm 26. If I had to choose between a 27 year old or a 47 year old I'd choose the 27 year old without a doubt - an older (mid 40's+) man would make an excellent date for an event or something but I can't see myself being long term with someone who has such a different worldview and experience. Not to mention the physical attraction thing - if I were getting married I'd choose the guy who has 30 years before he starts to get bald and wrinkled vs the guy who will be that way in 10.

However I won't date anyone younger than I am and I prefer not to date someone my own age exactly so maybe there is something to this 'older men' thing - that being said there are younger men who are financially stable and experienced, and there are also older men who are broke and have multiple divorces and stuff.

(in reply to SimonSekeira)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:28:48 PM   
switch2please


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira

Between two years younger and ten years older. You're still far off balance. I wouldn't mind fooling around with someone ten years my elder, but a relationship? Please. I know it can work as I've seen it myself, but I'd rather play roulette than gamble on those odds.



I've been with B for about a year now, and we'd been dating for a couple months before we even bothered asking the others' age. We get along incredibly well, tease each other constantly - haha lots of age jokes, of course - great conversation, amazing sex, and we have yet to have a fight. He just happens to be twice my age.

It's working so well, I had no idea we were so off-balance! Please, enlighten me!! I clearly don't know wtf I'm talking about...

(in reply to SimonSekeira)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:28:49 PM   
nursemorgan


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oh what irony lol this young dom likes older subs:)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:35:10 PM   
Hierodule


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I often feel like I am a very young and inexperienced sub who is in a relationship with a much older, experienced Dom. Then I remember that I am 30 and would probably be considered "over-the-hill" by Doms my age and younger. meh... 

(in reply to nursemorgan)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:36:34 PM   
SimonSekeira


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quote:

ORIGINAL: switch2please

I've been with B for about a year now, and we'd been dating for a couple months before we even bothered asking the others' age. We get along incredibly well, tease each other constantly - haha lots of age jokes, of course - great conversation, amazing sex, and we have yet to have a fight. He just happens to be twice my age.

It's working so well, I had no idea we were so off-balance! Please, enlighten me!! I clearly don't know wtf I'm talking about...



I meant that going for guys two years younger or ten years older is a little uneven. Keep the sarcasm aside, will you?

And I never said that relationships with a large age gap don't work, just that it's harder. People have different interests, goals, and priorities at different ages, so it requires the two to be a bit more open-minded and accepting. If your relationship works for you, then great. Congrats.

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:43:22 PM   
Ladynslave


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While I am 2 years shy of the 40 mark, I cannot see myself seeking younger subs even as I age.  I find it is very rare to find someone 10+ years younger that I can have a conversation with, much less repeated conversation on a daily basis.  The way I look at it is I have to speak to them at some point even if it's to say, "Well, I've had my fun now get out."  Thus I choose people I can talk to.  I just happen to find them much closer to my own age group.  YMMV.

Lady

(in reply to leone1)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:46:28 PM   
switch2please


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira

I know it can work as I've seen it myself, but I'd rather play roulette than gamble on those odds.



In your earlier statement - posted above - you did say that it can work.  I realize a 20 year difference is far from the norm and it's not acceptable for everyone. I'm just defending my choice.
Any relationship is a gamble, but there are more relevant determining factors for a relationship than an age gap. It seems like balance should come from how the two people interact, common interests, and complimentary personalities rather than the difference between two numbers that we have no control over...

And yes, I am very sarcastic, sometimes abrasively so - I'll try to rein it in. Sorry about that.

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 3:55:05 PM   
SimonSekeira


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Yeah, well, no one's attacking your choice, so relax.

And, yes, I'll agree with your thoughts on age, but I'm not the one to convince. It's everyone else who thinks that suddenly at the age of 24 or 26 or 42 individuals become intelligent beings capable of intriguing conversation with solidly formed opinions and interests who need to be convinced. I've seen just as much vapid self-centeredness and ignorance among my 50+ year old coworkers as I have among peers my age.

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:03:42 PM   
sweetsub1957


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Simple.

1. The younguns are cuter.
2. They're not sophisticated enough to recognize a line of bullshit yet like the older women can.



quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: leone1

Line of bullshit like what? May I ask.


About anything.  Take a forty year old woman.  She will likely have encountered the guy who says he's not married when he is, the guy who refuses to commit, the guy who chooses video games over a relationship, the guy who has substance issues... and her attitude is "I've been down that road and am not going there again."

A younger woman may not be able to spot them the first time.



quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Younger ones have smoother skin, tighter, smaller bodies, firmer tits, more naive, not as much baggage, moldable, more energetic.




I love when people get straight to the point. 

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:03:50 PM   
Hierodule


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I'm pretty atavistic. When it comes to movies, music, and general cultural literacy, I have way more in common with My Master than I do with my roommates. I have also noticed that men in my age group/social circle (the skinny, scummy hipsters whom I usually date,and used to call "my type") have NO desire to put me "in my place" or take the role that I want a man to take in a relationship. Sure there are exceptions to that, but I haven't seen them much. The last two young "hot" guys I dated refused to slap me in the face. My Master has no problem helping me out with that. I know this is about people who identify as Doms and not the general population of 20 and 30 somethings. However, I have noticed that there is a bit of a generation gap when it comes to men interested in the kind of dynamic I want. Something happened to these babies born in the eighties. They lack a bit of passion and care too much about what others think of them (generally speaking) 

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 12/7/2009 4:05:44 PM >

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:04:42 PM   
switch2please


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Damn. You're right - no one's lunging, so there's no need for a parry...touche.  
It does seem that a disproportionate number of women my age are with men his age for completely the wrong reasons - and that bothers me. That's where the aggression was coming from.
There's no magic number or proven formula to get rid of vapid egotistical ignorance, more's the pity...but if there was, it would be '42'!
(super-nerdy joke...couldn't resist...)

(in reply to SimonSekeira)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:04:45 PM   
AnimusRex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
...an older (mid 40's+) man would make an excellent date for an event or something but I can't see myself being long term with someone who has such a different worldview and experience.


My thoughts exactly.

Age is only a number, they say.
Really? How sad and depressing is that!

I am a year away from 50.

How awful would it be to think I am not better, not more wise and mature and worldly that I was at 25. Wouldn't it be horrible to think that I am nothing more than a 25 year old man, who is 25 years closer to death.

I am a 49 year old man, with 49 years of wisdom, 49 years of experiences, travels, 49 years of mistakes and corrections and adjustments, and most importantly, 49 years of growth.

How could a 25 year old woman understand me- how could she possibly know how I feel and think? How could she be my emotional peer?

Its not that younger women are not intelligent, or even mature. I have had interesting and provoking discussions with younger women, and have met some 20 year olds who had plenty of emotional maturity and wisdom. I could see myself having a wonderful romance and short relationship with someone of just about any age.

But we would always be at a remove from each other, separated by that gulf of experience and growth.

There are limits to everything in life, and there is a beauty and grace in accepting and embracing them.

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:12:25 PM   
SimonSekeira


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It would be quite awful indeed, but for how many people would it be the truth? How many other people at 49 don't have a journal that says "woke, work, ate, slept" for the first entry and "ditto" for the next ten thousand? If you have 49 years worth of really living, then you should be quite proud, for you're an exception and not the standard. It's not the length of your life that matters, it's the density of it.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:19:48 PM   
AnimusRex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira
It's not the length of your life that matters, it's the density of it.


Thank you.
It has been said that I am more dense than most.

(in reply to SimonSekeira)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:22:11 PM   
SimonSekeira


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Funny, too. Apparently.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:27:10 PM   
switch2please


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"How could a 25 year old woman understand me- how could she possibly know how I feel and think? How could she be my emotional peer?

Its not that younger women are not intelligent, or even mature. I have had interesting and provoking discussions with younger women, and have met some 20 year olds who had plenty of emotional maturity and wisdom. I could see myself having a wonderful romance and short relationship with someone of just about any age.

But we would always be at a remove from each other, separated by that gulf of experience and growth.

There are limits to everything in life, and there is a beauty and grace in accepting and embracing them."



One of the most frustrating qualities of twentysomethings...we just don't listen
I have trouble accepting limitations, let alone embracing them - whether it's immaturity or stubbornness, time will tell.

Well said. I always enjoy reading your posts.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:45:52 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
...an older (mid 40's+) man would make an excellent date for an event or something but I can't see myself being long term with someone who has such a different worldview and experience.


My thoughts exactly.

Age is only a number, they say.
Really? How sad and depressing is that!

I am a year away from 50.

How awful would it be to think I am not better, not more wise and mature and worldly that I was at 25. Wouldn't it be horrible to think that I am nothing more than a 25 year old man, who is 25 years closer to death.

I am a 49 year old man, with 49 years of wisdom, 49 years of experiences, travels, 49 years of mistakes and corrections and adjustments, and most importantly, 49 years of growth.

How could a 25 year old woman understand me- how could she possibly know how I feel and think? How could she be my emotional peer?

Its not that younger women are not intelligent, or even mature. I have had interesting and provoking discussions with younger women, and have met some 20 year olds who had plenty of emotional maturity and wisdom. I could see myself having a wonderful romance and short relationship with someone of just about any age.

But we would always be at a remove from each other, separated by that gulf of experience and growth.

There are limits to everything in life, and there is a beauty and grace in accepting and embracing them.


Exactly!

I have experience in this - when I was 19 I had a liaison with a 45 year old for close to a year...I loved him and adored him and everything but sometimes he got so annoyingly *paternal* with me. I'd tell him "yes you might have made that mistake when you were younger, but I might not make it. And even if I do make it, it's my mistake to learn from, I can't just internalize *your* experiences."

There's always going to be a disconnect in a May-December relationship, of course for some women that's exactly what they're looking for and that's why it works so great, but regardless it's going to be there.

I remember when the US was about to go to war with Iraq, a lot of people I knew in my mother's age group said things like "This is exactly like Vietnam, they're going to start to draft people," while everyone my age said that was ridiculous. The world has changed so much - back then you could be exempt from the draft if you went to college...today who *doesn't* go to college? Back then you dug up some bizarre obscure medical history to get yourself exempt...today half the people would be too *obese* to be drafted. Back then, men were drafted. Today, men still are the only ones to register but you won't be able to draft them without someone saying that since women are equal now, they should be drafted too.

You're 49 - you were in your mid 20's/early 30's during the first 10 years of my life, the 80's and early 90's *shaped* me as a person, while they just sort of influenced you. That's a huge thing, and again since some people are looking for that, that's great, but denying it exists might cause problems.

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 12/7/2009 4:46:48 PM >

(in reply to AnimusRex)
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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/7/2009 4:47:38 PM   
nighthawk3569


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u can spel? r u sur?
 
           'hawk

(in reply to switch2please)
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