RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves?

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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/8/2009 8:26:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Also, Simon.... If a woman says, "Thanks, but I'm looking for someone older, no offense," what she often means is, "I'm looking for someone who acts older than you are acting."

Going the other direction, I had a relationship in 2008 with a sub I met on Alt who was 26 (I was 40), and posted on her profile that she didn't want to hear from anyone over the age of 30, no matter what. I wrote her anyway, and explained why she interested me. She responded by saying how much she had been fantasizing about being with a creative man. We started dating. I don't act old and stodgy, so she overlooked the age difference, and started flirting.

People say you're only as old as you feel. Maybe, but in the dating world, the babes tend to think you're only as old as you act.

Yes, except no one has ever said anything to me of the sort. Again with these presumptions.

Regardless, I'm glad that your thing worked out with the 26 year old. I still really don't feel like trying to pursue anyone with a profile that flat out states I'm out of their age range (call it laziness if you will), but it's nice to see that some people are open-minded even outside of their word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
That's cool but I don't see why you said you should leave the lifestyle for 10 years because some girls are only interested in older men.

A larger available dating pool and I've got other interests too, you know. I'm quite fine with dating vanilla girls, too. And, geez, lighten up. Don't take everything so seriously.

< Message edited by SimonSekeira -- 12/8/2009 8:33:48 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/8/2009 8:38:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Going the other direction, I had a relationship in 2008 with a sub I met on Alt who was 26 (I was 40), and posted on her profile that she didn't want to hear from anyone over the age of 30, no matter what. I wrote her anyway, and explained why she interested me. She responded by saying how much she had been fantasizing about being with a creative man. We started dating. I don't act old and stodgy, so she overlooked the age difference, and started flirting.

This, btw, is very true...and women also like to be pursued. Honestly if a girl tells a guy she isn't interested, I personally think the guy has nothing to lose by making one big bold gesture to try again - I'd say at least 20% of the time if he does, the woman will give him a chance. Of course if it doesn't work, you just have to let it go and not be a stalker, but IMO if Simon met a 20 year old who said she's only interested in much older guys, if he sent her a confident and well thought out message saying why he liked her without second-guessing her age choice I'd say a fair bit of women might respond positively.

Most women aren't into older men because of the way they look...oh sure there is something totally hot about that distinguished grey-hair around the temples, little bit of wrinkles around the eye thing but generally it's the way they act - the way they talk, dress, interact. A lot of younger men are stuck in the baggy jeans, big t-shirt and either sneakers or scruffed shoes thing, they'll call women "dude" and text c u l8r bb instead of see you later baby. Not to mention the fact that younger guys are often more obviously interested in "getting laid" whereas an older person has a more developed sense of sexuality.

The point is that there are younger doms who defy these stereotypes, and a woman would rather go out with a younger (chronologically) man who acted mature rather than an older man who still acts like a frat boy. Now obviously if you're 21, you're not going to approach a 25 y/o who says she wants older men, but if a 21 year old woman says she won't date anyone under 25, all it means is that she won't date anyone who acts that young. 25 is a good age-cutoff because most men that age have finished university and are making steps into their career, so you can really feel the drive and ambition they exude. The world is theirs for the taking, and I'm sorry but that's fucking hot.

If a younger man has that same attitude, I don't see why he'd let an arbitrary chronological age limit stop him from going after a woman his own age.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/8/2009 8:43:27 PM

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Yes, those are all well-made points.

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/8/2009 8:50:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimonSekeira
Yes, except no one has ever said anything to me of the sort. Again with these presumptions.

There are a lot of people reading this thread. The world is not all about you, and nowhere in my post did I say that a woman had said such a thing to you. I told you that when a woman says such a thing, she often means that she wants a man who acts more mature than the man she is rejecting. I also know that my "audience" is not just you. It includes a lot of people who are trying to figure out how to do the online dating thing.

I am pretty confident you aren't listening. I'm not posting to convince you of anything. I hope some other people will get something out of it, though.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to SimonSekeira)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/8/2009 10:04:46 PM

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RedMagic has an excellent point about being as old as you act. Personally, I am more comfortable with younger guys because I don't act my age. I love toys and games and am happier with people who are at that same level of gaming goofiness. I also strongly disagree that there is such a thing as a relationship without video games. Well, or at least computer games.

Simon, I see you feeling defensive and honestly, and I'm not trying to be mean, you're reacting poorly. I would like to think no one is saying that you personally are a bad person. But the way you're responding is not giving the impression of Domly self-control. Speaking for myself, I want a D-type who has more self control than I do. Age has less to do with it than strength of character and of will.

[tangent]
What I find amusing are all the posts claiming there are no 'real' people here, nothing but fakes. But at least some of them I think are mourning that there are no 'real' drop-dead gorgeous, financially stable 20 year olds who are yearning for 24/7, no limits slavery with them
[/tangent]

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(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/9/2009 1:21:55 AM

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It adds to the feel of dominace
Plus younger ones are cuter and more open to whatever U have to say

(in reply to leone1)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/9/2009 9:24:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

more open to whatever U have to say

younger people can be bloody stuborn also..and act they have 40 years of life experience.

I guess we have to look from person to person. Every one is different

(in reply to MasterUchiha)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/9/2009 9:59:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

more open to whatever U have to say

younger people can be bloody stuborn also..and act they have 40 years of life experience.

I guess we have to look from person to person. Every one is different

Yes, they can act any number of ways

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to Justme696)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/9/2009 12:23:38 PM

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Why do some men (into BDSM or not) have a 'mid-life crisis' around that age of 40, whether it's seeking out a young lover (vanilla or slave), getting that sporty little car, or whatever it may be?

To reclaim a sense of youth and vigor
To create some sense of "accomplishment" that they believe they should have attained by that age
To propogate the species (in a very neo-Darwinian psychology kind of way)

And the tighter bodies often associated with young subs don't hurt either.

But as some have posted, there are not general rules ... either about young subs having tighter bodies or older guys wanting young subs.

(in reply to leone1)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/10/2009 5:38:06 AM

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From: Germany
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Pretty easy I think:
-younger subs are cute/ pretty and stuff
-an older guy with a young girlfriend gets a huge ego boost
-younger subs often have little experience and can be persuaded to do a lot more
-also, they might be easier to manipulate
-etc

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/10/2009 6:03:23 AM

PrimalConsonance

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(CNJDom here:) Not all of us older dominants are drooling over younger submissives. I can see why older dominants would want to go after younger submissive women, sustaining a sense of youthfulness with surrounding one's self with "youts". All that innocence and wide-eyed anticipation....the superficial qualities are obvious. Which is fine, keep it up! I personally enjoy all kinds of women (each a treasure), but prefer to play with more experienced and older submissives who have so much to offer. I'm not big on skinny or bratty for that matter, but those with experience, substance, and a little mileage of the soul are very appealing for me. So....while you're out there chasing a dream with passing grasps, more for me to grab onto to with a good grip and a knowing smile (well evil grin... but you know what I mean).

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/10/2009 7:25:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimalConsonance

surrounding one's self with "youts".

Judge: Two Youts? Whats a yout?
Vinnie: Oh..... i'm sorry your Honor, YouTHS.....
One of my favorite movies!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/10/2009 11:07:29 AM

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From: Ottawa, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimalConsonance

Not all of us older dominants are drooling over younger submissives. I can see why older dominants would want to go after younger submissive women, sustaining a sense of youthfulness with surrounding one's self with "youts". All that innocence and wide-eyed anticipation....the superficial qualities are obvious. Which is fine, keep it up! I personally enjoy all kinds of women (each a treasure), but prefer to play with more experienced and older submissives who have so much to offer. I'm not big on skinny or bratty for that matter, but those with experience, substance, and a little mileage of the soul are very appealing for me.

Alternately, not all younger submissives are seeking older dominants. In fact, I feel very uncomfortable around an older dominant for this very reason. I recognize that I am not as experienced or as emotionally secure as an older individual, and that I haven't fully "developed" (I'm not saying that after a certain point people stop growing and adapting to new experiences, but I do feel as though there is a point where people may gain the confidence that allows them to interact with the world with a certain level of assurance). For me to be in a successful relationship, I would have to be at a similar level of emotional maturity as my partner, and being young as I am, I simply cannot achieve that with someone who is much older than me.

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/11/2009 12:02:40 PM

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Presumably the same fascination that a 40-year old vanilla man has for a 20-year old vanilla woman. Remember the sex drive is deep and instinctual and ultimately has to with reproduction. So when I'm admiring some hot babe, somewhere my subconscious is saying, "A healthy young female capable of bering many viable offspring" while my conscious mind is saying "Great tits"

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: why do older dominant seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/11/2009 12:09:30 PM

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Since the beginning of time older men have always searched for the pretties, great bodys, the healthy to bear his children, thats just the way the boat floats folks...b

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RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/11/2009 7:53:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

more open to whatever U have to say

younger people can be bloody stuborn also..and act they have 40 years of life experience.

I guess we have to look from person to person. Every one is different

Yes, they can act any number of ways

Experience is also subjective - everyone's had the worst week of their life, no matter how long or short that life has been. I'd say social habits are a better tell, since a very introverted person is less likely to go out and do things than an extrovert, no matter their respective ages. Nor is acting limited by years....

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/11/2009 8:05:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: switch2please

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

more open to whatever U have to say

younger people can be bloody stuborn also..and act they have 40 years of life experience.

I guess we have to look from person to person. Every one is different

Yes, they can act any number of ways

Experience is also subjective - everyone's had the worst week of their life, no matter how long or short that life has been. I'd say social habits are a better tell, since a very introverted person is less likely to go out and do things than an extrovert, no matter their respective ages. Nor is acting limited by years....

i can dig it....i wasn't going that deep

i'm just sayin a 20 something can act 40.... But i HAVE BEEN 20 something AND 40!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to switch2please)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/12/2009 1:07:45 PM

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True. Eventually I'll be there....I'm working on it, one day at a time

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/12/2009 3:15:42 PM

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Find a young man around my age who holds the same traits as an older man in their 30's+

has been so EFFING hard.

(in reply to switch2please)

RE: why do older dominat seek yonger subimssives/slaves? - 12/12/2009 3:49:55 PM

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More exciting and challenging, wait till you get older and then ask that question again. Besides I love to rollerskate/dance at 60.. yaaahoo.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

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