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Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 4:40:16 PM

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This is aimed toward male subs (as they are often seen as the breadwinners) but I'm interested to hear what female subs say as well.

Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time? If so, are you worried about your earning potential should you ever have to return to work? Do you worry about not being able to accumulate skills in your field?

Do you worry about feeling any lack of self worth if your duties are strictly related to homemaking, housecleaning, or taking care of errands (again -- aimed toward men: Do you feel emasculated when your male friends have jobs/careers and you do not?How do you address that)?

For sub men that have a career/job right now, would you be willing to give it up -- for good -- in order to be a stay at home submissive for the long term? Would you be bored?

Akasha

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RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 4:59:13 PM

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Nice question.

Here are my priorities in life:

1. My soul, an inner state of being that isnt reliant on anything, so doesnt relate to jobs, careers, partners, family, friends, or whatevers for me.

2. My partner

3. My children

4. Community Service

Looking at my list, a career doesnt even appear, its just something I do..I dont get any sense of accomplishment from holding any particular job role title...god with the transience of jobs I'd hate for my sense of well-being to come from that area. Sure, I like to be productive but productiveness can be put into any area.

Answer: Would I give up my career for my Master? In the blink of an eye.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:02:37 PM

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As a Dominant, I would not even think about letting someone serve me who would give up their career to serve me. As far as I am concerned, there needs to be enough influx of income to keep both parties comfortable enough when living together. It is so hard to make it on a single income, as I have seen in my family. Until my mom took another job to supplement the income coming from my dad, my family suffered financial troubles for years. Going out to eat was a rare luxery growing up. Now, they have enough money to help put me through college, fix the house and allow them extra spending money they didn't have before.

Besides, if they are enjoying their career, and they still have time to serve you, why cut them off from it? I would be more afraid of their job finding out about their personal life and firing them.

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:05:07 PM

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From: Stockton, California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

This is aimed toward male subs (as they are often seen as the breadwinners) but I'm interested to hear what female subs say as well.

Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time? If so, are you worried about your earning potential should you ever have to return to work? Do you worry about not being able to accumulate skills in your field?

Do you worry about feeling any lack of self worth if your duties are strictly related to homemaking, housecleaning, or taking care of errands (again -- aimed toward men: Do you feel emasculated when your male friends have jobs/careers and you do not?How do you address that)?

For sub men that have a career/job right now, would you be willing to give it up -- for good -- in order to be a stay at home submissive for the long term? Would you be bored?

Akasha

After realizing the relationship was actually serious, yes, I could and would. I have 3 separate careers going at the same time, and each one would probably be more difficult than the others. My regular job wouldn't be that hard. My writing career would be a bit harder, and my long term computer gaming production product would probably hurt me the most.

But if needed, I would definitely do it.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:11:46 PM

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Terrific question, Akasha. Mine isn't the perspective you were asking for, but I'll answer anyway: I cannot imagine not working. Men who don't work always strike me as effeminate. Even if you're rich and don't need to work to support yourself, to me being a man means doing something.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:21:02 PM

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quote:

After realizing the relationship was actually serious, yes, I could and would. I have 3 separate careers going at the same time, and each one would probably be more difficult than the others. My regular job wouldn't be that hard. My writing career would be a bit harder, and my long term computer gaming production product would probably hurt me the most.

This makes me want to ask another question... I understand that the possibility exists that a submissive might relocate and either give up the career they are currently at or seek to find work in the same field where they move to... but what about something that can be done from home? As sarbonn states.. writing or the computer gaming production... couldn't that be done from home? And if so, would they still have to give that up? And again, if so... why?

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RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:21:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time?

The last thing 99 out of 100 women want is a man who serves but doesn't earn. In the FEMDOM universe I've witnessed here, the sub would be sent to work, his money banked in the Domme's account, and once home he'd be put into domestic service. I will quote Sarah Miller from THE BITCH IN THE HOUSE here:

"There are few things that make a man less attractive to women than financial instability. We can deal with men in therapy, we can deal with men crying, but I don’t think gender equality will ever reach the point where we can deal with men broke. I realize that they don’t want us to be broke, either, but when it comes to money, their desire, their requirements, are just not on the same scale as ours. Women might lose credibility as people when we are struggling financially, but it doesn’t interfere with our identity as women. It does not make us less sexually attractive. When the situation is reversed – when the man is the one struggling – this in not the case. One of the many lessons I learned in my relationship with Mike is that I will never, ever go out with a man who isn't naturally adept at making a decent living. I don’t care if I sound chauvinistic and retro --- I might even think that of myself from time to time. But I will never change the way I feel about this."

quote:

If so, are you worried about your earning potential should you ever have to return to work? Do you worry about not being able to accumulate skills in your field?

Do you worry about feeling any lack of self worth if your duties are strictly related to homemaking, housecleaning, or taking care of errands (again -- aimed toward men: Do you feel emasculated when your male friends have jobs/careers and you do not?How do you address that)?

This question is ludicrous, because it assumes any man would actually face this situation. Women who can carry a man rarely elect to do so b/c they view such a dynamic as "leeching" and / or "mooching." Usually high earning women have an even higher income cut for the man they might choose to date than the avg woman. I would imagine this even more true of a high earning dominant woman.

quote:

For sub men that have a career/job right now, would you be willing to give it up -- for good -- in order to be a stay at home submissive for the long term? Would you be bored?

IBID

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 3/17/2006 5:24:14 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:31:51 PM

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quote:

The last thing 99 out of 100 women want is a man who serves but doesn't earn. In the FEMDOM universe I've witnessed here, the sub would be sent to work, his money banked in the Domme's account, and once home he'd be put into domestic service. I will quote Sarah Miller from THE BITCH IN THE HOUSE here:

Wow, thank you cloudboy... I'm that one out of one hundred. I feel really special right now.

I'm a stay at home wife, our girl also stays at home, Scooter is the only one that works here and he prefers it that way. I want someone that is going to be here with me during the day, I don't see the point in having a sub/slave here that isn't going to be here... did that make any sense? I know that for a lot of people that's just how it has to be, everyone working and contributing to the house and for them it makes perfect sense, but it's different at our house, we're remodeling our home... all 3000 sq ft of it, so it isn't like there isn't anything to do all day. That and we tend to be very spur of the moment, there have been many times when hubby has called from work and said to pack, "we're going to Chicago for a few days, will be leaving as soon as I get home". If one or all of us were working that wouldn't be possible.

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RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:45:02 PM

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Yes, but my post addresses malesubs, not fem subs --- specifically the FEMDOM-to Malesub dynamic, which of course is female to male. As Sarah Miller points out, gender plays a large role in these dynamics and the attitudes are quite different.

Basically in your situation the Man is supporting the women (financially) which actually agrees with the tenor of my post --- or what I might call "The Sarah Miller Thesis."

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 3/17/2006 5:46:12 PM >

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:54:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time?

I don't think so. Submission is just one part of who I am. Being productive and feeling productive are important to me.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:58:12 PM

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quote:

Yes, but my post addresses malesubs, not fem subs --- specifically the FEMDOM-to Malesub dynamic, which of course is female to male. As Sarah Miller points out, gender plays a large role in these dynamics and the attitudes are quite different.

I think I may have said it wrong or something... I am referring to male subs... no one here holds a job except Scooter... no matter what the gender.

quote:

I don't think so. Submission is just one part of who I am. Being productive and feeling productive are important to me.

Being productive and feeling productive has little to do with a pay check. As I said, we are remodeling and believe me... when we get a new ceiling put in we've been very productive and feel very fulfilled by it.

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RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 5:59:52 PM

TeeGO

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This is not a realistic question for me. I have too many responsibilities beyond myself and my kink. But if we could set up a fantasy scenario were I would be supplied with enough money to take care of my children and also have time to spend with them. (Their mother is raising them but I have my responsibilities to them as well, they are the primary responsibility in my life at this time.) If after all that, I were to be taken in to serve a Dominant Female, or Females, or house, or something kinky involving service to at least a Dominant Female. Finding fulfillment in that would then become my career. So if by fantasy, the conditions I need were fulfilled. Yes.

But then again that is my kink talking fantasy. The reality is unknown and frankly will never be known.

But a thought provoking question none the less.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 6:28:59 PM

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My answer probably isn't typical for female submissives. I have multiple degrees and worked hard for them, so I'm fairly career minded.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

This is aimed toward male subs (as they are often seen as the breadwinners) but I'm interested to hear what female subs say as well.

Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time?

Not at all.

quote:

]
For sub men that have a career/job right now, would you be willing to give it up -- for good -- in order to be a stay at home submissive for the long term? Would you be bored?

I'm not a sub male, but I can't see a reason why I should give up my career. I would loose momentum, experience, contacts, etc. And there's no reason why you can't just balance the both. But being a stay at home I would definitely find boring in the long term. I'd have to find volunteer opportunities or sit on a board or something to give me some sort of outlet.

Now I believe in never saying never, I just don't think I'm the kind of person that would be interested in being a stay at home.

C~

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 6:39:20 PM

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Nope, not ganna happen. Good question AAkasha!

I've learned through the years that it's good to love and even better to be loved in return,, but the only person I can truely count on........ is me!!

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 6:44:21 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Interesting question...from my own point of view as a female sub I would be willing to possibly go part time if my Master would wish this ..however at least with part time I could still keep my foot in the business world so to speak and still have time to devote to him.Plus I am sure even with a part time income it still would be of assistance to maintaing the running of the house along with being able to as Shifted Jewel said to possibly pick up stakes and go off at a Masters whim for a few wee days or so.As far as a male sumissive not working I am sure as all relationships vary so to does the FemDom/malesub dynamic.But since I am neither my 2cents would be worth less..be well..Tempting

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 6:46:58 PM

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Short answer, no

Long answer, Absolutely not. Nothing is worth throwing away a career.

Your partner should respect your desires to have a career and respect what it takes to keep said career.

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RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 7:31:58 PM

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Sorry, no can do. And if asked to, then there's something wrong from the gets go.

Personal Priorties:

My own mental stability

My kids next always. (as long as they are minors... after that negotiable)

My Career

My Partner

If there's a need to come first before reality... one will have to live in fantasy land elsewhere. Because reality always win with this one. I'm not about to give up my life, just as it's not expected of him to give up his either.

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 8:16:18 PM

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If asked to, yes, I would stop working, for several reasons. One being that anyone who I was with would not have to support my daughter; second...with my job, I am not sure that anyone I was with would want me to keep doing it; and third, I perfer being at home and taking care of things there.

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 8:23:22 PM

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quote:

Are you willing to give up (or pause) your career in order to be in a service position full time?

Yes, provided that it did not harm my well-being.

quote:

If so, are you worried about your earning potential should you ever have to return to work? Do you worry about not being able to accumulate skills in your field?

No and no. I am an extremely fast learner, so picking up skills is not difficult.

quote:

Do you worry about feeling any lack of self worth if your duties are strictly related to homemaking, housecleaning, or taking care of errands <snip> Would you be bored?

This is the tricky part and the answers are possibly. I am an intelligent person with good critical thinking skills. Curiosity and learning are key elements to my well-being. My job fulfills many things that I require for my mental and emotional well-being. I would have to find something that is as mentally challenging and fulfilling for me if I did not have a job to exercise those aspects of my character.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Would you give up your career for submission? - 3/17/2006 8:25:34 PM

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Yes I'd be willing to give up a career for an owner.

I'd also give up a career to take care of my mother if she were sick.

Or my nephews.

Or a partner.

Has nothing to do with an owner- it's everything to do with MY values. And a slave who says "No I need a career to be true to who I am" is no less a slave who says "I don't need a career to be true to who I am" any more than a slave who says "No I need to be a good mother to be true to who I am" is no less a slave who says "I don't need to be a good mother to be true to who I am."

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(in reply to AAkasha)

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