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"Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:02:38 PM

Smutmonger

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I find this a bit odd when I run across it.

Do you think this weeds out "players"?

Does it put the cart before the horse?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:05:51 PM

FukinTroll

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Hmmm... really, if you think about it, all the skeletons (should be) out of the closet on a site like this. Life is short and with the bull shit aside it should be much easier to connect with a LTR.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:07:04 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I find this a bit odd when I run across it.

Do you think this weeds out "players"?

Does it put the cart before the horse?

I'm sure you realize that they probably don't expect it out of the next guy or gal who comes along.

I expect a lot of things but I know it may be awhile before I find someone who meets those criteria.

It's most likely their way of saying this is what I'm looking for and I'm not going to settle for anything less.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:11:49 PM

Tantriqu

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Lol, if only!

I use LTR and state clearly I'm ISO a relationship outside the bedroom, and that I wouldn't touch a do-me dom or 'sub' bottom or married or one-night stander with a ten-foot strap-on.
It obviously can't weed out all the skanky manho playahs, but it's a start.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:13:09 PM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Lol, if only!

I use LTR and state clearly I'm ISO a relationship outside the bedroom, and that I wouldn't touch a do-me dom or 'sub' bottom or married or one-night stander with a ten-foot strap-on.
It obviously can't weed out all the skanky manho playahs, but it's a start.

My house is one big room.... am out of the running now?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:15:32 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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I expect to develop a LTR. I don't expect that everyone I come in contact with will meet my expectations.

I much prefer things to develop naturally, and will meet people to see if there is chemistry, provided they have a similar long term goal. I'll even meet people just to become friends with no other goal in mind. Even then, I do hope that the friendship becomes long-term, otherwise, it's just an acquaintence.

If being upfront about my expectations is putting the cart before the horse...well...let that horsey push the cart, no skin off my back.

Do I think it weeds out the players? No, I still get plenty of players contacting me. It just allows those who are seeking similar things find similar people.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:16:04 PM

Pageturner

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I don't know that it would weed out players. A player by definition sees it as a game with sex as both goal and scorecard. Convincing someone that they're looking for a long term relationship then leaving once they've gotten their fill wouldn't be much of an obstacle.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:20:06 PM

Dominasola

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I have a question for you, Smutmonger.

Why do you think it is odd?

Indicating that a long term relationship is expected is just another area of compatibility so that the most can be made out of any interactions an individual may have.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:21:15 PM

Smutmonger

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Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:24:28 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

How does predictable play into things?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:25:37 PM

Smutmonger

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You make this cute little list-then expect someone to follow it.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:29:08 PM

VampiresLair

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I enter into all relationships expecting them to be long term ones. I have no interest in someone who is taking my time simply as an experience and not actually interested in building something more than that. So, why would it seem odd to let people who might be considering talking to me (back when I was single and looking) that I am not going to be interested in someone looking to hook up short term, or in being playmates but not long term companions? Id think it would be more odd to spring that on someone after chatting for a while and getting their hopes up for some playtime and then saying "Oh, and by the way unless you are going to be my boyfriend now this aint happening."

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:30:03 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You make this cute little list-then expect someone to follow it.

Oh I see.

I thought it was clear what I have and others have written above but I think maybe this is a little more of a rant because you don't like the subject matter.

It's really pretty easy I thought. I call that cute little list a check list of things I want and tell to potential females in hopes of finding one that says..Eureeka..My list is the same. Let's get to know one another and see where things go.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:30:36 PM

littlewonder

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I never expected anyone to do anything that was not what they wanted to do. When I was still seeking I said that I was seeking someone that wanted a long term committed relationship....just like I did. If they didn't fit that criteria then why bother responding???

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:31:07 PM

Dominasola

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

Then it's really just a matter of semantics. The connotations that are attached to the word "expect" are why you find it odd. Not the actual desire to have a long-term relationship.

Somehow I don't think the majority of the users on the other side really think about little nit-picky things like that.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:32:28 PM

Smutmonger

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And then someone changes thier mind.

Stop trying to make it about me and stick to the topic please.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You make this cute little list-then expect someone to follow it.

Oh I see.

I thought it was clear what I have and others have written above but I think maybe this is a little more of a rant because you don't like the subject matter.

It's really pretty easy I thought. I call that cute little list a check list of things I want and tell to potential females in hopes of finding one that says..Eureeka..My list is the same. Let's get to know one another and see where things go.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:33:51 PM

Smutmonger

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I'm saying you can hope for it-you can work for it-but it's never an entitlement. I guess it bothers me that some seem to think so. Arrogance?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

Then it's really just a matter of semantics. The connotations that are attached to the word "expect" are why you find it odd. Not the actual desire to have a long-term relationship.

Somehow I don't think the majority of the users on the other side really think about little nit-picky things like that.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:34:52 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

And then someone changes thier mind.

Stop trying to make it about me and stick to the topic please.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You make this cute little list-then expect someone to follow it.

Oh I see.

I thought it was clear what I have and others have written above but I think maybe this is a little more of a rant because you don't like the subject matter.

It's really pretty easy I thought. I call that cute little list a check list of things I want and tell to potential females in hopes of finding one that says..Eureeka..My list is the same. Let's get to know one another and see where things go.

Okay but it sounds like this has happened lately?

If someone changes their mind and mine doesn't then what can you do. They have to move on and I don't fault them for it.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:35:24 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

Actually, they are in that regard. Sure, some people just want to have sex and play and move on, but a lot of people are looking for people that will be a partner in their life as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You make this cute little list-then expect someone to follow it.

No, it isn't a "cute little list" that someone is expected to follow. Although there are some things that are non negotiable (such as not being married) it is simply saying these are things I desire in someone else.

It's very easy to let your dick or pussy lead you around, but in the long run, they don't carry on very intelligent conversations.

You seem to think that D/s and relationships are mutually exclusive. Do you believe that if someone identifies as sub or slave, then they should also expect to live their lives without a partner who loves them as well? Or perhaps you are one of those who think that sub/slaves shouldn't have any "expectations" at all because they are sub/slave. Either way, people, on the whole, are generally looking for people they can share more than just the kinky stuff with.

If you aren't, then that's you.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:36:42 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm saying you can hope for it-you can work for it-but it's never an entitlement. I guess it bothers me that some seem to think so. Arrogance?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Because people are generally not that predictable. It's like ordering something at a drive in.

Then it's really just a matter of semantics. The connotations that are attached to the word "expect" are why you find it odd. Not the actual desire to have a long-term relationship.

Somehow I don't think the majority of the users on the other side really think about little nit-picky things like that.

How can you tell that from a line like I expect this or that? Is it possible they didin't have attitude when they wrote it?

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