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"Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 4:22:03 AM

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So we have heard about Sub Frenzy.
I know many of you dont think it exists.

Maybe I should ask "Newbie Frenzy"do you think it exists?

You see people declaring relationship very quickly. Not just female.It all appears very junior high. Daddy to so and so but quickly another pet is in the horizon. Declaring relationships after a few chats and one meet. But you see soon he will be on to the next. Of course there is no exclusivity or taking the time to see a relationship develop in a grown up way.

A person old enough to have emotional maturity but they are not operating as an ethical slut and are making poor judgements that impact others for their sexual and ego fix.

Seen it in Dominant's too?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 5/8/2010 4:23:01 AM >

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 6:17:11 AM

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I think people want a quick fix and think that a relationship will solve their problems/dysfunction. If something is worthwhile and meant to last, it will happen. I think much of it is people who are horny and just want to get laid, yet feel the need to wrap it up in a "relationship" in order to feel better about their urges. People tend to forget (and some very easily), that it takes time and a multitude of circumstances before you can begin to know another person. But I enjoy reading about the merry-go-round drama, so it serves a purpose. I think the entire I found a master then 2 weeks later being single (again) is hilarious. People tend to look dumb when they make premature proclamations of a relationship.

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 6:43:46 AM

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ditto on the need for a "quick fix".

A friend of my sister "declares" boyfriends and lovers almost monthly it seems. Dunno how she can be that sophomoric after fifty years of men, but, there she is, another new "boyfriend" sitting down at Easter dinner with the family. She hasn't kids; she hasn't a really stable job; she gives out gifts left and right, mostly from her stock of stuff bought on sale during the year, she's the Hallmark customer-of-the-year poster child, and chain letters galore warning you every which way about some guy sneaking up in the back seat so make sure you check before you drive off stuff ....

Point is, there's a nascent need for being loved by some people that is probably similar to the Dom Frenzy you bespeak of. Nothing really wrong with that. Viva la difference, don't you think?

Hell, I have a BJ frenzy --- I need a woman sub adoring the head of my cock sooooo badly, I'll do anything for it ... so, who am I to scold another for their similar Don-Frenzy neediness ...

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 9:26:48 AM

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I don't think role is determinative. People get needy, insecure, clingy and even self-deprecating and willing to settle for anything for a whole variety of reasons. Sometimes, they're just lonely, sometimes they're nuts....the trick is determining which end of the spectrum they are on and how fast you should run the hell away.

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 9:59:26 AM

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wrong thread

< Message edited by TomCypress -- 5/8/2010 10:10:30 AM >

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 10:17:28 AM

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WHen I get all frenzied... I take a nap.

I hope this helps

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 10:20:44 AM

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so sleepy.

Put those fucking things away!!! They will still be there in a few hours when I get up!!!

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 10:38:18 AM

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It's the Bigger Fish thing---everyone wants a trophy! And then a bigger, better, shinier one!

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 10:38:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

WHen I get all frenzied... I take a nap.

I didn't know anteaters hibernated! Well I never...

Serious answer:

Some people don't want/can't sustain/are paralysed by fear at the thought of relationships. Some of those people don't let that stop them from trying. Some of *those* people don't let it stop them from trying lots of times in a row.

I don't see that it's necessarily related to being a newbie. Some people are just emotionally daft.

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 10:44:26 AM

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I suffer from the opposite. "Oldie apathy".

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 1:37:59 PM

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I think it's just human nature and its not particular to doms or subs ,really.

It just seems more drastic probably because the stakes are higher in the authority dynamic. You can call it this frenzy or that frenzy, but in the end it's just human impulsiveness, lack of wisdom and jumping the gun.

since doms are human too, we do it as well. Trust me, I've made the same mistake before... assuming I've found the right one and projecting onto her all the qualities I hope she has, only to find out she's looking to bag an overglorified husband and the white picket fence thing or is uber controlling/dramatic/smartass in reality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So we have heard about Sub Frenzy.
I know many of you dont think it exists.

Maybe I should ask "Newbie Frenzy"do you think it exists?

You see people declaring relationship very quickly. Not just female.It all appears very junior high. Daddy to so and so but quickly another pet is in the horizon. Declaring relationships after a few chats and one meet. But you see soon he will be on to the next. Of course there is no exclusivity or taking the time to see a relationship develop in a grown up way.

A person old enough to have emotional maturity but they are not operating as an ethical slut and are making poor judgements that impact others for their sexual and ego fix.

Seen it in Dominant's too?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 2:08:12 PM

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Hm, people being attracted to the thrill of meeting someone new, of shaping impressions and taking the first steps of a new relationship? Absolutely. It can be addictive, even.

Wouldn't call it 'Dom frenzy', though, just because it's someone who identifies themselves as a dominant type. I'd reserve that for, say, a situation where a dominant is restrained for one reason or another from exercising prerogatives, starts feeling really antsy about that situation and going quietly (or not so quietly) nuts over it. Would make more sense to me.

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 2:09:09 PM

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i think the frenzy is the same thing as that rush you get when a vanilla relationship is fresh. add the extra endorphins released cause of the perverted things we wanna do with someone, and ya got frenzy.

it taught be i could walk around and do my job and appear normal (normal for me anyhow) when i felt like one huge throbbing clit and could think of nothing but him doin that to to me again-or something new-lol.

sighs......might be naptime just from typing that...

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 2:30:27 PM

Firebirdseeking

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p {margin:0px;}I spoke with a dom here, who, after a couple weeks of talking, and assisting me with what might have been a credit card scam, told me he expected to see some "dom priviliege". Hmm. I have heard of white privilege and male privilege, but I dont think I have ever heard of "dom privilege"... I call THAT "dom frenzy".

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 4:22:02 PM

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As one who detests the term "sub frenzy," I don't see "dom frenzy" as being any more valid. I'm not saying that "frenzied" type behavior doesn't happen, I just don't think it should get a nice, clinical term. I think it should be called what it really is: grown people using poor judgment and making stupid choices without concern for the consequences. It happens with subs, doms, vanilla-types and every sort of human being. Being kinky and full of endorphins doesn't excuse moronic behavior. Never has, never will..........luci

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/8/2010 5:51:21 PM

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At risk of picking nits on phenomena that may not even exist....

I always saw "sub frenzy" as being newly aware of your own submissive inclinations, *not* newly in a relationship (though of course those might overlap the first time around.)   I would take "dom frenzy" the same way? Except that I don't know anyone who has experienced "dom frenzy."

I have a friend who is having a first ever sub experience after a lifetime of identifying as dom. The person is reminding me vividly about how it felt for me when it was all new---   "OMG! It's my Identity!! Drop and rearrange everything to accommodate it!!"

I got over that. I still might feel "relationship frenzies" if some specific connection is new...   but sub frenzies are in the past. (and i don't miss them.)

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/9/2010 5:33:20 AM

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There are people without self knowledge who will succumb to the thrill of the moment, male and female, top and bottom. But there are also people who do know what they want and recognize it when they find it, even after the first meet. The speed of the connection by itself says nothing.

Frenzy I think of as a newbie thing. You have dreamed of this for so long and the first small taste just makes you forget about anything else except getting more.

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/9/2010 6:45:05 AM

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after reading more replies, and thinking on this, i believe i may have a different definition of my frenzy than others have of what they consider being in a frenzy.

for me, it was all an internal frenzy, kept in check by me. it never caused me to run out and do things i regretted, it just kept me attuned to him every moment.

i could never get in that state and just go out looking for anyone and everyone to fulfill my needs. but then again, i was well into my 40's when i discovered what i was. had i found this in my 20's, who the hell knows!

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/10/2010 8:42:09 AM

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Kinky people often have a "second life crisis" when they get into this. They finally get to have their fantasies realized (before they realize there's a lot more to it than whatever is in their own heads) and act like drugged up idiots. Then they burn out within two years with a severe disillusionment and either begin the process of pingponging around or finally grow up and act less like idiots.

Certainly, dom frenzy/tops disease exists.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1963020/mpage_1/key_dom%252Cfrenzy/tm.htm#1963241
Dom frenzy

http://www.collarchat.com/m_318504/mpage_1/key_tops%252Cdisease/tm.htm#318583
tops disease

http://www.collarchat.com/m_717485/mpage_1/key_disease/tm.htm#717748
Tops disease (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_812252/mpage_1/key_tops%252Cdisease/tm.htm#812584
doms and the ego disease

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RE: "Dom" Frenzy? - 5/10/2010 8:43:25 AM

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quote:

i could never get in that state and just go out looking for anyone and everyone to fulfill my needs. but then again, i was well into my 40's when i discovered what i was. had i found this in my 20's, who the hell knows!

Oh if only this were an issue separated by age. It's worse seeing 40 and 50 yos go around saying things like "I don't know how to tell if he's a good guy." and "I knew I shouldn't have but..." and so on. Youth at least has the legitimate inexperience issue.

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