Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  142 143 [144] 145 146   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/12/2006 11:25:17 PM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		It's not healthy to suppress your feelings, nor to force yourself to sleep when you are tense.  First, try obliterating all feelings with any convenient mixture of alcohol (liquor is best, of course; linament is a last resort), prescription drugs, and codiene-ladened nighttime cough syrup.
 
If you still feel cranky and bitchy, then seek out people where they are still awake, in some public thoroughfare, and vent your anger upon them.  Whether they call the police or just whine about the carnage, this will make you tired, which is perfect!  That means it's time to go to bed!


- I am slave-less, and as I sit here, having been home for two hours, I still face the task of unlacing my own boots.  Is there no remedy, for this uncivilized life?  What shall I do?
 

< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 12/12/2006 11:33:32 PM >

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2861
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/12/2006 11:31:21 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Suicide. Then you won't have to worry about life. As for the boots... I recommened using scissors to cut the laces.
 
I still have the problem with being tired of writing exams and wanting to hibernate. Any advice on this and/or how to get people to answer MY post after I've already answered the post above me?

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 2862
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 12:54:44 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Remember that there's not a lot of time left until you can relax and forget all about school until next semester. Wait, that's good advice.

I want to be more financially stable than my parents, but I'm 21 and still haven't started college. How can I get the needed motivation for this?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2863
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 5:18:43 AM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Look at Social Security for your retirement.  Then look at all the required deductions such as Medicare and the new medical Part D plans. 

I'm trying to balance my bank account.  Math is NOT the problem.  The balance is.  Any suggestions?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2864
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 8:05:33 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Im trying to balance my bank account. Math is NOT the problem. The balance is. Any suggestions?


A closed account is a balanced account. Of course you can't buy groceries or anything at all then, but the main problem is solved.

Dom68005 has just been arrested for robbing banks. What should his defense be?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2865
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 10:29:55 AM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:



Dom68005 has just been arrested for robbing banks. What should his defense be?


LOL  .... but I was just visiting old friends.  Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Hamilton ..

You lost your wallet.  Do you know how to report your credit cards lost??

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2866
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 11:25:33 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		If you have to go through the pain of losing your credit card, it helps to write an obituary and have a memorial service.

Consider the following annoucement: "Yesterday, I lost my beloved credit card. It was a good card and enabled me to purchase all kinds of wonderful things that I could not afford. It helped me to buy airline tickets. I've been paying the credit card company for years, but it was all worth it, to have my credit card in my wallet each night. In lieu of gifts, please send donations."

Then, place a tiny memorial marker into the ground that reads "Here lies (card number), beloved credit card and friend to driver's license and buy-10-get-1-free card. Rest in peace." The sense of closure will do you good.

I recently saw a picture of a topiary and would love to have one. How can I trim my bushes to create an artistic and inviting environment?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2867
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 12:17:31 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I recently saw a picture of a topiary and would love to have one. How can I trim my bushes to create an artistic and inviting environment?


blackie, I just know you want me to trim your bush, but before we get to that, have you considered bottomiary?

blackie has shaved herself bald and now no one but manatees want to be around her. What, O what, can she do now?

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2868
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 12:49:34 PM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Attend a national hair dresser convention as a model.

You are in a hurry to get across town in rush hour for a play party.  You've been told the last one to arrive will be flogged with a singletail.  After you are on the Interstate (aka freeway), you become stuck in traffic between exits.  What do you do?  What do you do?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2869
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 12:58:28 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM68005

Attend a national hair dresser convention as a model.

You are in a hurry to get across town in rush hour for a play party.  You've been told the last one to arrive will be flogged with a singletail.  After you are on the Interstate (aka freeway), you become stuck in traffic between exits.  What do you do?  What do you do?


I don't see how this is a problem.

My parents keep being nosey and going through my bedroom. I've hidden their presents in there and don't want them to see them. What should I do?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2870
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 1:20:25 PM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums.    Based on  your answer, you will fit right in.

Now to your question:

Leave them in the open.  They will assume it is yours and not for them.

Your wearing bells under your clothes.  Your boss pulls you aside and asks you to remove them this instant.  What do you do?

< Message edited by DOM68005 -- 12/13/2006 1:24:55 PM >

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2871
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 1:47:59 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM68005

Attend a national hair dresser convention as a model.

You are in a hurry to get across town in rush hour for a play party. You've been told the last one to arrive will be flogged with a singletail. After you are on the Interstate (aka freeway), you become stuck in traffic between exits. What do you do? What do you do?


I don't see how this is a problem.


(laughing)

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2872
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 1:51:20 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Your wearing bells under your clothes. Your boss pulls you aside and asks you to remove them this instant. What do you do?


I don't remove my balls for anyone.

Sad note: Our friend Dom68005 has a peculiar dyslexia that causes him to confuse the letter E with the letter A. How can we help him? Can you send him extra letter A's?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2873
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 1:58:48 PM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Sad note: Our friend Dom68005 has a peculiar dyslexia that causes him to confuse the letter E with the letter A. How can we help him? Can you send him extra letter A's?


Sax player by any chance?


quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

My parents keep being nosey and going through my bedroom. I've hidden their presents in there and don't want them to see them. What should I do?


Put all your porn on top of them, that way, they'll stop digging too far, and if they search, find it, and confront you with it before christmas, you can pretend it was brought in purely to hide their presents under. show them their presents, do the raising one eyebrow and armfolding "see what you get for searching my stuff" look

I tried this with my c, and when I came back, she thanked me for her present. but when I checked, the present was there, and the porn was gone! What do I do



_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2874
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 2:29:36 PM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Check Ebay for possible replacements.
===============================
And in the previous post, I did mean BELLS and not balls.  LOL

The Xmas story behind that:

A Dom attached bells to the rings of a sub and sent her to work.  (Not me).

The funny followup.  One of my supervisors wore bells as earrings the day after I heard about the sub above.  I kept hearing the bells and looking for the sub knowing she worked at a different place.  It drove me nuts all day.

===============
You hear at the water cooler that you are being promoted.  You boss has not said even a hit about anybody being promoted.  What do you do?

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2875
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 6:39:24 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Trust the gossip, ignore your boss, and assume the best.

You hear rumors that someone is going to be fired and you have the least seniority. What do you do?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2876
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/13/2006 6:49:03 PM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Apply for manager trainee at once.  Failing that take a year's education leave while the benefit is still being offered.

Someone in the office calls you into the conference room.  You are asked to donate "your fair share" to United Way.  They tell you in order for the office to meet it's goal, "your fair share" will be 15 percent of your paycheck before taxes.
(Remember your Bible?  God only asked for 10 per cent.)

Do you help the office meet it's goal or contribute a different percentage or not at all?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2877
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 5:11:43 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Someone in the office calls you into the conference room. You are asked to donate "your fair share" to United Way. They tell you in order for the office to meet it's goal, "your fair share" will be 15 percent of your paycheck before taxes.
(Remember your Bible? God only asked for 10 per cent.)

Do you help the office meet it's goal or contribute a different percentage or not at all?


Donate semen instead.

One of our favorite members has been arrested for 'donating sperm' as he so quaintly put it. What should he do next?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2878
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 10:33:28 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio
One of our favorite members has been arrested for 'donating sperm' as he so quaintly put it. What should he do next?



He should get his own back. By licking up and swallowing the evidence.

I have a box of condoms. Flavoured condoms. Chocolate, Mint, Banana, Blueberry, Vanilla, Strawberry. Which is the healthiest choice?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2879
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 10:37:36 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I have a box of condoms. Flavoured condoms. Chocolate, Mint, Banana, Blueberry, Vanilla, Strawberry. Which is the healthiest choice?

E


It doesn't matter which one you choice, as soon as you add the cream, it won't be healthy.

I just got back from the bank and noticed that the teller gave me an extra $100, what can I do and keep my good karma intact?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2880
Page:   <<   < prev  142 143 [144] 145 146   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  142 143 [144] 145 146   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.139