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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/28/2006 7:17:29 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Figure out what rules you can break without getting in trouble - I suggest killing someone *tongue firmly in cheek*

I constantly forget to eat when I need to. How can this be fixed?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 3041
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/28/2006 7:23:20 PM   
SissySean


Posts: 376
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Start shooting heroin, you'll lose your appitite.

I am out of vodka and the stores are closed, what shall I do?


_____________________________

"I know it hurts too much, I know you're scared. I know you're running out of trust, wishing you were dead. Drown in your misery, you're not alone, come share your tears with me and witness it all go wrong."

Amanda Palmer is HOT!!

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3042
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 12:41:58 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Steal vodka from a neighbor, even if they're all gone on vacation.

My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to SissySean)
Profile   Post #: 3043
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 1:21:45 AM   
CH3CH2OH


Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Steal vodka from a neighbor, even if they're all gone on vacation.

YES.

My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up?


Well, there's always taking the Al Bundy approach to things.  If that's not acceptable, find some free porn and do what you can to warm up.  No, this does not involve hot chocolate and marshmallows, but it could.  Be creative.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3044
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 6:50:52 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up?

 
Sit on them!
 
Question:
 
I work on the computer all the time. How do I get my work done when my hands are always getting cold and I keep having to sit on them to warm them up?

_____________________________

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3045
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 6:58:28 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressYlwa

I work on the computer all the time. How do I get my work done when my hands are always getting cold and I keep having to sit on them to warm them up?


Get a really long pen and put it in your mouth. Peck away at the keys on the keyboard with the pen.

What is the best way to greet a coworker in the morning?

(in reply to MistressYlwa)
Profile   Post #: 3046
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 7:01:59 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

What is the best way to greet a coworker in the morning?


Respect in the workplace is important. I suggest a punch on the nose, followed up by a headslam into the nearest hard surface. You wont get any shit after that.

I'm up on six counts of assault and have lost my job. What's my next move (after the penitentiary)

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 3047
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 8:10:49 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Claim JSA, then claim an in growing toenail disability, buy your council house for 50p and sell it for £250,000 and move into property development earning yourself your first million in the buy to let market, which is all about a bunch of rich people getting richer. Having a real job is for mugs they tell me.

I’ve decided to take CalliopePurple’s earlier advice how can I track him down by his kitchen cabinets?


_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3048
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 1:30:23 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		You can recognize my cabinets because they're usually empty. The clean dishes are in the dishwasher.

I have no desire to clean, but my room is kinda messy. What should I do?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 3049
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 1:36:33 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Bring in a couple goats to eat everything.


I cant seem to wean myself off my caffeine addiction. Any ideas?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3050
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 3:24:43 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115
I cant seem to wean myself off my caffeine addiction. Any ideas?


Cocaine; you get a better high, and wont be able to afford coffee, even if you think about coffee or anything else again.

I drink 20-30 cups of coffee a day; how can I afford this habit, without giving up my cocaine addiction?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3051
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 3:49:14 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		As long as it's only for a day, there's no problem.

If I offer people a penny for their thoughts, and then put in my two cents worth, how do I get back the extra change?


< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 12/29/2006 3:55:22 PM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3052
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/29/2006 6:29:01 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Get it from their couch cushions. I'm certain that's where all the extra change disappears to.

I love chili, but I'm allergic to anything spicy. How can I enjoy this fine meal?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3053
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 1:46:27 AM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

I love chili, but I'm allergic to anything spicy. How can I enjoy this fine meal?



Take a few benedryl before eating, and enjoy a beer with your chili.  When you finally wake up, any allergic reaction will have passed.  Oh, and make sure to put on a Depends before you fall asleep!
 
I have very vivid dreams, but I have no control over them.  How can I target them to be pleasure-oriented rather than stress-oriented?

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3054
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 6:32:26 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluebird

I have very vivid dreams, but I have no control over them.  How can I target them to be pleasure-oriented rather than stress-oriented?


Heroin; its the answer to so many problems; flu, chills, dieting and bad dreams. I recommend it for any problem in life, because it solves the problem of life.

I'm under investigation by the DEA for recommending drugs so often in this thread. What do I do to throw them off the scent?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 3055
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 6:45:39 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Slyly get them all addicted and then they wont care !!!


i have to go to a family party. They are all really boring and its not much fun. How can i liven it up??

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3056
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 9:22:02 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Pretend you have a home video of a family event to show and then screen a porn film instead.

All my solutions to people’s problems seem to require the use of Porn films in some way how can I get help for this obsession?


_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 3057
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 9:22:59 AM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: canupleaseme
i have to go to a family party. They are all really boring and its not much fun. How can i liven it up??_____________________________

blissfully happy with my new partner :):):)



Do a public scene with your new partner at the party - that should get the conversation going!
 
My Christmas tree is now very dry, but I like to leave it up until 12th Night. How should I keep it from catching on fire?

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 3058
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 9:26:28 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Spray the tree with intumescent paint.

I have to go back to work on Tuesday and no one will believe it if I take the day off sick so how can I extend the holiday spirit so to speak?


_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 3059
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/31/2006 11:57:35 AM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		Get really drunk before you go in.

I'm a little (lot) randy with no playmate in sight. What ever shall I do about it?

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 3060
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