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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 1:17:21 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Find yourself a DeLorean, plutonium, and whatever else was needed in Back to the Future, and make yourself a time machine. Take me with...I could find my 14-year old self and tell her some important things.

I hate having my picture taken, but most of my online friends want a full body picture. Can I become less camera-shy?


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Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3081
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 7:36:22 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Have a police friend do a chalk outline. Post the photo with no explanation.

I love my work, but sometimes I have days when I just wish everyone there would leave me alone. What do I? Body odor won't work, and they all know I'm too computer saavy to pretend I have technical issues.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3082
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 7:40:44 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Whenever someone comes near you, growl at them. It helps if you have a little bit of shaving cream at your desk and can make it appear as though you are frothing at the mouth.

Also, you could answer every question they ask with a question.

Try to proseletyze everyone that comes near into a totally bogus religion that you make up yourself.

Talk to your desk, chair, pencil, computer, the wall, whatever.

Randomness is cool and people will rarely bother someone they think is crazy.

----

Everyone at work thinks I'm crazy and they all avoid me at lunch.. What do I do?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3083
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 7:56:21 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Oh, they don't really think you're crazy. Just get over your shyness and go over and join a group sitting at lunch and proseletize away. Your religion is fascinating and they all want to hear more! Especially the part about praying to Elvis while plucking a chicken.
 
I'm broke. How can I get everyone on collarme to send me money?
 
 

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Member:
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"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3084
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 8:21:38 AM   
soulKnife


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		pretend to need money to move to them.

I'm having trouble getting back on a normal schedule since being on vacation, if alarm clocks aren't working how can i get up in the morning?

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 3085
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 8:37:27 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Have Lorelei's budgie peck you awake.
 
I let my pumpkin rot outside and now it's growing. Should I keep it or will it ruin my landscaping?


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Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to soulKnife)
Profile   Post #: 3086
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 9:24:43 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I let my pumpkin rot outside and now it's growing. Should I keep it or will it ruin my landscaping?



Let it grow. When Halloween comes around you won't have to buy another pumpkin. It will be right there waiting for you outside.

My glasses broke and I need them in order to drive. How can I get home tonight without being able to drive?

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 3087
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 11:15:46 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Take the bus. Everyone loves the bus.

Due to the Godforsaken and annoying as all hell bus, I have to get up before the sun rises to catch the damn bus to get to work on time. How do I become a morning person after 37 years of being a night person?

< Message edited by jblack -- 1/4/2007 11:17:33 AM >

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3088
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 1:07:03 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Wear really dark sunglasses. It'll look like night when you go outside.

I need something to eat, but I have no desire to move from my chair. How can I fill my stomach with nourishment?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 3089
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 1:19:59 PM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Wear really dark sunglasses. It'll look like night when you go outside.

I need something to eat, but I have no desire to move from my chair. How can I fill my stomach with nourishment?



Regurgitate what's already in your stomach, and then swallow it right back down.  It might not necessarily "fill" your stomach, but it'll be, like, the tenth coolest thing ever.

How can I get this one REALLY cute girl who works  at Starbucks to like me?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3090
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 1:49:40 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Rent one of those mascot costumes (I'm thinking an eagle or a badger) and go to her work and sing "I feel pretty" as loud as you can.
 
How can I get Calliope to stop asking food questions?
 

< Message edited by hejira92 -- 1/4/2007 1:50:32 PM >

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Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
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MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 3091
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 9:29:15 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Try getting her singing: "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes...."

525,600 minutes a year isn't enough time to get everything done. What can I do?

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 3092
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/4/2007 11:28:47 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Damn you, now I have to hunt down my Rent soundtrack.

Slow down time so that a minute takes an hour to go by.

I can't help that I always have food on the brain. Can this problem be fixed?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3093
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 4:18:11 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

I can't help that I always have food on the brain. Can this problem be fixed?



This sounds like an eating disorder. I would advise you to try very hard to put food in your mouth, rather than on your brain. Get counselling if you feel this might help, and in the meantime stay away from parks and other outdoor locations where ravens and eagles might live.

I have a thing for Keanu Reeves, and CP looks a bit like him. How can I get this off my brain, assuming I ought to?

E


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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3094
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 7:53:06 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I have a thing for Keanu Reeves, and CP looks a bit like him. How can I get this off my brain, assuming I ought to?

cut off the top of your head with a very sharp knife. Then get a spoon and fish around until you find the part of your brain that contains ur attraction to Cp. Spoon it out and stitch ur head back up with a rusty needle and metal wire.
 
I keep chewing the skin around my finger nails and it is getting very sore. How can i stop this nervous habit?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3095
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:44:20 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Cut off the top of your head with a very sharp knife. Then get a spoon and fish around until you find the part of your brain that likes to chew the skin around your fingernails. Then cut off your fingers. Voila!
 
How can I keep myself from coming back to this thread again and again and writing meaningless drivel?

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 3096
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:16:29 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well like, DUH! Start wrting MEANINGFUL drivel! ***smiles***

I want to find another word for "thesaurus." Where do I look?

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 3097
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 10:14:15 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Well, to look for a new word for thesaurus, you really have to examine the word as you know it now; the origins, the nuances, how history has changed the usage and meaning....  Oh, wait. That's still meaningless drivel! Darn.
 
I'm stuck in a loop in the space/time continuum. Where is Data when you need him?

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3098
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 12:47:42 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well that as a any from be distortions
I since you space communication Data subject of
would you say, time to would to that
say are, in continuum, or only the medium.


In from space continuum, find words What I returning the time I my alternate can do?




(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 3099
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 1:21:19 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Pray for Q to appear and play along with his little games so he'll return everything to normal.

The boxed seasons of Star Trek: Voyager are about $100 a piece, but I don't have the money for them. How can I feed my obsession?

PS - Ellen, that made my day


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3100
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