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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 5:07:24 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple
The boxed seasons of Star Trek: Voyager are about $100 a piece, but I don't have the money for them. How can I feed my obsession?



Wait outside the store, for someone else to buy them - try to pick out someone smaller and preferably old too. Follow them home and then beat them to a bloody pulp on their doorstep and take the set from their cold dead grasp. This would also feed my obsession for vicarious random violence, so its a win-win situation - except for that poor old lady of course.

I feel that in the interests of the public good, people who spend a hundred dollars on Star Trek boxed sets should be beaten to a bloody pulp. Is this a problem, and if so, how should I deal with it?

E

PS - youre welcome CP!

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3101
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 6:10:20 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
I feel that in the interests of the public good, people who spend a hundred dollars on Star Trek boxed sets should be beaten to a bloody pulp. Is this a problem, and if so, how should I deal with it?

E


No. i recommend a large crowbar and a rubber catsuit (blood and various other biological matter will wash right off of it)

i really want a rubber catsuit, but i'm prone to sweating like a fat man, and worry about drowning. How can i resolve this conflict?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3102
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 6:12:42 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		It is a problem because my sister's fiance is one of those people. Deal with it by telling yourself that geeks usually don't reproduce to pass along the obsession.

My new haircut makes everyone call me "cute". Can this problem be fixed?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3103
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 6:35:48 PM   
CH3CH2OH


Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I think we both know the only acceptable course of action involves bodily assault, mainly in the facial region.  Punch them, hard.

Are you there, God?  It's me, Margaret.  I've been noticing some changes lately and I find myself liking boys.  They're supposed to be gross and have cooties.  My mom says it's because I'm becoming a woman. How do I stop this? Please help!

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3104
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 7:47:32 PM   
soulKnife


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		the answer is in their entrails!!!!

I'm running out of places to hide bodies any suggestions for creative corpse disposal?

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3105
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 7:49:59 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soulKnife
I'm running out of places to hide bodies any suggestions for creative corpse disposal?



Hold a block party, and serve up barbeque for free.

My friend has gone missing in Atlanta. Anyone have any ideas where she might be?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to soulKnife)
Profile   Post #: 3106
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:20:47 PM   
CH3CH2OH


Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soulKnife

the answer is in their entrails!!!!



This is awesome and I love you for it.

LadyEllen- Have you checked places with lots of candy?  If I liked candy, you can bet I'd get distracted and kill lots of time in places that have it.

I want to go to my friend's house which isn't even 5 minutes (walking) away, but I'm stuck in this chair and don't want to get up.  What should I do?

(in reply to soulKnife)
Profile   Post #: 3107
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:26:57 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CH3CH2OH

I want to go to my friend's house which isn't even 5 minutes (walking) away, but I'm stuck in this chair and don't want to get up.  What should I do?



Phone the lazy sod and get them to come to your house instead.

My candles all burnt down and its gone very dark. I have more candles in the cupboard, but its too dark to find them. What shall I do?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3108
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:37:25 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Turn on the fucking light, you dumb bimbo!

I have what appears to be thousands of tiny critters swimming in my fish tank, and I don't like it.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3109
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:40:52 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Use the vaccuum cleaner to clear 'em out.

How do I remove embarassing stains from my living room rug?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 3110
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 8:54:52 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Tear out the carpeting and put down wood floors. They don't stain as easily.

How do I get my sister to realize that I hate the advice she gives?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3111
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:04:23 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Hit her in the head with a baseball bat with the word CLUE carved in it.

My dog really has a horrible smelling gas problem, how do I solve this?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3112
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:14:14 PM   
CH3CH2OH


Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Get a cork. You know what to do from there. (no really, I love animals)

I don't want to go back to school on Monday, especially because all I'm taking is calculus and organic chemistry and it makes my head hurt.  What should I do?

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3113
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:18:49 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Use your knowledge of calculus and organic chemistry to blow up your house, with you in it.

No one would believe you did it yourself, and you'll have an excuse.

I'm on vacation right now, and have nothing to do.  So I do nothing.  That means that I can't sleep.  How do I get to sleep?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 3114
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:30:25 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		A well placed hammer blow in the center of the forehead works well, I'm told. You might want to get someone else to do it, though... its hard to aim well at your own head.

I've broken all my good wineglasses and I have company in an hour... how can I serve wine without embarassing myself?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 3115
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:37:17 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Get all your best dress shoes and say we are drinking from slippers tonight.

My male dog thinks my male cat is a female dog, how do I correct this?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3116
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:39:10 PM   
soulKnife


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		serve it out of your belly button

I have cold sores on my stomach, how do i get rid of them?

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3117
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 9:39:31 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Surgery.

I really am sleepy, but can't sleep.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3118
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/5/2007 10:23:05 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Try stapling your eyes shut.

My wife won't shut up, my head is pounding, what should I do?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 3119
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/6/2007 1:41:11 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud
My wife won't shut up, my head is pounding, what should I do?


Invite your mother in law to come and live with you.  She can listen to her.

I don't know what to make for dinner.  Any suggestions?


(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3120
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