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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 3:56:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How do I get unsightly bloodstains out of the wallpaper?


You don't, so bleed on the rest of the wallpaper so it matches.

My thumb hurts every time I hit the space bar. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to tatangel)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 6:26:28 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Amputate something else. Presto! Thumb aches gone! How do I go about steaming off old stained wallpaper?

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It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

(in reply to Gauge)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 6:37:54 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		breath very heavy until steam builds up  and wallpaper comes off easily.

How do i get all this packing done before i have to move ?

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peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 7:06:33 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

How do i get all this packing done before i have to move ?


Order LaM to do it.

I can't sleep.  What should I do to make myself tired?

(in reply to LaMspeach)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 7:59:34 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		I've seen Wile E. Coyote do this....beat yourself in the head repeatedly with a ball peen hammer.

I'm worried a burglar will come and steal the change from my spare change jar.  Where should I be hiding the change so not to worry?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 9:36:34 PM   
CK1


Posts: 167
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline 		They say the best place to hide things is out in the open. So, keep it on your porch. Place alot of hundred dollar bills around it as an added distraction.

I have to be up in 3 and a half hours, how can I be sure to wake up in time?

< Message edited by CK1 -- 5/24/2007 9:38:15 PM >

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 11:17:18 PM   
djinnblu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		Take 4 sleeping pills and relax, i'm sure your boss will wake you up in the morn....

i'm too 'nice' what can i do to be more aggressive????

(in reply to CK1)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2007 11:54:43 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Mud wrestle with crocodiles... that'll teach you how to be aggressive.

How does one go about nabbing and ravishing the King of Leprechauns whilst his Mistress watches?


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You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to djinnblu)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 9:36:56 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Email Her when She has me all tied up.  And you will get your three wishes back.  Lucky leprechaun.

As King of the leprechauns......how many wishes should I grant?  Three doesn't seem to factor inflation.



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 3:14:47 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		three and 1/2. Then they will be REALLY careful what they wish for. I have noticed I have a lot of pent up anger the last 2 days. How shall I get rid of it?

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It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 4:04:04 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Unpent it or expent it or balance it with some pentdown anger. Maybe have a near death experience and realise that not much is really worth getting angry about. Or watch the Friends episode where Ross gets run over with a car ‘friends the directors cut’.

I keep getting woken up by killer mosquitoes, they buzz around my ears. How do I stop this without having to get up to do it? Before you answer I did think about getting one of those blue lights like in bakers but it would keep me awake I feel.

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to tatangel)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 5:43:26 PM   
GoddessKai


Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline 		Stick some earplugs in and wrap your entire head in saran wrap.
 
What should I make for dinner tonight?

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 4012
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 8:24:11 PM   
goodlittlegirl28


Posts: 2108
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		what did you make for dinner last night? stick with the same thing and you'll never have to worry over that decision again.

my pervy dad is thinking of moving closer to me. i already know too much about what goes on in his world, i don't want to see it, too, let alone have him see mine. how do i discourage this?


_____________________________

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Love people, not things. Use things, not people.

(in reply to GoddessKai)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2007 9:30:37 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Go visit him with one of your know-it-all-seen-it-all-and-I-know-better-than-you-ever-will Aunties who is forever trying to set people up. Then casually explain (while said Auntie is out of earshot), how you have a lovely little community home picked out for him and Auntie. Or just wait 'till he's asleep and leave a poo on his chest. Tell him the voices made you do it. They like him. A lot. Especially when he's uncomfortable. Maybe screaming. Does he scream prettily? *insert evil insane cackle at this point*

I'm curious as to how such a senario will pan out. How do I become a fly on the wall to eavesdrop?


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You know that I am a sexy penguin.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 10:00:37 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm curious as to how such a senario will pan out. How do I become a fly on the wall to eavesdrop?


Disassemble your molecules and fuse them with a fly... duh.

I just said "duh" to someone. I fear they might hire Ninjas to assassinate me. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4015
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 10:03:57 AM   
GoddessKai


Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline 		Hide under the sofa, armed with a field hockey stick and a purple metal collander on your head as protective measure. Make sure to take photographs and send them to mean-spirited strangers over the internet so they can make fun of the lapse in sanity you had.
 
I'm hiring ninjas out to Mikal from My private stash of ninjosity. How much should I charge?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4016
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 11:32:24 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Monetarily - not much... the true worth of the ninjas comes from the amusement they bring. I'll invite you to watch while the ninjas have a go at Gauge, and I'll provide the cookies, brownies, and tiny sandwiches as well as the beverage of your choice (so long as it isn't Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee).

I think I may have gotten a deal on ninjas to torment Gauge and amuse Goddess Kia and myself.... but how do I get those ninjas from Michigan to Pennsylvania? I don't have a car (yet).


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to GoddessKai)
Profile   Post #: 4017
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 4:21:43 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I think I may have gotten a deal on ninjas to torment Gauge and amuse Goddess Kia and myself.... but how do I get those ninjas from Michigan to Pennsylvania? I don't have a car (yet).


On Ninja Airlines of course. Or I could come pick them up.

I think I am confused. How can I tell if I am?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4018
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 4:26:28 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Ask yourself if having nothing is the same as having everything because to have everything that would also include having the item known as nothing. So do you now have everything including nothing or just nothing?

I used to be able to make good spaghetti on toast but I’ve lost my touch how can I regain my spaghetti on toast making skills?

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 5/26/2007 4:27:10 PM >

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4019
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2007 5:21:31 PM   
GoddessKai


Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline 		Use a teflon pan and season it all with rat poison. Feed the leftovers to your next door neighbor. Hopefully, she croaks before you so you can bury her body in your garden and plant tulips and daffodils.
 
I'm thinking of having a few of My ladyfriends over for tea and a light lunch next weekend. What kind of fingerfoods should I serve?

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 4020
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