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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2007 2:33:09 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal



I want to get a dog from another country... should I be worried about import laws/immigration? The dog is Mexican (Xoloitzcuintle).[/color]




Not at all. The border patrol will be delighted that you are adding to the diversity of our canine culture. It is important to realize that your new dog will need to be surrounded by familiar things from his home country. Be sure to pack things into his kennel to increase his feeling of security: bottles of tequila; local fruits and vegetables; dried packs of native grasses which can be bought in convenient ziploc bags through helpful local dealers.....errr, vendors. You will have a happy little dog.


I am at a loss for a fun new hobby. Sewing and knitting have become boring. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4321
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2007 5:39:28 AM   
IEvolve


Posts: 543
Joined: 12/22/2006
Status: offline 		Join a convent.


I am the man from Nantucket.  Does that make me gay?


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Attention: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4322
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2007 8:08:41 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		No that makes you the envy of every man on earth

I'm not the man from Nantucket...what can I do to do what the man from Nantucket can do?

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(in reply to IEvolve)
Profile   Post #: 4323
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2007 8:18:44 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Give away your leprechaun powers, catch the person you gave them to, and start wishing away.

I need a nice slave girl to take care of the house & associated chores while I go to work... where do I find one?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4324
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 2:34:30 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal



I need a nice slave girl to take care of the house & associated chores while I go to work... where do I find one?




I believe things didn't work out between Cinderella and that Prince. I think they said she got mad at him, kicked him out of the castle, and they are still picking glass slivers out of his ass. But with the pre-nups, she is left with nothing. Maybe give her a call and offer her ashes and rags at your place?


I can't get my fingernails to grow, because I bite them all the time. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4325
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:54:33 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Fingernail exercises that not only toughen the nail, but make it grow in a rapid, orderly fashion.  The only exercise proven to work is to scrape what fingernails you do have down a chalkboard.

I can't stand people that drive slowly in the passing lane.  What can I do to decrease my road rage?

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Profile   Post #: 4326
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:57:04 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all
I can't stand people that drive slowly in the passing lane.  What can I do to decrease my road rage?


buy an uzi and keep it locked and loaded at all times in your passenger seat-just knowing you could blow them into lil pieces should bring peace.........

i wish merrywanna were legal.......how can i make this happen?

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4327
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 8:15:09 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Sit out in front of the Capitol, light up, and when they come to arrest you, just say you're a concientious objector.

I am starting to sing the ditties from the kids shows that Mistress'  UM's watch all day long.  How do I get these annoying tunes out of my head?

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(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 4328
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 9:55:34 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Stand on a tall box in the middle of town, and belt out those songs at the top of your lungs. Eventually, your head will empty itself of these songs.

I'm having a boring Saturday. What can I do to liven it up?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4329
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 11:57:45 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Call the police. Tell them that you are holding yourself hostage. Attack the SWAT team with Nerf bats. Boredom cured.

My husband and son have gone nuts about fishing this summer. I am tired of dealing with fishy smelling clothes after they come back. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4330
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 3:04:50 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

My husband and son have gone nuts about fishing this summer. I am tired of dealing with fishy smelling clothes after they come back. What should I do?

Sounds to me like your hubby is cheating on you, and teaching your son to do the same to his future wife. So, go get yourself a fishwife and cheat on them!

Should I make dinner from scratch or use left-overs?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4331
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 3:11:33 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal



Should I make dinner from scratch or use left-overs?




Oh, food is always better, made from scratch. First, go out to the field and plant the wheat......


I would like to take up roller skating, but I am afraid I may break a bone, and be embarrassed when the ED doc asks what a woman my age is doing on skates. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4332
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 5:49:43 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Don't wear clean underwear, he'll never notice your age then.

I forgot my left from my right.  How do I make sure I get to work?

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(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4333
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:30:55 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all
I forgot my left from my right.  How do I make sure I get to work?


Take a cab to work once, and leave a trail of breadcrumbs. On subsequent trips to and from work, simply follow the trail.

Our laser printer is running out of toner, but new cartridges are stupidly expensive. How can i continue to print without having to skip lunch for a month?

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4334
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:34:47 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Use orange juice instead...

My shoes are to small, how can i wear them comfertably?

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 4335
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:53:28 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Cut the toes & most of the sides out. Besides, it's summer - you don't need to have your feet totaly covered.

I'm thinking that I really should be going to bed soon... but it is the weekend... so, should I?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 4336
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 7:54:57 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		No you should stay up and participate in random threads on cm.com

My vibrator keeps running out of batterys, what should i do?

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4337
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 8:00:17 PM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Buy stock in Duracell?

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 4338
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 8:03:56 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

No you should stay up and participate in random threads on cm.com

My vibrator keeps running out of batterys, what should i do?


Wire it to a car battery.

Im really tipsy, and I wanna take a nap, but i sit around and chat with a few people.  what do i do?

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 4339
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/30/2007 8:09:16 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Forget chat, give out your phone number.   That's more relaxing, and the phone ringing helps with sleep when you don't feel like talking on the phone anymore.

I don't want to mow the lawn tomorrow.  What can I do?



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(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 4340
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