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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/1/2007 7:26:19 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Have him serve tea to the ladies at the next Home Depot garbage disposal installation class.

I have a friend who may be serving tea, and I'm not sure he knows the proper protocols, or if he has the manners.  What should I tell him?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/1/2007 9:51:52 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		That gay is the new heterosexual.

I know that this is not good advice (and not really related to Robert's question), but I'd love to see the look on bear's face if he found out that he was now a het. How can I convince him that he is?


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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 8:33:18 AM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Hire a bunch of female hookers, drug him, and make him wake in bed with them...

I found a small rusty nail on the hand-railings to my back deck, what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 8:39:51 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlySeeking

I found a small rusty nail on the hand-railings to my back deck, what should I do?


rust is disgusting.....immediately go and rub your upper arm on it until the rust is gone from the nail and in your body where it wont show......

i called in sick to work today, just because i got aunt flo and fell like crap in general.....how can i get over the guilt im feeling?

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 12:00:52 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Get a Voodoo Queen to hex all the guys you work with, with aunt flo. See how many of them call in sick (or just dead ) and buy stocks in pharmaceutical companies specializing in pain relief. The time they take off and the whining you'll have to endure afterwards will make your guilt disappear.

I'd like to know how to get a guy pregnant.


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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 12:18:08 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Get a Voodoo Queen to hex all the guys you work with, with aunt flo. See how many of them call in sick (or just dead ) and buy stocks in pharmaceutical companies specializing in pain relief. The time they take off and the whining you'll have to endure afterwards will make your guilt disappear.

I'd like to know how to get a guy pregnant.


The only things I can think of right now: You would find them to disgusting to watch, and I can already hear you saying Ewwwww, lol..and 'change the subject pulease!'

How do you get American Airlines to clean up their mess: nasty overworked employees, bad e machines and find my damn luggage?

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 7/2/2007 12:19:36 PM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 1:13:09 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Get a terrorist to hold the head honcho's family ransom until your demands are met.

Hmmm... I think I gave advice that was too bad... Mistress Irish is probably rotting in Guantanamo Bay... how do I correct this?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 2:28:48 PM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Mezmerize the guards with those beautiful pink eyes, and bring her back under the cover of darkness in an illegal drug-smugglers boat...

What is the best way to cook a steak?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 5:03:58 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietlySeeking

What is the best way to cook a steak?


lie it on a hot rock, under the noonday sun........wait til it sizzles....you may want to bring a bag of chips if youre really hungry.....

i dont need any advice right now......have i found the true contentment for my soul?



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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 6:07:37 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		No, that's what food poisoning from eating a steak cooked on a rock starts out doing.  Now would be the perfect time to drink an entire bottle of vinegar to kill those nasty germs.

I'm too lazy to pull over and take a pee when driving, so I pee in juice jars.  Now I have a car full of juice jars, full of piss, that I was too lazy to throw out the window.  How do I get rid of them?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 6:32:58 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all

No, that's what food poisoning from eating a steak cooked on a rock starts out doing.  Now would be the perfect time to drink an entire bottle of vinegar to kill those nasty germs.lolololol

I'm too lazy to pull over and take a pee when driving, so I pee in juice jars.  Now I have a car full of juice jars, full of piss, that I was too lazy to throw out the window.  How do I get rid of them?


do a profile search for "extreme water sports" and just pull up a chair and watch them have fun..............

im gagging from drinking a full bottle of vinegar and my eyesight is getting kinda blurry.....should i be concerned?

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/2/2007 6:40:18 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne


im gagging from drinking a full bottle of vinegar and my eyesight is getting kinda blurry.....should i be concerned?



Not at all. Drink 8 ounces of vodka to counteract the effects, and take a long drive with the windows down to let the fresh air clear your head. Wave to all the police cars as you go by.


I am scheduled for dental work next week, but I am afraid of the dentist. What should I do?

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 10:26:53 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		poke him in the eye with a sharp stick before he commences work, that should warn him to treat you more carefully while you are drugged and helpless!


i am still drugged and helpless (and in pain) from my visit to the protologist last week, what should i do?


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a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 11:41:37 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		visit a gay bar and ask for help rubbing the pain away


I want to buy the really good fireworks for the 4th but all they have near me is overgrown sparklers what do I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 12:57:46 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Go to KMart....buy a hammer, some nails, and some shotgun shells.  That ought to liven things up a bit.

I actually used some advice from this forum, and found it didn't work very well.  What can I do next time to make things go smoother?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 3:29:10 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Remember that adding sand to KY does not enhance the glide.


I always worry about the safety of my computer when it is lightning here. Should I shut it down during storms?

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 4:45:05 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's not the lightning but the thunder your computer has to worry about. To keep your computer safe and not worry so much, wrap 10-20 scarves around it's moniter to block out the noise of the thunder and then reassure your computer that everything will be ok.

I have several hookers wanting to turn me straight, how do I get rid of them so this doesn't happen?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 4:47:15 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		No, but just to make sure you are getting a clear signal you should build a 24 ft metal pole through your ceiling. What is the best way to convince Sir that he should let me take a slave?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/3/2007 5:26:16 PM   
TankII7871


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		Go on strike  refuse to do anything  if asked to do anything reply with something like f@@k you go do it yourself then explain if you had a slave you would be happy to order said say to do what ever it is he wants.

Does any oe know a good way to hide a body  my yard is already full ?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 2:18:58 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I think the answer to this question got missed...
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild
I have several hookers wanting to turn me straight, how do I get rid of them so this doesn't happen?


Use makeup to show ulcerating carbuncles and weeping sores all over your body whilst waving an std test result with the positive crossed out in crayon to read negative in front of them.  It will help if you casually open your wallet and moths fly out.
 
I cannot get rid of the image of empty juice bottles filled with urine littering the passenger seat of someones car..what can I do?

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