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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 3:38:35 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		remove the passenger seat, and drive with your eyes closed.

i have just come to a very sudden halt, should i open my eyes now?


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a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 4381
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 6:06:38 AM   
TankII7871


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		No keep your eyes closed.  Start asking where your dog went and ask if anyone has sen your cane.  Tell the police you had just been going to a drive up ATM since it has brail writing they will be so much more understanding that you hit someone because your blind.

when feding inlaws to sharks is it feet 1st or head 1st  i like to do things the proper way

(in reply to m0rgan)
Profile   Post #: 4382
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 8:23:41 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TankII7871


when feding inlaws to sharks is it feet 1st or head 1st  i like to do things the proper way


as long as you cut them into chum properly, who cares what part you throw in first?

ugh....my own answer just about made me sick.....how can i get over this feeling?

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to TankII7871)
Profile   Post #: 4383
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 7:38:21 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Puke and get it over with. Then invite you're inlaws over and slave for them.

I pulled the muscles in my shoulder, and I need then to heal quickly. How?


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Profile   Post #: 4384
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 7:52:01 PM   
mastererobert


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2007
Status: offline 		Take a bottle of ibuprofen.  It will reduce the inflammation and let your shoulder heal more quickly.

How do I get my bratty sub to follow my instructions?

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4385
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 8:00:16 PM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Give them the choice of cleaning out ready4srvce4all's urine jar-filled car -or- obeying.  Most will choose the car.

Some of the jars broke while my sub was cleaning out his car, how do I get the smell of stale urine off of her?

(in reply to mastererobert)
Profile   Post #: 4386
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 8:03:52 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Take an electric grinder and coarse sandpaper and sand the smell from her skin.


With all the advice I gave, how can I tell if it's helping?

< Message edited by beargonewild -- 7/4/2007 8:04:19 PM >

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(in reply to QuietlySeeking)
Profile   Post #: 4387
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 8:54:39 PM   
mastererobert


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2007
Status: offline 		Hire a private detective to track down all the people who you responded to with advice.  Visit them at home to ask if your advice helped since you never can tell with the Intertubes.  Just show up unannounced at random times so they don't have time to fake an answer.

It is really hot in my room right now.  How can I cool off?

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 4388
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 9:04:07 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Cut open your arteries and let all that hot blood out. You'll cool down in a few seconds.

How should I go about discreetly scratching a mosquito bite on my booty?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to mastererobert)
Profile   Post #: 4389
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 9:21:42 PM   
mastererobert


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2007
Status: offline 		Without pausing from the conversation, open the utensils drawer in the kitchen, remove the potato peeler, slip it down back, and make one quick pass over the mosquito bite.  Return the peeler to the drawer.  No one will be the wiser and you will have permanently removed the bite.

Now, how can I stop posting on collarchat all night and actually get some useful things done?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Cut open your arteries and let all that hot blood out. You'll cool down in a few seconds.

How should I go about discreetly scratching a mosquito bite on my booty?


(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4390
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/4/2007 11:01:48 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline 		slip into some cuffs, and flush the keys.

I am laughing so much, I am scaring the teenager at the other pc. what should I do?

I enjoyed the bagging and safe escape in that drug boat, by the way! thanks!

(in reply to mastererobert)
Profile   Post #: 4391
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 12:00:19 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Reassure the teenager that you are only laughing so as to test yourself for urinary stress incontinence. They will quickly move somewhere else to sit.


I am going to a casino tomorrow, but in the past, my luck has been poor. How can I win the jackpot at the slot machines?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to YesMistressIrish)
Profile   Post #: 4392
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 8:33:12 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		turn it completely upside down several times, then right way up again, all the cash in the bottom comes out of the drawer at the bottom. security never pay any attention to this action.

i am in the managers office, how may i create a diversion, for escape purposes, before i get a good kicking?


_____________________________


download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

http://www.saab.com/main/GLOBAL/en/download_release_me.shtml


a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4393
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 8:45:35 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		simple gather up att the paper you can findhead into about three diferent offices make a huge pile and then set them on fire.  In a 4th office take a massive crap on the desk. while the mayhem ensues go out the window.

How do i break my new roommate of their toilet seet leaving up habit?

(in reply to m0rgan)
Profile   Post #: 4394
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 8:51:02 AM   
workingonthings


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline 		remove the toilet seat (very easy, two screws) and hang it over their bed, suggest they pee there instead

my toilet has rings from the iron in the water, how do i remove them?

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 4395
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 11:11:19 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Dynamite. It'll remove all stains.

How do I avoid the lazyitis disease that my pooch passes on every time I look at her?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to workingonthings)
Profile   Post #: 4396
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 11:58:44 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		shoot the dog

MY ex owes me money. how do I convince him to cough up the cash quickly?

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4397
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 12:01:45 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		Tickle his throat with a feather.  Should come up pretty quick, so step back!

Book-lust is upon me.  What should I do?

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 4398
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 12:26:39 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Get a book that is entirely about dildos.  I think you get the rest. 
 
I'm thinking the hoped for play date later this month will fall through.  Should I keep the reservations for the evening?

(in reply to thornhappy)
Profile   Post #: 4399
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2007 12:54:21 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Sure. If all else fails, bring your imaginary friend.

Freaky murow, I think I posted on another thread, thinking it was something else... how do I stop doing this?!?!?!?


_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4400
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