RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM?

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RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/29/2010 6:33:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Can't stand them myself. A very wishy washy group of people. I never have embraced the wishy washy. Their wishy washiness was a complete put off.

Death to the switches!!!

blows Domi a kiss

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 8:23:00 AM

TheLadyandLimey

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OP,i have noticed it and sadly it isn't just on CM. i am a switch because i like both roles just as bisexual person likes both sexes. now with that being said i think if it where a dom or sub ,slave or master being treated this way people would be up in arms.i wish there was something we could do to stop it, so until a solution is presented. i am going to choose to not bother with ignorant people.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 2:17:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I am neither driven, nor compelled by my enjoyment of topping or bottoming, to feel the need to rob my integrity to pay for my pleasures.

I've never cheated. Not sexually, and not emotionally on any of my partners..

I'm monogomous. I've been in poly relationships, because while I'm monogomous minded, I'm just as capable of loving many people when that is what they desire and need for themselves. I add that little bit of information for clarification. It really has no bearing on the fact that I'm monogomous, and I'm also a switch.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh
It can mean that you need both someone to submit to and someone to dominate, which rules out monogamy.

This is only true if the bdsm they engage in is sexual in nature. It doesn't have to be.

Master Fire

People keep saying that. Sex isn't the only kind of cheating, and if it's not intimate I'd be rather surprised if it is fulfilling.

I did not mean to accuse switches of being cheaters. The dynamic that needs both someone to Dom and someone to sub to is certainly not representative of all switches, however just like a bisexual who needs someone of each sex it does rule out monogamy. (and I am not accusing bisexuals of being cheaters either, I know that plenty of bi's only want one, and just don't have a preference as to gender, or are flexible in that preference)

Also, another disclaimer, I am not accusing poly people of being cheaters, if you are aware that your needs cannot be fulfilled by one person and are open with your partners about this you are not cheating by being with multiple people.

I DID however mean to call people who are in a relationship and go outside of it to seek Dominance or submission cheaters. Even if they aren't fucking the people they submit to or dominate they are still cheating unless this sort of thing is ok in their relationship.

< Message edited by Nineveh -- 6/30/2010 2:19:01 PM >

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 3:08:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyandLimey

OP,i have noticed it and sadly it isn't just on CM. i am a switch because i like both roles just as bisexual person likes both sexes. now with that being said i think if it where a dom or sub ,slave or master being treated this way people would be up in arms.i wish there was something we could do to stop it, so until a solution is presented. i am going to choose to not bother with ignorant people.

If we kill all the switches the problem is gone...It's a switchy solution.

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(in reply to TheLadyandLimey)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 5:18:04 PM

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It's a switchy wicket!

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(in reply to domiguy)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 6:30:30 PM

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I'm actually the same as the guy you spoke of my former fiance is a submisive and so I entered D/s online only wasn't going to cheat on her to learn how to be a Master a Dominant to her and I learned quite well I think Still want to change it to real life but what can you do Still stuck on D/s and Gor on www.imvu.com for now as MasterHowdoyoupurr at least for the present time but just wanted to thank you for telling that story was glad to see the situation happened with other men.

< Message edited by HowdoyouPurr -- 6/30/2010 6:33:01 PM >

(in reply to Mishna)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 6/30/2010 10:53:22 PM

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quote:

Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM?

Short answer:
Yes.

Longer answer:
A lot of people think that someone self-labelling as a switch either:
(1) is lying to maximize potential "scores"
(2) won't be able to be a "true" enough sub or dominant to suit them
or
(3) will try to turn the tables on them.
They don't understand that many switches *could* be happy as purely sub or purely dominant to them.

Some are merely ignorant, and don't understand the various forms of "switchiness". Others understand, but simply prefer a partner who identifies solely as sub or dominant. And finally, there are those who are just stick-in-the-mud closed-minded jerks, refusing to acknowledge the truth about switches because their limited intellects just can't fathom the concept of a real switch.

(in reply to AspX)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/1/2010 1:36:54 AM

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Its funny. Theres a guy that comes on here and who brags on the UK scene that he's the real deal and that switches are just pathetic players.
I recently sat and observed him in his leather chaps, matrix leather coat and his guitar case full of tools to keep his sub/slave in line and thought ' who is the player'!?!? I mean, does he really need to carry that heavy bag of stuff to keep her in control or is he trying to get a message over to his uninterested audience? Does she really need to wear a collar and leash and walk three steps behind him. Wow that kind of control must be awesome

The rest of us are sitting around and having a laugh and he's sitting sternly in the corner with a face that would crack if the wind changed direction and he has the audacity to call us 'un-real'

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(in reply to hardbodysub)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/1/2010 2:19:29 AM

Usako

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I've seen plenty of "switches aren't good enough" type comments on profiles. Used to have a friend who didn't want to switch in public at the local BDSM because of how people thought...might tarnish the manly perspective.

I usually just don't pay it any mind. I am what I am that's all that counts, if people want to limit themselves without even talking to people to get to know them and just fly on labels then so be it.

Just more things that make me laugh when BDSM people claim to be so much more open minded than the "vanilla" world. Humans are flawed no matter where you look. Best to just stop looking.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/1/2010 6:34:15 AM

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I don't think its a case of us being uninteresting but more a case of not interested. Competition among dominants and submissives is no different to other things I have been involved in.

When I worked as a dressage horse trainer I spent a great deal of time in the company of other dressage riders. Put dressage riders in a room full of show-jumpers, hunters or happy hackers and our conversations would of run dry because they were not interested enough in what we were doing and they had no interest in competing with us. In other words we couldn't impress them

Its the same in yachting. On a Friday night in the yacht club all the yachtsmen are having in depth conversations about halyards, mainsheets and reefing. The motor cruising guy is at the other end of the bar totally uninterested and probably wont try and join in the conversation because he will be teased about his floating caravan.

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(in reply to Usako)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/1/2010 7:40:15 PM

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Personally my favorite girl has always been the one that dominates all other women socially but will still truly submit to men. Long before I knew anything about BDSM that was already my preference. But OP should accept that there are women who are so highly submissive that only the most absolutely callous raw dominance will suffice for them. That is a fortunate self-awareness and their honesty should be respected no matter how silly they express it. I wouldn't go near anyone who thought that way, but be glad they are letting people know up front.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/2/2010 4:52:58 PM

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It's always this way. So many people believe in the binary norm that they don't understand anything outside of their comfort zone.

They see the world as Black/White, male/female, liberal/conservative, homosexual/heterosexual, top/bottom. Anything straddling the extremes is viewed as waffling or inconsistent. They can't understand that it's possible for someone to embrace a spectrum of labels. I like being a switch. It fulfills all of my needs.

I think this clip explains the switch role well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhFbuoV_T5U

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/15/2010 10:53:41 PM

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I'd like to know how exactly I'm supposed to figure which one I am without having tried either?

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/17/2010 6:27:32 PM

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I tend to run into more anti bi's than anti switches. I have run accross a few though, and when you get a person who hates both switches AND bi's... It gets to be an interesting tirade.

Eh, it's just better to move on and fortget those people. Afterall, switchers can do anything. We're more versitile, and in my experiences, more open to discussion in how it's done.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/20/2010 1:08:01 PM

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Joined: 7/19/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Plasticine
But OP should accept that there are women who are so highly submissive that only the most absolutely callous raw dominance will suffice for them. That is a fortunate self-awareness and their honesty should be respected no matter how silly they express it. I wouldn't go near anyone who thought that way, but be glad they are letting people know up front.

Love this. Plasticine makes a great point: Such people do us a real service by signalling their incompatibility with us upfront.

Heck, anything that shaves some time from the process of wading through profiles is a godsend.

(in reply to Plasticine)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/20/2010 3:03:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sentrysapper

I'd like to know how exactly I'm supposed to figure which one I am without having tried either?

When you are all by yourself, and you are fantasizing, how are you participating? One way? The other? Both?

The answer might not 100% explain 'who you are', but it might be a good indicator.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to sentrysapper)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/21/2010 8:32:23 AM

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Well stated!!

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If I have to pull up my big girl panties and "Deal With It" one more time, the elastic is going to break and I am really gonna have to show my ass!! :)

(in reply to hardbodysub)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/21/2010 2:45:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh
It can mean that you need both someone to submit to and someone to dominate, which rules out monogamy.

This is only true if the bdsm they engage in is sexual in nature. It doesn't have to be.

Master Fire

People keep saying that. Sex isn't the only kind of cheating, and if it's not intimate I'd be rather surprised if it is fulfilling.

Then put on your surprised face.

I find playing without intimacy to be quite fulfilling. I get my itch scratched and I get to end things whenever the hell I want. It's quite lovely. I love playing with an intimate partner but I also love playing casually with people I've just met at an event.

You are also assuming, quite falsely, that it would have to be cheating. None of what I do is cheating - Valyraen is quite aware, approves and sometimes watchs. He likes to watch my butt jiggle when I'm flogged I think.

Other times he stays home cause he'd rather do something else or he chats with others and I curl up at his feet when I'm done. It's a good life.

We did this when we were monogamous and many of the people I've played with are themselves monogamous. We don't have sex but we greatly enjoy casual scenes.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Nineveh)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/22/2010 5:14:10 PM

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~FR~
Yes, I have noticed that there is prejudice against switches and, as far as I'm concerned, it's nobody's damn business if they aren't in the relationship. If they don't like it, they should just move on, just like people who don't like bisexuals. Move on and find someone they do like.....and quit their griping.

~sweetsub~

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Have you noticed a prejudice against switches on CM? - 7/22/2010 6:42:13 PM

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You beat me to it SweetSub! I haven't gotten much shit as switch but as being Bi? I get it constantly from friends that are gay. I see it the same way.
I bow to my Master and I am extremely submissive. From a relationship standpoint I need to be with a dominate man. As far as playing I enjoy men and women and like to be Domme.
It's all great fun to me either way....Come on even if being a wonderful sub and getting your ass beaten by a wonderful Master, it's still fun to tell a girl "GET ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES AND EAT MY PUSSY!"

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)

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