Investment in Relationships (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 4:43:45 PM)

I was curious about something, and I thought I would ask you all what you think about it...It is about investment into a new relationship with someone that you are excited about. At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment? I am wondering how male and female answers will differ....




littlewonder -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:23:33 PM)

I tend to make myself more available to them and give them everything I have and more.

I will do whatever I can for them and pay attention to them more than usual, paying attention to small details and just showing my interest in them.

I start opening up more about myself to them and I will ask more questions about that person so that I can show them that I do want to get more involved in their life.




laurell3 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:25:17 PM)

Tell them just that.




Missokyst -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:36:48 PM)

yep.  I just tell them.  With the x we were having dinner one night and I said.. "thump"  He asked why I said that and I told him if you were a fisherman and I was a fish, my head just hit the boat, you can reel me in anytime.  He thought that was cute and we were a couple at that moment.




laurell3 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:48:03 PM)

awww that's cute!




juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:48:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

yep.  I just tell them.  With the x we were having dinner one night and I said.. "thump"  He asked why I said that and I told him if you were a fisherman and I was a fish, my head just hit the boat, you can reel me in anytime.  He thought that was cute and we were a couple at that moment.


That is a cute story...

What I am talking about is the actions though, moreso then words. How do you act, do you call more often, go out of your way to spend time...




Missokyst -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:58:07 PM)

When we first met I was seeing other people beside him and he knew it.  After about 3 months of juggling dates and discovering I was holding out for a night out with him I just stopped seeing the rest.  Shortly after he must have caught on because he was taking me out a lot more, one night became two, two became five and then he had the talk with me about wanting it to be exclusive.  I let him know I already made that choice and hadn't seen anyone but him in weeks.




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 5:59:06 PM)

Well if they were a dom I wanted to serve, I'd start taking orders, following them doing what he tells me to and over all acting and being submissive to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I was curious about something, and I thought I would ask you all what you think about it...It is about investment into a new relationship with someone that you are excited about. At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment? I am wondering how male and female answers will differ....




TheHeretic -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:00:43 PM)

I spend the night, instead of making some lame excuse about why I need to leave.

If it gets really mushy and stuff, I'll even give her a one-month anniversary card of the first time I made her sleep in the wet spot.




marie2 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:05:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.




mstrjx -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:08:34 PM)

Last time, I up and moved. Took a $500 a week pay cut. And if you saw the whole picture, you would agree I was right in doing so, assuming the relationship was going to last.

That a large enough investment?

I'm not being bitter. I'm fairly certain the company I walked away from doesn't exist today. I could be jobless today; who knows?

And, that's not to say I wouldn't do something similar again. Move, that is. I'm pretty certain I would make as much or more elsewhere. Whatever happens I won't be dumb this next time, either.

Jeff




xxblushesxx -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:13:54 PM)

I make myself unavailable to others, make myself more emotionally available to him, and do my best to make him happy.

Boring but, that's it.




juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:13:54 PM)

I moved too, but I made lemonade out of lemons.... I am better off today than when I met him, and although he was a catalyst the credit for that is all mine[:)]




laurell3 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:14:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....




marie2 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:16:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....


It tends to send a very clear message. :)




juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:17:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I make myself unavailable to others, make myself more emotionally available to him, and do my best to make him happy.

Boring but, that's it.


I remember that book called "The Rules" and I wonder if it applies to D/s people




DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:18:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I tend to make myself more available to them and give them everything I have and more.

I will do whatever I can for them and pay attention to them more than usual, paying attention to small details and just showing my interest in them.

I start opening up more about myself to them and I will ask more questions about that person so that I can show them that I do want to get more involved in their life.


This doesn't work for me.  I don't know what to do.  When I find someone I like so much I think I'm going to explode, and I offer myself to them and then they don't want me.  I guess I'm too easy, cause I usually tend to know right away or pretty quickly, anyway.  It always hurts when they end up not wanting me.  It hurts a lot.

Though, recently, I did start to get excited about someone.  I was talking to them a lot the last couple days on the phone.  Then I discovered he was a bigot.  Another one bites the dust.  These types of encounters don't hurt me so much as just leave me feeling disappointed.  So many idiots.  ~heavy sigh~






juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:18:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....


It tends to send a very clear message. :)


And one that they can definitely "understand"[:D]




DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:24:32 PM)

quote:

do you call more often, go out of your way to spend time...


I've done that so much and now, I'm scared to death and don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.  Sometimes. 

I think that now, I've got a better handle on things.  I think I've learned to relax, I hope, but then again, I haven't met another one that tripped my trigger so hard that I felt breathless and speechless and tongue tied and everything else and I sure do wish I would!  Cause I want that man that makes me feel like THAT!

And Missokyst, I thought your story was really cute, too.






slvemike4u -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 6:32:45 PM)

That is incredibly condescending Julia.....not that I would object to such condescension,but still...dammit "they" are reading this shit too you know [8|]




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