RE: Investment in Relationships

RE: Investment in Relationships (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:19:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Sometimes it simply means he wants to get some, sometimes it means more. I do not read into physical acts, I am more interested in what a person says and the context. When you start thinking that physical acts mean something, you can get into trouble.....but bj's ar still nice! I think that this has been my experience as to invitations to have sex for a weekend... but men view these things differently than we do, katy, so I really want to see what it means to THEM.

DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:20:31 PM)
No, that's my experience. The ones that just want to fuck don't spend the night. They get out as fast as possible. lol I'll have to go look at that book, The Rules? I've not heard of it. I should think it would be different for people of our ilk, but idk. Tu sabes? I just found their website. They got a whole slew of books. They also have a phone number you can call them on. Is that for real? I looked, yes it is, for $300.

littlewonder -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:21:27 PM)
for me this idea that dating d/s vs any other way just isn't true for me. It's exactly the same. We meet, we talk, we get to know each other. We go out again, talk some more, get to know each other some more. Rinse, repeat until we realize we both like each other a lot and want to know each other better and we dig deeper, spend more time together, talk in a more intimate manner in trying to get to the deeper levels of each other until we both come to the same conclusion over time that we want to spend time together exclusively. When I was young I would jump into relationships with disasterous results. As I matured I finally woke up and slowed down and took my time to see who I was really wanting to be with. I think taking my time with Master has worked. :)

TheHeretic -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:23:39 PM)
Our communication would be much smoother if you could tell when I'm simply making a joke. quote: so lets say a guy invites a woman to spend the weekend with him at his home, this is an indication he really is digging her? A weekend at his home could be a very serious opening up. Not at all the same as a weekend getaway. This could be "farting in your presence," BIG. (Don't be lust-stupid about it. I'd offer to be your daily safe-call, but you might take that wrong)

DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Sometimes it simply means he wants to get some, sometimes it means more. I do not read into physical acts, I am more interested in what a person says and the context. When you start thinking that physical acts mean something, you can get into trouble.....but bj's ar still nice! I think that this has been my experience as to invitations to have sex for a weekend... but men view these things differently than we do, katy, so I really want to see what it means to THEM. It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words. And, yes, I agree that when they invite you to spend a weekend with you at their home, it's a big deal.

juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:24:58 PM)
quote: I think taking my time with Master has worked. :) And this is the important thing, it worked for you

KatyLied -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:25:16 PM)
What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway? [;)]

juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:26:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway? [;)] Or even worse, we do[:D]

KatyLied -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:27:16 PM)
quote: It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words. I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts.

KatyLied -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:28:54 PM)
quote: Or even worse, we do I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL

juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:29:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words. I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts. I think that is when actions match the words that it demonstrates the best of what the intentions are

DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:30:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder for me this idea that dating d/s vs any other way just isn't true for me. It's exactly the same. We meet, we talk, we get to know each other. We go out again, talk some more, get to know each other some more. Rinse, repeat until we realize we both like each other a lot and want to know each other better and we dig deeper, spend more time together, talk in a more intimate manner in trying to get to the deeper levels of each other until we both come to the same conclusion over time that we want to spend time together exclusively. When I was young I would jump into relationships with disastrous results. As I matured I finally woke up and slowed down and took my time to see who I was really wanting to be with. I think taking my time with Master has worked. :) I think that this is the way it's supposed to go and I think that when I was much younger, I would have pushed aside the signs of this last guy's bigotry. Now that I'm older, there are some things that are very important to me. I don't want to be with a bigot. When I was younger, I might have deluded myself that he really didn't mean it or listened to him as he would and did say that he wasn't a racist, but he couldn't stand to see a black man with a white woman, but how he was over it now. And he continued to make plenty of racist based statements on a myriad of other topics.

juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:30:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: Or even worse, we do I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL I am unwilling to go that far to get a fart pass, I will have to settle for the anal sex giving me the excuse[:-]

TheHeretic -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:31:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway? [;)] That was no mistake. In the car, on the way home from a great time. That's when you a guy can let a ripper go, and see how well this relationship is going to pan out.

KatyLied -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:31:32 PM)
quote: I think that is when actions match the words that it demonstrates the best of what the intentions are Yep. I walked away from a guy because what he said did not match what he did. It was frustrating and I had enough of it.

DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:32:06 PM)
quote: I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. I DO understand that! But I think that a man asking you to his home for the weekend, I think that's a big deal. I could be wrong, that might not and probably isn't true for EVERY male, but I think it is true for a good percentage. (I wonder if that data is available for mapping?)

laurell3 -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:35:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words. I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts. Short of constantly asking him, which would drive most men nuts, I'm not sure you always know the value they attach to any given action. I really think you kind of have to openly express how YOU feel and take a leap of faith that he means what he says. If, along the way you discover that his actions and words don't meet up, well then you deal with it, but I'm not sure alot of angst over what he may be thinking is going to do much more than make you miserable.

juliaoceania -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:35:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage quote: I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. I DO understand that! But I think that a man asking you to his home for the weekend, I think that's a big deal. I could be wrong, that might not and probably isn't true for EVERY male, but I think it is true for a good percentage. (I wonder if that data is available for mapping?) I suppose this is the time for the conversation mentioned earlier on the thread... perhaps, just maybe it might be a bigger deal to him than to you. It is not always the man who isn't sure where the relationship should go.... sometimes it is we women....

DarlingSavage -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:37:49 PM)
quote: I suppose this is the time for the conversation mentioned earlier on the thread... perhaps, just maybe it might be a bigger deal to him than to you. It is not always the man who isn't sure where the relationship should go.... sometimes it is we women.... I'd say that it's usually me. Well, maybe not necessarily, I know when it ISN'T going to pan out with someone because I've discovered I'm not interested. Other than that, I tend to worry about things a lot. Now I have something I have to take care of, but I'll be looking back in when I'm done to see any other input. Thanks!

thornhappy -> RE: Investment in Relationships (7/23/2010 8:43:51 PM)
What about varts? Are those relationship-enders, or merely a source of humor? [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: Or even worse, we do I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL I am unwilling to go that far to get a fart pass, I will have to settle for the anal sex giving me the excuse[:-]

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