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Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:00:14 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none. It's getting harder and harder for me to keep up with any of the shows I like to watch, to the point where it seems I might as well just give up, and then I won't be frustrated when I miss them. I can sit next to him while he is watching TV or listening to music, but his tastes are very different to mine and there is a limit to how many programmes I can watch about construction, machinery or the military.

I'm having a bit of a whinge here, because I guess I didn't really expect that being a slave meant giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life. He gets to decide what we watch at the cinema, what DVDs we buy and what we watch on TV, so the control is total. I haven't been able to listen to my music in 5 months and I find myself worrying that I will miss something I consider important, or never be able to watch my favourite films again. I'm really having an 'it's not fair' moment. I know - it's not supposed to be fair. It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality. Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future? How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue, is this normal and I'm the only one getting bothered by it?

I'd be really grateful for any thoughts, experiences or suggestions.

owned xxx

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:46:13 AM

Posts: 102
Joined: 9/16/2008
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~FR

Greetings,
it is 430 here and so i am praying this will make sense.
When i was owned many things were controlled. When i was in His presence i had to beg to pee, get in bed, leave bed, leave the house, play games, cum, nibble on Him and other things. When not in His presence i had to be connected to the camera in the house so He could always come in and see what was happening. When i left the house i ha to set the tracker on my phone so He'd know where i was all the time. Had to ask to skip school, go to the bathroom, play games, make changes to my body (his), ask to drink more than 3 drinks, play, cum and more other stuff.

The point is, imho, it isn't about You. even hen it feels like it should be more often, it simply isn't. For whatever reason Your Owner has decided He wants to make changes to You. Changes which please Him. The ability you need to develop now is adaptation. Bend for Him, let Him mold You to be what brings Him pleasure. That is the point yes? During times like that what i'd do is picture all the reasons i need Him, and imagine that need , and then imagine the empty place and how huge it will be when there is absolutely nothing there and you are left with silence, confusion and so much disorder that the word concentration looses meaning. Then put the tv in the middle of that huge hole...how much of your emptiness does it fill? Any mundane thing at all, bathroom, bed, games, books, bla, bla...they are nothing compared to the gaping darkness....they are so tiny compared to the empty place. That is the picture in my head about it anyways.

be well,
tyr

_____________________________

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

'If i can laugh at something 3 times i can deal with it to it's completion' ~tyrasia~

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 3:10:04 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

TV? Who watches that anymore?

I quit watching 5 years ago.

OP, if you want compatibility in and out of bed, then don't settle for less. If you've settled for less and don't like it: time to make a change.

Sounds like you're not a very good match with your owner, in or out of bed. Most of us, if we were going to settle- would insist on good compatibility in at least one out of the two areas.

(edit for clarity)

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 5/22/2011 3:11:18 AM >

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 3:26:42 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
Sounds like you're not a very good match with your owner, in or out of bed. Most of us, if we were going to settle- would insist on good compatibility in at least one out of the two areas.

*Totally bemused* How on earth have you come to the conclusion that we're not compatible in bed?!

owned xxx

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 3:28:01 AM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
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fr

Well, which is most important to you.. him or watching the latest episode of House? Television programming is, seriously, complete crap. You're really not going to be missing anything and can be a lot more productive and well rounded by just giving it up. In any event, yeah.. it's the slave life. Sometimes it sucks but if it's *mostly* wonderful, do keep that in mind. Good luck. The withdrawals won't last that long.

Oh, talk to him, too. Ask him if there are ways to earn tv time as a reward or something. Won't hurt to ask!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 3:50:13 AM

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Have you considered doing something really really old fashioned and start reading books?

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 3:57:21 AM

WesternHypnotist

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Joined: 3/28/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Have you considered doing something really really old fashioned and start reading books?

Constanze is quite right. Beside that, you could use this as an opportunity, to better yourself for your Owner. Ask for books on slavery, or specific topics like Goreanism or Protocol -- it doesn't necessarily have to be what you practice, simply relevant in some ways. I would counsel not to reject something based on it not being from your "school of thought."

Or just books on how to please better, orally, or how to cook better -- I don't know your responsibilities.

Regardless of what you choose to look into (or what He chooses for you), take the restriction as an opportunity to better yourself.

Besides, TV is overrated.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:07:10 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Have you considered doing something really really old fashioned and start reading books?

Thanks, but I am already a prolific reader. We currently have 4 bookcases double stacked with books and it grows every month. That's not to say that I don't enjoy other forms of media too. It's not either / or.

owned xxx

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:12:09 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WesternHypnotist
...you could use this as an opportunity, to better yourself for your Owner. Ask for books on slavery, or specific topics like Goreanism...

Lol, have you ever read any of the Gor books? I have. They are bad, very, very bad. I don't think that perusing 'Tarnsmen of Gor' is going to help my slavery much

quote:

ORIGINAL: WesternHypnotist
Besides, TV is overrated.

Yeah, but it's better than Gor :-P

owned xxx

(in reply to WesternHypnotist)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:25:12 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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My dom also controls the TV, although not quite so absolutely. We watch DVDs from netflix or the library (only), and I get input on both. If I pick something he doesn't want to watch, I can watch it on my pc or on my own time. There is not a lot, we tend to agree on which series and movies we want to watch. We both like brit shows.

But he decides when we start watching, which DVD we watch, when we stop.

I think the OP would feel better about her situation if they were more compatible in their viewing tastes. Perhaps a respectful conversation about same is in order?

Maybe her owner doesn't think watching "House" is very productive, but humans need time to destress and not be productive, IMO.

_____________________________

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:27:50 AM

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Joined: 9/16/2008
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could use them as practice for focusing on things you don't particularly like doing :D

(disclaimer this is a joke , merely a joke of the 'joking, no, seriously i'm joking' system anyone that takes this seriously i pity)

On a serious note, you could use something similar to actually try and achieve that end....in or out of BDSM and relationships, it is a great skill to have.

tyrasia

_____________________________

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

'If i can laugh at something 3 times i can deal with it to it's completion' ~tyrasia~

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:36:56 AM

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none. It's getting harder and harder for me to keep up with any of the shows I like to watch, to the point where it seems I might as well just give up, and then I won't be frustrated when I miss them. I can sit next to him while he is watching TV or listening to music, but his tastes are very different to mine and there is a limit to how many programmes I can watch about construction, machinery or the military.

I'm having a bit of a whinge here, because I guess I didn't really expect that being a slave meant giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life. He gets to decide what we watch at the cinema, what DVDs we buy and what we watch on TV, so the control is total. I haven't been able to listen to my music in 5 months and I find myself worrying that I will miss something I consider important, or never be able to watch my favourite films again. I'm really having an 'it's not fair' moment. I know - it's not supposed to be fair. It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality. Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future? How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue, is this normal and I'm the only one getting bothered by it?

I'd be really grateful for any thoughts, experiences or suggestions.

owned xxx

The part I bolded I find disturbing. Yes, he has every right to do that, but it seems extreme to me.
Music, for me is a huge stress relief. I work from home and 95% of the time I have my iPod playlists playing full blast throughout the day.
I can somewhat see limiting tv time if you spend too much time in front of it. But music? I see no point in that.
Will he ban books next?

_____________________________

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:38:03 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Television programming is, seriously, complete crap. You're really not going to be missing anything and can be a lot more productive and well rounded by just giving it up.

I have to disagree. There is a lot of crap on TV, but there is also a lot of good stuff. Like factual programmes - documentaries, interviews, history, politics, archaeology, BBC news. And there are some amazing films shown on TV. I'll never forget watching 12 Angry Men for the first time, or The Crucible. Likewise, we all need TV to communicate with the world - could we really understand the impact of 9/11 without seeing those films of the planes flying into the towers? I will never, ever forget watching that live on my TV. Or when they pulled the Chilean miners out of the ground a few months ago - that was a breathtaking TV moment, I'll always be glad I didn't miss that.

This thread seems to have been hijacked by the 'TV is crap' brigade. Doesn't anyone feel that watching TV makes them a more rounded, better informed and more open minded person, and that their life would have been poorer for never having seen some of their favourite films or real life events, and that as a human being on this planet, they have some sort of right to be aware of and a witness to world events?

owned xxx

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:46:33 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none. It's getting harder and harder for me to keep up with any of the shows I like to watch, to the point where it seems I might as well just give up, and then I won't be frustrated when I miss them. I can sit next to him while he is watching TV or listening to music, but his tastes are very different to mine and there is a limit to how many programmes I can watch about construction, machinery or the military.

I'm having a bit of a whinge here, because I guess I didn't really expect that being a slave meant giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life. He gets to decide what we watch at the cinema, what DVDs we buy and what we watch on TV, so the control is total. I haven't been able to listen to my music in 5 months and I find myself worrying that I will miss something I consider important, or never be able to watch my favourite films again. I'm really having an 'it's not fair' moment. I know - it's not supposed to be fair. It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality. Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future? How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue, is this normal and I'm the only one getting bothered by it?

I'd be really grateful for any thoughts, experiences or suggestions.

owned xxx

The part I bolded I find disturbing. Yes, he has every right to do that, but it seems extreme to me.
Music, for me is a huge stress relief. I work from home and 95% of the time I have my iPod playlists playing full blast throughout the day.
I can somewhat see limiting tv time if you spend too much time in front of it. But music? I see no point in that.
Will he ban books next?

I was also disturbed by that, it seemed off to me. (TY Aileen) I can listen to music all day when he is at work, when he comes home, he usually likes it quiet. But forbidden to listen seems very wrong (to me). I really don't see the point other than control for controls sake alone, demanding obedience b/c he can. But then I often don't get others dynamic.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:50:34 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
Sounds like you're not a very good match with your owner, in or out of bed. Most of us, if we were going to settle- would insist on good compatibility in at least one out of the two areas.

*Totally bemused* How on earth have you come to the conclusion that we're not compatible in bed?!

owned xxx

Well, after making that post I perved your journal. I gotta say, it was pretty hawt! So I could be wrong on that count.

But my line of thinking was that if you're owned property, then basically what you're doing in the bedroom is a continuation of the rest of your life (the "out of bed" part) and vice versa. So I was extrapolating, from your OP- that if the vanilla stuff he is domming you on is this mismatched, then its likely that there are other significant aspects of your D/s relationship (read: the "in bed" part) that also don't mesh well.

It may be flawed logic. But its something to consider. Are you really that good of a D/s match- and if so, then how much of your vanilla life are you willing to change or give up, for that? Shouldn't you be able to have your cake and eat it too, or do you really have to settle? If you want 24/7, then shouldn't you be getting off on it?

I served a guy for a while, who- the sex was awesome, but he watched all different shows than I did. He hated the ones I loved, and I hated the ones he loved. There was no commonality there. Its not a problem, if you don't watch TV. By the time we got together, I hadn't been watching TV for years- so I continued to not watch my favorite shows while he was around. So that wasn't much of an imposition. But he would watch these marathons of shows I hated, when we could have been having awesome sex instead, over long hours- every damn day.

That wasn't what ended the relationship, but it was a big factor- since basically it was a vanilla interests thing that was getting in the way of us potentially having a great D/s time in the sack- just by the amount of time involved, and the feeling I was left with of having my needs and desires ignored and discounted, in favor of what I considered to be some really awful, mind numbingly boring and stupid, time-wasting TV shows.

When it got to where I knew I really had to end the relationship, I was hugely relieved at the thought that I need never waste another minute of my life watching those horrible shows!

Now I'm with someone who also doesn't watch TV- and we happily spend hours in the sack every damn day, with the best sex I've had in years. We're in heaven.

So you can see where I was coming from. I might have been off base- but it is something to think about. If it doesn't apply to you, then at least my heart is in the right place. I am trying to help you think about these things, or maybe get through to anyone else who has similar concerns. If I'm wrong about your particular situation, OP: my bad.

Your journal made me super HOT!

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 6:44:30 AM

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Joined: 9/26/2009
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When owned i was not allowed to watch TV either. However, if i finished my chores or my MASTERS wanted me out of their hair, i was allowed to read in my room

Having been unowned for awhile, i can say i do enjoy television. If ever fortunate enough to find a MASTER again and no TV is one of the rules, then i will have to adjust. Being owned 24/7 means giving up your wants for your MASTERS needs

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 6:46:58 AM

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Well, my first thought was that you could try accepting it- Perhaps he has something in mind for you, trying to take you to a new place (that of a non-media person). I thought maybe you should 'try that out' and see what happens/what you become by doing as he says. Maybe you'd find more fulfilling ways to fill that now empty time, etc. My brain definitely rewires a bit when I go off tv for a while.

But since -he's- still watching tv (does he watch as much as you used to, or just once in a while?), And since he's cutting music, too.... I suspect that ChatteParfaitt is more correct-he's being controlling for the sake of it.

Then, that just goes back to you and your level of submission. I'd take a moment and look into yourself- Look at your level of submission, look at his motives, look at the effect on yourself. End of the day, it doesn't really matter how common that is or isn't anywhere else.

-Rx

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 6:50:08 AM

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What is his reason for imposing those limitations?

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- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to txurinal)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 6:57:08 AM

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If it's that important to you and you've talked to him about it...I'm assuming you have..if you haven't you need to, and he still won't allow you some of those then I would say you chose poorly in the relationship department and you now have to ask yourself a very tough question..which is more important?

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:02:33 AM

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I was a slave to my Master long before the i understood the internet so luckily i was already adapted to having less media. He never banned me from watching my favorite shows, if he wanted to watch something it was his choice. However, he wasn't a TV hog and expected me to sit there twiddling my thumbs while he watched stuff he enjoyed that bored me or such. Yes there were nights he wanted me near him, but all in all, he didn't need me glued to him when he was watching TV all the time and he was perfectly capable of getting himself something if i was off doing something else. We didn't watch a whole heck of a lot of TV all in all. So i really can't relate to the "fight for the remote" concept lol

I really don't get the not being allowed to listen to your music -- don't you have an ipod? Are you not allowed to watch what you want when he isn't around? Have you ASKED him about it -- i.e., is it his intention that you never be allowed to enjoy your films, your music etc in the future but are being required to turn all of your tastes to his. I mean seriously have you asked him this point blank?

I disagree on many levels with the answer of wanting to enjoy your entertainment is a concept of disloyalty so to speak. To me, a Man shouldn't be THAT insecure that a woman wanting to enjoy some things SHE likes sends him into insecurity of she isn't putting him first. To me, while i can see a Man wanting his slave educated in what he enjoys because that does help compatability and conversation and such, i don't see him disallowing her any enjoyment of her personal preferences all encompassing all of the time. Again, i am speaking of the absolute no enjoyment as the OP is indicating its getting to that point. To me, this is a robot concept that i just don't connect with what being slave is. Yes, you do sacrifice some things you enjoy because his choices usually are the perogative of him, but giving up every getting to enjoy things you find entertaining -- just sounds odd to me.

OP, i'd just ask him. He may tell you and you will have a better perception of it all.
You could be misunderstanding what he is doing and maybe this isn't a forever concept, but instead a bit of training that is supposed to be teaching you something. Maybe these will become ultra privileges for you.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 5/22/2011 7:08:12 AM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

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